Chapter 16

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

H utton

Rae looks like an angel while she sleeps. I only know this because it's long past midnight and I'm staring down at her while my brain spins like a rat stuck in a wheel. Her naked lashes sweep down to cover her cheeks. Her breathing is soft and regular, so peaceful to watch, like a metronome of calm. Her tattoos are hard to make out in the darkness, but the splash of colors fascinates me. Here she is, barely making a living babysitting other people's kids in this small town in Idaho, yet she has more common sense than I've heard in years.

Dom just pushes me for the next album. Sure, he checks in on me, but it's always in terms of if his cash cow is doing well enough to keep cranking out the cash. Mom also checks in on me, and she means well, but I don't tell her much of the dark side of this industry. I don't need her worrying about me along with taking care of Dad. He's had more accidents on that damn piece of land of his to keep her busy driving him to and from the emergency room. The last thing she needs is a son bending her ear over his troubles. And then there's Knox, my best friend back in Texas. He'd want to know all the gory details, but I feel like an ass complaining to him when he's in the middle of his own nasty divorce.

I haven't told anyone about the restlessness I've been feeling and keeping at bay for several years now. It was easy to ignore at first. Then it got louder, and I pushed through, nose to the grindstone, even as I got more and more burned out. Now I'm unexpectedly in Idaho, trying to outrun it altogether. I have a bad feeling this little trip isn't healing anything. It's just a way to hide from everything that awaits me once we leave.

Next thing I know, Rae's stirring next to me and Henry's pouncing on the bed, full of energy and ready for another day of Christmas activities the likes of which I've never seen outside of Snowhaven.

"Daddy! Moozic!"

I struggle to sit up in bed, both from the lack of sleep and from Henry's weight on my legs. Rae beams at my boy in his long pajamas, my T-shirt slipping off one of her shoulders.

"Carolers?"

Henry lifts his shoulders, as confused as I am. But then I hear it. Voices raised in song, loud enough for the melody of "Deck the Halls" to be heard. Rae rolls out of bed and steps into a pair of sweats before I've had a chance to scrub a hand over my tired eyes. Henry vaults off the bed into her arms and the two go giggling out of the bedroom to answer the front door. The volume gets louder and I hear my son squeal with delight. Every grumpy thought I had about being woken up early flees in an instant.

Knowing there's no way I can miss this moment, I roll out of bed, slide into jeans and a long-sleeved cotton shirt before heading to the door to stand behind Rae and Henry. I know the exact moment the carolers see me. They go from fa-la-la to silence, mouths agape. Rae looks over her shoulder in shock, like she forgot I'm someone famous. I really freaking like that. I don't want to be Hutton Calder, the country singer with her. I just want to be a man, enjoying time with a woman.

Putting my arm around Rae's shoulder and snuggling close to Henry, I give the group a magnanimous grin. "Don't stop on my account. You sound amazing."

The woman in the front of the pack, the one with the Christmas tree headband with twinkle lights and a holiday sweater featuring the back end of a reindeer, clears her throat. "I'm sure our voices aren't what you're used to."

I smirk. "I'm used to my voice, and quite frankly, I'm sick of that guy. Let me hear yours."

"Daddy, sing!" Henry says, then tucks his head under Rae's chin, peeking up at the strangers.

The woman smiles. "Would you like to sing one with us?"

I look over at Rae, who gives me a smile that makes me wish all these people would get out of here so I could take her back to her warm bed. "I've never heard you sing. At least, not in person."

I shoot her a wink and step away from them to take a stance next to the blinking woman. I give her a once-over. "I feel a bit underdressed for this."

She cackles and takes the headband off her head to hand it to me. "This'll fix everything."

If only an obnoxious blinking headband could fix everything, I'd wear this stupid thing every day. I put it on, earning myself a snicker from Rae and an encouraging smile from my boy. I turn to the group, seeing a whole lot of people I don't know. They all smile back.

"Do you know ‘Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer'?"

A teen with braces and a ski hat covering a mop of curls speaks up. "My grandma actually did get run over by a deer."

"But not a rein deer," a guy says from the back.

"Close enough," the teen argues.

A middle-aged woman elbows him and directs her statement to me. "I'm sure you'll be fine. Let's sing what Hutton Calder wants to sing." Her smile looks a little scary. "Would you sign something for me afterward?"

This is getting away from me. "Sure, but why don't we sing ‘It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas' instead?"

The group nods their agreement, the teen giving me a fist-bump of approval for the song change. I clear my throat and the woman next to me gestures for me to begin. I do, feeling all kinds of awkward singing a Christmas song to Rae and Henry with a bunch of strangers next to me. But then two of them jump in to sing the next line and we sound…good. Not great, but damn good for a bunch of amateurs. The second verse is better than the first. I'm having fun, singing for the fun of it. Everyone around me doesn't care if they sound good, they're just singing because they can. By the time we finish the song, we've all linked arms, swaying to the music like old friends.

Henry cheers once we end the song and wiggles to get down so he can join our group. Rae claps, her eyes looking glassy as she smiles at me. I pull Henry into my arms and we hug each caroler goodbye. I end up having to sign some hats, shirts, and the woman with the questionable sweater has me sign her bra. Eventually, they move on to the next house and I rush back inside, shaking from the cold.

"Wow. That was…" Rae begins, looking at me and shaking her head.

"Amazingly fun? I mean, other than signing the bra, they didn't treat me any different. I just…sang."

I'm not doing a good job putting into words how much I loved that. Just singing because I love to sing. Because music has a way of bringing strangers together and instantly bonding them. I don't know exactly what happened there, but I'm buzzed. More so than when I get done with a show to a sold-out arena because I'm not sweaty or exhausted. I'm…happy. I stare at the Christmas tree and bask in the feeling.

"Hey, choir boy," Rae whispers, putting her arm around my waist and steering me toward her bedroom. I lift my eyebrows and my hand goes right to my jeans, ready to push them down and follow her to bed. Then I remember I have a son in the room and I tamp down my baser desires.

"What?"

Rae waits until we're in her room. Her voice comes out in a low rush. "I absolutely loved hearing you sing, but are you sure what just happened is okay? I mean, Snowhaven is good at keeping a secret, but I doubt that group is going to be able to keep your participation under wraps. Susan had you sign the front of her sweatshirt, for crap's sake. Don't even get me started on the bra."

The happy glow fades a bit at her words, realizing that I did just put my face out there in a big way. I wouldn't blame them for talking about me. Just because I want to stay under the radar doesn't mean everyone else is obligated to keep my secret under wraps. Then again, what's the harm in people knowing I'm here? It's not like Snowhaven is easy to get to from a big city. Paparazzi will absolutely stand out around here if they descend on the town. That warm glow that came from singing fuels my response.

"You know what? We should own it."

Rae's eyes widen. "Own you being in Snowhaven? Or own the fact that you slept over at my house?"

I hook an arm around her waist and pull her in tight. "Own both."

Her eyebrows draw together. "You want to be connected to me? Romantically? Because that's what owning it would mean."

I smooth a hand down her back, wishing she didn't sound so shocked about that. Why wouldn't I want to be linked romantically to her? She's far prettier than my ex-wife and a thousand times sweeter. She's a better mom to my boy and a damn fine cook. She paints like Michaelangelo and donates her time to the children's theater. She's practically a goddamn saint.

"Rae Dunn, will you be my girl?" I flash her a smile, knowing full well how cheesy that line is and going with it anyway.

Her cheeks take on a pink hue that I like very much. She sways us back and forth, her hands on my waist. "Only if you upgrade from my hall pass to my choir boy."

I don't answer, I just belt out a line. "O holy night. The stars are brightly?—"

She cuts me off with a kiss, both of us laughing. She pulls away with a sweet grin I don't ever want to go a day without. The thought hits me like that reindeer hit that poor kid's grandma, but Rae's holding my hand and tugging me out of the room to the kitchen, where Henry has made an absolute mess of the bowl of cereal he was trying to pour. I get busy cleaning up and the thought slips away in all the chaos.

"Let's go out to breakfast," I announce, dumping the last of the milk-soaked paper towels into the trash can. "Does Snowhaven have a diner?"

Rae looks over from the open refrigerator where she was probably planning to make us waffles from scratch because that's the type of woman she is. "We have Yolks & Yodels."

I grin at the ridiculous name. "Sounds perfect. Get dressed, sugar."

We arrive at the diner in my truck, all bundled up and sporting growling stomachs. The woman who greets us wears an old-fashioned uniform dress with her name embroidered on the right side. She hugs Rae and seats us in a cracked leather booth in the back corner. She also hands Henry a pencil with a Christmas tree for an eraser, which he proceeds to declare is the best present ever. The menu is one that was printed decades ago and slid into a plastic sleeve that has seen some things over the years. Even the prices seem to be from decades ago.

Rae unzips her suede jacket to reveal a cap-sleeved navy sweater with reindeer dancing across the front. She looks like someone familiar, but I can't put my finger on it. Rae catches me staring and shimmies her shoulders.

"Felt kind of festive after those carolers this morning. I remembered I had an old sweater at the back of the closet that someone gave me a few years ago and I never wore. Like it?"

She looks like the girl next door who steals your heart and leaves you panting every time she's near. "I love it."

I want to tell her she should get more Christmas sweaters but someone claps me on the shoulder. Hard. I look up to see Aksel glaring at me.

"Hey, man. Everything okay?" I slide out of the booth to shake his hand. The Viking pulls me closer, glancing over my shoulder before coming back to me.

"I have a problem. In fact I was on the way to Rae's to ask you a favor."

I nod. "Sure, ask away." Must be something huge if he's seeking me out instead of staying home with Morgana and his daughters.

"Doc can't do the Santa suit again this year and it's tomorrow night. I'd do it but I already promised Hig I'd head up the bow and arrow event." Aksel had explained to me the day I got here that he'd partnered with a local guy named Hig Lindley to build the hunting lodge next door to the Havenkirk Ski Lodge. The new facility is set to open in the spring.

I'm confused though. I don't know anyone in this town, let alone someone who could play Santa for the kids. "Um…"

Aksel moves in even closer, well into my personal space. "That's why I need you to don the suit."

I gape at him. "What?" I hiss.

Aksel gives me an innocent look. "All the kids are expecting Santa, including Henry, I'm sure. You can't let them down."

"Me?" I shake my head, voice rising.

"Shh," Aksel hisses, looking around the diner like someone will overhear us and the biggest secret to hit Snowhaven will get out. "Are you in or not, Calder?"

Well, crap. I can't let down my new friend. Or Rae. Or the kids. My whole purpose here is to give Henry the kind of Christmas he deserves. If I say no, I'll basically be admitting I'm the biggest Scrooge to hit Snowhaven. My shoulders droop. "Fine."

Aksel gives me a serious nod. "Good. Six o'clock. Meet me in the kitchen at the lodge."

I give him a curious look. "That's where you keep the suit?"

Aksel doesn't smile. "No, dumbass. That's where Dagny works and she wants to get a selfie with you."

He stalks out of the diner and I watch him go, not certain if he was kidding or not.

"Everything okay?" Rae asks, pulling me out of my thoughts.

I slide back into my side of the booth. I nod, but wait until we've ordered and Henry digs into his waffle with the whipped cream smile and strawberries for eyeballs. Leaning over the table, I tell Rae what's going on, spelling out the key word I don't want Henry to hear.

"He said I have to play S-A-N-T-A tomorrow night at the lodge."

Her eyes go wide right before she throws her head back and laughs. God, she's pretty.

"What?" I ask, not following what's so funny.

She just keeps laughing, so I dig into my omelette and bacon, grumbling the whole time about the weird people of Snowhaven, Idaho.