Chapter 59

After asking Verna to watch her stall for her, Jewel and I went for a walk on the beach. In the month since we’d been gone, it’d gotten much cooler here, especially next to the water. The breeze coming off the lake had an icy edge to it, the sand beneath my feet already cool even though it’d been baking in the sun all day.

We were both dressed much more warmly now than we had been before I’d left, but a shiver ran through Jewel as we strode along the shore. Silently, I offered her my hoodie but she shook her head. “I’m fine. Thank you.”

It was about as many words as she’d spoken to me since we’d surprised her, but at least there was no venom in her tone. She wasn’t being short with me or simply shutting me out. She just didn’t want my jacket.

“I owe you an apology,” I started. My hands were in my pockets but my forearm brushed against hers every so often as we walked. I glanced at her, seeing that her eyes were staring straight ahead, a thoughtful expression on her features. Since she hadn’t said anything or walked away, I kept going, watching her closely as I spoke. “I know that saying I’m sorry will never make up for the way I left, but I really am sorry.”

After another long minute of just staring straight ahead, she finally shot me a sidelong look, her chin tucked low against her chest. “If you’re so sorry, why did you do it? Why did you come back? I feel like I don’t know anything right now. Not what you’re here for. Or for how long. Or what it means that you’re here. If it even means anything.”

I exhaled a long, slow breath and nodded. “I thought I was doing the right thing when we left. It felt like the only thing I could do to spare us all this pain, but I only realized after that all I was doing was being a coward. Thinking only about myself and what I wanted.”

“You’re allowed to think about yourself, Landon. But none of that tells me what you’re doing here now.”

“See, that’s the thing. At the time, I thought that was what I wanted. I thought I wanted to get away from here. I thought I needed to go back to my life and that it would be better for everyone that way, but I hurt Colten and I hurt you. And I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry, Jewel. I was so wrong.”

She crossed her arms to hug herself, glancing up at me as she stopped walking. In the pale moonlight, I couldn’t see the exact golden color of her eyes, but I could see the hurt shining from them. “What do you want, then? If you don’t want to be back in your own life, where do you want to be?”

“I want to be here,” I said emphatically. “I want to be with you. I want you, me, and Colten to be a family. I want to find something meaningful to do with my life, and I want to do it from here. I want this, Jewel. Us. If you’ll still have me, of course.”

Her lips slowly parted, her jaw growing slack as she stared at me. “Are you serious? You’ve moved here?”

“Well, I mean, not yet. I’ve got a lot of stuff I need to wrap up back in LA, but I quit my job. At least that’s a start, right?”

“You quit?” She stared at me like she was expecting me to tell her I’d adopted a rhino next.

I chuckled sheepishly, nodding as I rocked back on my heels. “Yeah, I kind of went down in a blaze of glory. Or a meltdown. Depends on how you’re looking at it, but the end result is the same. I no longer have a job.”

“That’s…” She trailed off, then suddenly smiled at me. “That’s amazing, Landon. I’m so proud of you. You’ve got balls of steel.”

I did a double-take, then started laughing. “Really? We’re talking about my balls now?”

She shrugged, a small smile playing on her lips as she turned and started walking again. Chuckling as I fell into step beside her, I nudged my elbow into hers. “So what do you think? Do you still want me now that I’m unemployed?”

“I don’t know,” she said quietly, glancing at the sand and the footprints we were leaving behind. My heart started sinking until she spoke again. “I don’t really care about your employment status, but has anything else changed? What about Walt? And your inheritance? And Colten’s school and his responsibilities?”

“Last I checked, they have a school here,” I said lightly before I got serious. “Look, in all honesty, I do still have a lot to figure out, but you asked me if I’m willing to fight for us and that’s what I’m doing. I’m just sorry it’s taken me so long to do it.”

“So you’re willing to consider moving to June Lake?” She stopped walking abruptly, turning to face me with hope sparkling in her eyes. “Forever?”

“I’m not just willing to consider it,” I murmured, facing her in turn and reaching for her hands. “I’m ready to put the wheels in motion to do it. I haven’t had time to figure everything out, but where there’s a will, there’s a way. I can sort out my inheritance from here. Colten’s chomping at the bit to start school with Brody and the others. Walt…”

I drew in a sharp breath. “For now, he’ll have to stay where he is. I’ll have to go back and forth a lot for at least the next few months while I settle things over there, but he’s supportive of this move. Green Acres was the first place I went after I quit. We talked. He wants me to do this.”

My heart hammered in my chest as I waited for her to respond. At the moment, she was just staring at me again, her jaw unhinged as she blinked like she wasn’t sure she understood everything she’d just heard.

“What do you think?” I asked. “Have I blown it, or do we still have a chance?”

“It’s been a hard month without you,” she started slowly and softly, vulnerability shimmering in her eyes as the corners of her lips turned down. “I felt betrayed and angry, but I finally got to a point where I understood why you’d done it. I even believed that it had been for the best. How do I know this is really going to happen?”

“I’ve already enrolled Colten in June Lake Elementary,” I admitted. “He’ll be transferring in next month. I can show you the email if you don’t believe me.”

“No, I…” She blinked a bunch of times really, really fast. Then she ran her hands up the length of my arms to my shoulders. “You’re really moving here for me?”

“Yeah, I guess I am,” I said. “To be fair though, it’s not only for you. It’s for Colten too, and for me. But for us, yes. I’m moving for us.”

She pushed her fingers into the hair at the back of my head as a slow smile spread her lips. “In that case, I forgive you. You really hurt me and I’m not just going to get over that, so I might need a bit of constant reassurance from you for a while, but I’m willing to give you another chance.”

“You are?” My heart went crazy, galloping as relief flooded my system and a grin broke out across my face. “For real?”

“For real,” she murmured, stepping into me and pressing her chest against mine. “I’m serious about that constant reassurance, though.”

“I can give you that,” I promised her as my hands found her hips and I gripped them hard, afraid that if I eased up even just a little that she’d suddenly disappear from my life again. “As much of it as you need.”

She smiled. “Good.”

“I wasn’t sure what to expect showing up unannounced like this,” I admitted, holding her closer just to breathe her in. “You’re amazing. Do you know that?”

She shrugged. “Nah, I’m just in love. I missed you and Colten every second of every day that you were gone and I’ve daydreamed about a moment just like this. I never thought it would happen, but you came here. You apologized. You’re doing exactly what I’ve been praying you would decide to do, even when I know I wouldn’t have been able to do the same thing.”

I lowered my forehead to hers. “Colten and I were meant to find June Lake. We were meant to fall in love with this place and with you. This is where we’re supposed to be, Jewel. I know it.”

With that, I slid a finger under her chin and lifted it, sealing my lips over hers for a kiss that doubled as a promise. I wouldn’t pull any of that shit again. From now on, I was putting her and my kid first, and everything else could be damned.

Jewel grabbed my hand and inclined her head back toward the market with a coy smile playing on her lips. “Sam, Brittany, and Scott are still watching Colt, right?”

“Why?” I asked teasingly, already following as she dragged me across the beach to the street. “Do you need to fix up my hand again?”

She tossed me a wink over her shoulder as we hurried to her apartment. “Something like that. Mostly, I just want to welcome you officially to June Lake.”

I groaned. “God, please don’t tell me you welcome everyone who moves here like this?”

“Nah, only the guys I love.” She flung her arms around my neck as soon as we’d stumbled into her apartment.

I kicked the door shut with my foot, my hands in her hair and my lips against hers as I spoke between searing, hungry kisses. “I love you too, Jewel Pendleton. I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking when I left, but I’m never doing it again.”

“Good,” she murmured into my kisses as I walked her backward to her bed. “I’m holding you to that.”

“I’m counting on it.” As soon as her knees hit her mattress, I dropped my hands to the hem of the sweater she had on and pulled it unceremoniously over her head.

She laughed, unzipped my hoodie, and pushed it off my shoulders while kicking off her shoes. There was nothing romantic about the way we were ripping each other’s clothes off, but once we were naked, we finally slowed down. A little bit anyway.

I laid her down on her bed and crawled over her, kissing her deeply and thankful for the condom I’d hurriedly rolled on. Sliding my fingers between hers, I held her hands above her head, pressing them into the mattress as I sank into her.

She felt like coming home, hot, and wet, and perfect. I groaned into her mouth, deepening the kiss as she writhed underneath, her hips keeping time with mine. This was the very best possible outcome to have gotten from us surprising her, but as we made love that night, I vowed to myself that one day very soon, I would surprise her again.

With a ring next time.

So many things in my life were up in the air right then, but the only thing I knew for certain was that I’d made the right decision coming back here. As soon as I knew exactly how I was going to make it all happen, I would ask her to be mine.

Forever.

In the meantime, I was going to make sure she knew just how much I loved her—starting right here and right now. She was never going to doubt how much she meant to me ever again.