Chapter Seven

Axel

Standing out on my suite's oversized balcony, my body is still tingling from the private massage I had earlier. The masseuse's skilled hands have helped me unwind and I'm feeling relaxed. I spent the afternoon curled up on the couch, watching movies and letting my mind drift away from the pressures of my life. The thought of extending this holiday beyond the cruise is tempting—just to be somewhere I can truly escape and be myself without the weight of my responsibilities.

A gentle sea breeze caresses my face, as the sun descends towards the horizon. I take a deep breath, inhaling the salty air, when my phone buzzes on the table behind me.

It's an unknown number and I'm tempted to ignore it, but when it continues to ring, something compels me to answer. When I find out it's Rick, I'm immediately on alert. Fuck, I hope he's doing okay in rehab.

"Hey, Rick," I say cautiously.

"Axel, you've got to get me out of here." His voice trembles then raises. "You're off on some fancy cruise, and I'm stuck in this hellhole!"

Guilt gnaws at me. It's true; I'm enjoying the luxuries of this trip while he's struggling to overcome his demons. But we both know he needs professional help.

"Rick, you know I'm only trying to do what's best for you. The clinic is the best place for you right now."

"Easy for you to say when you have everything. It's all your fault." He hiccups. I can practically see the tears streaming down his face.

My heart aches for him. He's had a rough go of it, and I feel like I'm abandoning him. When I left home to pursue my music career, I never imagined I'd be leaving him so vulnerable or the path he'd eventually take.

"I know you haven't had it easy. Mum wasn't exactly a role model, was she?" Dad buggered off when I was born, and we have no idea who Rick's father is. Mum was… well, she was a disaster.

"Tell me about it," Rick says, his voice softening. "She was high more often than not."

"She was," I agree, feeling a familiar anger rising up within me. Fuck, it makes my skin crawl thinking of how she'd left Rick to fend for himself, how he'd bombed out of school and then started down the same route she was on. It's no wonder he has abandonment issues. "I came and got you as soon as I found out. You know that, right?"

"Of course I do." He sighs. "But it's still hard, you know? I'm no fucking better than her."

"Rick, listen to me. You're not like her. You've made mistakes, sure, but you're trying to fix them. That's more than our parents ever did."

"Maybe," he admits, his voice small and uncertain. "But sometimes it feels like I'm destined to follow in her footsteps."

"That's bullshit and you know it. Your life is what you make it, little bro," I tell him firmly. "You're the only one who can decide your future, but you can't keep running from your problems. Listen, Rick. I know it's hard, but you need to stay in rehab. You can't keep using, mate. Alcohol and weed now, but who knows where it could lead? It's going to kill you. Just stay there a little longer, please."

There's a long pause on the other end of the line, and I hold my breath, waiting for Rick's response.

Finally, he speaks. "I know you're right, Axe. I just…I don't know if I can do it."

I grip the phone tightly, melting at his use of my nickname. "You can, Rick. I believe in you. And I'll be here for you every step of the way."

There's another pause, and then Rick's voice comes through the line. "Okay. I'll stay. For now."

I let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you. I know it's not easy, but you're doing the right thing."

We say our goodbyes and end the call.

I take a deep breath and head inside the suite. I know Rick needs the help of professionals, but it's hard not to feel like I'm letting him down, even from miles away.

Ipromised Wren I'd join them for dinner tonight. I have to make up for leaving the meet-and-greet earlier than planned and they want me to be seen in public. Like providing proof I'm on this cruise. Dinner's at one of the intimate and exclusive restaurants, so I'm not overly worried about the crowds but I'm expected to show my face. I guess I couldn't get away with hiding in my suite the entire time.

I head upstairs to the mezzanine bedroom. After a quick shower, I pull out a pair of black pants, a tight-fitting black shirt, and a black blazer with satin trim. I change into the clothes that transform me into my alter ego—the confident and unapologetic Axel Zelman the world knows and loves—well used to love, anyway.

Standing before the mirror, I study the man staring back at me. My dark hair, usually tied back, now cascades down to my shoulders, framing my face. Eye-liner ensures my eyes pop. The clothes hug my body, accentuating in all the right places. I roll my cuffs then strap on a leather wristband and push a couple of chunky rings onto my fingers. For a moment, I feel like I can take on the world.

"All right. You've got this," I say to myself before turning and heading back downstairs where I fire off a text to Brian that I'm leaving and where I'm headed. Finally I grab my cruise card and head out.

As I stride down the opulent hallway of this private area of the ship, my boots sinking into the lush carpet, I can't shake the lingering anxiety from my conversation with Rick. Then I turn the corner and approach the lift foyer, catching sight of a familiar figure waiting by the elevators. Immediately my mood lifts.

A moment of connection sparks between us. Kyle's eyes widen slightly then he quickly looks away. But then he looks back and our eyes meet again. I see the moment he recognises me.

"Axel?"

I step forward. "Kyle. How're you doing?"

"I'm good." He looks me up and down. "Wow."

"Ah, yeah. This is my alter ego. Zelman, in the flesh."

"You look…different."

"One of the aspects of the job." I chuckle, running a hand through my hair, feeling unexpectedly nervous. I can't help wondering what he thinks of my appearance—the makeup, the jewellery, the rolled sleeves and low neckline of my shirt exposing my tattoos…

"Job… right… yeah." Kyle nods, his hands disappearing into the pockets of his chinos. "Did you enjoy that mystery book you borrowed? Have you had a chance to start it?" he asks, changing the subject.

I'm immediately transported back to the library where we shared a few moments, and warm that he remembers our conversation. "Yeah, actually, I did. It was a nice escape from reality for a while."

"Books have a way of doing that, don't they?" he says softly, his gaze locked on mine.

"Definitely." I smile back. "And are you now an expert on the customs of the South Pacific?"

"Getting there." He laughs and his eyes light up.

Then the elevator arrives with a soft ding, and a loud group of people pile out. We step apart at the intrusion. They pass by without even acknowledging us, and I hold the lift door open.

"See you round, Axel," Kyle says, still rooted to the spot he was standing.

"You're not coming?"

He shakes his head and points to the ceiling. "Up for me."

"Oh, okay then. Well, have a good night," I say, with a sense of disappointment.

"You too," he says. "Catch you later."

It's only an expression but I respond. "Looking forward to it." Because I am—I'm looking forward to the next time we see each other and I have no doubt it'll happen because I'll make sure it does.

Stepping into the elevator, I watch as Kyle remains in the foyer, waiting for one going the opposite direction. The doors begin to close, and our eyes lock one last time before they shut completely.

I lean against the back wall. As the elevator descends, I close my eyes. In my mind I can see Kyle's smiling face, and the way his eyes sparkled when he looked at me. Despite our obvious differences, there's an undeniable connection blooming between us.

This trip is slowly looking up. I haven't been interested in anyone for over a year—too focused on my own problems and dealing with therapy—so it's refreshing to find myself attracted to Kyle. Not just physically, either. He's easy to talk to and doesn't just want to ask me questions about my career or wrangle an invite to a party. He's like a breath of fresh air, and my head and heart are both responding.

As I exit the elevator and make my way to the restaurant, I'm determined to get the most out of this cruise. I hate the idea of the pool party—the whole party part makes me shudder. However, I'm not going to let my anxiety get the best of me. I'm going to give my performances everything I've got. I used to love playing in front of a live audience and I know the energy will be electrifying.

With a smile plastered on my face, I'm shown to the table where Wren is waiting, and greet them with as much enthusiasm as I can muster.

"Hey, Wren, I hope you haven't been waiting long."

They smile back at me indicating an empty glass on the table. "Long enough to down one of these. I'm just glad you could make it. Are you ready to talk about the rest of your appearances on the cruise?"

I nod, taking a seat across from them. "Absolutely. Let's do this."