Chapter Eighteen

Axel

"Ha, take that!" Rick shouts as his avatar blasts mine to pieces on the giant flatscreen TV.

He grins at me, his eyes sparkling with mischief just like when he was a kid. Hell, he's not much more than a kid now, having turned nineteen recently.

I chuckle and toss the PlayStation controller aside. "Okay, you got me. I'm out of practice."

"Excuses, excuses." He smirks and runs a hand through his messy hair. He needs a cut, but I have to admit he looks good—healthier and happier than he has in a long time. He's still seeing a therapist, but the stint at the clinic seems to have done him some good.

I've been home for three weeks now, and it's been a great day enjoying each other's company. It feels like old times, before my music career took off and everything got so complicated. I'm glad to have this time with Rick, especially now he's getting back on his feet.

Suddenly, Rick sighs and sets his controller down, his expression turning serious. "Axe… I never really thanked you. You know, for taking the fall for me with that weed in your car. I know it messed up your reputation pretty bad. I'm sorry, man."

It was a mess, no doubt about it. "Hey, you came good in the end. It took guts for you to own up to everything."

Rick clears his throat, eyes downcast. "Still, I shouldn't have put you in that position. I can't believe you stood by me when I'm such a fuckup."

"Everyone deserves support when they screw up. You know that, right?"

He shrugs.

"Hey, it's the truth. We all make mistakes. What matters is how we learn from them and move forward. I'm just glad you're getting the help you need now."

Rick looks up and meets my eyes, nodding. "Yeah, therapy's been helping a lot. It's not easy, but I'm trying, you know? I don't want to let you down again."

"You could never let me down," I assure him, my voice firm. "I'm proud of you for facing your demons head-on. It takes a lot of courage to do what you're doing. You're my little brother, Ricky. I'll always have your back, no matter what. I love you."

Rick's eyes look a little misty as he pulls me into a tight hug. Maybe because I used the nickname he probably hasn't heard for years. "Love you too, bro. I don't know what I'd do without you."

As we separate, I clap a hand on his shoulder and look him straight in the eye. "We're family. Nothing's gonna change that. We'll get through anything together, you hear me?"

Rick nods, a glimmer of his old cocky smile returning. "Loud and clear. The Zelman brothers against the world."

We settle back into the game, Rick kicking my butt again, but I love every minute of the banter and the teasing. It's not until I get a text from Nigel that the mood changes again.

"What's he want?" Rick asks as I look at my phone.

"Just some questions about the tour being planned for early next year."

Rick's face drops. "Tour?"

"I don't have to deal with it now," I say, hating that my work has interrupted our fun afternoon.

Rick slumps in his seat, controller loose on his lap.

"What's wrong?"

He turns to me, a flicker of uncertainty in his eyes. "The tour… do you have to… I mean, with everything that's happened…"

It dawns on me that maybe he's worried about being left behind when I head overseas for a few months. "You could come?" Even as I say the words I know it's a crap idea. The last thing Rick needs is to be dragged around the world, living out of a suitcase, exposed to fuck knows what, and not moving forward with his own life. "Or I could cancel," I say.

He shakes his head. "You can't do that for me."

"I can…" I pause, Kyle's words echoing in my mind. I can control my own destiny and make choices that align with what I truly want. The thought of being back on the road, facing those massive crowds again… it sends a shiver down my spine. Maybe it's time for a change. "You know what, Ricky? I'm not so sure about the tour anymore. I think… I think it might be time for me to switch things up a bit. Focus on what really makes me happy."

He raises an eyebrow, curiosity in his gaze. "Oh yeah? What did you have in mind?"

I lean back, a slow smile spreading across my face as the pieces start to fall into place. "I'm not entirely sure yet, but I've got some ideas. All I know is, I want to make music on my own terms, in a way that feels authentic to who I am."

Rick grins, and I see a glimmer of excitement in his eyes. "That sounds awesome, Axe. You know I'll support you, no matter what you decide."

"I know you will, Ricky. That means the world to me." I reach out and ruffle his hair affectionately. Normally he'd duck and bitch at the action, but he simply smiles.

I excuse myself to the kitchen under the pretense of grabbing some drinks and snacks, but my real intention is to make an important call. I need to strike while the iron's hot. With a deep breath to steady my nerves, I dial Nigel's number. I stare out the window at the view of Sydney Harbour as I wait for him to answer, sail boats and ferries gliding past on the sparkling water.

He picks up on the fourth ring. "Axel! What's up, mate? Everything alright?"

"Yeah, everything's fine," I say. "Listen, Nige, I've been doing some thinking. About the tour, about my career, about… about everything, really."

There's a pause on the other end of the line. I can almost hear him thinking. "Okkaay," he says slowly. "What's on your mind?"

I take another deep breath, steeling myself. "I want to cancel the tour."

"What?" Nigel sputters, clearly caught off guard. "Axel, you can't be serious. We've been planning this for months. Everything is at the last stages—"

"I know, I know, but nothing's finalised," I cut in, rubbing a hand over my face. "And I'm sorry for the short notice, but I need to make some changes. I want to focus on sharing my music in a different way. More intimate venues, smaller crowds. Something that aligns with who I am and what I want to put out into the world."

Nigel sighs heavily. "Axel, I get where you're coming from, but this is going to hurt the bottom line. We're talking about a lot of money here."

I close my eyes, Kyle's thoughts echoing in my mind.

You were born for this sort of performance. Such an amazing way to share your music with the world.

"I understand that, Nige. But life's about more than money. Sometimes, you have to prioritise other things. Like happiness, and authenticity, and doing what feels right in your heart."

"Are you sure you aren't rushing the decision? You've had a lot on your plate with everything going on. Maybe just take a bit of time," he says.

"I don't need any time," I reply.

There's another long pause, and for a moment, I worry he might try to talk me out of it. But then he chuckles softly, a note of resignation in his voice. "You always were a stubborn bastard, Zelman. Alright, if this is what you really want, we'll make it happen. But you owe me a drink for the headache this is going to cause."

I grin, relief flooding through me. "You got it, mate. Thanks for understanding."

We say our goodbyes and I hang up, feeling lighter than I have in ages. In all honesty I know he'll give it at least one more chance to try to change my mind next week when we meet face to face, but fuck it, I'm going to stick to my guns.

I grab a couple of Cokes from the fridge and a bag of chips from the pantry, then head back out to the living room.

Rick looks up as I enter. "Everything okay? You were gone a while."

I hand him a drink and drop down beside him on the couch, tearing open the bag of chips. "Everything's great actually. I just got off the phone with Nigel."

"Oh yeah?" Rick takes a swig of his Coke. "What did he have to say?"

"I told him I want to cancel the tour. That I'm ready to start making some changes in my career."

Rick's eyes widen. "No shit, really?"

I nod, feeling a swell of excitement in my chest. "It feels right, like it's time for me to start doing things on my own terms."

Rick clinks his can against mine, pride shining in his eyes. "And you think I'm the one with guts."

I shrug, but I can't keep the smile off my face. "I couldn't do it without you, you know. Having you in my corner means everything."

His expression softens, and he reaches out to squeeze my shoulder. "I'll always be in your corner, Axel. No matter what."

"Thanks."

We sit in comfortable silence for a moment, sipping Cokes and munching on chips. Then Rick clears his throat. "You know, sometimes I wish I had a clearer idea of what I want to do with my life. Like you do with your music."

"Hey, you'll figure it out, Ricky. You've got so smart and have so much passion, it's only a matter of time until you find your thing."

Rick smiles, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes. "I hope so. I just feel kind of… lost, sometimes. Like I'm drifting without a purpose."

I hold his gaze. "Listen to me, Rick. You're not lost. You're on a journey, just like the rest of us, and I have no doubt you'll find your way."

The whole conversation reminds me of Kyle's advice. Maybe Rick needs space to clear his head—some thinking room. He's been cooped up in the city, dealing with the fallout from his mistakes and living with the pressure of all the publicity.

The idea hits me like a lightning bolt. I'm going to take him away for a break while we sort out next steps together. And then, a daring thought takes hold. What if we took a trip to the area Kyle loves so much?

The thought sets my heart racing. It would mean seeing Kyle again, sooner than I dared to hope. The prospect of surprising him, of showing up at his doorstep unannounced and sweeping him off his feet, fills me with a thrill of excitement and nervousness. God, how would Kyle feel about it?

I turn to Rick, barely able to contain my grin. "Hey, I just had a crazy idea. What would you say to taking a road trip?"

Rick raises an eyebrow. "A trip? Where to?"

"To Kyle's farm. I think it could be good for both of us. A chance to get away from the city, clear our heads, and maybe even have a little adventure."

"Adventure, huh?" Rick chuckles. "But seriously, you know what? That actually sounds fun. I'm in."

I clap him on the shoulder, feeling a rush of excitement. I'm taking control and making a bold move towards the future I want.

"Great. We'll leave first thing in the morning."