Chapter Twenty-Six

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

Two days later, we anchored outside of Athens on a balmy August morning. It was the last place Theo had work to tend to, and he was desperate to wrap up and spend a couple more weeks on a true vacation with me before we headed back to the States.

Back to the States — together .

It made me giddy any time I thought of it, flying in his private jet back to New York City. I had no idea what would happen after that, what my parents would think when I told them everything that transpired over the summer, or where we would live, or if I’d go back to Colorado and he’d stay in New York. There was so much to discuss, which was another reason Theo was anxious to get his work done so we could have the time to figure it all out.

He was off the boat as soon as we anchored, and I watched the tender take him to shore as I sipped my coffee and breathed in the fresh sea air. I was still all bliss and sunshine, high off love when an idea struck me.

“I want to make Theo dinner,” I told Emma, slightly out of breath by the time I found her down in the crew mess. She was trying to have her own breakfast in peace — coffee and a blueberry scone — but she chuckled at the sight of me and gestured for me to have a seat across from her.

“What do you have in mind?”

“Well, back home, I learned how to make a delicious pan-fried trout from my mom. It’s kind of a rite of passage growing up in Colorado.” I cringed. “Any way we could find some trout here?”

Emma chuckled again. “Aspen, you’re dating a billionaire. The word impossible doesn’t apply to you anymore. Not with money like that at your fingertips.”

I blushed, tucking my hair behind my ear. “Well, I want to pay for dinner, too. Here,” I said, fishing my card out of my pocket and handing it to her. “Charge it to that.”

“You know we have a card specifically for getting provisions, right?” Emma asked with an arched brow.

“Yes, I know, but I haven’t spent a single dime of my own money in what feels like forever and I…” I rolled my lips together, thinking of all Theo had done for me, and how I desperately wanted to do something special for him, too. “Just let me do this.”

Emma shook her head on a smile, but took my card anyway and told me to give her a list before noon so she could get everything I needed.

I spent the better half of the morning planning out the meal, considering what type of salad I wanted to make, what appetizer and dessert would complement the trout, and thinking of the best wine pairing. Even though I didn’t drink, I knew Theo appreciated a good bottle of wine, and I wanted the night to be perfect.

Once Emma had my list, she took the second stewardess to shore for provisions and I changed into my swimsuit, climbing my way up to the sun deck with a fresh lemonade in hand, thanks to Claude. I spent the afternoon sunning and reading and waiting for four o’clock when I could video chat my sister without her killing me for calling too early.

“Well, if it isn’t my too-busy-traipsing-around-Europe-to-call-home sister,” Juniper answered with a yawn, her dorm room still completely dark. I knew by now she was back at CU, and when she flicked on the lamp on her bedside table, I smiled at the familiar set up of a dorm similar to the one I had called home for four years.

I smiled even more at the familiar sight of my tired sister with a messy bun piled on top of her head.

“Good morning, Juni,” I said cheerily. So much so that she groaned and rolled her eyes before sitting up more in bed.

“Morning. A little too early in the morning for my taste.” But she smiled with the jest. “It’s good to see you. We haven’t talked in forever. How the hell are you?” She paused, frowning at the screen. “I guess the better question is where the hell are you.”

I laughed, getting up out of my chair and walking the phone over to the railing. I showed Juniper the coast of Athens in a slow panoramic while she groaned in jealousy.

“I can’t believe that’s your life right now.”

At that, I turned the camera back around to face me with a grimace. “Um… do you have a Keurig or something there in your dorm?”

“Yes,” she said, cocking a brow. “Why?”

“Because you’re going to need some caffeine for everything I’m about to tell you.”

I hadn’t talked to Juniper or anyone back home since before Joel left the boat. Everything had just happened so fast, and then I was caught up in Theo, and before I knew it, a month had gone by.

So, I started where we left off last time, telling my sister about my frustrations with Joel, how he wouldn’t talk to me about the pool party incident, and how things just got colder and colder between us while everything between Theo and I sparked into a hot flame. I told her about Capri, about Joel breaking up with me and how I was supposed to be kicked off the boat, but then lo and behold it ended up being him who was kicked off. I told her about the grand theft and how Theo asked me to stay and filled her in on all that had transpired between me and Theo since.

There was a myriad of emotions coming from her end, from red-faced punches into her pillows at what Joel did to me, to running her hands back through her hair like a crazy person as she tried to understand everything that went down, to leaning her chin on her hands close to the screen, swooning over Theo’s little gallery surprise.

By the time I finished, I’d practically worn a hole in the sun deck from pacing back and forth, and Juniper was on her third cup of coffee.

“Say something,” I said after a long silence.

She shook her head, sipping her coffee with a dazed look on her face. “I’m speechless. I mean… I’m appalled at Joel. I have no idea what got into him.”

I sighed. “Me either. Part of me wonders if maybe he was doing more than just drinking…”

“You think drugs?”

“Maybe,” I said. “He just wasn’t himself. Or if he was, then I didn’t know him at all, and the boy I fell in love with never really existed.”

“Maybe he has always led two lives, you know? The one here and the one on yachts. I mean, I can’t imagine living that lifestyle.” She arched a brow then. “Well, okay, I can imagine living it the way you are now, but not as crew.”

I laughed.

“Seriously — you’re dating Theo fucking Whitman , Sis.” She lowered her voice as if someone would hear her. “He said he loves you! ”

“I know.”

“And you’re yachting around the Mediterranean on a million-dollar yacht.”

“I know.”

“And he rented out a whole freaking gallery and filled it with your photographs!”

I chuckled, flushing so hard I pressed my cool fingertips to my cheeks. “I know. I know!” I sighed on a smile. “How is this real?”

“Your guess is as good as mine,” Juniper said with a chuckle. “But I’m happy for you. Because you look happy. Happier than I’ve ever seen you. You have this new way about you, like… like you’re confident, and sure.”

I smiled again. “That’s how I feel with him. It’s like I’ve been waiting to be this person all my life, but I was afraid or something. I don’t know.”

“He brings out the best in you,” Juniper said softly.

“Even better — he makes me feel like the worst of me is still worthy of being loved.”

Juniper clasped her hands over her heart. “Stop. I need to watch a rom-com stat.”

I laughed, and then we launched into conversation about school and her volleyball season. We laughed together thinking of what Mom and Dad would say when they found out about me and Theo, especially if I ended up moving to New York. And before we ended the call, Juniper made me promise that I would bring Theo home to meet her before we settled.

She also made me promise her a trip to the Bahamas since Theo’s friend owned an island down there.

I ended the call with my already high spirits floating even higher, and just in time for Emma to bound back onto the ship with dinner supplies in tow. The sun began to set over the water, and I rested my hands on the railing, watching the golds turn to purples and blues with my heart full and light in my chest.

Everything was absolutely perfect.

***

A couple hours later, I bopped along to a HAIM song in the galley while seasoning the trout. The sun had fully set, and Theo would be back on the boat any time now. He’d sent me a text letting me know he was wrapping up and had to make a few stops on his way back to the boat, but it wouldn’t be long.

I was so excited you would have thought I was about to accept a Pulitzer Prize rather than serve my boyfriend dinner.

Boyfriend .

I giggled at the title.

I felt free in a silly sort of way, dancing alone in the kitchen. Once Emma had dropped the provisions off earlier, I gave her and the rest of the crew the evening off, encouraging them to go explore Athens. At first, she’d declined, insisting that Theo would be upset if they went without his permission. But I gave her a look to let her know it wasn’t so much a suggestion as a hey, I want the night alone with Theo, so get lost. She’d laughed and thrown her hands up in surrender, letting the rest of the crew know, and they’d taken the tender to shore where Wayland would wait for Theo to bring him back onboard.

Captain Chuck was still here, though, up in the pilothouse. I hoped he couldn’t hear my horrible singing as I moved my hips to the beat, but honestly, even if he could, I was too wrapped up in my happy feelings to stop myself.

As I prepped the fish and the appetizers, I couldn’t help but smile, thinking back over the past few months. There had been so much pain, but also so much new discovery that the hurt was worth it. It was almost impossible for me to try to remember the girl I’d been when I’d first stepped foot on this boat, when my stomach had turned so violently I thought I’d be ill.

The me who existed then had been quiet, and shy, and reserved. She’d been lost, not knowing who she was or where she was going, not confident enough to even look a stranger in the eyes for longer than a quick moment. She hid behind her camera and lived life through the people she captured, never even considering that she could live a full life of her own.

I couldn’t remember that version of myself, but I would always remember the way I felt that first time I laid eyes on Theo Whitman.

My stomach did a little flip at the memory, and I shook my head in disbelief that I could call him mine now. He’d be back soon, and I’d be serving him dinner, and then we’d end the night tangled up in each other.

I bit my lip, doing a little dance as I moved the trout over to the hot pan on the stove. It was already bubbling with butter and garlic and herbs, and when I gently lay the filet inside, it all sizzled to life.

“Mmm,” I hummed, doing another little hip shake. “Perfect.”

Suddenly, there was a thunderously loud thump from somewhere upstairs.

I paused, frowning as I waited to hear if anything else came after. “Chuck?” I called. I didn’t even know if he could hear me all the way down here.

After a moment of nothing else, I shrugged, tending to the trout and singing along to the stereo again. But then there was more noise, something like the faint sound of voices and steps on the stairs.

I frowned, pausing the music, but then silence blanketed me.

“Theo?” I called up the stairs, wiping my hands on the dish towel. “Is that you?”

I heard the faint murmur of voices again, and I wondered if Emma and the crew had come back earlier than expected. Or maybe it was Wayland and Theo, or Theo talking to Captain Chuck.

I didn’t want to leave the fish unattended, but I took a few steps up the stairs and called out again.

“Hello? Everything okay?”

For a long moment, there was nothing but silence.

Then, someone rounded the corner upstairs, and it was so dark that they were nothing but a shadow at first. I narrowed my eyes, trying to peer through the darkness, and when my vision steadied, my heart leapt into my throat.

No.

It can’t be.

But it was.

Joel slowly descended the stairs, one by one, taking his sweet time as his glazed eyes narrowed in on me. His dark hair was greasy and matted, his eyes hollow and underlined with dark circles.

I backed away with every step he took down until my hips hit the counter of the galley island.

“Well, well, well,” Joel said when his feet hit the bottom stair. He stood there for a minute, taking in the scene — the trout on the stove, the half-made salad in a large bowl, the mixing bowl full of what would have eventually become a cheesecake. When his eyes met mine again, I noted how red they were, how wide his pupils were dilated, and my stomach shriveled up at the sight. “Look who’s still on board. What a lovely surprise.”

“Joel,” I whispered.

“Oh, baby,” he cooed with a wicked grin, taking a few more steps toward me. “I always did love it when you said my name.”

My eyes flicked to the gun in his right hand, and I swallowed, heart throbbing in my ears. I’d never seen Joel hold a gun, let alone shoot one, not in all the years I’d known him. And that only made me fear the situation even more.

“Look, I don’t know what’s going on,” I said, holding my hands up as I backed away more, slowly, one steady step at a time across the galley. “But Theo doesn’t have to know you were here. Okay? Just… just go, and I won’t say a word.”

Joel tilted his head at that, frowning for a second before he let out a loud laugh. “Oh, Theo will know I was here,” he said. “Especially because his precious little safe is being drained upstairs right at this very moment. I wish I could stay to see his face when he finds it empty, but alas,” he said, holding his hands out wide as if that sentence could finish itself.

I forced a steady breath, even though my heart was pounding so hard I thought I would pass out. I didn’t know how Joel got here or who was with him, but one thing I knew for sure was that he wasn’t himself. He was on something, he had to be. Only drugs could have his skin that thin and ghastly, his eyes underlined with dark bags, the whites of them stained with red. His pupils were still wide, even in the galley light now, and they were constantly bouncing, like they couldn’t focus at all.

With whatever was in his system and that gun in his hand, I needed to tread lightly.

“Joel,” I said softly, and this time I took a tentative step toward him instead of away, hoping it would settle his defenses. “This isn’t you.”

“Oh, this is very much me,” he sneered back, glaring at me with a menacing gaze.

I shook my head, but Joel slammed his hand on the wall before I could argue further.

“You don’t think I have a right to be pissed off?!” he screamed. “I have worked my ass off for years , Aspen. Years! And that prick took away everything .” He narrowed his eyes at me then. “Including you , it seems.”

I didn’t want to argue that it was Joel who had thrown his future away when he committed his grand theft, especially not since he apparently hadn’t learned his lesson. So I just nodded, holding my hands out like he was a wild animal and I was trying to coax him into a cage.

“I understand,” I said.

“No, you don’t. You don’t understand, Aspen. And you know what? I don’t either.”

I frowned.

“I don’t understand why you,” he said, pointing the gun straight at my chest as he took a few more steps toward me. Fear prickled at the back of my neck, but I held my chin high, not backing down. “Are still on this fucking boat.”

The fish started to burn, the smell of charred meat only adding to the nausea rolling through me now. Joel’s gaze shifted to the stove, and then he smirked, shaking his head.

“Are you cooking for him, Aspen?” he asked, tilting his head when he looked at me again. “Did he hire you as a new chef?”

I swallowed as Joel started circling me like a shark, and when he was behind me, I looked around desperately for something to defend myself. The knife I’d been using on the fish was on the far side of the island, but if I moved slowly and kept him talking, I thought maybe I could grab it.

“No,” Joel answered himself, shaking his head with a click of his tongue as he rounded me again. He was tapping his chin with the barrel of the gun like it wasn’t a deadly weapon that could blow his face off with one wrong move. “That wouldn’t make sense. You’ve always been a terrible cook.”

I slowly stepped away from him, backing around the edge of the island.

“You’re not wearing a uniform, so I can assume you’re not a new stewardess, either. So, why else would you be here, in his galley, on his boat, a full month after I, your boyfriend and the whole reason you were here in the first place, was kicked off of it?”

Slow steps. Inches at a time.

“Unless of course…” Joel smiled, shaking his head before he lunged at me so quickly I screamed and slammed into the back galley counter where the sink was, crying out at the flash of pain through my hip. “You’re fucking him.”

“Joel, please,” I said, holding my hands up to ward him off. “You’re scaring me.”

“Am I?” he asked, his eyes manic, the smile that slid over his lips like that of a man on the edge of reality. He let out a long, unhinged laugh, his head tilting back with the gesture. Then, he steadied, his gaze falling back on me. “Oh, baby, I’m sorry. Come here.”

He held open his arms, the gun still wrapped in his right hand, and his eyebrows pinched together as he watched me.

“Come, let me hold you,” he said again, gesturing for me to come to him.

I stood rooted in place, heart thundering in my chest. My eyes flicked to the knife on the island, and that hesitancy made Joel snap.

He growled, his arms swinging wildly until he found grip on the crystal wine glasses I’d picked out for the evening. He smashed one and then the other, little specks of crystal flying all around us before he threw the bottle of wine at the door, too. It splintered into a mess of glass and red liquid as he heaved in a beastly breath, his nose flaring, jaw muscles ticking incessantly.

“I SAID COME HERE!”

I jumped at the command, tears pricking my eyes as I walked toward him, all the while looking at the knife on the counter longingly.

Suddenly, the trout caught fire on the stove, sending up a large flame, and it caught Joel’s attention long enough for me to dive for the knife.

But I didn’t reach it.

I was scrambling for the handle of it over the countertop when Joel cursed, and just as my fingertips touched the wooden grip of the weapon, I was struck in the back of the head.

I didn’t register it at first. It felt like it was happening to someone else, like it was a movie and I was just a member in the audience. I felt the blow hard and quick, heard the clunk of what I assumed was the butt of his gun hitting my skull, but it didn’t hurt. The force of it sent me hurling against the island, though, and I tried to catch my fall, but my head was already swimming.

My arms didn’t lock to catch myself, and so my head flew forward from where the blow struck me from behind, bouncing off a corner of the counter. I felt that sickening crack , and it seemed to signal to my body that it was okay to feel the first one, too.

I tumbled to the ground as my hand stretched out and missed the knife, knocking it to the floor with me, but too far out of reach.

When I landed, it was with a thud that rendered me immobile.

The pain hit me all at once, the throbbing at the back of my head, the sharp, shooting pain from the cut on my crown, and the panic that no matter how I tried, I couldn’t move.

Blood leaked into the corner of my eye, and when I looked up, Joel was towering over me with a twisted smile. In the commotion, the pan I’d been searing the trout in had toppled, too, and now there was a small, but building, fire behind Joel, casting his silhouette in a burning haze.

“I didn’t want to believe it when Ivy told me.” He shook his head, nose flaring, eyes growing wilder and wilder. “She said she saw you two together. She said Theo was fucking you, but I told her it wasn’t possible.” He laughed at that. “I said, not Aspen. Not my sweet girlfriend who barely fucks me , let alone anyone else. Guess the joke’s on me, huh?”

I didn’t have strength to respond, not even to remind him that he was cheating on me , too. He wasn’t innocent. He wasn’t a victim. I wished with everything I had in me that I could reach the knife, that I could drive it into his foot and run away, that I could escape this monster once and for all.

But I couldn’t do anything but lie there.

Joel shook his head the longer I went without responding, and then, he reared back and kicked me hard in the stomach. “I should have never brought you on this boat, you ungrateful bitch,” he seethed.

I think I groaned. I think I doubled over in pain, but my head was so fuzzy, my vision darkening, that I couldn’t be sure of anything anymore.

“Better yet, I should have kicked your boring, prude ass to the curb years ago. God knows I could have had any girl I wanted at CU.” He paused. “But there’s just something about you, Aspen Dawn,” he added with a smirk, tilting his head as he watched me writhe on the floor. “Seems Theo has fallen under your spell, too.”

Then, he leaned down close enough for me to see the veins popping out in his forehead.

“But here’s my promise, baby,” he whispered, not giving a single care to the fire spreading more and more, the black smoke thickening around us.

I wanted to cough.

I needed to cough, but nothing came.

“If I can’t have you? No one can.”

Joel tilted his head one way and then the other, watching me, waiting for a reaction. When he didn’t get one, he stood straight again, and like a slow-motion nightmare, he pointed the gun directly at my head.

And I knew now what it was.

That feeling I’d had that first day on the boat, when the sun was high and warm on my neck in Barcelona — the way my stomach had somersaulted like we were in a deep sea storm even though we were still tied up at the dock.

It was a warning.

I didn’t see it then, didn’t recognize it as anything more than nerves and maybe a little sorrow swimming in my gut.

But now, with the blood pooling around my head, soaking into the teak and my hair all the same, I understood.

It was a warning.

The universe knew long before I did the way this all would end, and it cautioned me the only way it knew how.

But I ignored it.

Now, as the blackness invaded my vision, the splitting ache at the crown of my head going numb, I caught one last glimpse of the man responsible for it all and I wondered how I never saw it coming.

How did I never see what he was capable of, when pushed, when threatened?

How did I ever let him hold me, kiss me, have me in every way there is to be had?

How did I fall for the lie those eyes told, for the heart within that chest, for a man so evil?

They say love is blind, and in most cases, I imagine that means you look past the faults of those you love — how they leave the cap off the toothpaste or throw their dirty clothes on the floor — or perhaps past your own inhibition telling you that maybe you could do better, that maybe you deserve more.

In this case, it meant death.

Through the fiery haze, the smoke and the flames, the broken crystal and the last fragments of my heart — I saw the smirk of victory on his face.

I tried to ask him why, but it came out as a cough instead, the blood around my mouth bubbling with the effort.

And then, everything went dark.