Chapter 11

ELEVEN

Aydan

It's morning and this time I got up early to avoid Sam. I ate the second they put out the food, then hid in the gym where I worked out so hard that, for the first time in forever, I'm actually painfully sore after a workout. But it's good for me. The pain. The workout. It distracted me, if only for a minute, from Sam.

I'm going to lose my fucking mind over this woman, and I don't know how to stop it. Last night, I kissed Sam, something I've thought about a thousand times before. I tasted her lips, stroked her tongue, and lost all my self-control. She was pressed against me. Every damn inch of her. And when she reached into my pants? I almost snapped. I almost fucked her right there and then.

But I controlled myself. I touched her back. Felt her nipples harden under my hands. Reached into that silky little fabric, touched her wet, soft body. I made her moan, made her say my name.

Damn it. I'm hard again. I got myself off in the shower last night, and again in the shower after my workout, but it's just not enough. I want Sam, and there's nothing I can do to stop it.

Maybe if we hadn't been interrupted, everything would have been different. Maybe if I'd slid into her tight body and filled her with my cum, there would be no doubt that she belonged to me. Instead, we were interrupted, and I knew at that moment that she was going to tell me this was all a mistake.

And it was going to break my heart.

I ran, like a fucking coward, but I can't keep running. I'm going to have to address this, since it's pretty damn obvious that I have feelings for her. Three solid paths have unfolded in front of me, and no matter what I do or don't do, I'll be stepping foot on one of them.

Path one is the easiest on paper. I tell her it was a drunken mistake and erase what I did. Except, then I'll be spending the rest of life beating to death any man who looks at her. Path two is that I tell her that I love her, and that I want to be with her. We date, marry, get a house in the mountains, and spit out as many babies as she wants. All the while, I fight my inner-demons not to become my father and break her the way he broke one bone after another of my mother's. Or, path three, I tell her I love her, and she doesn't feel the same way. Unable to be around her, I lose her forever.

Actually, all three paths could end in me losing her forever.

I'd rather lose my fucking arm than lose Sam. My gut says to go with the safest option, but I think the second she had her hand around my cock, the safe option went out the window. I know what I have to do. I need to tell her. I'm just terrified out of my mind.

The what-ifs are a real bitch.

I want to talk to Granger about it, but he was asleep when I got home, and then I knew he'd be having breakfast with her today, so I avoided them both. But, I'm sure as hell not going to talk to her before class this morning, so I guess I can catch him at lunch and go over what to say before tonight.

Adrenaline pumps through me, and I have to try to calm my racing heart. There are hours before I can talk to her. I have to try my best to behave normally until then. This isn't the time for adrenaline.

I reach the gate that leads out to where we're meeting Dr. Duncan and go through it, surprised when I find all the other students waiting, including Granger, Sam, and that fucking dirt bag Will. I focus away from the asshole after we exchange a dirty look and focus on my friends. They're talking. She's smiling, but her gaze meets mine and her smile freezes.

Damn it. She's uncomfortable around me. This is the last thing I want.

The temptation to stay away from them comes and goes in an instant. I want Sam closer to me, not to push her away, and if I go down this road, depending on what happens tonight, I might not be able to get back to the one I want. Basically, I don't want to show her, even for a minute, that there's something that can separate us. So, I jog up to them, my backpack and toolbelt bouncing as I do.

"Hey," I greet them, and Sam avoids my gaze.

"Morning," they both say.

My gaze runs over her. Sam is wearing a black tank-top, the kind that dips just a little low in front to show the slit between her breasts. It strains across her chest in the most delicious way, only slightly obscured by her tan jacket. She has on dark jeans that hug her thighs and ass, and her auburn curls are wild and loose about her shoulders. I'm pretty sure she doesn't have makeup on either because her freckles are visible, and her dark lashes frame her big green eyes the way they always do.

Sam is a beauty. Tall, strong, and built in a way that any man could appreciate. Which only makes the tightness in my pants even harder to ignore. What would it even be like to have her on my arm? As my woman?

Fuck, I'd be so damn proud.

"Is Dr. Duncan running late?" I know he wanted us to call him Henry, but I can't bring myself to do it.

"He must have had a late night," Sam says, and then blushes, probably remembering where we saw him last.

Granger is about to say something when the professor arrives through the gate. His beard and hair are a little tangled, and, if the wrinkles are any indication, he looks like he's wearing the same clothes that he was wearing last night. He marches past us, with a backpack that looks even heavier than it had the day before.

"Come on, no time to waste, we need to get down that shaft." He says nothing else, his tone harsh and commanding, so different from the way he spoke with us yesterday.

We all start walking. Will, the asshole, looks like he's nursing a headache, so it's easy for us to leave him behind. Hell, Fred looks hungover too. That's one thing about the three of us: we never get hangovers. It's something that I'm finding a more and more useful ability.

Moving at nearly a run, we make it to the shaft in half the time we did the last time. Maybe fifteen minutes, over uneven ground, and dangerous terrain. Normally, I might be a little annoyed at the professor's recklessness, but right now I'm enjoying working up a sweat. It's doing a decent job of distracting me from staring at Sam's ass every step up the mountain.

When we reach the plastic bins tied to trees just above the shaft, Dr. Duncan turns to us and says, "We've been getting some rather interesting readings. They've calmed since last night, but most of my team is sleeping after a long night." Something in his voice implies that part of him wants to be sleeping too and resents our class, and the other part of him wants to get right back down there. "Stay close and keep a lookout."

"For another earthquake?" Will calls from behind Fred.

Dr. Duncan smiles. "No, something else… Now, put your headlamps on."

We do, then start winding down the shaft. Dr. Duncan is in the lead, followed by Sam, then me, Granger, Fred, and finally, the asshole. No one speaks. The only sound is the falling water below and our panting. We reach the bottom in record time, and Dr. Duncan selects a place by the wall and begins to unpack his equipment.

"Shit!" Dr. Duncan calls, drawing my attention from the weird glowing crystals on the walls. "You, Aydan, did you see the plastic bins near the top of the shaft?"

I nod.

"I have a special seismograph in one of the bins. It's the smallest ever made, and the most accurate. Can you go back and get it for me?"

It's a little irritating to have to go back, but what else can I say? "Of course."

As I start heading back, I grab Granger's arm.

"I'll keep an eye on her," he promises.

She glances over at us, and our eyes catch. There's something in them that makes me want to go to her instead of leaving the shaft. I actually take a step toward her, debating it, feeling like it's more than time for me to tell her how I feel. Feeling like, if I don't tell her soon, I'll go out of my mind.

But I force myself to turn and start back up the path, knowing this isn't the kind of thing that can just be whispered to a woman in the middle of a class. By the way, I'm in love with you. I've always been in love with you. I couldn't give two shits about anything about my future except that it has you in it. Oh, and my home wasn't nearly as peachy as I've led you to believe, so you should know that you're signing on for a future with a man who has no idea how to be a partner or father. Her dad might have been a good example for me, but I can't fight genetics, nor can I forget what I saw at home.

Yeah, what woman wouldn't love the idea of being with a broken, pathetic excuse of a man whose own father didn't love him? Whose own father made it clear every time he put another bruise on his mom that it was his fault. A man who was in his teens before he grew a pair and fought back.

Memories claw their way into my mind as I climb my way back out of the shaft, fighting the rush of emotions that come along with those jagged thoughts. My dad had taken us on a "family trip" after I fought him. He'd stitched up his own cheek. He'd limped as he packed the car in the dark. And I stared on breathing hard with a broken rib, and a face so swollen I could barely see. We'd left for a month and only returned when we both looked somewhat normal.

He never commented on it again. Or touched either of us. But that didn't mean I hadn't lived in constant fear.

Granger knew about that trip, but I could never find it in me to tell Sam. I didn't want to know what she would think of a person who could watch their mom get beaten for years and do nothing about it. I didn't want her to know that I was capable of inflicting that kind of violence on another person.

But she'd have to know now. She'd have to know everything before she decided what to do with me. I couldn't offer her myself without being fully transparent about who I am.

It takes me twenty minutes of brisk walking to make it back to the top of the shaft. Twenty minutes of doing nothing but thinking of Sam. I open the lid on the plastic bin and stare up in shock as birds explode from the trees around me. Dropping the lid, I reach for my toolbelt, wrapping a hand around the dagger hilt. I sense a predator or danger, but don't see anything.

And then I'm thrown.

I go rolling down the mountainside, along with boulders and debris. My hands are scraping and scrambling for purchase as the world shakes with the force of an earthquake unlike anything I've felt before.

My body smashes into a tree, and I can't breathe for a long minute before I'm falling again. My hands are being torn to shreds as I try to find something to grab onto. Something to slow my fall.

Sam. Granger. They're in that shaft. What the hell will happen to them down there? I have to get to them. I have to stop falling. I have to…

My head strikes something hard , and the world goes dark.