Chapter 20

Oreo.

Of course, she'd ruin this perfect moment—the single hottest sexual moment of my entire life. And of course, Nathan would be the one to give it to me.

I winced as I crawled from the bed. My ass was sore as his cum slid from inside of me. That was the biggest mistake ever. Never in my life had I ever let anyone fuck me raw, but this was Nate, and he was different. That let him into another part of me I still wasn't sure he deserved.

The cat continued to cry as I made my way to a cupboard and pulled out a small can of food. It seemed she hadn't been content with the treats that I'd spilled across the counter for her when we first got inside. Nathan stood, watching and waiting to see my next move. Once I'd provided my cat with food and water, I wouldn't be keeping him waiting. There was no need because there was no way that had been a pity fuck. It had been too much. Had meant too much. At least to me.

The second the cat dishes were where Oreo could easily reach them, I was back in my bed, wrapped around the man I needed to tell the truth to, needed to let back in. The want I had for Nathan was unreal, and he had to feel it as well. Maybe he'd felt it since he'd rolled back into town.

Fingertips trailed down my spine and I smiled as I blinked open my eyes. Late afternoon sunshine shone through the curtain I had over the window in my bedroom.

"Hey," I murmured, as I turned to wrap my arms around Nathan. If well-fucked was a real thing, that's how I was feeling now. I wanted to live in this little cocoon of contentment forever, but I knew that wasn't possible. That much was evident by the unsure smile that was plastered on my bed partner's face. A small glimmer of uncertainty still sat heavy in my chest about letting him have me unprotected.

Nathan's sigh held so many meanings. My only hope was that the biggest wasn't regret. That was the last feeling I wanted him to have when it came to the two of us. I wanted to live in this perfect, happy little bubble where nothing went wrong, and we went on as if nothing had ever happened between us. That Nathan had never left and forgotten to come back… That was wishful thinking.

What the hell had I been thinking? Amazing sex didn't mean I needed to hand over my damn soul. Now that he was in my space, seeing this part of me that so few knew, the panic was settling in again.

"What are you thinking about?" His words were soft and murmured against my shoulder as he trailed gentle kisses across my skin. They were kisses that halted when my body locked up. I rolled away, creating a space that left a cavern of icy cold between us. It was a coldness I shouldn't have created, but it needed to happen because we shouldnt have done this at all.

"Chase?" Nathan's dark brows furrowed in confusion.

"I'm—I'm sorry, I just..." My throat was so constricted, I almost couldn't breathe. He needed to leave, but it was shitty to just shove him out of my bed after everything.

Nathan sat up behind me and wrapped an arm around my middle. His chest was warm against my back, almost tempting me to sink into that inviting warmth. "Do you need me to go?"

Oreo's head popped up at the foot of the bed, casting a judgmental stare in my direction. She knew I was making a big mistake, but if I let Nathan stay any longer, this wouldn't be a hookup anymore. My teeth sank into my bottom lip as the words refused to surface. Nathan would have to settle for the way my head nodded. He sighed, kissing my ear before sliding out of the bed and finding his clothes.

The urge to watch him get dressed and leave was almost unbearable. Instead, I buried my head under the blankets until I heard the door close. It didn't take long before the soft pressure of my cat standing on my chest drew me back out.

"I know, girl. But I can't go there again."

Oreo hopped from the bed and stood near her dishes, looking up longingly at me before letting out a pathetic little mew. The smile that stretched my face felt small and forced. I couldn't even find joy in my pet at the moment.

When I finally found the energy to crawl out of my bed, I fished a pair of boxers from my drawer and pulled them on. Oreo grew impatient and was circling my legs, almost tripping me as I made my way to the cupboards. I fed her and then sat on my bed, flicking on the small wall lamp. With the sun setting, I had an urge to head to the beach and witness it. With the way I was feeling, having chased Nathan out of here, maybe it wasn't the best idea to go wallow in loneliness.

The only sound in the camper was Oreo lapping at her water dish, and the quiet made my chest fill with a dull ache. This loneliness was a choice. I was doing it to myself.

I grabbed my phone and pulled up my group chat with my friends. Scrolling through the missed messages, I felt like an outsider looking in. Most of them were Art and Tilly arguing, interspersed with Daniel telling them to knock it off. It almost felt like an obligation to ask them to do something, so instead of messaging the whole group, I pulled up Daniel alone.

Me: What are you doing?

I waited for several minutes for a response before the dots started dancing.

Daniel: Are you done with your fuck-boy yet? I can't handle Art and Tilly by myself.

I snorted a laugh before setting down my phone and closing my eyes. I didn't want to be done with Nathan. Not ever. It was time to re-establish the lines.