Chapter 15

BO

I slipped back into my cabin only to find Mei on the sofa with an amused expression on her face. "Neptune again?" she asked.

"There's only one day left," I pointed out, going to sit down opposite her.

"Mmm. Which is why we were supposed to have a meeting an hour ago about what I should expect once we leave and where we're going next."

"I'm here now," I mumbled.

"Can I not just stay on being the cruise entertainment? I've enjoyed having a lot of leisure time," she said.

"You know you can't. You've got a concert in Nice next week, and then a festival in Budapest the week after. And in two months, you need to be back in the studio recording your next album," I rattled off.

"I know," Mei responded. "But don't you ever think about what it would be like if none of that was true?"

I frowned. "Are you firing me?"

"What? No, of course not. Why would I do that?"

"I've kind of abandoned you the past few days."

"So? All I've done is sip a few cocktails in the cruise liner's bar, written a couple of songs, and spend time with Chiguo. It's not like any of that is unreasonable."

"I suppose not." And it wasn't like I hadn't been doing a lot of the same things with Neptune.

Mei frowned, her concern very clear in her demeanour. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," I lied. "But you're right, we need to talk about what's going to happen when the cruise ends. Luckily for us, the last stop isn't that far from Nice. We'll get a train down there, and then we're booked into the hotel for a week. I made the change to the set list you wanted so you can sing with Chiguo, and made sure that he was added to the hotel booking so he's able to stay the night without anyone asking questions."

"That sounds good," Mei responded.

"You'll have a couple of rest days to explore Nice too."

She raised an eyebrow. "To recover from all the relaxing I've been doing on the boat?"

I shrugged. "The whole cruise counts as a work event even if you've only performed once. And Jinx are paying you for it."

"Feels like we're ripping them off a bit."

"Hardly. They agreed to the price as fair, it's up to them to decide what it's worth to them."

"Even so." She gave me a look that made it seem as if she wanted to say something else.

"Yes?" I prompted.

"What are you planning on doing during the rest days?" she asked.

"I don't know. I'll probably go and find somewhere nice to eat, maybe go to the beach and read a book, I haven't thought much about it."

"Really? I'd have thought you'd have been making plans with Neptune."

I blinked a few times. "Why would you think that?"

"You're clearly into him, and he's clearly got the same feelings about you. Why wouldn't you want to spend time with him in a nice town in the south of France?"

"Because whatever it is between us will be over then. It's not going to last longer than the cruise."

"Has he told you that or have you just decided that's how it's going to be?"

I opened my mouth to protest and then realised I couldn't because she was right. Neptune and I had never actually talked about what was going to happen after the cruise ended. I'd told him that I didn't have time for dating, but then I'd happily kind of dated him anyway, telling myself all along that it was just a summer fling and nothing more than that.

Expect that it wasn't. Whether I wanted to admit it out loud or not, I was well past the part of it being a fling. I was pulled to something inside him that went much deeper than that.

"I just decided that was how it was going to be," I said in answer to Mei's question.

"And is it what you want it to be?" she asked. "If you want it to be over tomorrow, then that's fine, but I'd like to think I know you fairly well, and I'm not sure that feels like what you might want."

I pursed my lips and tried to think of what I actually wanted. And what might be possible. It was hard to imagine anything that wasn't a disaster. "I don't know what I want," I said honestly.

"Mmhmm, sure you don't." Mei leaned back in her seat with a satisfied expression on her face.

"You've gotten sassy since you fell in love," I muttered.

"Or maybe you've just been more receptive to it," she responded. "So what do you want with Neptune?"

I sighed. "It couldn't possibly work. Long distance is difficult at the best of times, and I'm not even in the same city all the time. It's not like he could come visit me."

"Couldn't he? Chiguo manages to visit me when I'm away."

I opened my mouth to tell her that was different, only to realise that wasn't entirely true. Chiguo and Neptune were both gods, and that meant that they both had access to the portals in and out of the god realm. Neptune could visit me anywhere in the world at any point.

But would he want that? It wasn't exactly a settled life, and I didn't know whether he'd be okay with that.

"The only way you're going to know is if you ask," Mei said.

"I didn't say anything."

She shrugged. "Your face did the talking. You can take or leave my advice all you want, but I say that you should talk to Neptune and see what he wants. Until you know that, you can't even start making a decision about the future."

I sighed. She was right. And as difficult as it was going to be to have the conversation, I knew that leaving the ship without at least telling Neptune I wanted to see him again was going to be even harder. And I knew I was going to regret it if I didn't at least try to talk to Neptune about it.