14. Ian

Chapter 14

Ian

H azel and I had just left the hotel. “Should I take you home?” I asked. I slid a glance at Hazel before turning back to the road.

“Uh… no. My car is still at Stacey’s bakery.”

“Oh right, I forgot about that. I’ll take you there then.”

She nodded. “Thank you.”

Hazel was strangely quiet on our trip to the bakery. I wasn’t expecting us to have deep conversations, but I thought we’d gotten to the point where we could at least make small talk. Clearly, I was wrong. She was avoiding eye contact and just staring out the window.

There was a chance it wasn’t about me though. She might still be frustrated about not finding anything in the hotel room. I knew it really bothered her. I reached into my pocket and brought out the wedding ring. Hazel seemed pretty sure that it didn’t belong to Emily or Olivia, but it was worth a try.

Maybe if we did a bit of investigating, we might find something. I parked at the traffic light and turned to Hazel. “Here.”

She looked at me, then her gaze fell to my outstretched hand. Without question, she opened her palm, and I placed the ring in it. “The wedding ring from the hotel?”

“Yeah. I think you should take it with you.” I lifted a hand when it seemed like she was about to protest. “And before you say anything, hear me out first. I know you said Emily and Olivia aren't married or engaged, but that doesn’t mean this ring isn't related to the case. It’s the only clue we have right now so we shouldn’t give up on it.”

Hazel smiled. She closed her palm and nodded. “You’re right.”

I shifted my focus to the road just in time for the traffic light to turn green. When we got to the bakery, Hazel stepped out. “Thank you… for today,” she said as she stepped out.

“It was a pleasure.”

“Since you’re here, you could get that slice of chocolate cake Stacey promised you. After all, you did survive a whole day with me. That’s no easy feat.”

I laughed. “Very difficult indeed. Stacey owes me a whole cake, actually.”

It was Hazel’s turn to laugh. “Good night, Ian.”

“Good night.”

I watched her walk away. I waited for Hazel to enter her car and drive away before I left. I felt too exhausted to walk into Stacey’s bakery so I just went home instead. Back home, I opened a cold soda can and downed the whole thing quickly.

I hadn't realized how tired I was until I walked into my apartment. The stress of the day weighed down on me, making me drag my feet across the tiled floor. I settled into a comfortable position on the couch with my drink in my hand. I needed to get as much rest as I could because tomorrow, the search for Emily continued.

Hazel and I would have to meet up again and I just hoped that our—

The sound of my phone ringing interrupted my thoughts. I pulled it out of my pocket, ready to silence the ringing when I saw the caller ID. It was my teammate, Ace, calling. We hadn't spoken since the day before I traveled to Cloverhill.

I’d been meaning to call him for a while now, but I kept putting it off. I smiled as I answered and brought the phone to my ear. “Hey, Ace!”

“So the renowned Ian Carter can pick up the phone call of a lowly teammate? And here… I thought you’d become too famous for a… simple phone call,” Ace joked. I could tell from the pauses in his sentence that he was working out. Knowing Ace he was probably running on the treadmill in his house and he’d probably been at it for at least three hours. The man loved to exercise.

“Look who’s talking. You’re the most famous one on our team. George practically uses you as a mascot.”

“Ouch, I’m hurt.” I imagined him putting a hand on his chest in mock offense as he said that. “Anyway, how’s home? How’s your sister?”

“Do not ask about my sister.” My whole team had been obsessed with Jade since the moment they met her. They asked about her whenever she didn’t show up at our games and they poked their heads in whenever I was on a video call with her. It was the worst thing ever.

Ace laughed. “All right. All right. How’s your mom then? And how’s Cloverhill been treating you?”

“My mom’s good.” I chose not to tell Ace about the situation with Emily. He’d likely already heard about it, possibly from George or on the news. Still, I didn’t feel like discussing it. “It’s been great to be back in Cloverhill. You know how much I love this place.”

“I’m going to have to visit that place one of these days. I have to see what all the fuss is about.”

“I’d be glad to show you—”

Loud knocking cut me off. Someone was at the door. “Is someone knocking on your door?” Ace asked.

“Yeah, seems like it.”

“I’ll let you go then. I wouldn’t want to come in between you and your lady friend.”

I rolled my eyes. “And how do you know it’s a woman?”

“Call it a hunch.”

The call dropped, and I walked towards the door. The knocking hadn't stopped for a second since it started. Whoever it was seemed really determined to see me. I pulled the door open and my brows knitted together. The man in front of me looked familiar but I couldn’t quite remember where I’d seen him.

“Hi!” he said brightly as he pushed his glasses further up his nose.

And then I remembered him. Tall and lanky. Brown hair. Wide-rimmed glasses. He was the fan who stopped by on the day I moved into this apartment. He’d asked me to sign his hockey jersey, but I was too tired to do it. He got really upset and nothing I said was able to pacify him.

I’d offered to sign the jersey for him the next day but even that wasn’t enough. He left really angry that day and I hadn't seen him since. Now that I think about it, it was strange that I hadn't seen him since that day. He claimed to live in the building but I’d never run into him, in the parking lot or the hallway. I typically ran into all my neighbors at least once a week, so I found it strange that I’d never seen this man.

I chose not to point that out to him though. I still remember how upset he got the last time I said something he didn’t like, and I wasn’t in the mood to deal with another temper tantrum. “Hi. I guess you’re back for the jersey.”

“You’re right.” He pulled out the same hockey jersey from last time and handed it to me. “Thanks so much for this.”

I took the jersey and the marker he was offering. “No problem. Who should I make this out to?”

“Um… to… make it out to Eddie.”

“All right, Eddie.” I signed on the back of the hoodie and gave it to him. “Here you go.”

“Thank you so much. This means a lot to me.”

“You’re welcome.”

Eddie left, and I returned to the couch. Having him stop by made me think of Emily. She’d traveled to Cloverhill just because she liked me and now she was missing. She’d come this far only to go missing.

It was awful. All she wanted was a nice holiday with her friend and that was taken away from her. She didn’t even get the chance to fully explore the town before she went missing. And I worried she would never get that chance.

I’d told Hazel to be positive. I encouraged her to believe that Emily was all right, but I knew there was a good chance that she wasn’t. For all we knew Emily could be dead or she could be in a lot of pain. She could be suffering and…

I took a deep breath to calm my thoughts, but it didn’t help.

None of this would have happened to Emily if she didn’t come to Cloverhill and she only came here because of me. In a way, it was my fault. I couldn’t blame the townspeople and everyone else for asking me what I was doing to help. It was my duty to help find Emily.

She wouldn’t have been in Cloverhill at all if it weren't for me. And if she never came here then she would have never gone missing. There was a good chance that the poor woman was dead, and it was my fault. Maybe if she wasn’t my fan, she would still be alive.

I hadn't realized the guilt had been festering within me, waiting for the perfect moment to come out. I felt a tight sensation in my chest and a weight on my shoulders that pulled me deeper into an abyss of guilt.

I spent the rest of the day thinking about how I had inadvertently brought Emily to the place where she went missing. Sure I didn’t bring her here myself. I didn’t even know her before she went missing. But she knew me and that was what led her to this place.

I brought her to the town that ended up killing her. The guilt I felt was eating me alive, making me unable to do anything else but wallow in it. I thought about Hazel and how worried she was and about Olivia and how heartbroken she must feel. All these women were suffering in their own way, but Emily’s pain was the greatest.

We didn’t even know what happened to her or what was still happening to her. We didn’t know if she was dead or alive. The situation was so messed up. Emily didn’t deserve this. No one did but least of all her. She was only here because she wanted to see her favorite hockey player.

When I climbed into bed that night, the guilt came with me. It was the companion I didn’t want but couldn’t get rid of. Nothing I did was able to assuage the guilt and maybe I didn’t deserve that. I deserved to wallow in guilt. It was nothing like what Emily had gone through.

I fought through the guilt so I could at least fall asleep but even sleep wasn’t enough to escape it.