Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

LUCAS

Having noodles for limbs wasn't conducive to being on my game. Officially, I wasn't. How could I possibly be with the way I'd all but begged Wilder to manhandle me? But with my thirst sated, my stomach full of steak and a bite of that damn carrot that he'd plonked on my plate, I couldn't regret anything.

It was impossible to have regrets when the chaos in my brain was quiet for the first time in—let's be real here—years.

A peace I'd not felt in decades offered me a bliss I didn't dare trust. And I shouldn't trust it. Putting my faith in a man just because he had the skill to make me shoot my load and quieten the mountain of voices laying out my responsibilities was likely the dumbest thing I could ever allow to happen.

Yet here I was, barely holding on to Wilder in a koala hug as we raced over red dirt. Freedom held us in a bubble of protection, sending a sweet breeze and the welcoming growl of the motorbike's engine.

A heated hand stroked my arm, squeezing lightly before letting go and returning to the throttle. The touch seared my skin, sending a pulse of heat to my stomach. Sure, my dick was interested, trapped against him. It was Wilder's cocky confidence, though, the speeds he took, the laughter when he turned swiftly, grabbing hold of me at the last second, as I wasn't joking about my noodle arms, that kept me smiling and my brain blissfully quiet.

With my cheek pressed against his heated back, I sighed, the sound so content, it sounded alien.

But still, I refused to overthink, to question. Maybe later, when reality came knocking, but for the moment, I found the energy to breathe Wilder in and wriggle my fingers against his stomach until I found the bare sliver of skin above the waistband of his clean jeans.

Warmth filled my cheeks. Wilder hadn't touched his dick—neither had I—yet him sucking me off and swallowing my cum had pushed him over the edge. Had I ever experienced anything so heady before? The truth was, the aftercare, the shower, the food, this right here—the combination melted not only my limbs but every single one of my hard-built defences.

I hoped to hell he didn't make me live to regret it.

At a tap on my hand, I lifted my head, angling a little as he glanced over his shoulder.

Those intense browns of his captured my attention, and it took me a moment to realise a small smile sat on his lips.

Soft smiles and gentle squeezes? How the hell had we reached this point?

I mentally shook my head and paid attention to his words.

"You ready to head back?"

We hadn't left the secure property border, not wanting to break free of the fences or interfere with the alert system setup. The situation in Canberra was too precarious for that. At least we had some good sense to rein in the desire to keep riding, continue heading west until we reached no-man's-land, where we could fall off the face of the earth for a while.

Reluctantly, I nodded. Thoughts of escaping meant I needed to get back to reality. To the responsibility never far away.

He studied my face a beat before he offered an up-nod and turned away.

I settled back into my position of cheek against his back, pleased we'd decided to ride without helmets. I could enjoy this for a little longer. It wasn't like I hadn't chosen the life I led. Heck, for the most part, I loved it.

But sometimes…. I shrugged the thought away, grinning when Wilder revved the throttle and gunned it. I grasped on to the addictive joy, hollering a ridiculous "Whoop!" and for once not giving a damn about being embarrassed.

The revs increased, Wilder joining in by howling like a bloody wolf rather than the bear he was. A burst of deep, booming laughter followed, my own matching his as the cabin drew closer and closer.

Back to reality.

Slowing down, Wilder once again squeezed my forearm. "Nap first."

The argument froze on my tongue. We had so much to do, to prepare for.

"Just two hours, that's all," he added as he eased up on the throttle, edging closer to the cabin.

I loosened my muscles, having not realised just how tightly wound up I'd become when I thought about reality. Wilder had known, though. For a computer specialist, he had a talent for reading body language.

Or maybe it was just mine?

"Just two hours," I confirmed.

As he pulled to a stop, he angled to look at me, a pleased smile directed my way.

Despite my smirk, I rolled my eyes. "What?" I challenged with a fairly pathetic attempt at sass. I couldn't even fool myself that I wasn't loving the attention. "Two hours of sleep, and we'll have eight and a half hours before the meetings take place."

A buzz of discomfort worked its way into my system. Would that really be enough time? We still had?—

"Off the bike."

Startled, I jumped off immediately.

"In the cabin, strip, and get your arse into bed."

I parted my lips, but at his arched brow, all fight left me. "How do you do that?"

"Because I'm right and you know it. You can't argue with common sense." He climbed off the bike and stood directly in front of me, close enough to touch, but he kept his hands to himself. "After two hours of sleep, you'll function better, work better, and be able to run the mission better. Correct?"

The arsehat was right, and from his smug grin, he knew it.

"You're also great at dishing out advice and orders, especially to your team about their wellbeing, but you take zero care of yourself."

Heat flushed my skin, embarrassment and indignation fluttering to the surface. "I take care of myself." My argument didn't hold a lick of conviction. If I didn't believe it, there was no way he did.

And how he even knew enough to call me out…. Bloody hell, was I actually surprised, considering how he'd behaved towards me, "handled" me? Because that's exactly what he'd been doing. I wasn't sure how to respond to that.

I should be annoyed. Incensed. Definitely calling him out and shutting him down.

"Matt."

The soft tone snapped my attention to his penetrating gaze.

"Let me do this for you."

I swallowed hard, loving and hating everything about the understanding evident in the depth of his brown eyes.

Could I afford to listen to him, let Wilder do this for me?

The hope—and plan—was to finally get Hornell in custody within a few hours. Wilder would then be on the next flight out of Australia. Life could then go back to normal. The thought left a bitter taste in my mouth, but it was what needed to happen.

Whisper soft, I agreed, "Okay." A few more hours, I could give him, allow myself stolen moments to shut out real life. And not a second more.

Wordlessly, Wilder nodded and placed his warm hand on my back, encouraging me to head inside. I followed his lead, one foot in front of the other, my muscles already relaxing, my thoughts settling.

"Let me check the systems and engage the security. I want you undressed and in bed, eyes closed and focussed on sleeping." Wilder punctuated his words with a kiss on my neck. A shudder zipped down my body, and goose bumps sprang to life.

"Fine." We stepped inside. Once in the doorway of the room, I paused and glanced at him.

He stood at the first security panel on this level, hand poised but eyes on me. "Okay?"

Was I?

I'd been tempted to ask him a million questions, starting with what on earth was happening here? But did I really want to know the answer?

I shook my head. A few more hours.

I spun away, thinking instead about following his directions. Concentrating on those alone allowed my mind to stop spinning.

Undress.

Get under the sheet.

Close my eyes.

Relax.

I totally had this.

And if, ten minutes later, his overheated body pressed against my side and I just so happened to snuggle up to him, almost mirroring my koala hug from earlier, then so be it.

A few more hours to allow this to happen, to embrace the unexpected comfort. After that, all of this would be like it had never happened.

The trusted contacts Durrant had pulled were divided into four areas: one in Canberra, another in Melbourne, one in Sydney, and the final one here in Queensland, just outside Brisbane's CBD.

The latter was where we'd ventured.

Confident we'd had no tail, we'd made it to the rendezvous point an hour ahead of schedule—after switching out the bike for an SUV. It allowed us to set up some equipment and prepare for our four arrivals.

Michaels and Shaw had travelled to Melbourne with Smythe and Hart providing tech support, while Chris and Kent took point back home in Sydney, with Callen in the country capital.

The setup in the old water station wasn't ideal, but it was off radar and suited the purpose to get us through the takedown.

"The access points are here." Wilder's deep timbre, once as frustrating as a buzzing fly, had become a soothing caress.

I edged over in my rolling chair, stopping at his side to peer at his screen.

Less than five klicks away stood our target: a warehouse at the centre of the Queensland base of operations. While the location was based on the intel Durrant had managed to get from Jefferson, who'd been quick to share his involvement once he'd been brought in and Callen had revealed the extent of our intel, we were confident with the validity.

Deep dives, satellite footage, and some impressive hacking from Hart had consolidated the evidence we needed to forge ahead. But this whole mission remained precarious.

Sure, we were working under Durrant's orders, like we always were, but considering the scope and a small section of the Defence Ministry's involvement, we really were entering the viper's den—specifically, four of them.

"And the old gas tunnels are completely cut off?" I asked.

It was something Wilder had discovered when studying the blueprints. In theory, the tunnels could be used as an escape route—for those who were able to shift into smaller forms.

"Definitely," he confirmed. "We can ensure all access points are covered, but the tunnels are no longer accessible."

I bobbed my head. "I've spoken to Callen. Murdock's provided the last known location of Hornell." It stung that we wouldn't be there, but it seemed poetic almost that Michaels and Shaw would be the ones to take him down in Melbourne. Bearing in mind all they'd been through over a year back when Hornell first jumped onto our radar, I knew they'd pull out all the stops to make it happen.

We all would.

"Have you had any success with discovering potential fail-safes?" I asked. It was a point Hart had raised. A man like Hornell would not come in quietly. Not only were his resources extensive—and I was sure we didn't know the half of it—but he had a lot to lose.

The thirst for his blood made me twitch. Not that I'd drink a drop of the toxic crap I was sure ran through his poisoned veins. But watch his blood stain the ground? I wouldn't miss a wink of sleep if that was how it went down.

"Not yet."

I glanced at Wilder, taking in his expression. It matched his pissed-off voice.

"I'm still searching. I also have a couple of trusted contacts back home who're offering support." He made eye contact, then lifted his brow, no doubt reading my reaction. "I trust them."

We maintained contact for a couple of beats before I nodded. Sure, my skin itched at the unknown, and I was struggling over not having all the answers and relying on people I hadn't personally vetted, but this was one of those times I had to trust my gut.

I settled on "Okay."

He bobbed his head, a pleased smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

"I'm going to suit up. We should have company in a few minutes."

As I turned, I ignored his frown. Wilder had no say in the execution of this operation. While I appreciated all he was doing and the contacts he'd reached out to for additional support, Durrant had tasked me with the running of the mission.

I'd disseminated the information and the schedule to each member of my unit, including Callen and Durrant despite their higher ranking. They trusted me to make this run like clockwork. Four operations, all carried out simultaneously, in three states and one territory.

That I had to suit up in my fatigues and arm myself, ready to be called in for backup, wasn't ideal, but Wilder out there wouldn't fly. Not only was he here without the proper papers, but if shit hit the fan, he needed to be far away from this.

Plus, he could handle all the comms and the tech as well as I could. Add in the fact that he'd admitted he hadn't been boots on the ground in almost twenty years—unlike me—there was no other alternative but for him to take point if I needed to offer additional tactical support.

As I pulled on the SICB-supplied tactical vest, the door opened to the room we'd allocated as our hub of operations. The light from the open doorway disappeared almost immediately, blocked out, I expected, by a prickly bear. A quick glance revealed Wilder. His large frame filled the doorway. At the sight of him, his tight jaw and intense gaze, my gut clenched.

That he didn't like the idea of me being in the thick of gunfire or exposed to claws and teeth didn't help the uncomfortable swirl in my stomach. There was nothing permanent with what was happening between us. We hadn't discussed it, but we didn't need to.

The heat between us was fast and thrilling and would burn out to cinders in a matter of hours.

So why did my slow-beating heart pick up when I took him in and imagined this all being over?

"Promise me something."

My brows shot high, not expecting those words. "What's that?"

"That if you have to provide backup, you'll return unharmed."

Once again my pulse sped up even as I shook my head while my eyes roamed his expression. "I can't promise that."

Wilder clenched his jaw, and he took a large stride into the small room, bringing himself directly before me so I had to tilt my head to meet his gaze. "Promise you'll try ." From the scrunch of his nose, it seemed that word was distasteful. "Yes, you have a mission. Yes, you have a team you'll be supporting. But you also need to put yourself first."

"What?" Confusion had me backing up a step. "I'm team leader. My job is to protect my unit and make sure the job is done. I pledged my allegiance to my country, my agency, my team. I'll do whatever it takes to make that happen."

More than that, my daughter would be out there. She would always come first.

"For fuck's sake." A sneer followed. "This is what's wrong with all fucking government agencies. Do I need to remind you that your government, your defence forces are the reason you're here right now, putting your life on the line? Fuck, Matt, your fucking government has a warrant to bring you in. You're telling me they're the ones you're willing to die for if necessary?" Wilder shook his head in disgust, anger making his body shake.

Taken aback by his outburst, it took me a moment to gather my thoughts enough to react. "You don't have to be here. I'm grateful that you are, and you being here is helpful." Tightening my fists, I held back the rising tide of anger. "But don't you dare question my loyalty or the reasons why I do this. My team is counting on me. This mission is bigger than us."

Wilder's eyes flashed with a mix of frustration and desperation. "I'm not questioning your abilities, Matt. I know you're good at what you do. But I see you throwing yourself into this like you're trying to prove something to someone who doesn't give a shit about you."

I stepped closer, refusing to back down. "It's not about proving anything, Ethan. It's about doing what's right. It's about stopping Hornell and saving lives. You think I don't know the risks? Every time I suit up, I know it might be my last mission. But if not me, then who?"

His jaw clenched again, and he gripped the edge of the table to our right so hard, I thought it might snap. "And if you go down? What happens to your team then? Have you thought about that? You're so damn focussed on the mission that you're ignoring the most important part—keeping yourself alive so you can lead them."

I took a deep breath, trying to steady my nerves. "I lead by example. If they see me hesitating, second-guessing, then they will too. I need them to trust that I'll make the right calls, that I'll be there when they need me." Even more so because those arriving in just a few moments weren't my usual crew, despite me knowing three of the four individuals. They were stepping into this with no history with my unit. Their sole motivation was their loyalty and allegiance to Durrant.

That was enough for me.

Wilder's expression softened but only slightly. "I get that. I do. But you're more than just a leader. You're… You're important to people. To me. And it scares the hell out of me to think that you might not come back."

The admission caught me off guard. For a moment, the walls I'd built around myself wavered. "Wilder, I appreciate that you care. But right now, I need you to trust me. Trust that I know what I'm doing and that I'm prepared for whatever comes our way."

He nodded, but the tension didn't leave his body. "I trust you, Matt. It's the situation I don't trust. Just… promise me you'll do everything you can to come back. Not for the government, not for the agency. For the people who care about you. For me."

For him?

But that wasn't what this was meant to be.

Did I want more? Could I trust him enough to accept the possibility?

I looked him in the eye, seeing the fear and concern that he tried so hard to hide. "I'll do my best, Ethan. But I can't make any guarantees. All I can promise is that I'll fight like hell to see this through."

He took a step back, exhaling slowly. "That's all I can ask for, I guess. Just… be careful out there."

He made it sound like a done deal—me needing to go in as backup. My gut twisted, telling me I thought he was right.

We hadn't had enough time to prepare. We didn't fully know what we were walking into.

With a nod, I turned towards the door, feeling the weight of his words and the impending mission pressing down on me. "We will be. Now let's get ready. Our team is counting on us."

With my heart thumping unsteadily, I headed to the main hub, which was more of a glorified makeshift computer lab than I was used to. We'd make it work, though.

Despite everything being murky between us, Wilder's—Ethan's—concern shouldn't have been as unexpected as it was. In truth, his determination, him following me and sharing his thoughts, spun me out. What they also did, though, was quieten the brewing anxiety of seeing my daughter again.

At least for a few minutes.

Now, nerves played havoc with my emotions. Since Ethan had made the call, I didn't know if she was aware of my presence. While I hadn't asked Wilder to withhold information about me being in Brisbane, I hadn't asked him if he'd told her or not.

Right or wrong, though, two vehicles approached, so I was about to find out exactly what Valeria knew.

Taking control of myself, I regulated my heartbeat and ensured my breaths returned to the usual slow inhale and exhale. "Are you ready?" Authority clung to my question.

"Yup." He held my gaze for a beat before offering an up-nod and focussing back on the security feed.

I took to the mic that would connect me to the three other teams. "Alpha Strike, Bravo Force, Charlie Squad, this is Delta Recon. Are you reading? Over."

Callen answered first. "Alpha Strike checking in. Over."

"Bravo Force checking in. Over," Kent responded.

Smythe responded last. "Charlie Squad checking in. Over."

"Our additions are thirty seconds out. Please confirm your arrivals." We'd provided each of Durrant's contacts with an overview, but due to the nature of the op, some elements were too risky to share in any manner other than face to face.

All three teams responded with similar times. There was something to be said about agents and professionals and their ability to keep on schedule. It seriously helped my stress levels.

"Vehicles are pulling up now," Wilder said.

I nodded. "Got it." I returned to my mic, reaching out to our teams. "0900 exactly, Brisbane time, all teams are to move in. They're to be in position by 0855. Copy?"

We'd already been over everything required, the locations, what each objective was. Our focus here in Brisbane, at the warehouse a few short klicks away, was a central server that linked all Hornell's networks nationally and overseas.

When all three units confirmed, we silenced communication, and I turned to the door where Wilder had given access to the four new additions to our unit.

Alinta entered first, her scowling face softening immediately when she spotted me. "Lucas. It's been a long time, old friend."

I stepped closer and greeted her with a handshake and a hug. As a vampire almost twice my age, Alinta had experience and impressive skills. I had nothing but respect for her. I also knew she was stepping out of her sabbatical as a favour to Durrant.

"It's good to see you, Alinta. It's been too long."

She squeezed my arm, and I suspected she was thinking back to the last time we saw each other—Maya's twilight vigil. My heart tightened at the memory, at the betrayal. I shook it away, not wanting any thought of my daughter's mother to touch me… or Valeria.

It was no mistake that I'd wanted Alinta with the Brisbane unit alongside Valeria. It was difficult enough not to be joining them in the first wave by instead running the op from here. But at least with Alinta, a seasoned agent—one of many hats she'd worn over her years—my daughter would be well protected.

She also knew the truth, one of the very few individuals who did.

Alinta thinned her lips, clamping them together as movement at the door caught our focus. That reaction alone told me Valeria was here and pissed. Sympathy sparked in Alinta's gaze before she stepped away, leaving me a direct view of Valeria.

She was beautiful and so, so mad. Fire lit her eyes, looking so much like her mother's, my heart squeezed.

"Valeria," I said softly. The need to reach out and hold her tight made it difficult to stay put. For as much as my daughter didn't think I knew her, I could read her well enough. Everything about her tall frame—just an inch shy of my own—and her scowl that flickered to indifference as I watched told me to back off.

Hurt lacerated my chest, and as much as she may have thought I deserved it, I could never regret it all. Her being alive before me with the ability to bleed defiance was fundamentally the reason why I made the decisions I had. And that she wanted nothing to do with me? It was a burden I'd continue to bear as long as she lived and breathed.

Valeria looked away first, stalking to the table and taking a seat. I tracked her movements before glancing away, my gaze meeting Wilder's briefly. Unable to handle his curiosity or his sympathy, I focussed on the last two members.

Dharrun, a wolf shifter from Perth who I didn't know personally. What I did know was that he was an Indigenous elder as well as a lieutenant in the WA Enforcement Unit. That Durrant trusted him meant I would too.

I reached out and shook his hand. "Thanks for coming, Lieutenant."

"Agent Lucas," he greeted. "Not quite the call I expected to be receiving yesterday, but if the SICB's director needs me, I'm here."

"We all appreciate that."

He stepped aside and headed to the table, leaving me to welcome Tarka.

The bear was all smiles and beefy limbs as he wrapped me up in a giant hug. Perhaps not the most professional of greetings, but we'd known each other for decades—ever since we'd both joined the SICB. He'd since flown the coop, now owning his own security firm, but his name on Durrant's list made complete sense.

"Good to see you, Mattie." The behemoth of a man lifted me off my feet, causing heat to sting my cheeks and warm familiarity to roll in my gut. "You're a sight for sore eyes." He stepped back, his meaty hand on my shoulder. "You've got some real shit going on here that needs some specialist attention, huh?" He winked and glanced around the room, pausing on Wilder.

I followed his gaze, taking in Wilder's expression. With his jaw clenched, he didn't look pleased.

Tarka's huff of amusement dragged my attention back to him. "Looks like you're keeping interesting company these days."

"Behave," I admonished with exactly zero heat. Tarka was almost impossible to keep in line. It was his desire to not follow orders rather than his inability that had him leave the SICB and start his own firm. Honestly, we'd been through so much together over the years. His being here, stepping back into the fold for me—as I was sure Durrant added him because she knew he wouldn't refuse a request from me—meant something. "Thanks for coming."

"With you and Durrant at the helm and the glorious Alinta here, no way would I miss it." He stepped to my side, and we glanced at the table. "And our beautiful Vally. How are you doing, kiddo?"

Valeria rolled her eyes. "Don't start, T. Get your arse over here so we can get the final details of this mission and I can get the fuck outta here." She glanced away, refusing to even make eye contact.

"Holy shit," Tarka whispered, though everyone in the room could hear. "It just dropped twenty degrees in here, right? Talk about ice burn."

Alinta's huffed "Tarka" had him smirking. He shot me a wink before he headed over to the large table. Envy tightened my chest when he sat heavily next to Valeria and tugged her to his side. When he dotted a kiss on her head and she didn't push him away, I looked away quickly, the dull ache rapidly growing to the size of a boulder.

This was a mistake, having her come to Brisbane.

The hell was I thinking?

I should have refused, told Durrant not to get her involved.

If she got hurt just because I wanted to see her, how on earth could I live with myself?

Thoughts layered in my brain—the what-ifs and could-have-beens piling higher and higher, growing, becoming heavy.

Warmth at my side registered at the edges of my mind, the soft "Hey" penetrating.

Shit.

Wilder.

He stood close, blocking my view of the table.

Making eye contact, we stared at each other in silence, just for a beat, but long enough to help me take control of my thoughts. A nod later, he stepped away, leaving his piercing heat clinging to my side.

I focussed on the feeling, the warmth he offered, not just in his touch but the gentle intervention. How the man just knew I was spiralling should have terrified me completely. Instead, it bolstered me and reminded me of who I was and what was at stake.

No more distractions. No more feeling sorry for myself, wishing for things that may never happen.

"Let's get right to it," I started, joining the group at the table, Wilder at my side and even my daughter glancing my way, a new curiosity in her gaze.