12. Angelina

Chapter 12

Angelina

Being a wolf is like nothing I have experienced before. It is similar enough to being a normal woman in most ways, but in all the ways that really matter, it is completely different.

It is being both a woman and wolf all at once. Two parts of me agreeing, and disagreeing just as often, but still moving in perfect harmony. Woman and wolf, both stubborn and wild. This is strange, and new at the same time.

Familiar, and yet still mind-blowing.

She and I are free. Freer than I had ever been as a human, and freer than any wolf could possibly be. Now I could sniff at a plant, and immediately tell if it was doing well or about to die. I could tell when it rained last.

All of this is incredible to me' and I can't help the fact that I am envious of the Lycans who had gotten to experience this for the entirety of their lives.

We have spent the night rolling around and mock fighting with imaginary rogues. My wolf is black as midnight and almost twice my weight.

She had spent the night running and jumping and sniffing and learning, and we both enjoyed the experience completely.

We are vain and empowered and it is nothing short of glorious.

Currently I did not know where Williem was but we both miss him.

I trot over to a scattering of flowers, breathing in the scents they give off, thrilled by this new and surreal way of experiencing the world. Having four legs had been strange at first but now it feels like second nature to me.

A stream of sunlight breaks through the dense foliage, signaling the break of day. I howl one last time at the sky, mourning the retreat of the moon, knowing that with her departure came humanity.

Like it is choreographed, the change swiftly follows, and in contrast to changing from woman to wolf, reverting to woman is almost painless. It is like popping a stiff back and finding relief.

The change ends as quickly as it starts. One moment I am a wolf and all four of my limbs are painfully lengthening, and the next moment I return to having only two legs.

It feels eerie to be human once more. Almost like trying to remember my own name but failing. Having a feeling of deja vu and trying to remember.

I am as naked as the day I was born but I am not bothered about it at all. The cool breeze of the night feels refreshing on my skin, as does the remainder of moonlight.

It feels like the moon is to me what the sun is to a plant; strengthening and enriching and the slightest presence of it is enough to keep me energized.

I have no idea where I am. The last thing I could remember was reaching the perimeter of the territory, so if I have to make a guess, I'd bet I was in the pack's forest.

Feeling a resonance through the bond, somehow, without any reason, I feel like my mate is here. It is a good feeling at its basest, but I am not sure what I should be feeling or how I should be feeling about Williem.

On one hand, he has hurt me by rejecting me as his mate, while knowing exactly what it meant at the time and what deep implications it had.

And on the other hand, I cannot help but feel a need for him. I know I care about him, and some part of me tells me there could be a reason for what he said.

What reason could there be?

He said it plain and clear as day. He would much rather want another person to be his mate, one who knew what it meant to be part of a pack. And he regretted being with me.

The implication of this hurt, and now I knew what two people hurting felt like. Her mate's rejection is just as hurtful to my wolf as it was to me.

But despite this I still hunger for him.

I can't even deny it. The physical and sexual attraction I have for him is almost overpowering in its intensity, and I can't help but think that it isn't what typically comes about with normal people. It is almost dangerous.

Is this what Judd and Alyssa feel?

It would explain a lot honestly. I honestly can understand why they are so intense around each other.

I look around, ears strained so I can get a lock on Williem's location, but I have no such luck. Instead of meandering around aimlessly, I decided to follow the trusty internal compass that had led me to the territory when I was run off the road by the rogues.

I follow it, moving almost in a straight line to get to him.

The moment I see Williem everything else is forgotten. The fight, the rogues, Sierra. Everything.

I walk to my mate on steady legs, sure that he is my mate, confirmed by this undeniable bond; pulsating and reverberating with both of our feelings.

I can see him just as clearly as I can feel him through the bond. Like a node on a string.

"Williem," I start. I want to explain everything to him, and tell him everything I have experienced as a wolf. I want to tell him about my experience with the rogues and how I had killed one all by myself and tried my best to make roadkill of the others.

I want to do so many things with him.

I want him.

I am being driven mad by this desire, the need for him. This need for my mate. I had termed it ‘blue walls' and to be honest, it literally was.

It feels like my walls were contracting and relaxing on the emptiness within that needed to be filled.

I walk to Williem.

"I want to touch you, to feel you." I whisper. "I want to push you to the soft grass beneath us, and ride you until you give all of yourself to me" I finish, but I don't do all that. Not yet at least.

There is almost no time for words and yet, there is an eternity to fill with his touches. Williem is as naked as I am, and raising myself on tiptoes, I can press my lips to his.

Now, I press my body against him and his hardness, my lips crushing into his, hard and demanding, as I wrap a hand around his hardness.

"That feels good, Lina. So good." He praises me, running his hands slowly through my hair. It feels good to be touched and held this way. "I missed you princess. Don't ever leave again, okay?"

Instead of answering him, I slowly pump him to full hardness, stroking the entirety of his length until a pearly drop or precum announces his readiness. This; his unyielding steel hard length, his lips, and his touch, are the only things I need right now.

The only thing we need. She and I. We luxuriate in his touch, first playful and teasing and now sensual.

"Now let me show you what I want to do to you." Williem murmurs, and immediately, he has me on my back, moving so fast that he would normally be a blur.

But now, I can follow all of his movement, and I track him, admiring the sleekness of his muscles as he moves.

I know I am dripping wet, I can feel it, smell it, and hear it as my thighs move against each other.

With one thrust, Williem can be buried to the hilt in me, but he delays my pleasure, choosing instead to thrum my nipples with the tip of a finger.

"Damn you Williem! I want you in me. Stop the teasing. It isn't nice." I complain.

Williems response is to wrap his lips around my nipples, chuckling. His lips send a stream of pleasure straight to my belly and core. Over and over again.

I take matters into my own hands, flipping us over with surprising strength, and impaling myself on his length in one swooping move.

He feels glorious inside me. Throbbing and swollen, his length manages to press against every inch of me.

I could feel every vein and contour of him. Without active thought, my hips begin moving up and down, chasing my own pleasure.

I know it's selfish, but right now all I am concerned with is getting myself over the edge. I increased the speed of my movements, and with it, the volume of my cries rose.

"Yes. Yes. Yes!!!" I scream out my peak as I rise to towering heights. Having this orgasm, with this strange electricity running through me, takes me to another height.

Everything feels almost too much. If I was still completely human, this sensation would have damaged something in my brain for sure.

I can feel Williem swelling inside me as his cock starts shooting loads of his cum in me. Pulsing over and over again, I can feel the warm wetness of him deep inside of me.

"Oh fuck!" His cum shooting in me seems to satisfy another one of these longings and with another cry from my lips an orgasm hits me once again.

Does this never end?

His pleasure hits me again through the bond, triggering a smaller but still powerful orgasm in me. It is a positive feedback loop and although the pleasure I feel is a shadow of his, it's enough to make me quake again.

Our bond finally seems to settle, and everything is no longer vibrating. I can see more of Williem than I had ever thought possible. I can feel what he is feeling at the moment and tell exactly where he is in relation to me.

This is amazing, but at the same time so scary.

Can he see just as much of me?

WILLIEM

Angelina is only lying on me for a moment before she begins to shake her head.

"It isn't real. None of it is." She mutters, extending one hand to push herself off my body as she does so.

"What is it Lina?" I ask. I am worried about her, I can't help it. I had watched over her motionless body for four days before the moon finally came, and with it the relief of knowing she was okay, and a Lycan just like me. "Are you okay?" I finished.

Angelina turns to me, looking at me solemnly for a long moment. She places a hand on my arm and finally speaks.

"I know why you want me physically, but still don't really want me as your mate. I know because it is the same for me.

All you want and I want is to just have sex with each other." She starts, "It is like normal hormones but dialed to eleven. You only want me because of the wolf. And I don't really want you either." My heart breaks hearing her say this.

The rejection from her yet again has my wolf baring his teeth, eager to fight whomever was coming between him and his mate.

The kicker was right there. This person was the very same as the one we couldn't function without.

"Is this what you really want, Angelina? Is this it?" I was no mad man, and the definition of madness was doing the same thing over and over again, while expecting different results wasn't it?

"You've run away from me once. I am not the kind of man who will chase after you over and over again."

I wouldn't hold her against her will if she didn't want to be with me.

When she nods her agreement, I decide there and then to let her be. To let her be happy, even if it meant me being miserable.