Chapter Three

Lisa

Whoever said love is a beautiful thing did not know the chaos it would bring to my life.

Sasha was in fact, not kidnapped. No, she knew the man she was dating was a criminal, and according to her, she’s never experienced as much happiness as she feels with him. She’s in love, she tells me. She feels seen by him in ways no one has ever in her entire life.

Am I surprised that yet again I mean nothing to another person?

It’s selfish, I know, to think of myself in this situation. My cousin has found love, something she hasn’t really have in her life, and I should be happy for her . . .

So, what are all these dark emotions?

The most messed up part is that if our positions were reversed, Sasha would be over the moon for me. She would offer to celebrate my new love, but that’s because she’s never felt abandoned.

Pressured to succeed, sure. Lonely, sure. But never abandoned to the point she felt unloved.

But I have. And now it’s happening again.

The only person I really consider family will move on with her life—as she should—and I will be alone. Again. As much as it hurts, I recognize that it’s not her fault that she found love.

I’m happy for her.

I will be. I’ll try my hardest to be.

“Lisa, are you still there?”

“Yeah,” I whisper, turning my back to the giant man watching me intensely. “I’m still here.”

“I’m sorry I missed your call, my phone died. And I’m sorry that I wasn’t there when you got home. I wasn’t expecting you until later. Riot and I are actually at the apartment now, we must have just missed you. I wanted to tell you everything in person and introduce you two. I knew if I told you what was happening while you were on your trip, you’d cut it short. You’ve been dying to meet that writer you admire for so long, I couldn’t ruin it for you. Are you okay? You must have been so worried. How did you know to go to the clubhouse anyway?”

Oh I’m fine, now that the panic of thinking the only person I care about was kidnapped by a notorious criminal gang is over. “I called Danny. He told me where you were. I thought you might have been kidnapped.”

“Oh my God! You must have been so scared. But you went to the clubhouse alone, even though you thought I was in danger? Jesus, Lisa. Anything could have happened to you! You’re lucky I am dating a member of the Steel Order and not a group that might have actually hurt you. You’re with Shadow now, right?” Is that what this giant is called? Is it because of his dark eyes and midnight-black hair? “Lisa?”

“You mean the tall, dark guy who looks like he could lift a couple of buildings right off their foundations?”

She chuckles, the sound light and airy. “That’s him alright. They’re all built like that though.” Her voice is much softer, almost affectionate when she speaks next. “Don’t be scared of them, Lisa. They’re good men. Scrap everything you think you know about them and get to know them for who they really are.”

“You mean they don’t eat innocent girls for dinner?”

“Of course not.” She laughs. “I can’t wait to see you, but we can’t head back on Riot’s motorcycle until the storm passes. They’re saying on the news that a couple of the roads leading out of the city might flood. I don’t think it would be a good idea for you to try to get a ride back in this either. Are you okay waiting at the clubhouse?”

“It’s fine. I’ll see you whenever you get here.” After that, our conversation shifts to my trip and everything I did, and while she keeps up with me, I can tell she’s distracted, perhaps in a hurry to get back to what she was doing before we called.

“I’ll let you go and catch you up on everything when we’re both back in our apartment.”

“Oh, about that . . .”

I sense hesitation in her voice, and I already know what she’s going to say. “You’re not staying at the apartment, are you?”

“Well, Riot asked me to move in with him, but I told him I would have to talk to you about it first. Will you be upset if I move out? Because if so, then I will absolutely stay. What am I saying? Of course, I can’t just leave you alone like that—”

“No,” I say quickly, swallowing the lump in my throat and forcing excitement I don’t feel into my tone. “I don’t mind. Y-you should move in with him if you’re ready.”

“You’re the best Lisa. I bet you’ll love finally having the whole place to yourself, no distractions from me to interrupt your writing.”

The rest of the call is mostly one-sided with her trying to hype me up with all the fun things I can do all alone in our apartment. My life revolves around writing and reading scary stories, I doubt there is anything fun I can do with all that space to myself.

“Have all your doubts been assuaged now?” A deep rough voice asks from behind me once I end the call, sending a storm of heat licking up my body in a way I’ve never felt before.

“Yes,” I tell him, handing back his phone. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Although we could have done this way before you tricked me into coming in here.”

“Here we go again,” the man says, folding his arms over his chest, and I can’t help but trail my gaze over his wet t-shirt sticking to his body, highlighting his muscled frame so perfectly.

I shake my head in a futile attempt to right my thoughts. I need to focus on anything but this intoxicating man standing so close to me I can smell his aftershave and his hot, musky scent.

Great, I am attracted to the man. That’s all I need right now. I just learned that I’m being abandoned once again, then I find myself attracted to a man who tricked me into coming here. Which raises the question . . . “Why did you bring me here when you could have easily gotten rid of me at the gate?”

The man stares blankly at me, his dark eyes brimming with something akin to desire. “You were so convinced that we were monsters, and I thought I would try and change your mind.”

“Why does it matter what I think?”

“It doesn’t,” he says, and I roll my eyes. “Let’s just say I was bored, and you, Pink, prove to be very entertaining.”

I stare at him, really stare at him, and I entertain the thought that maybe this—him—is what I need right now. I just lost the only person I had left in my life, and however dramatic that sounds even to my own ears, it’s the truth.

How typical of you, Lisa, to emotionally latch on to the closest person. My heart clenches painfully at the unbidden thought.

A wave of loneliness comes crashing down on me like a bolder, and I drop my gaze from Shadow. I cannot afford to care about someone else, at least not enough to grow attached to them. Entertaining my attraction to this man when I am feeling so vulnerable is a risk I can’t take. I cannot latch on to someone else only for them to leave me. Because everyone does.

“Interesting,” Shadow says, and I look up to find his dark eyes locked on me.

Ignore it. Don’t ask him.

“What’s interesting?” I ask despite my better judgment.

“You, Pink,” he says, approaching me, and I back up a step. “Your reaction is not what I was expecting after finding out that your cousin is safe. Did you want her to be in trouble?”

“What!” I splutter, my eyes blinking wildly at the man. “W-what are you saying?”

“Let’s just say I was expecting to read relief in your eyes when you heard your cousin is safe and sound, so why do you seem almost upset?” I gasp when my back connects with the wall, but he doesn’t stop approaching me.

“Y-you’re wrong. I’m not upset. Sasha is safe, and I’m happy—”

“Now who’s lying?”

“I’m not,” I say stubbornly, but my heart is hammering from just how close he is. Christ, I can smell his strong masculine scent and the rain in his hair. This close, I can see the dark irises, and they are as scary as they are intriguing.

“Or maybe you’re jealous.”

My eyes narrow on Shadow. “I’m not jealous!”

I am hurt that she kept her new love from me when we have always shared everything with each other in the past. I am also a little scared that I’ll have no one in my life anymore, but never jealous.

“It makes sense that you’d be jealous. Your cousin just found love and is moving on with her life, but you, little girl . . .”

“Don’t call me that,” I hiss, shoving away from the wall and toward him, glaring at him, but it has no effect on him, and that only works to rile me up. “I am not jealous of Sasha, okay? She is my best friend, and I, more than anyone else, know just how much she deserves to be loved. She is kind and sweet and so darn innocent that she deserves someone who’ll make her happy.”

My breathing is ragged by the time I am done talking, and while I expect there to be a mocking expression on the stranger’s face, I see none of that. “So, tell me, Pink, why don’t you look happy?”

“Because her happiness comes at the cost of mine.” I sniff, running out of steam. “I . . . I know it sounds selfish, but I am losing the one person who cares about me, and when she finally moves out, I’ll go back to being lonely. I don’t have any real friends, and no one in my family cares to hear from me unless it’s a holiday of some sort. Even then, they’re always busy with one thing or another. Sasha was the only one who stuck around, and now, I’m losing her too.”

“Lisa—”

“I know what you are thinking, but I promise you that I am not cruel enough to sabotage her relationship. I would never do anything to hurt my best friend, and I will not get in the way of her happiness. When I showed up here, I was genuinely concerned.”

“I believe you.” Shadow lifts a hand to my left cheek, brushing his thumb over my skin, and I hate just how much my body trembles at the simple touch. His thumb is rough, calloused, and warm on my skin, and against my better judgment, I lean into it like a touch-starved kitten.

Stop it, Lisa. Have a shred of dignity!

“How can someone as pretty and perfect as you be lonely?”

My eyes flutter closed from the mix of his deep, warm voice and gentle touch. Christ, it feels so good. Maybe I am a touched starved. Other than the trip to Dallas, I never go out much or interact with people, and now, this man is lighting a fire inside of me I’ve never felt before.

Don’t get attached, Lisa. You can’t keep him. It’ll only hurt worse when he inevitably leaves you too.

I should listen to the little voice at the back of my head warning me away from this man, but for the life of me, I can’t focus on it. When I finally leave this place, I will probably look back on this moment and cringe at my needy behavior, perhaps hate myself a little for being so weak in front of a man I just met, but right now, I can’t think about that. My heart hurts too much to even think about rejecting his advances.

I can’t have forever, but I can have tonight. Right? I can have at least that much.

“Do you want to know what I think?” he whispers, and I nod, nuzzling his hand. “I think you rely too much on others for your happiness. Starting tomorrow, you should take care of yourself first.”

“Why do I have to start tomorrow?”

I suck in a sharp breath, and my eyes shoot open when he leans down until our foreheads are touching. “Because today, my stubborn pink pixie, I’m responsible for your happiness.” His warm breath blows softly over my lips. “I promise to make you very happy.”

A shudder courses through my body when he leans down and kisses my mouth softly, simply a brush of skin, but it’s so powerful that it punches into my gut with a vengeance, causing my knees to buckle.

It’s my first kiss.

And I am letting this stranger—Shadow—take it, but sweet baby Jesus, I want him to take more than just a kiss.

My body is burning with the need for him. For more.

“Shadow,” I whisper, the name slipping out on a sigh, blocking out all the voices telling me that I should stop while I still can, but then he wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me flush against him. And I realize that I stand no chance against this man.

“You’re so fucking beautiful, Pink,” he says deeply, his lips brushing softly over mine, but he doesn’t kiss me, not really. His lips twitch when I make a frustrated sound, but he still doesn’t give in. “From your beautiful blue eyes to your perfect lips, down to the rest of you . . . Everything about you makes me want to shove you against the wall, tear off your little skirt, and rut you so hard, they’ll hear you from the city.”

“Oh!”

My breaths grow shallow at his words and my knees weak, forcing me to grab onto his broad shoulders before I plummet to the floor. His body is rugged and warm under the wet t-shirt, sending another shiver of heat down my body.

“I’ll kiss that stubborn mouth until you’re practically begging for my cock, and when I give into your cries, I’ll bring you pleasure, and then this biker monster will watch you come apart, but first . . .”

His lips brush the spot under my ear, and I buck against him from the pleasure that single spot sends shooting through me. Christ, I’ve never felt anything like this before. Of course, I have pleasured myself alone in my bedroom, but I had no idea what I was doing.

Or that there was so much more pleasure to experience.

“First?” I whisper, my voice coming out raspy.

“First . . . I need to know that you want this too.”

I drag my trembling fingers over his broad shoulders, down his robust chest, and to his defined stomach, sucking in a sharp breath when his muscles move under my fingers. This man has barely touched me, and yet, the spot between my legs is pulsing with need. It is as scary as it is exciting, and I want to explore these feelings. Later, when I don’t want to climb this man like a tree, I’ll look back to this moment and question the wisdom of wanting a stranger, but right now . . . I do. His touch promises to give me a reprieve from the week I’ve had.

“I want this.”

Tomorrow, I will start relying on myself for happiness, but until then, I’ll hand those reins to this stranger with eyes so dark, they threaten to suck me into their abyss. For the first time in my life, I want to fall without care and revel in the uncertainty of this moment.

It’s only fair that I allow myself such a reprieve.