ONE

"Excuse me, bitch. I see you looking at your phone. Again." Quinn glares at me over their eggs benedict and I turn my phone back over with a guilty smile.

"Sorry. I know. It's just...why do people keep sharing that post with me like I haven't already seen it a hundred times?" My lip quivers and I take a hasty sip of mimosa to try to cover it up.

I've been trying unsuccessfully all morning not to look at the picture of my ex-boyfriend Dustin cozying up to a very pretty, very slim, very blonde woman who looks like she'd like to eat him. She looks strangely familiar, but I can't place her. Probably just my imagination.

Of course, I'm not fooling Quinn at all. They lean across the table and grab my hand when I put down the glass. "Listen, honey. He doesn't deserve your attention any more now than he did when you were dating him. He's a bum. A hairy, unwaxed one."

My smile makes a reluctant return to my lips. "Yeah. One with skid marks in its underwear."

Quinn shudders. "Ugh. Most men are so awful. Too bad I need dick on the regular, or I'd swear off them forever."

Despite Quinn's valiant efforts to distract me, my mind strays to my phone several more times. I don't check my notifications, though. I'm quite proud of that.

"I'll tell you what we need to do."

"Huh?" I lift my eyes from my plate where I'm poking my fork at my eggs. I'm not sure I'm going to like Quinn's suggestion. Frankly, unless it's ‘go home and binge chocolate and ice cream all afternoon' then I'm not really in the mood.

"We need to go dancing."

I stare at Quinn. "Dancing?" I can't even form the rest of the sentence. That's the last thing I feel like doing.

"Oh, come on. Don't be like that. We're going out on Friday night." They fold their arms across their chest and give me the little nod that says there's no arguing about this.

I sigh. "Really?"

I haven't been clubbing for ages, but I love dancing. Before Dustin, Quinn and I used to go out all the time. I miss the person I was then. Right now, though, she feels like a distant memory.

"Yes, really. You owe it to yourself. Or to me, anyway. I need a good wingwoman. Even if you want to be celibate for the rest of your life."

"It's been a month!"

"Practically forever!" Quinn gives me a withering look. "It'll dry up like a used cotton ball if you don't use it, you know that right?"

I laugh despite myself. "I don't think that's how it works."

"Oh, come on, Elodie. When's the last time you came out with me?"

I wrack my brains, but I can't remember.

Across the table, Quinn purses their lips.

"Yeah, OK, it's been a while, but honestly, I'm not sure I'm in the mood for dancing."

"Then don't dance, honey. Just sit at the bar and scope out the hot guys for me. You've been such a sad sack lately I can't stand it. At least if I get you get drunk, we might get the fun Elodie back."

I have been moping. It's true. It's just that even though it was shitty of Dustin to break up with me the way he did, I still miss him. I can't help it. I thought he was my forever person.

Boy, was I ever wrong.

I sigh and drain the last of my mimosa. "OK, you're right. I'll come. Where are we going?"

"That's the spirit!" Quinn claps their hands together. "You won't regret it. I'm going to find somewhere super trendy and fun with all the right kinds of people."

I try to smile. I'm not sure I'm the right kinds of people anymore, but I don't want to hurt their feelings.

"Another round?" They give me a wicked grin.

"No, I should get home. I've got adulting to do this weekend. Pretty sure I haven't cleaned my new apartment since I moved in, and there's mold growing on the mold in the bathroom."

Quinn grimaces.

"As my grann would say, Dèyè mòn gen mòn. Behind mountains there are mountains."

"No, no no. That's too depressing." Quinn waves their hand in a dismissive gesture. "I prefer to think that behind mountains are beautiful beaches full of beautiful people in skimpy swimsuits. Haven't you got anything you're looking forward to this week? I mean apart from going out with me on Friday, of course."

"I guess it will be good to have this presentation over with tomorrow."

Quinn sighs heavily. "You have got to get a life, Dee. Why are we even talking about work? It's Sunday."

I shrug. "I don't have much going on right now."

"All the more reason to come out with me this week. And every week until we put a smile back on that face."

I force my lips into a smile I don't feel and point to it. "Look. Smiling. See. I'll be fine. I just need to stop seeing pictures of him with that bimbo."

A glint flashes in Quinn's heavily lined eyes. "Oooh. That's more like it. If we can't be happy, we can be angry. Have you thought about getting revenge? Like going and fucking someone really hot, and letting everyone know. Or better still, a revenge makeover! I'm so here for that."

My hand jumps to the scarf tied in my greasy hair—my attempt to disguise the fact I was too depressed to wash it today. "I don't need a makeover."

Quinn's once-over suggests they feel differently. "Whatever you say. I will tell you you're never going to bang anyone hot looking like the cat dragged you out of bed and then shat on you."

"You better watch it! I'd walk out on you, except you're the only friend I didn't lose in the breakup."

They reach over and squeeze my hand again. "If you walk out, I'll follow. I'm not letting you be alone right now. Only, I do have to go get my nails done. But I can come by later?"

"I'll just be cleaning and wallowing in my misery on the sofa. Oh! And preparing my presentation. Come to think of it, you'd better not come. I'll never get anything done with you around!"

Quinn laughs. "OK, but Friday is a date, yeah?"

"Yeah."

We split the bill and Quinn gives me a kiss on each cheek. "You take care and call me if the wallowing situation becomes too much. I love you so much I would wade through your half-eaten takeout and your dirty underwear to come rescue you from yourself. You know that right?"

I sniff back more tears and thank them. Then I turn and head for the subway and the short trip home.

When I get in the door, I stop to survey the damage, grimacing when I realize Quinn was pretty spot on about the mess. It's practically a health hazard in here. One I really should have done something about before now.

Days worth of dirty dishes are strewn around, on the floor, the arm of the sofa, and piled all over the kitchen counter. My dressing gown and slippers are in an untidy pile on the sofa. A t-shirt I've been wearing all week is slung over the coffee table. Plus tissues, empty packets of biscuits, and a tub of ice-cream with a spoon inside reveal to anyone who cared to look how I was too lazy to even bother with a bowl last night.

Ugh.

I used to make such an effort to keep the place I shared with Dustin neat and tidy and cook yummy things for him when he got home. For what? He never once thanked me for all the things I did and look what it got me.

I find my earbuds, put on my dance playlist, and get stuck in. By the time I'm done with the last of the dishes in the sink, I've almost put Dustin's new profile pic out of my mind. Then my phone buzzes with a call and my stomach flips.

I swipe up and raise it to my ear with a shaking hand. "Hi." For five beats of my heart there's nothing on the other end. I know because I count every one. Is this just a butt dial?

Finally, the familiar sound of Dustin clearing his throat on the other end cuts through the silence. "Elodie, hi. It's Dustin."

Like I wouldn't know his voice even if his number wasn't saved in my phone? "Hi."

"Listen, I'm sorry to call you, but Eric said maybe you'd seen my new profile pic and..." He breaks off.

Maybe he's called to apologize. Maybe he wants to let me know she's just a friend and he's not dating again yet because he misses me too much. Maybe he called to see if I was feeling the same.

"I just wanted to clear things up."

Despite everything, my heart races and a smile creeps across my face. "OK."

"Yeah, it seemed like the kindest thing to do. Anyway, the woman in the photo—Jessica—we're together." He clears his throat again, oblivious to the way he just crushed all the air out of my lungs.

I sit to ease the burn in my chest. "Oh."

"Yeah. We've been together for a few months, actually." He coughs awkwardly. I'm too breathless to speak. "And yesterday, I, um... I asked her to marry me."

"Oh." I pull the phone from my ear to check I haven't made a mistake. This is Dustin I'm speaking to. The guy I've known since the first year I moved to Heartstone. The guy who was my boyfriend right up until the end of last month.

Blood rushes in my ears.

"Yeah. Sorry. I figured it was better if you heard it from me."

I don't say anything. What is there to say?

There's such a long silence Dustin must think I've hung up. "Elodie? You there?"

I wish I wasn't. I wish I was anywhere but here in this aching, suffocating little box of misery.

Eventually, Dustin must give up on me and ends the call. I don't know. I can't focus on anything except my next choking breath in and out. I don't know how long I sit with my head bent toward my knees and my heart slowly seeping out, one tear at a time.

Not long enough. Not nearly long enough.

My heart still hurts when I pick myself up and empty the sink. It still hurts as I gather the dirty laundry from the floor. But I'm done crying over Dustin. I have to be. Turns out he wasn't worth a single one of my tears.