Chapter 37

This was insane. Perfect, but insane. The feel of being inside of Nathan was everything I'd ever imagined it to be, but something was missing.

When my face fell, he had to know something was wrong.

"What's wrong, baby?"

My thrusts continued, but at a much more slow and languid pace. If I didnt ease up, I would surely fall over the edge.

"I love this. It all feels so damn amazing... but..."

Without missing a beat, Nathan chimed in. "You miss that pretty little hole being filled, don't you? You want to be fucked just as much as you want to fuck. Do we need to plug you up? Please tell me you have a plug. A good little whore would need to be filled all the time, wouldn't he?"

I didn't, and I regretted it. I had a dildo, which had been my faithful companion for a while, but that didn't seem fitting in the moment. The idea of stuffing me with a plug was appealing, and maybe it was something we could explore in the future.

"No plug."

Nathan moaned and rocked against my hips, fucking himself on me a few times. "We need to fix that." Apparently, the idea was exciting to him as well.

Before I knew what was happening, Nathan was above me. My back was on the mattress and after he bounced on my cock a few times, which was a sight I never thought I'd see, he pulled off and reached for the lube. There was no asking permission because he knew what I needed when he doused his fingers and pressed them inside me.

The pressure was perfect, exquisite. My eyes rolled back as he stretched me open. There was no fanfare and Nathan didn't take his time. He'd asked me to split him open and maybe he thought I needed the same. He was right, because after two fingers, I was begging and pleading for his cock, for him to fill me and fuck me. To wreck me and turn me inside out.

"You ready for me?"

I couldn't answer. Words were my worst enemy as pathetic little sounds escaped my throat. That seemed to be all he needed as he lined up his cock and shoved inside. My spine shot off the bed and I wrapped my arms around his shoulders as Nathan fucked me with a single-minded determination. It was rough and possessive, everything that needed to be said between us in one perfect act of passion.

"That's it. My perfect, perfect boy. You feel so damn amazing around me. I love the feel of you, the smell of you. Fuck, youre so incredible. Need to feel you. Need you in every way possible."

Nathan's words kept coming in rapid-fire as his hips snapped again and again. My eyes burned as my emotions boiled over. I loved him so damn much and there would be no giving him up ever again. Even if he needed to leave, I would follow. As much as it hurt, I needed this man in my life. He was my everything. My purpose in life. My Nathan.

"So good. My good boy. My Chase."

I needed his words; they were perfection, the music that made my heart sing as my pleasure surged when his cock pounded my prostate over and over again. He was the perfect melody. I needed the song of our skin slapping together. It would forever be the soundtrack of us. This was us.

"Nathan. Fuck." I couldn't think. Forming coherent sentences was impossible as his hips snapped again and again. This was animalistic, and my eyes watered, but not because of pain or sadness. My heart was so full and maybe it was sappy, but this moment meant everything.

"Goddamn." Nathan pulsed, his sweat flying from his body as he fucked me hard and fast. He froze as something warm filled me. I knew what had happened and my eyes squeezed closed to relish in the feeling of Nathan's cum painting my insides. Marking me as forever his. Because I was. No one else would ever claim me this way. Wouldn't ever dream of it.

Nathan's warm hand wrapped around my cock and pumped in fast, sure movements. I didn't need a lot, and part of me wished I was still inside of him for this, but within moments I was coating his fingers and my stomach. My breath caught as my orgasm washed over me and I fought to hold on to reality. How was it even possible that every encounter was even better than the last?

He collapsed onto my chest, and my arms instantly wound around his back and held him close. The fear that he would pull out and leave was fast and sudden. I didn't even know where it came from, but it was there nonetheless. He was mine to hold on to forever. I needed him to know that. This was for always.

"Nate," I whined, and he must have misunderstood me because he pulled out. My body felt so empty without him, and I wanted to pull him back in and keep him there for eternity.

"What is it, baby?"

Baby. Fuck. He could call me that forever. "Please promise you'll never leave me again."

He must have seen the panic in my eyes. The significance of the moment, because he pulled me close and kissed me so damn tenderly I wanted to melt, live in him. "Never again, Chase. I'll never leave you behind again. I promise."

The tears threatened to spill over. My eyes burned as I fought them away and curled into him. This moment shouldn't be ruined by me becoming overly emotional.

My phone went off and with great reluctance, I disentangled myself from the man in my bed. My ass stung a bit from a few hours ago, but it had been worth it.

Daniel: Are you still alive?

I snorted at the message and set my phone facedown on the table. I'd been a shit friend and had been ignoring everyone since everything had happened with Drew.

Nathan lay facedown on the bed. His arms were wrapped around a pillow and it was hard not to get distracted by how comfortable he looked in my space. No one should be comfortable here. I wasn't even comfortable here most days.

Oreo let out a small mew, and I bent down to pet her. She purred loudly as she rubbed her head against my hand. The poor girl had been neglected lately, but at least she had a sort of bonus dad now. Maybe she wasn't neglected, feeling extra spoiled. She didn't only have my attention.

Instead of climbing back into bed like I wanted to, I pulled out a box of mac and cheese. It wasn't overly fancy, but we needed something after our afternoon fuck-fest. Pulling out a pot from the cabinet without making a noise proved impossible, and they clanged together loudly as I pulled one from the cupboard. It didn't seem to matter. Nathan was dead to the world, which was good. If anyone had lost rest since Drews heart attack, it was him. Maybe it was a little fucked up, but I hoped Nathan now understood how fleeting life could be. It was so easy to lose those you loved.

Oreo jumped up on my lap and curled into a little ball. She was so warm and comfortable, and I loved giving her attention. She was the world's easiest cat and never asked for much outside of being fed and being loved on. "What are we going to do, girl?"

I expected the question to remain unanswered, so I didn't expect the sleep laden response that came from my bed. "You come with me."

My head snapped in the direction of Nathan's voice. His eyes were heavy-lidded with sleep, but he stared at me all the same. "What do you mean, come with you?" I asked.

He sighed. His head remained against the pillow as his breathing picked as he woke up more. "I mean, I don't know what my future holds, but I know that I can't do it without you."

The ache in my chest spread to my whole body as I fought the urge to cry. Oreo and the love of my cat be damned. I shooed her off of my lap as I made my way back to the bed and stood in front of it as Nathan kept talking.

"All I know is that you're my future. I don't have a job or a hope for an income. But I can't picture doing any of it without you."

His words had my knees back on the bed and then laying back next to him. This was what I wanted to hear: that we had a future. No matter how uncertain it may be.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," he said, as his sleep-warm fingers wrapped around mine.

His dark brown eyes showed nothing but promise. A promise that he intended not to break this time, and I needed to give him something in return.

"I'm scared."

It was honest. In all my twenty-two years, I'd never left the coast. My parents had talked about vacations and wanting to travel, but we'd never gone anywhere. I'd never been to Seattle, even though it was only three hours away. It was sad, but there was a huge part of me that wanted to see what was beyond the Washington coast.

The kiss that Nathan placed against my lips set my nerves at ease. I knew that going forward, this man had my back. He meant every last word that he said and that our problematic past was washed away.