Chapter 34

I work until late sorting through footage and flagging the time stamps of the videos I think should be included in the final presentation. It’s honestly all worthwhile. It’ll be tough to narrow it down to something appropriate for a city council meeting.

I check my phone when it hits midnight, but I haven’t heard anything from Beau since my I miss you too text.

Not a big deal, right? He’s busy. He said so.

I fall asleep with footage of Beau cycling in my brain. I miss him. So much. But I don’t know what to do about it. Beau will never leave this island, but I don’t know that I’m ready to stay here given everything that’s happened. A couple days ago, I think I would have, but the whole city council thing has me second-guessing things. Would it really have killed them to wait until our sale went through to pass their ordinance against short-term housing?

It just feels so…targeted in the way it was handled. Or maybe I’m just being overly sensitive—looking for confirmation, like Beau said. I don’t know. All I know is it hurts.

When I wake in the morning, I’ve still got nothing from Beau.

I try not to think too much of it. I don’t want to make assumptions again, so I send him a text.

Gemma

Everything go okay last night?

The morning is overcast, and I go on a quick run on the beach. I’ll be sitting a lot today, and I’m feeling antsy. I don’t know what’s happening in any domain of my life. The house sale is up the air, my love life is up in the air, my work life is up in the air. I don’t know where I want to live or what I want to do with myself. I’ve got an interview scheduled with Starlight in a couple days, but if I’m being honest with myself, it’s not that appealing to me anymore. After doing this project with Beau, I think I’d rather do PR for small companies where I can feel more invested and confident in the people and products I’m promoting.

I still haven’t heard from Beau when I get home and showered, so I call. It goes straight to voicemail, and my brain starts acting up.

He blocked your number. You’re too unstable for him. He doesn’t need that kind of volatility in his life.

My heart fights back, though.

I’m sure there’s a perfectly plausible explanation for all of it. Give the man a break.

I keep working on the city council presentation, but I must be more on edge than I realize because when my phone rings, I startle, and it falls to the floor.

It’s not Beau anyway. Just Eugene.

“Hey, Eugene,” I say, trying not to sound disappointed.

“Hey, Gemma.”

Ugh. That’s not a voice bringing me good news.

“What’s up?” I ask.

“I just got off the phone with Mr. Wallace’s agent. I’m really sorry, but they’ve canceled the contract. They say it just won’t work for the vision they have. ”

Another burst of resentment bubbles up inside me, and I shut my eyes and take a second before responding. “Is it the boundary thing? Or the short-term lease problem?”

“The boundary issue, they were willing to work through, I think. There were alternative options for the dock. So ultimately, it was the short-term rental ban.”

Anger flashes in my chest, followed by a lump in my throat. The island got what they wanted.

“Do we have any other interested buyers right now?”

“Not at the moment. But don’t fret, Gemma. We’ll get a buyer. We can wait and see how this next week goes, or we can try to jumpstart more interest by lowering the price a bit.”

He’s right, but every bit we lower the price is money Grams doesn’t have for her retirement years. And I have a feeling she’s going to stick around for many years to come.

“Let’s wait a couple of days, at least,” I say, trying to sound like I’m taking this all in stride, when in reality, I’m hurt and frustrated.

Eugene agrees, and we hang up. I stare blankly ahead.

Maybe I should’ve been more careful what I wished for. I was just complaining about everything being up in the air, and now the sale has officially collapsed. How much longer will it take to sell this house now? If we’re not working with investors, it’s a lot less likely we’ll get a cash offer, which means even if we got one today—which won’t happen—the sale wouldn’t close for another month.

Do I stay? Stick around until things are done and dusted? Who’s to say the island won’t pull another quick one and sabotage things somehow? You’d think if people wanted to get rid of us Sawyers so badly, they’d try to facilitate a sale, not stop it.

I look around at the room, and my heart aches a little at the thought of someone else owning it and changing it to be theirs. I’ve never felt so conflicted in my life—wanting to get away from Sunset Harbor but also wishing so badly I could stay. Wishing so badly they wanted me to stay.

Beau said he wants me to. Can that be enough for me?

Not like it changes things with the house. It needs to be sold. Soon.

“Ugh!” I yell out, and the sound reverberates in the sparsely furnished house.

I force myself to focus on Beau’s presentation, even though with each passing hour, I feel a bit more uncertain.

At four o’clock, a text finally comes through.

Beau

So sorry. Been a crazy day. A manatee and her calf needing to be rescued. Still working on it. My personal phone died and then got lost in the chaos. We’re about to transport the animals to a mainland facility for treatment. I’ll call you as soon as I can—which is a whole lot less than what I’d *like* to do, believe me.

I let out a breathy laugh, full of nervous relief.

“See, stupid brain? He’s rescuing manatees!”

It’s amazing how differently I feel after that text. Especially that last part. I read it ten times before forcing myself to plug my phone in at least ten feet away so I can get some actual work done. I wish I had some footage of the manatee rescue to add to this presentation. Except I don’t want the whole city council falling in love with Beau; I just want them to give him a full-time salary and benefits.

I get into the zone, focusing in on the little details of the video presentation—the best fonts for the titles and captions, the best video transitions, adjusting the lighting as necessary. I’m so focused on the little things that I almost don’t notice how insanely attractive the subject of all the videos is or how perfect he is for me. It’s hard to believe I’d ever find anyone as grounding, thoughtful, and fun as Beau .

Am I honestly considering leaving him behind? It’s certifiably insane.

I wish he weren’t so attached to the island, then we could start somewhere new together.

Whoa.

I’m getting a little ahead of myself. Things are still new and fresh.

It’s almost ten o’clock at night when I put the finishing touches on the presentation from the comfort of my bed. I’d hoped to be done a lot sooner than this, but given that Beau’s been busy all day, it wouldn’t have mattered much. He must be exhausted, and tomorrow’s an important day.

I send the final file to him with a short message in the body of the email: City Council Presentation. Starring Beau Palmer.

I press send and close my laptop as there’s a tap on my window.

My mouth breaks into an unstoppable grin. I have no chill, shoving my laptop aside and rushing over to the window to open it.

Beau’s face is turned up toward mine, his uniform shirt is unbuttoned, and his hair is a little less orderly than usual. With a few minutes, I could disorder him even more, I bet.

I stare down at him, and he stares up at me for a few seconds in silence.

He lets out a satisfied sigh. “I already feel so much better.”

“Me too,” I say, feeling a bit shy all of a sudden. “I just emailed you.”

“Thank you,” he says. “Any chance you want to come down here? I desperately need sleep, but I need you more. Just a few minutes, even.”

“Catch me?” I tease, making as if to climb through the window.

“I’d love to,” he says with a sleepy smile. “But I don’t think I could catch a baseball right now, GG. My body is wrecked. ”

I have a few other words to describe his body. “Fine. I’ll come down the normal way.”

“Don’t take too long,” he hurries to add before I shut the window.

My heart thumps with anticipation as I hurry downstairs on cloud nine.

He’s waiting on the deck, and I yank open the sliding door and run toward him, wrapping my arms around him. There’s a millisecond of surprise on his part, then his arms close around me, and he buries his face in my hair.

I can hardly believe how good it feels to hug him. Only now do I realize how miserable I’ve been the last two days.

“Does this mean you’re not mad at me anymore?” he mumbles into my hair.

I pull back and look at him. “I wasn’t ever actually mad at you. I was just…”

“Hurt,” he says.

I nod, feeling the lump creep into my throat again. “It’s dumb.”

“It’s not.” He runs his fingers from my temple, back to my ponytail. “It killed me a little inside to answer the council’s question.”

“You were just doing your job.”

“I know, but I never want to hurt you, Gemma. Not ever.”

I search his eyes, but I already know he’s telling the truth, so I put my hand on his jaw and pull his mouth to mine. My mouth can’t form the right words, but maybe they can communicate this way.

His arms shift, falling from around me, and I feel his hands on my face, his fingers pressing against the hollow under my ears as his lips explore mine.

I have no idea what I’m doing with my life. No idea what we are. I don’t really see a future for us, as much as I want to. But I don’t know how to stay away from him. I don’t know how to stop the hope.

After a minute, he pulls back.

“You’re tired,” I say.

“I think I got a second wind,” he says with a sly little smile that might just have the power to keep me here on the island indefinitely.

“Didn’t you already burn through it saving manatees?”

He blows a breath out. “It was crazy, GG. Wish you could’ve seen it, except it was also kind of heartbreaking. The mom and her calf got into waters that were too shallow—over in the mangroves. The calf got stuck in some fishing line with multiple hooks, and she must have panicked. So, I spent the day trying to pretend I know how to render first aid to manatees while waiting for people to arrive from the mainland who actually know how. They did, only to realize they couldn’t just free them; they needed to be transported and taken for observation.” He sighs and slides the fingers of both hands through mine. “But they’re in good hands now.”

“Me too,” I say with a little smile. “I assume you have paperwork to fill out tomorrow?”

He shuts his eyes. “So much.”

“Will you even have time to prepare for the meeting?”

“I’ll make it work,” he says. “Don’t worry about it.”

“I feel like I’m abandoning you. But I just don’t think I can go in front of the council after what happened. I’d end up saying something I regret and ruining what you’re working toward.”

“Gemma,” he says, running his hand down my arm and leaving chills in its wake. “I get it. I really do. And you don’t need to feel bad about it.”

Maybe he’s right. But I do feel bad about it. “The buyers pulled out.”

He grimaces. “I’m so sorry. ”

I shake my head. “I think I knew they would. It still sucks, though.”

He nods. “So, what does this mean?”

I shrug. “I don’t know. I don’t know anything right now, honestly. I’m feeling torn in all sorts of directions. I want to stay on the island, but I also don’t want to—and I don’t even have the option once the house sells, which I don’t actually want to happen, but it has to.”

He pulls me into his arms again. “I’m going to throw my weight behind the pull from Sunset Harbor. I want you to stay, Gemma. Really want you to. But I understand it’s not that easy for you.”

I swallow and shut my eyes. Never have I wanted to grant a wish so badly. He has no clue how much power he has over my desire to stay. “Beau, I have no job, and even if I did, the houses here are way out of my price range. Unless you’re offering me a place at Seaside Oasis? Some kind of grandkids-stay-free deal?”

He chuckles and pulls back to look at me. “There are people on the island you could stay with, GG.”

I shake my head. “It’s not just that. Maybe I’m being too prideful, but I don’t know how to live in a place where so many people feel the way they do about me and my family. And I know you think I’m wrong, but why? The evidence I see says we’re not appreciated or wanted here.”

His phone goes off, and he lets his head fall back in aggravation as he pulls it out. The man needs a break. He looks at the number and grimaces. “I’ve got to take this.”

I nod. “And then get some sleep.”

“Definitely that. We’ll talk more later, okay? Don’t give up on Sunset Harbor yet, though.”

“Okay.” Later means tomorrow, which is fine with me. I mean, not really. I don’t want to be away from him even that long, but I’m trying to rein in this monster that is my feelings for Beau. Especially if whatever we have going on between us is dead on arrival.

He steals a quick kiss before putting his phone to his ear. “This is Officer Palmer,” he says, walking toward his house. He turns his head when he reaches the gate and blows a kiss to me.

I love him.