Chapter 18

"Ithink that I'm gay."

The words still swam in my head. I hadn't spoken to the Grant family since Nathan had disappeared, but Aiden felt comfortable enough to open up to me. I was also safe. I was miles away from his world, and I wasn't his brother.

"What makes you think that?"

"I don't know. I've never really been interested in anyone. Not really. I didn't understand how Nathan and his friends could just hook up with anyone, or any of my friends, for that matter. I just never found that appealing."

I nodded as he explained. I had an idea about what he could potentially be going through.

"So what made you come to the conclusion about being gay?"

When Aiden had leaned forward and looked longingly at Joe from around Nathan, it hit me. The kid had it bad for his brother's friend.

"But those feelings are new? You haven't felt that way about another guy before?"

Aiden nodded. "I don't know if it's just him..."

This felt special, the way Aiden trusted me with something so big. "I won't say anything. Not if you don't want me to."

He sighed before giving me a secret smile. "I know you won't. You didn't even let Nathan's secret out."

The kitchen was chaotic as young men scrambled for food and coffee. The way Brandon had planted himself in Andrew's lap still had me suspicious that there was something more going on than them being just friends.

Nathan strategically positioned himself between Joe and Aiden, and I had a hunch that he was aware of something brewing. Maybe he didn't realize that it was on Aiden's end and that Aiden might be demi. It wasn't my job to out his brother, but I hoped he had the resources to figure out his sexuality. Or that he'd eventually feel comfortable enough to open up to his brother about it.

"What's that?"

The room grew quiet as Aiden pointed at me. My eyes widened as I looked at all the faces that turned toward me.

"What is what?"

"Oh... shit." Nathan covered his mouth and laughed.

My heart pounded as I looked around in confusion. I jumped when a wrinkled hand landed on my shoulder. "Now, son, you might want to go put a shirt on. But that might not help hide that mark. Maybe take my business a little more seriously in the future?"

I jolted from my seat and ran down the hall to Nathan's room. The mirror on the far wall was close enough to show the purple bruise forming on my neck. I flashed back to our little adventure in the shower yesterday. It had been hot as hell in the moment, and I loved the idea of marking, but I hadn't expected to be called out on it first thing in the morning.

Fuck it. I had nothing to be ashamed of. If I wanted to fuck around, I was going to fuck around.

Sans shirt, I marched my ass back to the kitchen and plopped back into my seat. I picked up my fork and dug into my eggs. All those eyes boring into me burned into my head.

When I was done eating, I went back to the room and grabbed my hat and shirt, throwing them on. Without saying a word, I walked outside and cursed when I still didn't see my bike. Was Drew trying to fuck with me?

"You okay?"

I spun to find Nathan standing on the front step, coffee cup still clutched in hand. The steam rose from the top into the cool morning air.

"I'm fine. Just need to get home."

He nodded. "The guys are taking off here soon. I can give you a ride."

That feeling of panic tried to settle in. How much longer could I fight it? I was letting him in more and more, and if I kept turning him down, he'd shut this down so fast.

"I have... cat."

It sounded lame. Frustratingly, I was unable to form the full sentence.

His grin was a little crooked. "You don't leave it alone all that often, do you?"

I shook my head. "She's a little spoiled."

"Can't your—"

I couldn't let him finish. "No one else can take care of her. Just me."

"Okay. The guys will be gone within the hour. Will she be okay just a little longer?"

My eyes burned. What the hell was that? Why did telling him about my damn cat make me emotional? Maybe because I had almost told him about my parents as well. If I caved and let him take me home... he'd find out soon enough.

I felt a little bad when all of Nathans friends and his brother exited the house and exchanged hugs. Was I rushing this? He deserved the proper time to say goodbye to them, but that selfish side of me was ready. He needed to know this about me. He needed to know that I'd been on my own for years since my parents died.

Aiden waved to me as the car pulled away, and I couldn't fight the smile that forced its way onto my face. The Grant family had always made me feel included and now Aiden and I shared our own little secret. I hoped he would confide in his brother before Nathan intervened. Then again, I didn't know Joe. There could be a reason there.

I sat on the stoop as Nathan grabbed the keys to his car, the morning breeze blowing the loose strands of my hair that had escaped from my hat. I could easily tuck them back in and tame them, but they gave me a much-needed distraction from my racing thoughts. It was terrifying to let Nathan into this part of me.

"You ready to go?"

I stared at those trusting brown eyes. They were so soft and emotive. Nathan's eyes showed his very soul. I could crawl inside of him and live there. It was alarming how easily he broke down my barriers, and I let it happen all too willingly.

"Yeah, let's get going."

When we crawled into his car, he instantly pulled onto the road and turned on his blinker toward my parent's house. My heart pounded because this was the time. This was when I told him I didn't live there anymore and possibly never would again.

"You want to take the left instead of the right."

Nathan looked at me and shrugged before flicking the indicator to change direction. My ears rang the entire time I directed him to my lot. Would he think less of me when he saw it? It wasn't like where I lived was all that impressive, but it was more than enough for me and Oreo.

When we turned into the driveway between the shrubs, the way Nathan's brow furrowed clued me into his confusion. I kept the place nice, but it didn't change the fact the camper was old. It was rusted in a few places. It was white with a faded wood panel that lined the side. Random lawn furniture scattered about gave the lot a lived-in look, but I wondered if outsiders saw it as a homeless persons place. Essentially, I had no place to call home. The major thing was that I'd chosen to live this way. Investors buying properties for rentals made it impossible for people like me to buy a home. This had been my only option at the time.

Chase... Nathan parked his car and stared at my house. The acid churned in my stomach before I threw open the passenger door. It slammed closed behind me as I stormed my way to the entrance of the camper. I couldn't bear being judged by him. I'd lived in my happy little bubble when it came to him this summer and bringing him here burst that in a heartbeat. What the hell had Drew been thinking?

"Chase!"

I froze as his voice carried across the breeze. My hand rested on the door handle. Oreo pawed on the other side, causing it to rattle on the hinges.

I let go of the door, ignoring the pathetic sound of my cat crying. It broke my heart to hear her like that, but she had to know that I was conflicted right now.

"Listen, Nathan..."

Before I could finish, his mouth crashed to mine as his hands knocked my hat from my head when his fingers worked into my hair. What the hell was happening right now? My heart felt like it was going to explode from my chest. Did he feel sorry for me? Was this a pity kiss? My mind whirled. What did all of this mean? The easiest thing would be to ask him, but when had I ever taken the easy way out of anything?