28. Ian

Chapter 28

Ian

I opened my eyes, but the bright white light made me close them again. For a second, I thought the bright light meant I’d died and gone to heaven. When I opened my eyes again, I realized I was in a hospital room.

It took a while for my eyes to adjust to the light and even longer for me to adjust to the blinding pain at my side. Everything came back to me in that moment. My fight with Fred, the moment he stabbed me, Hazel walking into the apartment and me knocking the knife out of Fred’s hand.

I remembered her yelling for help and my neighbors showing up to hold Fred. I remembered being in her arms and confessing that I loved her. I thought I would never see her again, so I had to tell her how I felt.

I looked to my side, and I saw her. Hazel was sitting beside me, holding my hand. She hadn't realized I was awake. Her eyes are focused on where her thumb was massaging the back of my hand.

For a while, all I did was stare at her. She was so beautiful, even when her eyes were red. I could tell she’d been crying, and it broke my heart to know that. I hated seeing her cry. I’d much rather see her yell at me.

“A little to the left,” I said, jokingly telling her where I needed her massage.

Hazel turned to me, eyes wide with joy. “Ian!” she squealed as she threw her arms over me. Her vanilla scent washed over me, pushing out the strong smell of drugs and disinfectants.

I’d never liked coming to hospitals. When I was a kid, I went to the hospital to see my dad. Seeing him in bed, looking drained and tired made me incredibly uncomfortable. It was the reason I did my best to avoid hospitals.

They’d brought him to the hospital to save him, but he ended up dying in one, leaving my mother to raise Jade and me alone. She did a great job, and she never let us see the pressure she was under.

Hazel hugged me tighter, and I groaned in pain. She pulled away so quickly that she bumped into the chair behind her. “Oh no, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine,” I said, doing my best to conceal just how much it hurt. I was definitely going to ask the nurse for some pain meds soon. I guess I didn’t really feel the pain because I was unconscious. Now that I was awake, it hurt real bad.

I looked at Hazel. She had a guilty look in her eyes that made my pain seem temporarily unimportant. I reached for her. “Come here.”

She shook her head and moved further away from me. “No. What if I hurt you again?”

“You’re worth the pain,” I said with my arm still extended. Hazel was hesitant at first, but she finally walked over to me. I sat up and pulled her into my arms.

“I was really scared,” she said. Her voice was muffled by my shoulder, but I could hear the terror in her words. “When I came in and I saw all that blood, I thought… I thought I lost you.”

I kissed her forehead. “You didn’t lose me.”

Hazel sighed and pulled away slightly so she could look at me. “I should tell your mom and Jade that you’re awake. They will want to see you.” She walked to the door but paused before stepping out. “Wait here.”

“That’s a terrible joke,” I said, but I laughed.

When she left, I relaxed into the bed and sighed in relief when the pain subsided. I should have told Hazel to get a nurse as well so I could ask for something to help with the pain. It didn’t even occur to me when she was still here because I was busy thinking about the last thing I said to her before I passed out.

I told her I loved her but she didn’t say it back. Did she feel the same way? Did she love me too or were my feelings unrequited? I needed to talk to her in private so I could get an answer to my questions.

That plan went down the drain when Hazel returned with my mom and sister. They smiled when they saw me. My mom rushed over and I saw tears pool in her eyes. “Oh, my love, how do you feel?”

“I feel fine, Mom, really. There’s no need to worry.”

“You scared us half to death,” Jade said.

I looked at her and my eyes widened slightly when I saw her hair. Half of it was done while the other half lay flat. “You look half dead with that weird hairstyle.”

“Hey! I rushed here from the saloon for you.”

“Good to know that your brother matters more to you than your hair. Thank you for the sacrifice,” I said sarcastically.

I expected Jade to say something else, but she didn’t. Her eyes watered and she said, “I’m glad you’re okay.”

We all stayed in the hospital room talking about the absurdity of the whole thing. I explained why Fred had attacked me. He believed I was responsible for the end of his marriage.

“The man is sick,” my mother declared. “Where is he now?”

Hazel spoke up. “He’s in police custody.”

“Thank God for that.”

My eyes remained on Hazel as the conversation continued. She was all I could think about. I needed to know if she felt the same way or not.

After a while, Jade left to fix her hair situation so she would stop looking like someone who got zapped with electricity on only one side of her body. My mom also left because she wanted to bring me some food. I told her the hospital provided food, but she insisted.

“And then there were two,” Hazel said after both my mother and sister had left.

I wasted no time saying what was on my mind. “We have a pending conversation. Two pending conversations actually.”

Hazel shifted closer to me and took my hand in hers. She stared down at our hands, clearly avoiding my eyes.

“Why did you leave that day?” I asked.

“George called. I picked up because I wanted to tell him you weren't home. He didn’t know I was the one on the phone and he said…” She paused and lifted her head. “He said that our relationship was fake. He said you were only doing it to help your brand. It hurt so much to hear that.”

“Hazel, I would never do that to you. George suggested it to me but I turned him down. I would never do that.”

She offered me a sad smile. “I know that now. I’m sorry for even thinking you would.”

“You don’t have to apologize. George was an idiot for saying that.”

“I can't even begin to tell you how much it hurt when I found out. It felt like my heart was being ripped out of—”

I cut her off because I couldn’t bear to hear how much I’d hurt her. Sure, I didn’t actually go through with George’s plan but it was still my fault she’d gotten hurt. I should have told George when we got together and warned him that I wasn’t with her to help my brand. I was with her because I cared about her. “Hazel, I’m so sorry.”

“No, Ian, it’s okay. All that pain, it… it made me realize that I love you.”

“What?”

She laughed and brought my hand to her lips. “I love you. I was so hurt because I loved you too much to even fathom the idea of our relationship not being real. I love you, Ian.”

The feeling in my chest couldn’t be described with words but I tried. It felt like everything was right with the world, like my dreams had come true in the best way possible. I was almost certain that I could even hear birds singing outside the window. That was how it felt to know that Hazel loved me back.

I loved hearing her say it. She’d already said she loved me four times, but it felt like I could listen to her say it forever. Hazel loved me. She loved me just as much as I loved her, if that was even possible.

I loved her in a way I’d never loved anyone. It was an all-consuming feeling that surrounded me without suffocating me. Instead, it gave me life, room to breathe, and hope for what the future would bring. Loving her brought me peace. And knowing she loved me too, made me incredibly happy.

The pain at my side seemed unimportant right now. All that mattered to me was the woman in front of me and the fact that she loved me.

“Could you say that one more time?” I asked.

Hazel laughed, but she obliged. “I love you.”

“And again.”

“I love you.”

“Just one more time.”

She laughed and shook her head. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” I said as I pulled her to me and claimed her lips.

She leaned in but she also kept her distance so she wouldn’t hurt me. She was so mindful of me that it warmed my heart. I loved her for that and for so many other things.

I loved her.