Chapter 21

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

"Do me a favor and don't get upset or freak out at me." Phoenix sounded like himself, but also, he didn't.

Piper sat stiffly on the bed, half listening to the shower running, the rest of his attention on his brother's voice. Phoenix tended to speak flatly, even when there was an emergency, so he'd learned to read subtle tones in his voice. Right now, he didn't sound like he was in distress, but the words put him on edge.

"Just say it," Piper told him.

Phoenix took a breath. "We're going to cancel the wedding."

Piper blinked rapidly. "Did something happen between you two?"

"No. Mads broke his hip. Which is weird. It's totally an old-person injury. I'd expect that call from you."

"First of all, fuck you. I'm not old. I'm delightfully spry," Piper said. "Second of all, shit. Is he okay?"

"He needs surgery, then physical therapy. And it's the other leg, the one he could bear weight on, so they're not sure he's going to be able to walk for a really long time." Phoenix paused. "Actually, the doctor said maybe ever, but Mads was really high when he said that, and I think he forgot. I don't want to tell him again."

"No need to burden him with it now." Piper scrubbed a hand down his face. "Do you want me to come help out?"

"No. Mads and I think it's better that you don't. He needs time to heal, and he doesn't want to be in pain in front of you."

That stung a little, but Piper got it. More than he cared to admit. "Well, if you need anything, let me know. I can send some food delivery services to your place if you send me your safe takeout list."

"I love you a lot," Phoenix said.

Piper felt that all the way in his chest. "I love you too. Can we arrange to see you soon? I hate that it's been so long."

"Mads suggested that maybe we get married out there next year when he's up for it. He misses the East Coast."

"Definitely. I'll help with whatever plans you need. Talk soon?"

"Yeah. Tell Juno I'm sorry."

"I will, but he won't mind. Have a good night, and hug Mads for me." He didn't think Phoenix was going to do that. His brother didn't find logic in passing along physical gestures from one person to the next. He understood the concept, but it always rubbed him the wrong way.

And for making that request, Phoenix hung up on him. Piper laughed as he set the phone down, then went for the bathroom door, which was cracked open. Juno was under the spray, his hair tied up and out of the water that was cascading down his back.

"Is it helping?"

Juno started and glowered over at him. "What the fuck?"

"Sorry," Piper said through a short chuckle. "I didn't mean to scare you. I just wanted to see if the shower was helping your back."

"Not as much as it'll help getting to a better bed," Juno groused.

Piper sighed. "Yeah. About that…"

"Please don't say we have to stay here another night," Juno all but begged. He shut off the water and reached for his towel. It was a shame to cover up all those cut lines of his body, but Piper liked him every which way he came.

"We don't have to stay here, but Nix just called and said the wedding's off. Mads was hurt, and he's having surgery."

Juno's eyes went wide. "Oh, shit. Do you need to fly out there? I can't drive your car back, but I could find my way home if you need me to."

Piper's brows furrowed deeply as he took Juno's face between his hands. "Sugar, I would never just leave you behind. Christ."

"No, I know that, but I'd probably be in the way, and?—"

"Hey."

Juno swallowed back whatever he was going to say and met his gaze.

"Nix doesn't want me there. Mads has a lot of healing to do, and they don't need to worry about guests right now. We just need to figure out where to go from here. There's still Yellowstone, which was on the list, and then the Rockies. You said an Arizona sunset, and that's way out of the way, but since we don't have to hit California, we could make time. And there's?—"

"Piper." Juno's voice was so soft Piper barely heard him. He immediately stopped talking and stroked his thumbs over the curves of Juno's shoulders. "Can we go home?"

Piper studied his face. "Of course we can. You sure you want to abandon your list?"

"There's a lot I can still see, but there's a lot that I won't be able to," Juno said softly. He leaned into Piper's arms and rested his cheek against his chest collarbone. "I don't think I have it in me to be disappointed."

"Was the observatory bad?"

Juno shook his head. "Adam had that cool lens, and I really was able to see everything. It was amazing. But I doubt anyone else is going to have that for me. I…I need to make a therapy appointment, and I need to talk to my friends. And figure out what to do about work. And—" He hesitated for a brief second. "—I need to call those places my doctor recommended so I can figure out where to go from here."

Piper eased him back and cupped his jaw. "Okay. Let's go home."

"If you're out a bunch of money?—"

"It doesn't matter. I can get refunds on some, and I'll eat the cost on the rest. I literally do not care," he emphasized when Juno looked like he wanted to argue. "Make it up to me by letting me test all your new cupcake recipes. That's what I'd be spending all my extra cash on if we'd never left."

Juno blinked, then burst into laughter. "The worst part about this is I know you're serious."

Piper leaned down and kissed him slow and soft, hoping Juno could feel just how much he liked him. No. Just how much he loved him.

He was tired of denying it.

"Sugar. Juno," he amended. It felt right to use his name for this because the confession was burning on his tongue, and he couldn't hold it back any longer. He picked up Juno's hands between his and sent a prayer into the cosmos that this wouldn't go badly.

He licked his lips.

Juno's fingers began to tremble.

"I'm falling in love with you." The words were loud in the silence that sat between them. They pierced the air, almost startling. And then they hung there.

Piper had never been so aware of his own heartbeat, or the breath in his lungs, or the blood in his veins. He desperately wanted to ask Juno to say something—anything—but he didn't.

Juno's eyes closed slowly, and he took a shuffling step forward, close enough their hips touched. Their hands rested, still clasped, at the height of their hearts. Then his thumb dragged over Piper's knuckles—a soft, slow, steady touch.

He wanted to laugh. Or maybe cry. He'd never felt so much in his entire life. And waiting for Juno to say anything at all was torture.

"No one's ever said that to me before," Juno whispered.

"I'm sorry if it's too much."

Juno laughed, the sound a little watery as he shook his head. He looked up at Piper and dislodged one of his hands, touching the side of his jaw. "When I was thirteen, I was with a family for a really short time. They ran a series of ice cream stores. We had to work there."

Piper felt white-hot rage rising in his gut. "You were so young."

Juno laughed. "We got paid a dollar an hour. To me, that felt like so much money, and I was happy to do it. I've always liked working. But I was so angry back then—so stubborn. I was always in trouble. The man—his name was Dan, and he used to get so pissed when I wouldn't call him Dad—he shoved me into a wall one day when I wouldn't decorate the display the way he wanted. He told me that my smart mouth and shitty attitude was why no one would ever love me. He said it was why I kept getting dumped by foster families and that one day I'd wake up and realize that what he was saying was the truth."

"Juno…"

"I didn't start believing him until I was nineteen and I couldn't make any relationships last. Oliver had fucked off to the other side of the country, Miles was still too young to get out. I was too dumb for college, so I was on my own, and I realized no one ever really stuck around. I was too complicated for the friends I made, and guys didn't want to date a mess. I thought maybe he was right."

"He wasn't ."

Juno shrugged. "Up to that point, the only people who have ever loved me are the ones who grew up as fucked-up as I did. I thought maybe it would be fine if we just loved each other. I thought it would be enough." He licked his lips. "Then I met you, and I wanted you to love me so fucking badly. And, of course, you came into my life at the worst possible moment." He laughed again and shook his head before looking back up at Piper and searching his face. "Am I dreaming? I've had one like this a few times."

Piper felt his eyes crinkle in the corners as he smiled. "Exactly like this?"

Juno scoffed and shoved him a little. "No. Different. This is better as long as you promise it's not all in my head."

Piper grabbed his chin and kissed him deeply, pouring every ounce of what he was feeling into it. Juno groaned and arched against his body. "Does that feel like it does in your dreams?"

"No."

Piper pulled back. "Then I promise you. It's not in your head."

Juno nodded and bit his lip. "I'm…I feel…" He swallowed thickly.

"If you're not ready to say it?—"

"I am ready. Jesus, I've felt this way for so long, but I'm scared I'm going to jinx it. Like, you know the curse when couples get matching tattoos or…I don't know…go to IKEA for the first time? Then, three weeks later, it's over?"

"Tattoos and IKEA break relationships that were already full of cracks," Piper said. He actually didn't know if that was true. He had no ink, and he'd never set foot in a Swedish furniture store. But he didn't believe in curses. He believed in what he felt for Juno.

He'd never been in love before, that was true. So maybe he wouldn't truly know how to recognize the signs. But he'd lived long enough to know the feeling of not wanting to live without someone. And Juno's name was engraved on his soul.

"I want to be irrational and make you promise you'll never leave me, but that doesn't feel right."

Piper smiled at him again. "How about this—so long as I have faith that you want me, I promise I will never stop fighting to keep you."

"I'll take it." Juno pressed fully into Piper, wrapping his arms around his middle, kissing him until they were both breathless. They broke apart with slow, careful pecks, and then Juno knocked his forehead against Piper's and stayed there. He was a blurry, one-eyed mess that close, and God, Piper loved him so much. A beat passed, and then two before Juno finally spoke again. And he closed his eyes when he did it. "I'm tired. And I want to go home. And…I love you."

Piper canceled all the reservations he could, then took the shortest road home, which had them pulling up to the town house almost exactly forty-eight hours later. He hadn't driven that long of a stretch in years, and his body was begging for a hot bath full of Epsom salt and then a solid night's sleep.

Juno was like a zombie walking in, bumping into several things, but Piper was pretty sure that was more his fatigue than his eyes. He shuffled toward the bedroom and collapsed on the bed, muttering something about his car before his breathing evened out.

Piper watched him for a while, then turned and looked through his cabinets. They were desperately bare, so he made a note to shop for supplies before dropping to his couch and kicking his feet up on the coffee table.

He was tired, but it would be a while before he could sleep. He was wound up from the drive, from the revelation that he was in love and that Juno loved him back. That the scope of his entire life was about to change shape into something unfamiliar.

He wanted it, but it scared him a little. He never really envisioned his future before. Whenever he'd try, the only thing he could picture was a sort of dark void. There were sometimes shapes and shadows, but that was it. None of it made sense.

It was like trying to put together a jigsaw puzzle, but all the pieces were painted black.

Rubbing at his temples, he let himself sink into the warm fuzzies that came with knowing that Juno was at home with him. Being in love was one thing, but settling in together was something entirely different. Piper was sticking to his word about giving Juno his own space, but more than that, he wanted to give him a place to work.

Pulling out his phone, he looked up portable kitchens, and he found one on a tiny-home website. It was a small building, sort of like a mini warehouse, and it could be hooked up to utilities. He didn't know what it would take to open a commercial kitchen for at-home stuff, but he figured he and Juno could cross that bridge when they came to it.

The point was he could afford it. He could invest in his beloved's future to make sure he lost nothing. He wanted Juno to breathe easy for once in his life. Sure, he needed to figure himself out, too, and what he was going to do for the rest of his life because Netflix and crochet weren't going to do it for him for long.

But he had all the time in the world.

His heart was beating steadily in his chest. No skipped beats, no staccato rhythm. He could breathe without feeling air-starved, and he could travel if he wanted. He was fine.

And that was the most bizarre feeling of all.

His phone buzzed with an email, and he startled when he saw the address. The service dog breeder had sent him an update. The puppies had been born. He didn't hate the idea of a dog, but he didn't need one now.

However…

Piper hit the number in his contacts, and not long after, Andrew picked up. "Piper?"

"Hey. Sorry to call so late."

Andrew laughed. "Nah, bro. I'm a night owl. What's going on?"

Piper bit his lower lip. "I just got your email, and I…well. I had an idea about the puppy. I don't need the cardiac alert service anymore, but I was wondering if maybe—and this is probably a wild shot in the dark—but maybe you know someone who trains guide dogs? Because I think I know someone who could use the service dog better than me."