Chapter Five

West

“It’s been…almost a year, hasn’t it?” Alex asked, shutting the door behind me.

“Yes,” I whispered, taking in the sparse but elegant office. Steel-gray walls. Hardwood floors, stained black but with veins of silver highlighting their imperfections. Everything was modern and minimalist. A simple black desk. A large leather chair. Files lined up. Five pens in a straight row to the right of the desk.

He set his glass of whiskey, neat, on the desk. “Please sit down, Alex. I can’t believe it’s been a year.” My back warmed where he gently touched me, guiding me to the seat opposite his desk. As I sat down, I couldn’t help tracing his movements with my stare. I didn’t remember him being so purposeful, so graceful and yet, power emanated from him, so palpable I could reach out and breathe it in, lean into it, let it shelter me.

“In one week. One week,” I repeated, not able to wrap my head around the fact either. Some days, it felt like he had been gone a week and sometimes, the hours dragged on and on until I was sure Emile had been gone a decade.

“How are you?” he asked. “Didn’t think I would see you here.”

I shrugged. “We had…we have…I have a membership.” This was harder than I thought but at the same time, Alex emanated comfort and safety. I tried to soak in as much of it as possible while I was here—fill up my cup. The damned thing had been a desert for far too long. “Emile bought us a lifetime membership before he passed. He…anyway, I’m here.”

“You didn’t answer the question, West.” My name rolled off his tongue and caressed me in places no one had ever touched.

“Which one?” I asked, feeling the corners of my mouth lift in a smile that felt foreign on my face. The muscles were out of practice.

“The one about how you are doing.”

I breathed in and out, caging my emotions in. They threatened to spill out at any drop of a song or the sight of a sappy commercial. “I’m okay.”

Alex cocked his head to the side. I’d never been a good liar. “It’s okay if you’re not. Emile was your mate. Your alpha. There’s probably a part of you that will never be fully healed, West.”

West. West. West. Emile called me baby or darlin’. Unless there was something serious going on, he never used my name. One of the things that jarred me in the beginning and then…one I eventually let slide. I had let a lot of things slide.

“I’m okay,” I repeated.

Alex nodded. “We order the best bourbon for the bar. You can trust me on that. I do the ordering myself.” His gaze darted to the glass of amber alcohol in my hand. “But I don’t remember you drinking straight alcohol like that. Didn’t you prefer mixed drinks, maybe frozen?”

I huffed out a laugh and recrossed my legs. “I ordered it for show. For something to hold. Didn’t want to look like a newbie.”

Alex swirled his whiskey around in his glass. “Newbies are kind of popular in here. Everyone wants to show a beginner the ropes. And the chains. And the spanking bench. Maybe the fire table if you’re adventurous. Talon has been training another dom.”

My cheeks ignited with a heat I’d never experienced. “I know nothing about this…stuff. Do you?”

Alex’s eyes darkened and then flashed with a gleam of gold. Ah, a glimpse of his wolf coming to the surface. Why, I didn’t know. Emile never let his wolf out. He didn’t like the loss of control. “I might, omega.” He whispered the sentiment but with my shifter hearing, I picked it up, no problem. “Why did you come tonight, West?”

I swallowed against the pressure of the emotions lodged in my throat, trying to make them go back to the depths where I kept them so well. At least, for so long. “Emile bought the membership, and my psychiatrist told me that it might be good to see some friends. The thing is, I don’t have any friends, not for a long time. I have people I know who were Emile’s friends. And…this place has some of them. I thought…”

“You thought you would come here to make friends? With alphas who were friends of Emile?” I shuddered at the danger underlying his tone. No, not danger. Power. Strength.

“Yeah, I can see how ridiculous it sounds now. I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m going to—” I pushed against the arms of the chair to stand and show myself and my pathetic ideas out the front door, when Alex got up and strolled around his desk and put his hand on my shoulder.

“I never said it was a bad idea.”

My knees wobbled as a wave of tingles slid down my body. “I’m not okay,” I blurted. My breath whooshed from my mouth as the weight I’d been dragging around all this time was lifted, if only for a second.

“I know you’re not. I can feel it. Tell me. Tell me everything.”

I swallowed past the knot in my throat. “I don’t want you to think I’m pathetic.”

Alex took both my hands in his. “I would never think that about you. Talk to me. You came here for friends. Here I am. Let me be your sounding board. Maybe I can help.”

Tears flowed down my face as I let my truths pour out. The more I told him, the more relieved I felt. I focused on his forehead, sure that I would find pity in his stare. I could take sympathy from a lot of people but from Alex? No way I could endure that.

“All this time, why didn’t you come to me? Or Talon? Any of us would’ve helped you,” he murmured. “Come here.”

I found myself drawn into his embrace. Letting out something between a moan and a groan, I melted into his warmth. I couldn’t stop the sobs that took over my body. Alex didn’t let me go or tell me to stop crying like Emile would have.

He held me tighter. Whispered loving words into my ear. Caged me in his safe arms. If freedom was being out of this cage, I didn’t want it.

“I…” I pulled back. I’d definitely overstepped the friendship zone. But when I looked up at him, really staring into those deep pools of brown I wanted to dive into and stay forever, I was overcome with need. With a hunger I couldn’t explain.

I leaned up on my tiptoes and pressed my lips to his. Instantly, I expected him to pull back. I was not his mate. He was not mine. I had no business touching him this way.

Alex never pulled away. His full and firm lips caressed mine as he used his palms to press my body against his. “Mmm, omega. You taste so damned good.”