Chapter 5

5

C in stood near the doorway of the conference room. Kristen had outdone herself with the office holiday party. The place shimmered with festive cheer. Twinkle lights lined the ceiling, casting golden light that reflected off the tinsel draped across the walls and furniture. Everything sparkled, from the red and gold garlands to the oversized ornaments hanging from the two Christmas trees stationed at either end of the room.

At the center of the room, a table was laden with an array of festive drinks and finger foods. On every platter were miniature holly leaves or candy canes for decoration. Holiday music played beneath the chatter of the people milling about.

It was a perfect holiday scene. Cin stayed near the doorway, hesitant to venture farther in. Instead, she watched from a distance, her eyes occasionally straying to Kristen, glowing in her ivory dress. She probably looked as green as the Grinch as she watched Justin undress Kristen with his eyes.

Kristen's posture was slightly tense as Justin leaned in closer. His loud voice carried across the room, making innuendo after cheap line. Cin wanted more than anything to swoop in and steal her Christmas angel away.

She didn't. Not when it looked like Kristen was getting exactly what she wanted. That didn't stop Cin's protective instincts.

Kristen was the most interesting person Cin had met in a long time, though Kristen herself probably wouldn’t believe it. She didn’t talk much, but Cin had always been fascinated by the quiet ways Kristen worked. How she anticipated everyone’s needs before they even voiced them. Always a step ahead. Her desk proclaimed this loudly. She had pens neatly lined up in a perfect row, each color-coded for a different person in the office. Cin's color was always red.

It wasn’t just Kristen’s organization that intrigued Cin, but the little habits she had. The way she’d pause and carefully consider everything before speaking. Or the way she’d tilt her head slightly when thinking deeply. Kristen saw details that others overlooked. Cin admired that quiet precision. She doubted Justin would ever take the time to notice those things—how effortlessly Kristen held the office together, how much thought she put into everything. But Cin saw it, and that made Kristen all the more captivating.

Cin's fingers drummed against the side of the doorframe, the sound barely audible over the festivities. She felt a mix of frustration and longing. Frustration that Kristen was stuck talking to someone like Justin and longing because she wished she could be the one having a conversation with Kristen. A real conversation, where they could talk about more than work and holiday schedules.

The light caught Kristen's hair as she turned slightly. There were honey golden strands in her brown tresses. Cin's mind wandered back to the moment in the bathroom, to the feel of Kristen's hand in hers, the trust and vulnerability Kristen had shown. That had been a glimpse beyond the shy exterior, a glimpse of the woman Cin found so captivating.

Cin's mind then went to the sultry heat between Kristen's thighs. The softness of her folds as Cin had pressed her Benwa balls into her. Cin swore she’d heard the balls humming inside Kristen. Cin warred with whether or not to ask for them back. She wanted Kristen to keep them, but only after Cin had licked them clean of her essence.

"Hey, baby sis." Noel's arms came around her from behind, pulling her into a tight hug.

There was nothing like a big brotherly hug to dampen a girl's erotic dreams. "Hey, bro. Hi, Mindy."

Noel's new girlfriend entered the room behind him. Mindy's face radiated joy and love. Noel's arms left his sister and wrapped around Mindy's waist. The two moved together like they were in their own little world. Cin felt a pang of envy mixed with happiness for her brother.

"Happy holidays, Cin," said Mindy. "What are you doing for Christmas this year?"

Cin shrugged, trying to sound nonchalant. "No plans, really. Just taking it easy, I guess."

Mindy's eyes widened in disbelief. "No plans? Then you're coming over to our place."

Their place. Her brother and Mindy had only been dating a few days, and they were already an our . They were making their relationship public. Cin couldn't remember the last time she'd brought anyone home for the holidays. She had never had a home that had become an our place.

Cin shook her head, her smile wavering. "Thanks, but I don't want to intrude. You two should enjoy your first Christmas together without me tagging along."

"Don't be stupid, Cinnabun. We'd love to have you."

But Cin didn't want to have to hide her sadness at being alone for yet another Christmas. Or being kept wrapped up so that no one saw her relationship. She wanted to be unwrapped out in the open. She wanted to be presented like a treasured present.

"I just need some time to myself."

Noel gave her a sympathetic look but nodded. "All right, sis. But if you change your mind, you know where to find us."

Noel and Mindy moved away, wrapped up in their blissful world. Cin glanced over at Kristen. She was still talking to Justin. She wasn't smiling anymore. She looked a bit bored. But she also wasn't moving away from him.

That did it for Cin. She knew she couldn't stay at the party, watching from the sidelines as everyone else celebrated. She slipped out the door she'd never fully gone into. As she backtracked, the sounds of the party faded behind her. The hallway was quiet, the only light coming from the soft glow of the Christmas decorations.

Closing the door of her office behind her, Cin shut out the world. Her office was a sanctuary, filled with the tools of her trade and the creations she poured her heart into. Her fingers traced the intricate patterns of a lace design she was working on. The silence was soothing, but it couldn't quite chase away the ache in her chest.

Cin sighed and reached for her phone, hoping for a distraction. A notification popped up from the dating app. She had two new matches.

The first profile was a graphic designer with a passion for hiking and cooking. Sarah was her name. Her profile picture showed her standing on a mountaintop, her face lit up with joy and confidence.

Thumbing down the screen detailed that Sarah was outdoorsy, creative, and seemingly kind. Still, Cin hesitated. She had been down this road before, meeting women who seemed ideal on paper, only to end up heartbroken. But at least Sarah was a card-carrying lesbian. Out in the open.

Cin swiped to the second profile. The woman, Rachel, was a librarian with a love for classic literature and photography. Her profile picture was more subdued, showing her sitting in a cozy nook with a book in her hands, a gentle smile playing on her lips. Something about Rachel’s calm demeanor drew Cin in, but she found herself comparing her to Kristen’s subtly vibrant energy.

Kristen, who was into guys. One guy in particular. A guy who definitely didn't deserve her. But that was a road Cin had been down too often—rescuing a straight woman from a crooked guy.

Cin leaned back in her chair, the leather creaking softly. She felt the weight of a decision pressing down on her. Could she really find love through an app? Could any of these women compare to the connection she felt, albeit one-sided, with Kristen?

Taking a deep breath, Cin decided to take a chance. She clicked on Sarah’s profile and accepted the date.