Chapter 44

Joanna had done a fantastic job with the Batman cake. It was a small round cake frosted with yellow fondant. On the top was the Bat signal, and she'd written Cody's name on the side. Then she'd added small Batman and Robin action figures that looked like they were climbing up the side.

Zach and I decided to have a small party for Cody at our apartment and invite my sister, her kids, and Marissa and her family. We also invited my parents since they were the only grandparent figures Cody was likely to have. They were over the moon about it. My mother had taken to Cody just like she had to my sister's children. And, of course, Albert would be there. Cody had taken a liking to him, especially since he could sing.

I texted Zach when I was on my way upstairs so he could keep Cody occupied while I hid the cake in the refrigerator. I'd just gotten the cake in and the door shut when he came running out waving his Batman action figure. "Miguel! I saw Daddy today!"

"You did? That's great. Did you like seeing your daddy?"

Cody nodded vehemently. "He's nice. He has lots of tattoos. More than Uncle Zach."

"Wow. Did you show him your pictures?"

"Yes. He was sad about Mommy."

"Well, guess what?" I said. "Diego and Emma are going to be here for your birthday."

He started jumping up and down. "Yay!"

Zach picked him up. "Let's get you cleaned up and ready for your party. Then you can watch a movie." He kissed my cheek. "Thank you."

I ordered pizza and got out the Batman paper plates, cups, and napkins I'd gotten at the party store. I had beer and wine for the adults and juice boxes for the kids. I stood and laughed at myself. Who would have figured I'd be so domestic? I just hoped it would be a happy memory for Cody to hold on to amid all the sadness.

Cody was vibrating with excitement by the time the first guests arrived. Pretty soon, the kids were gathered around the television watching Moana because Cody was being nice to Emma. The adults were hanging out in the kitchen with their frosty adult beverages, talking quietly and enjoying the calm before the storm.

Cody loved his cake and was polite when he opened his presents. Everything was great until he asked, "Did Mommy make my cake?"

I looked over at Zach, who closed his eyes and let out a soft sigh. "No, Cody. She can't make your cakes for you."

His bottom lip trembled and tears welled up in his eyes. "I want Mommy to make my cake."

Zach picked him up and held him close. "I know you do. I do too. I miss Mommy very much."

He arched his back, trying to pull away from Zach. "No! I want Mommy to make my cake! I want Mommy to make my cake!"

Zach took Cody into our bedroom while the adults stood around, trying not to cry in front of the rest of the children. We could all hear Cody's screams and sobs, even through the closed bedroom door.

Isabella pulled me aside. "Are you bringing him to the wake tomorrow?"

I nodded. "For a little while. We hired his babysitter to come, and she's going to take him outside if it gets to be too much for him."

"Are you sure it's a good idea to bring him?" she asked.

"We think it will be okay," I replied. "It's a closed casket because we agreed it was too morbid and would only confuse Cody. He picked some of the pictures we're using in the room, so I think he'll want to see them."

She nodded. "Okay. I'll be there tomorrow too. If you need it, I can bring him back here to play with Diego."

I kissed her cheek. "That's so sweet of you. Thank you."

The adults helped me clean up while the kids watched another movie. Zach and Cody hadn't come back by the time everyone left. I locked the door and turned out all the lights. Our bedroom light was still on, and I slowly opened the door and stood in the doorway, taking in the scene before me.

Zach was asleep with his arms curled protectively around his nephew. The thumb of one of Cody's hands was in his mouth while the other tightly clutched the fabric of Zach's Henley. The framed picture of Allie lay beside Cody on the bed.

My heart fluttered and swelled. Realization hit me like a bolt of lightning. I loved Zach. I was in love with Zach. All my talk of wanting to keep him forever—I almost laughed out loud. Did they give awards for the most oblivious idiot?

If I were being honest with myself, I'd been in love with Zach almost from the beginning. His sweet nature had wrapped itself around my heart from the moment he reached out to comfort me. Warmth filled me and a feeling of peace came over me. I was finally where I belonged.

I went over to Zach's sleeping form and kissed his cheek. He drew in a breath and his eyes fluttered open. He turned his head toward me and smiled sleepily. "Hey," he croaked. "What time is it?"

"Almost nine," I answered. "Everyone's gone."

He rubbed his face. "Shit. I'm sorry. I just couldn't get Cody to calm down."

I shook my head. "It's fine. Everyone understood. Cody's going to have a rough go of it for a very long time."

He gently pulled his shirt out of Cody's grip. "I should at least get him into pajamas."

"Let him sleep," I whispered. "You already took his shoes off, so he's fine. If he wakes up later, we can put him in pajamas."

"Okay." He stretched and eased himself off the bed so he wouldn't wake Cody.

I put my arms around him and held him close. "This is nice. How about if we get you some pajamas and get you in the shower? I can even join you."

He gave me a slow, sensual kiss. "I like that idea a lot."

I got us both pajamas and led him into the bathroom. I got the shower running while he undressed. I closed the bathroom door and joined him in the shower shortly afterward. He immediately dragged me into a kiss that turned scorching hot in seconds. He cupped my bare ass and pulled me close so our hard cocks were wedged between us. I grabbed the conditioner from the shelf, poured a liberal amount in my hand, and wrapped it around our rigid dicks. Zach did the same, and we groaned at the pleasure the friction brought us.

Our mouths met again, and our tongues tangled as we thrust into our fists. It didn't take long for my orgasm to build. Spine-tingling pressure built in my balls and spread outward. I moaned into Zach's mouth. "That's so good."

His hand slid over my ass until his fingers teased open my crease. He slipped the tip of one finger into my hole, and that was all it took. My cock thickened and pulsed, shooting cum over our hands. Zach followed close behind, his moans of pleasure filling the small room.

We stood under the warm spray, foreheads touching, just catching our breath and rinsing the cum off our bodies. "That was incredible," Zach said.

"Definitely," I replied.

He wrapped his arms around me. "I've missed that. I've missed touching you. I feel like we're always apart doing other things."

I grabbed the body wash and poured some into my hand. I lathered up and ran my soap-slicked hands over his chest. "I miss you too. But this will pass. Things will go back to some semblance of normal. Right now, we just have to hang on. We have each other, and we have our big, extended family. We will get through this."

I washed the rest of his body, except his hair—I couldn't reach it—and he did the same for me. We stayed in the shower until the water started to cool, then got out and dried each other off. We got into our pajamas and decided to cuddle on the couch to take advantage of the quiet before everything was crazy again.

I snuggled into him until I wriggled my way onto his lap. He chuckled and kissed my nose. "Hey," he said affectionately.

I sighed and rested my head against his chest. "Hey." After a long pause, I leaned back so I could look into his eyes. "I figured something out today."

"What's that?" he asked.

"I love you."

I watched myriad expressions cross his face. His eyes got shiny, and his lips trembled. "You do?"

Tears came to my own eyes. "Yeah, I do."

A single tear slid down his cheek. "I love you too. So much."

A feeling of contentment settled over me as I sat in the circle of his arms, protected by his love. Whatever we had to face, we would do it together.