FIFTEEN

LEO

Frost glittered on the back patio in the low evening sun. Estella wrapped her mother’s old faux fur coat tighter around her shoulders. With the back doors wide open, it almost felt like we were outdoors. The steady thwack of golf balls sounded off to my left, Graham and Jack chumming up and hitting ball after ball into the trees.

Taking the seat next to Estella, we sat in silence, only intercepted by the steady whacking.

My breath misted as I sighed.

‘He’s the son my dad should have had,’ I admitted, watching the easy laughter between them. His ability to go outside was a massive bonus, obviously, but Graham had that wholesome bro going on. If you weren’t relying on him in the sack, he seemed like a great catch.

Estella stared out into the sparkling beyond, ignoring me completely. God, for a woman who’d just been finger fucked to oblivion, you’d think she could crack a smile .

Maybe Graham was the man she deserved, too.

A decent, above board job. Boring fucking hobbies. Dick like a bloody wine bottle. The ability to step outside of the house like a normal human being. Graham hit on all accounts.

But I wanted Estella more.

I needed her.

Running a hand over my face, I took in her perfect profile in the dying sunlight. The tender slope of her nose, the long, thick lashes, the dusting of freckles she could never conceal despite her attempts.

She didn’t know I had the exact dusting of freckles as one of the many constellations, the one etched directly over my heart.

The sun dipped behind the trees, and I found myself scanning the sky for the first glimmering dot. It was far too early, but whenever the sun gave up it’s hold on the day, the urge to look up pulled at me.

‘Do you remember sneaking up onto the roof and trying to count the stars?’ I asked.

Estella finally looked at me, her kohl lined eyes narrowing. Looking to find my angle. Always so sceptical.

‘Yeah, I remember,’’ she conceded.

‘They were my favourite nights.’ Her mouth lifted at the edge as I spoke. ‘You’d tell me all about the stupid shit going on at school, building me a window into your life when I didn’t have one of my own.’

‘You loved to gossip more than half the girls in my class. ’

‘I loved to hear you gossip. I never cared much about the world outside of that. But I’d have listened to hours of it just to be near you.’

‘Leo,’ she whispered, her eyes slipping from mine. ‘You need to stop this.’

‘I can’t. I tried.’

We sat watching the outside world grow dimmer. Estella spoke softly, only a whisper above the breeze.

‘I miss those nights, too.’

Her words hit me like a whole spray of little love darts. She missed them. She missed me.

‘I still go up there sometimes,’ I admitted. ‘I look up at those same stars and imagine you doing the same from your place in the city.’

‘I can’t see them in the city,’ she said.

‘A travesty, indeed. It sounds like the city has taken everything from you.’

A line formed between her brows when she glared at me. ‘What do you mean?’

‘Can you tell me you’re happy there? That any part of your life feeds your soul?’ She picked at the edge of the seat, taking her time to answer.

‘The food sure kicks ass,’ she remarked, a fake little giggle following her words. Graham walked onto the patio, slapping my dad on the back and gripping a gold club with the other hand. Estella’s eyes rounded as he approached. And there it was. A nugget of regret stealing in and making her frown.

It was enough.

Enough to know she could be swayed.