FOUR

ESTELLA

It’s only three nights.

It’s only three nights.

It’s only three nights.

The mantra didn’t reassure me no matter how many times I repeated it.

Graham sung along to Christmas songs as we drove at a glacial pace, both a relief at not getting home sooner, and compacting my nerves.

Reaching over the central column, I placed a hand on his thigh, hoping a connection might bring me some peace.

Graham fixed me with a tight smile before slowly moving my hand off of his thigh and sliding it back to my lap. ‘Need to concentrate on the road, babe.’

‘Yeah. No worries,’ I mumbled as he went back to signing along to the music. Outside, the trees grew in number, the snow thicker amongst the more spaced out homes. The well-styled city clothes were replaced with thicker coats and sturdier boots, tea-cup dogs morphed into big hairy hounds.

The towering steeple of the local church came into view over top of the clustering pines, sending a wave of nausea directly into me. We were far too close.

It’s only three nights.

Leo couldn’t ruin my life in three nights, right? We’d be so busy with all the family events, and the party, that I’d probably barely see him. And if he got too much, I could just go outside. It’s not like he’d follow me.

While my life might not be exactly what I’d envisioned when leaving home, it was pretty good. I glanced at Graham with his stubbled chin and swooping blonde hair. He was still as attractive as the day I met him. A good, solid, dependable man. Sure he was persnickety and looked down his nose at the things I loved sometimes, but he never failed to show up. He never forgot my birthday, or failed to text me in the morning. Our lives were good. My job paid well enough for being fairly low on the rungs, and although it was far duller than I’d imagined, there remained great scope for advancement. The potential in-laws might not exude excitement, but they were far from the dreaded stereotype of in-laws that others lamented about.

Glittering engagement rings and blue capped pregnancy tests were abound amongst our friends, along with moving to town homes and away from grungy little apartments in the city centre. Mortgage rates and matching dinner plates were high on the list of conversation. Everyone was growing up, and I had to grow up with them.

Twisting my hair around my fingers, I bit my lip as more and more familiar sights came into view. The bus stop where my best friend and I would check out the college boys who were far too old for us. The worn gates of the high school, where I struggled to fit in. I so often wished that Leo would have come with me. Instead, I was the new girl with the freak step-brother.

Within minutes, the gates to my mom and Jack’s extensive home came into view. The navigation system directed Graham while my internal panic alarms blared. I gripped the car door until my fingers turned white, memories flooding me with every yard closer we drew.

The rooftop came into view with a wash of intensity I wasn’t prepared for. My muscles stiffened as a series of moments flashed behind my eyes. Leo and I laying beneath a blanket of stars. Leo’s hand grazing mine. Leo kissing me.

‘Are you alright?’ Graham asked, his brows knitting.

‘Yeah,’ I said, blinking back panicked tears. I wasn’t ready to face Leo. But I couldn’t let Graham know that my step-brother had an unhealthy obsession with me. He’d get the ick big time. ‘Sorry, it’s just been a while.’

‘We’re going to have a wonderful time. Plus, you’ve got me to help you through it.’

I only wished that reassured me more than it did.