Chapter 40
Twenty-four hours after Walter had called to warn them about Colten’s mother, I was taking a long soak in the en suite bath in my luxurious room at the Manor, giving Colt and Landon some time to speak privately. All day long, the boy had been quiet and withdrawn while Landon had tried to keep things cheerful and upbeat, but even I had been able to see the worry in his eyes.
I couldn’t imagine how it felt for Colt to have a mother who hadn’t wanted to raise him. I also didn’t envy Landon the task of having to navigate it all. While I didn’t know much about Kaitlin, it seemed to me that she’d once again put Landon in an impossible position and that, by itself, was enough to tell me that she had to be an incredibly selfish person.
First leaving him with their son without any notice or consideration for either of them, and now by showing up at his stepfather’s living facility out of the blue. Surely, she had to have known that Walter would reach out and tell them, and that in doing so, all sorts of old wounds would be torn open.
Lying there in the warm, citrus-scented water, I dragged my hands across the surface, wondering how any mother could be so thoughtless. My own had abandoned me too, but only once I had been much older than Colten was even now. Plus, she’d kept in touch for a while after she’d left. At least she hadn’t simply disappeared overnight without a trace.
Still, having had my own mother walk out on me, I related to Colten and the uncertainty he had to be feeling right now. Neither of them seemed to know exactly why she’d shown up at Walter’s care facility, though I had a feeling Landon suspected something he wasn’t saying out loud.
For both their sakes, I was hoping she’d simply been checking in. Perhaps even seeking them out to apologize. But while I was naturally optimistic, wanting to give people the benefit of the doubt, I wasn’t naive.
I knew that her surfacing like this likely wasn’t good news. Sighing as I lathered some soap into a sponge and washed myself, I pondered what this meant for Landon and Colten. Would they cut their summer short and head home to deal with her?
The mere thought made my chest ache. I only had a few more weeks left with them, but I desperately wanted those few weeks. I would hate to have to say goodbye to them even earlier than I’d known I’d have to.
Eventually, clean and wrinkled, I got out of the bath and changed into comfortable sweats with a light, long-sleeved T-shirt that hung slightly off one shoulder. It had started raining earlier, and while it wasn’t cold, it was definitely nippier than it had been earlier.
Heading out of my room, I saw that Colten’s light was off, but there was still a glow emanating from downstairs which told me that some of the lights down there were still on. Following the glow, I found Landon sitting by a window in the parlor, watching the rain fall with a glass of whiskey in his hand.
“Hey,” I said softly, not wanting to startle him. “Mind if I join you?”
“No. Of course not. Come on over here.” He glanced at me, those greens soft but still a little cloudy with worry. “I didn’t realize that it rained at night around here during the summer.”
I chuckled. “Rainy nights are rare this time of year, but I love them. They always smell so incredible. Especially out here at the Manor.”
We were surrounded by so many trees and so much grass. The windows in the room were open and I sighed dreamily as I sat down beside him on the sofa. Curling into his side, I put my hand on his knee and breathed in the earthy scent floating in on a refreshing breeze.
“How did the talk go?” I asked quietly. “Is he okay? He seemed a bit down today.”
Landon shrugged, snaking a warm arm around my shoulders and drawing patterns on my bicep as he returned his gaze to the rain. “He deserves better than the likes of Kaitlin. The kid has a good head on his shoulders, you know?”
“He really does,” I agreed thoughtfully. “No doubt he’s questioning a lot of things right now.”
“That’s what bugs me,” he murmured, lowering his head to rest it on top of mine. “I’ve never kept any secrets from him. As soon as I knew he was old enough to understand, I told him that his mother left because she chose to. That it had nothing to do with him.”
He released a shaky breath. “I told him that she’s always wanted to put herself first, and that’s what she did when she left. It’s who she is and who she will always be.”
I glanced up at him. “And now? I hope he still believes that it wasn’t his fault.”
“I think he does, but he’s a kid. What kid doesn’t want to know their mother? It’s only natural, but I had to make sure that he knows she’s probably going to put herself first again this time around. Whatever she wants from us, I needed him to know that he has to manage his expectations.”
“Shit, that’s tough,” I said, burrowing deeper into his side and holding him a little closer. “What did he say?”
“That he’s already come to the same conclusion basically. It sounds like his main concern is that she’s going to hurt me again, which she won’t. She doesn’t have that kind of power over me anymore, but Colten? He’s too young to remember how much she hurt him.”
He went quiet for a long time after that and my heart went out to him, bleeding for the pain they both must’ve experienced at her hands. “It must’ve been really hard having such a young baby and becoming a single father.”
“It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through,” he admitted. “I’d, uh, I’d go to him when he was crying. Pick him up out of his crib and cuddle him. Change his diaper. Give him a bottle. Whatever I could think of to make him stop crying, but I knew I couldn’t give him what he really wanted, which was his mother. He couldn’t ask for her yet, but I mean, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure it out. There were nights when he was inconsolable, but he and I got through it eventually.”
“I admire you for that,” I said, completely honest. “I cannot even imagine how difficult it must have been for you, holding a crying baby all night long and not knowing what to do about his longing for the one person who should always have been there for him.”
“It wasn’t fun. I can tell you that much. But the thing is that I really wouldn’t change it because, in the end, he stopped crying for her. Colten is mine in every single way and we’ve always been so much better off without her. The thought of her coming back now and trying to sink her claws into him? It makes me so fucking furious and protective. I feel like an animal in a trap ready to gnaw my own limbs off to defend what’s mine.”
I felt a rush of attraction toward him that spiked my blood pressure so much that it damn near made me dizzy. This man was just so incredible. So strong and so real. I rolled my head on his shoulder to look up at him, bringing my hand to his face and stroking his cheekbone with my thumb.
“You are an amazing father and a provider unlike any other I’ve ever met. Colten is lucky to have you and I’m quite sure he knows that. No matter what she does now, she can’t change the past. He is yours and he will always know who was there for him.”
“Sure, but she’s still his mom,” he murmured.
“Whatever happens, I have your back and his.” I turned a little more into him so my torso was facing his as I held those beautiful eyes. “Do you have any idea what she wants?”
“Money,” he said as if it was a lot more than just an educated guess. Like he knew it for a fact. “When I turned thirty, I received my inheritance from my parents and she knows about it.”
“Do you think that’s why she’s suddenly circling? Are you worried she wants your inheritance?”
He nodded, his next words chilling me to the bone. “What I’m most worried about isn’t the money itself. It’s that she’s going to file for custody so that she has some form of a claim to it.”
I shook my head, my eyes widening at the thought of anyone doing something so truly vile. “I’m no expert at this, obviously, but it doesn’t sound like she has a leg to stand on. Maybe you should call a lawyer, though. Just in case.”
“I am a lawyer.” He laughed, brushing a few damp locks of hair out of my face.
“A family law lawyer,” I said, smiling up at him. “From what I’ve heard, it’s never a good idea to take your own case to court.”
“It’s not, but I also don’t know anyone I trust more than myself with this.” He moved his thumb to my mouth, dragging the pad of it across my lips as he drank me in like he was marveling at my very existence. “Thank God, you’re here. I’m not entirely sure what would’ve happened if you hadn’t been, but I think there would’ve been a lot more spinning out.”
“I doubt it,” I said confidently. “You seem to have all this under control, even if it’s not easy.”
“Sure, but knowing you’re here has been keeping me calm. We’re in this beautiful place, we’ve got you with us, and even if she’s out there somewhere, trying to find us, she can’t take this from any of us, you know?”
“I do know.” I climbed into his lap and smiled as I wound my arms around his neck.
Mild surprise flickered across his features, but his hands fell to my hips and he gripped them tight as I whispered in his ear. “Now let me distract you from your troubles, Mr. Payne. Right here and now, it’s only us here and I think we should take advantage of that. Don’t you?”