Chapter 9

NINE

Samantha

The next morning, I get up extra early to avoid breakfast with Granger and Aydan, then head toward my wildlife class, toolbelt on my waist, just in case. I know I'm being a chicken by avoiding the guys, but as someone who never gets hangovers, I figured getting up early was a hell of a lot easier than dealing with my complicated emotions first thing in the morning. My plan is pretty much to take the walk to the wildlife class really slowly, then hang around getting my bearings until class time.

And to think.

I feel angry at Aydan. But more than that, I'm angry at myself. I've been trying so hard to distract myself from my feelings for him, by losing myself in a cute boy, that I've complicated my life in ways that are irritating as hell.

It's not that it was a stupid plan. I've distracted myself with other men for years, I just should have been more careful what I was doing around Aydan, knowing how he can get.

Which takes me back to being angry at Aydan. Why does he get like this? Granger was always good at being an accidental cock-blocker, but Aydan acts like I'm his little sister, and anyone who touches me has to die. While I'm standing there wishing he would kiss me, he's looking down at me like the idea of anyone seeing me as a sexual being is insane.

He is the most irritating person alive.

"Sam!"

I turn around and spot Granger hurrying up the path behind me. Unable to help myself, I smile. He's wearing a button-up plaid shirt stretched across his wide frame and cargo pants with a bunch of pockets. His hair is a mess. Not cute-guy messy, just I-never-run-a-comb-through-it messy. He's also grinning and waving as he rushes toward me.

"Hey," I greet while he sweeps me into another one of his tight bear hugs. "What's up?" I manage to gasp out before he releases me.

"You weren't at breakfast."

I shrug, avoiding his gaze, knowing he'll see right through me. "I got up a little earlier."

"So, avoiding Aydan, huh?" He's smirking.

I laugh. "Maybe. A little. But do you blame me? He was acting like a real asshole yesterday."

He sighs and wraps an arm around my shoulder. "We're not friends with Aydan because he lacks the classic traits of the allusive asshole, we're friends with him because he also has the traits of the classic, and rare, hero."

"Hero?" I repeat in disbelief.

"Hero," he repeats, thrusting a hand in the air like he's thrusting a sword.

I shake my head. "Being fearless doesn't make him a hero…"

Granger looks genuinely surprised. "I'm not referring to his fearlessness, I'm referring to his empathy. Not just the fact that he cares about us, but the fact that he's willing to do the unglamorous work to help others."

I must look confused, because he continues. "Remember when we were in high school and Jami FartFace, I mean Jami Farceface, started making my life hell? Suddenly, Aydan was waiting for me after every class, working out with me, and taking me out to keep me busy. It wasn't enough that whatever he said to Jami made him terrified of me, he seemed to understand that having that asshole put me down, mess with me, and generally make me miserable had an effect on my self-esteem."

It's hard not to smile. "I never said the jerk wasn't also a good guy."

He shakes his head. "The word is hero." He hesitates, his expression uncertain. "My first year of college was a little tougher than I let on. The big D, depression , kind of hit me like a punch."

"Granger!" Why didn't he tell me?

He squeezes the arm around my shoulders just a little tighter. "I'm fine, seriously. But my point is, Aydan pulled me out of some dark times. So even though I've given up some… things for him, I don't regret it. He's a friend for life."

Granger is right. He's always right. "You both were amazing when my dad passed."

Even saying the words brings up flashes of memories. The car accident. The phone call. Racing to the hospital but not making it in time. Losing my dad just before high school graduation, and Granger and Aydan picking the pieces up and putting me back together.

"I'm sorry, Sam," he whispers, his breath warm on my hair. "He was a good man. And being there for you? It was easy when we love you so much."

I lean into him. "You're too good for us, Granger."

Seriously, he's the kindest person I've ever known.

"You two are everything to me," he says softly. "That's why I don't want to see you fighting and avoiding each other. I mean, this is supposed to be our best summer ever, right?"

"Right," I sigh, my thoughts running wild. "But is he ever going to stop being the vagina police?"

His brows rise. "I'm sorry, did you say vagina police ?"

I nod, then gesture toward my lady bits. "The gatekeeper to my sex life?"

He smiles uncomfortably. "Uh, no. He's going to be, uh, standing guard permanently."

"Like, I'm going to have to marry in secret or else risk his wrath?" I tease.

"Marry?" He gives me a look like I just said a dirty word. "We have years before we have to worry about killing some guy, don't we?"

I laugh and punch his shoulder. "Just tell him to ease up."

He kisses the top of my head. "I'll do what I can, but Aydan is as stubborn as you are."

I punch him again. "Liar! I'm not the least bit stubborn!"

"You're like irritating twins!" he exclaims dramatically.

I glare at him. "I've never hated you more."

We both laugh, and then I sigh. "You off to class?"

He nods. "There's so much science here. I'm in heaven."

"Science and girls?" I wiggle my brows. "You going to hook up with some of them?"

He blushes, then coughs. "Uh, I'm not sure any girl can handle all of this." He gestures to his body, but there's a little sadness hiding behind his words. Like he doesn't think he can get a girl.

I grab him by the shirt and pull him closer, so our faces are inches from each other. "If you weren't basically my brother, I'd be all up on that."

His brows rise so high they disappear into his hair. "Really?"

"Really." I draw out the word.

He licks his lips.

I release him. "So, you better bet some girl is going to be handling that and handling it hard , all summer long."

His face turns deep red. "Is it suddenly hot out here?"

I laugh. "Go enjoy all your science for now. Tonight? I'm going to start the search for the girl who's going to be riding you all summer, and you better bet she has to be this," I do an hourglass figure, "hot to ride that."

He shakes his head laughing. We hug, and then go in opposite directions on the path.

Relieved, I walk with a little more purpose. Not only am I going to the class I've been waiting for, taught by the professor that I've been dreaming of, things feel a little more settled with my friends. Granger is right that I don't want to spend the entire summer fighting, but I'm also right that Aydan has to take a step back.

So I'll adjust things. Maybe I don't have to be as in-his-face about the guys I'm interested in. Maybe I'm throwing my sexuality in his face a little because I'm jealous that he's banging everything that moves at his college. It doesn't mean I'm not going to have any fun this summer, but it does mean that I can maybe find a middle ground to deal with the grumpy, protective wolf-man.

"Sam!" Dahlia comes running up behind me on the path, and I grin. Wildlife is the only class we have together, and with her making friends left and right, most of the male variety, we haven't had a lot of time to hang out.

She catches up with me, and I smile. "You didn't make it back to the cabin last night."

Her lips twist into a smile. "I met someone. Probably not someone I'll talk to after the summer, but still someone hot enough to pass the time with."

"Which is exactly what we need this summer."

We exchange the cheesiest high five ever, and we keep walking to class, enjoying the sun on our faces and the feel of the wind at our backs. It's nice to finally be in our element. After school, we should, hopefully, spend the rest of our lives in nature.

"Did you get any nibbles last night?"

I laugh. "Not exactly."

She makes a comically shocked face. "With those knockers? There's no way."

"I might have the knockers, but you have the ass," I tease.

Dahlia always seems to think that because she's on the flatter side, I have some huge advantage, but we've both got traits that the other one loves. I've even been tempted a time or two to dye my red locks her dark shade. Just the idea of blending in a little has its own appeal.

"I do have a nice ass," she says, smacking it and grinning. "Still, I don't believe there was no one sniffing around you. I mean, there's what? Five guys to every girl up here. Even the ones hit with an ugly stick are going to get laid this summer."

It's hard to hold back my groan at her outrageousness. "Well, there's this Will guy who seems like he could be fun, but Aydan had to get all overprotective on me and ruin it."

"And there's no chemistry with Aydan?" she asks, lifting a brow.

I wrap my arms around myself, suddenly feeling the chill, even in my jacket. "I don't know. Last night there was a minute where I thought there might have been… something, but I think it was just in my head. No matter what I do, I just can't seem to get Aydan to really see me. You know?"

She bumps my shoulder with her own. "If he doesn't see you, then forget about him. Just have fun with Will, or whoever else comes along."

It's good advice.

We reach the gate that takes us out of the Phoenix Institute and then hurry until we see the archway with Phoenix Sanctuary written across it. There's a little white brick building here, covered in vines, just like the rest of the place. This is where we're supposed to meet, so we linger outside, the first to arrive.

"So, do you think I have to touch animals here?"

I laugh. "I would think so."

"You definitely will."

We both stiffen as Doctor Hannah Abigail emerges from the trees to our side. My brain suddenly freezes, and I study her. She's carrying a cage with a towel thrown over it. She's wearing long jeans and a tank-top with a dark jacket. Her dark hair, weaved with gray, is in a long ponytail that's thrown over one shoulder, and she has the air of someone who's been awake for hours.

She sets the cage down and stretches out her hand to shake mine. "Samantha Callaway, it's good to meet you."

"You know who I am?" I'm a little star-struck. What is it with these professors knowing the names of random students?

Tilting her head, she studies me. "Of course I know who you are. I handpicked you. Out of all the students here, you're one of my top contenders to work with me after your graduation." She smirks, probably when she sees my shocked expression. "Don't look surprised. Your grades are phenomenal, your internships, jobs, and volunteer positions are all in line with someone who genuinely enjoys working with animals. And none of that takes into account your essay recounting your experiences caring for animals even as a young child."

I'm too shocked to be flattered. "I really want to work here."

Her smirk gentles to a smile. "So do a lot of you, so make sure you're as impressive as I've been led to believe." Then she turns to my friend. "Dahlia Romero. You plan to be a game warden. We could use more of them that actually give two shits about the wildlife."

"That's why I'm here," Dahlia says confidently.

I'm not sure what else the doctor planned to say, but the other students arrive in a pack, and then she takes us, and her cage, into the building. She introduces us to the many incredible people that she works with. Many of whom I'd read a considerable number of papers by. She also shows us around her lab, pointing out such expensive pieces of equipment that, unless we get jobs here, none of us were likely to ever see again.

She sets the cage down in the back of the lab. "You two," she says, pointing to two students. "You're with Dr. Potter. You three," she indicates three more students, "you're with Dr. Synx." Then she waves over a doctor that has just entered the building. "And Dr. Reynolds, can you give these four a tour of the sanctuary?" He nods and they head toward him, including Dahlia.

I'm the only one left, and I'm starting to get nervous.

"You haven't been forgotten," she says, as if she knows exactly what I was thinking. "Do you have your phone on you?"

I nod and pull my phone off my toolbelt.

She snatches it before I say a word and starts typing away. I try to wrack my brain about the last time I took stupid drunk pictures of myself, then pray the good doctor has more to do than go through my pictures. "There," she says, and hands it back.

I see a new app on my phone. "Laser Tracker." My mouth drops. "Is this an app that connects to the laser tracker that you developed?"

She grins. "The very one."

I'm freaking giddy. "This allows you to track animals further than any other tracking device. But not only that, you use your Laser Chipper to tag animals from far distances without hurting them."

She looks pleased, and she probably should be. The paper about her invention had just recently been printed, so the knowledge isn't widely known yet. But I have an alert set up to automatically notify me anytime anything is published from Dr. Abigail, or including her.

Without a word, she opens a drawer and slides out a device that looks like a small silver gun hanging from a long, thin silver chain. A necklace identical to the one she's wearing. She holds it out for me and says, "Take it. You'll be wearing it from this point forward."

I do as she says and slip it around my neck. It's lighter than I expect. The gun sits right between my breasts, always close enough to reach.

She lifts up her own necklace. "Hold it out like this."

I do as she tells me, holding it between my two hands with my thumbs resting on a smooth black plate on the back of it, my fingers on the trigger. "Ouch." The damn thing shocks me, and I drop it, grateful the chain keeps it from falling.

"It's now taken a recording of your fingerprints. The only way someone else can use it is by holding it the same exact way. Then, it will allow both of you to use it. Slip your thumbs off the back." I obey. "From now on, if you fire it, as you would any other weapon, the Tracker will fire if there's a living being in front of it. It can fire as far as 120 yards, or the length of a football field, and adjusts velocity based on how far or close the target is. It also zeroes in on anything that radiates heat, so don't shoot it with people in that area."

"It's smaller than I imagined," I tell her, and I hate that I sound breathless.

"A lot of the animals we track have a tendency to surprise us when we least expect them. This way, whether I'm searching for an animal or out for a walk, I have the equipment in range to chip an animal. Then, we can keep an eye on them."

"Is this how you're allowing the phoenixes to remain in their habitat safely?"

She nods again, seeming surprised at my knowledge. "Right now, we're putting female phoenixes in captivity, along with potential mates, because the females are so rare."

"I heard that. Do you have any idea why the males seem to outnumber them ten-to-one?"

"You've done your research." Again, she sounds impressed. "No, we don't. But–" she turns and leads me to a door, where she swipes a keycard and then takes me further into the back. Here, there are ancient-looking books, textiles, pottery, and maps, along with photos of cave walls spread on different tables. Some of the cave walls even remind me of the one we explored. She snatches up one of the photos. "Petroglyphs depict the phoenixes, along with several other extinct animals, but all of the drawings are the males of the species. The jagged handfish, all male. The sphnix macaw, all male."

"Have you found bones of any of the females?"

She smiles and goes to a drawer, slowly pulling it out. "We've found evidence of females in every species save for the phoenixes. Well, we have evidence of the female bones of more recent birds, but not from any from the past. Something about the composition of their delicate bones essentially turns them to dust after a short amount of time."

As she closes the drawer, I wander back to the petroglyphs and frown when I spot one I don't recognize. "What's this?"

She comes to my side and stiffens. "That, we believe, is a dragon."

I laugh. "I guess even ancient people had wild imaginations."

She's quiet for a moment, but then says, "Yes, they did. Interestingly enough, dragons have been depicted across every continent throughout the ages in their books, maps, art, pottery, and textiles, but much like the phoenixes, there's never been any bones to prove their existence."

"Are you saying you think they might exist?" I ask, trying not to smile.

She shakes her head. "Of course not. Let's get back to what you'll be doing here. I want you to help me with something, and then I want to take you out and see if we can find a phoenix together."

I nod, trying to keep up with the conversation.

The doctor leads me back out of the room and to the covered cage. She glances back at me and says, "Are you as good with animals as your essays and resume suggested, or was any of that bullshit? I want to know before I put an animal's life in your hands."

I stiffen. "I'm that good." I'm not confident about many things, but I am about this.

She slowly pulls the blanket off the cage, and I gasp. For one second, it looks like a dead phoenix, but then I see its chest rise and fall, and I calm. It's lying on its side, and it's the most fragile-looking bird I've ever seen in my life. It's long and slender, especially its neck, and it's beautiful. Tiny, delicate feathers, red, orange, yellow, and black, cover its body. At the top of its head is a thin crest that has three larger feathers on the very tips of the crest itself.

"He's beautiful," I whisper.

"He really is," she says, and I can hear the pleasure in her voice. This is her life's work, and it shows. "We had to sedate him to check out his wing. He seemed to be injured, and we were worried he might become a meal to a predator."

I nod.

She picks up the cage again and uses another keycard to take us into a room that has two doors. Inside I see massive cages, like what you'd find in a zoo, lining the walls. My jaw drops, and it's like my feet move of their own accord as I go to one of the cages, drawn to the female phoenix in a way I've never been drawn to anything in my life.

I've never seen colors like hers in any bird. The top of her head is gray, but the color darkens as it moves down her body. Reddish-orange tips every single one of her feathers, a golden shimmery color that seems impossible to exist in nature. I've seen people wear peacock feathers as an accessory, but those colors have nothing on this exquisite bird. She's also smaller than the male phoenixes, by a lot. Everything about her is just… delicate.

The phoenix's gaze meets mine and she shifts closer on the other side of the glass, slowly moving down the branch until we're a foot from each other, which seems incredibly close given the size of her enclosure. "You're a beautiful thing," I tell her. "But that egg is pretty uncomfortable, huh?" It's no wonder the phoenix females are rare if they have to birth eggs that are nearly too big for their bodies to handle.

"How did you know she was gravid?"

I jump and spin around to Dr. Abigail, feeling embarrassed. "What?" I'd been so lost in the female phoenix. Even now the pull to her was overwhelming, almost like being in the presence of a large predator, but not. Being around her has that same power, but not that simmering sense of danger.

"How did you know she was with egg?" she repeats, as if I didn't know what gravid meant.

I shake my head. "I don't know, she just seemed uncomfortable. Like the egg inside of her is too big, and she just wants it out."

She stares at me. "That's actually what we've been worried about, that she's ready to release the egg, but can't."

I glance back at her and shiver. "And what's wrong with her wings?"

"Her wings?" Her tone has changed again to one I can't read.

"Yes." The phoenix moves even closer to me. "Something destroyed her wings, didn't it?" My stomach flips, and I swear I can feel the bird's rage and anger. Someone took away her ability to fly. But why?

"The male phoenixes actually do that to the females. It seems it's their way of preventing them from being able to fly away when the males wish to mate them."

Maybe we don't call things rape in the animal kingdom, but that's close enough. Plus, you know, the male's stupidity to force their mate to need them for survival also leaves their female open to predators. It's probably a huge part of the reason phoenixes are nearly extinct. "No wonder they don't want to mate with the asshole males."

The female opens her wings, and I can see the shredded remains that are her wings, and my heart aches. To take something so beautiful and destroy it is sickening. If I were a female phoenix, I'd let the whole species end too.

"That's why we keep them separate as much as possible."

"Or completely. Those assholes don't deserve her." I stiffen, remembering where I am, and tear my gaze away from the phoenix. "Sorry."

She tilts her head. "You're an interesting one, Samantha. Now, help me with this male."

The doctor sets out a tray of tools. We don gloves, and then she carefully removes the bird from his cage. She works carefully, lifting his wing. There's wire wrapped around it. "Hand me the pliers."

I do, and she has me hold the wing while she slowly cuts it away. She hands me the wire when she's done, then softly runs her hands along the wing.

"Is it broken?" I don't think it is, for some reason.

She shakes her head. "I don't think so, but we'll keep him for observation and do an x-ray if we see any signs of injury."

After checking over the rest of him, she uses her keycard to open a smaller, empty cage, and puts the male phoenix inside. While she does, I check over the wire, frowning. "This looks like a snare, like something a hunter would use. Is there any chance–?" Fuck, I probably shouldn't have said that. Implying that their security isn't good enough to keep poachers off sanctuary lands is a pretty big accusation.

Her dark gaze finds mine. "Actually, we're quite worried about that. We're concerned wealthy people are paying the nearby townsfolk to trap the phoenixes for money."

"And do what with them?" Now, I'm angry.

She shrugs. "Keep them for their own private zoos. Use their feathers for their clothing. We're not quite sure. But if we can't get to the bottom of it, we'll have to take all of them into the safety of captivity."

"Then, I guess we'll have to get to the bottom of it."

We stare at each other for a long minute, and then she laughs. "Come on, I have more to show you."

The rest of the day is a blur of amazing things, as the doctor shows me the sanctuary and teaches me how to use the laser chipper. I tag my first phoenix, and then she shows me how I can now see the phoenix on my app. She also explains that I can't see the others because I don't have the proper credentials, which I don't mind one bit.

We end the day with her complimenting me again and saying if I carry on the way I am going, I'll have a bright future at the institute. It puts a real spring in my step as I hurry back to campus, wondering if all my dreams are finally coming true.

I think this might be the most hopeful I've felt since my father died.