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Chapter 12

WILDER

I tugged out another beer from the icebox—Esky, whatever—opened it, and took a deep swig. Having access to the rooftop garden—something only Base and I had use of—was pretty darn awesome. Though what that did mean was, I had no real reason to not throw a "housewarming" party.

Which I'd absolutely tried to get out of. But between my new teammate—an overexcited tiger who had the energy of a ferret on acid that I was reluctantly enjoying getting to know—and Matt, who thought it would be "good for me," I'd folded.

"Since you're offering." Hart sidled up to where I manned the grill, palm outstretched.

I sighed and scooped up a beer to pass him.

"Cheers." He threw me a wink before gulping the cold beer down. "You need a hand?" He eyed the barbecue.

"Just because you bloody Aussies like to think you're the kings of the ‘barbie,' it doesn't mean I don't know how to handle a sausage."

"That's what he said," Michaels hollered from a few metres away.

I flipped him the middle finger. He was lounging on the outdoor seating, Shaw practically attached to his side, and chatting to Base. It was no surprise they got along. They were as unhinged as each other.

Hart snickered at my side, the relaxed, happy sound tugging a smile from me.

"You're an arsehole," I muttered. That would never change, but him being happy and actually finding someone to put up with his sullen arse was a hell of a thing. I flipped the steak, cast a glance at Matt to make sure he was okay, then asked Hart, "You thought any more about Tarka's offer?"

I'd officially completed my first month at Eclipse Security. It hadn't happened without teething problems. When I'd warned my new boss that I didn't play well with others, I hadn't been exaggerating.

I'd pissed people off, rubbed them the wrong way, and become frustrated as fuck with all the rule following, but despite all of that, the whole Sydney team was here celebrating with me. Officially it was because my shipment had finally come in from the UK, which meant I had no more excuses to not invite them over.

Unofficially?

A whole month and I hadn't been fired and I hadn't killed anyone—or anyone me—and I supposed that was something positive to celebrate.

"I'm not sure. Durrant's still got an offer on the table."

Since he didn't look troubled about either the offer or the decision he needed to make, I suspected he'd work things out when he was ready. For the time being, he seemed happy to continue his solo work.

He took another drink of beer before eyeing the grill. "The steaks are burning."

"For fuck's sake," I said, gritting my teeth. I grabbed the plate and piled it high with red meat. "Everyone's a fucking food critic."

He scoffed as I passed him, taking the steaks to the table.

"Looks—" Matt paused, lips curling up. "—well done?"

"Seriously? I'll eat all the damn things myself if you're gonna complain too." I took his plate off him and plonked a large steak down on it with a pointed "if you talk shit about my steak, I'm gonna launch it off this damn roof" look.

He tugged his lips between his teeth. All that did was draw my attention to his mouth rather than get pissy that he was laughing at me. I scooped up some pasta salad and corn on the cob before passing him the heaped plate. "Sit your arse down and eat."

He arched his brow as he took his food. "No garlic bread?"

"Not if you want my cock down your throat later."

A chorus of "Eww…" and "Fuck, man" and "Jesus, TMI" surrounded us.

I grinned, happy with myself, shouting, "Anytime you all want to leave, there are 360 exits all around us," while pink flooded Matt's cheeks.

"You're such an arsehole." He glared daggers at me, but Matt could play coy all he wanted. Not only did he love me looking after him, doing little things like cooking for him and making sure he ate, but the bitching, the grousing… it went hand in hand with the flirting we'd perfected over the past month.

"You know it." I punctuated my words with a smacking kiss, lapping up my new reality. That I had this. Had someone I cared for so completely that embarrassing him with PDAs made me ridiculously happy.

Leaving him with burning cheeks, I headed back to the grill and an amused Hart.

"You know?—"

I cut Hart off. "Whatever you're going to say, do I really need to hear it?"

"I forgot how much of a cock you can be."

"You've been missing me, huh? While I've been at my new job, you've had no one to try to beat you at Wordle. I get it."

Hart huffed out a laugh, and I joined in. "You see, right there. It's been hard not listening to you being a huge dick down the line."

Over the years, while our friendship had been tentative and we didn't really collaborate on much, we had fallen into a pattern of throwing shit at each other, and some of that was absolutely over Wordle.

"Even more reason for you to think about branching out." I lifted my hands before me. "And that's all I'll say about you deciding on jobs."

His "I'll think about it" surprised me. Though, truthfully, like me, I didn't expect Hart would ever be truly comfortable working for a government agency again. We'd both been burned, and some scars never faded.

Hiding my smirk, I turned back to the grill and threw on a bunch of burgers. These arseholes were greedy fuckers and packed away so many kilos of meat, I was going to look into buying shares in livestock.

When Valeria approached, Hart excused himself.

"Was it something I said?" Amusement coloured her tone.

"I think that was all me." I threw her a smile. "You want a drink?" I eyed the orange juice in her hand.

"I wish. I'm doing the whole supportive thing with Tess."

Nonplussed, I shook my head. I'd met her fiancée, Tess, several times now. With Valeria's assignment over—simply good timing that she was able to answer Durrant's call a month ago—Tess and Valeria had moved back to Sydney.

I was happy for Matt. His relationship with his daughter, while strained, was getting easier every day. They'd talked and cried, even attended a couple of therapy sessions together. They still had a way to go, but considering only a month had passed since they'd reconnected, I was confident they'd make it work.

That Tess was all for the reunion helped a hell of a lot.

"You know, not drinking alcohol while she isn't?" She arched her brow.

I scrunched my brow. "Does she have a—" Fuck, what was the PC term to use, or at least the phrase I could use without insulting someone? This right here was why I was shit at peopling. "—uhm… an unhealthy relationship with booze?"

A burst of surprised laughter erupted as Valeria shook her head. "Well, if you can call her being pissed off that she can't neck a bottle of wine after she's finished her shift at the hospital unhealthy, then yeah, sure."

"O-kay?" I glance around, searching for anyone who could help me. Matt's gaze focussed on me before turning to his daughter as he stood, his eyes wide.

The hell was wrong with him? Why did he look like he'd seen a?—

"Ohh…." Understanding dawned a moment before I did a double-take, seeking out Tess first, who sat on the couch, also peering over at us, amusement on her face. "Holy shit, you guys are pregnant?"

All conversation cut off, and I winced. Though, to be fair, every single person currently out here had supernatural hearing. Even if I'd whispered, anyone tuned in would have heard.

My brows shot high, and once again I sought out Matt. He'd been making his way over when I'd blurted the words out.

At Valeria's "Yes, we're pregnant" and her huge-arse grin, I smiled at Matt.

"I'm going to be an uncle again?" Michaels broke in before anyone else could speak. "Fuck yes. Nice." He glanced around, thoroughly pleased with himself.

Meanwhile, I hugged Valeria, feeling kind of awkward. But this was what I thought people did. "Congratulations."

She patted me back just as awkwardly, making me feel marginally better, as her dad and Tess reached us. Matt was already hugging his future daughter-in-law, his eyes glistening as he stared over Tess's shoulder at Valeria.

"This is incredible." He broke free from Tess, offering her a blinding smile before unceremoniously wrapping his daughter in a giant hug. "I'm so happy for you both."

My heart constricted at the love in his voice, his gaze, the way he poured such easy affection into holding his daughter.

He was incredible and so fucking beautiful, especially like this with emotion in his eyes. Easing away after kissing Valeria's cheek, he released her, watching as the two women joined hands, their excitement contagious.

"Looks like you're going to be a grandfather in approximately six months," Valeria said with a teasing lilt.

Matt shook his head, not in denial but in clear disbelief. "I—" His voice broke.

I was there in an instant, at his side, arm around him, my hand at his waist. Matt was incredible and had been working hard to find balance. It helped him stop getting overwhelmed.

Sometimes, though, and I suspected for a long time to come, I held him up, reminded him he wasn't alone and that he could lean on me. Just like he supported me, especially with the difficulties of fitting in and finding my place at work.

But loving Matt was easy.

My shoulders stiffened, the reality slamming me in the face.

I loved him.

Concern filled his eyes when he glanced my way.

I relaxed my shoulders and fixed a cocky smile. "Granddad, huh?"

It was clear he didn't buy my shift from the hard look he captured me with. Not calling me out, he shook his head. "That doesn't mean I'm old. Just lucky."

So was I.

I pressed a kiss on the top of his head in silent agreement.

Valeria saying, "We'll see if you're both saying that when you're on grandchild-sitting duty. We'll see how quickly they can wrap their granddads around their finger," pulled me up short.

My lips parted, heart pummelling my chest.

Shit. Was I freaking out? I shouldn't be freaking out, but hell, me, a grandfather?

"I can barely pick up a glass bowl without breaking it" tumbled out of my mouth.

I was sure I heard Hart snort, but I couldn't even begin to think about seeking him out to flip him off.

Tess pressed her lips together while Valeria shook her head. "You won't break our kid. You'll be fine."

But how could she be sure?

"And on that note, I'm going to leave you to talk this out." Valeria walked away to talk to the rest of the team, receiving hugs and congratulations while Matt guided me off the rooftop and into my apartment, only stopping once we were in my bedroom with the door closed.

"Butt on the bed, Ethan."

I did so without question, my heart still pounding too loudly.

"You want to talk about?—"

"I can't be trusted with a kid," I said quickly, horror in my voice.

Matt's brows jumped high. Ignoring my outburst for a moment, he pushed my legs open and stood between them. With one hand on the back of my neck in a soft hold, he glided the fingers of his other hand through my hair. We stayed like this for a while, the gentle strokes soothing, encouraging me to calm my racing heart.

Once it finally beat at the normal rate and my head no longer buzzed with panic, Matt cupped my cheek and arched his neck so he could meet my gaze.

"You don't have to be my grandbaby's grandfather. You don't have to be involved at all." Not a single hint of disappointment or accusation existed in his tone. "Whatever you're worried about, if you can tell me, I'd be happy to listen."

This man was perfect. He was complicated and messy and so kind and giving. And so fucking smart and sexy. I wanted everything with him.

"Give me a sec," I managed, trying to get my thoughts straightened out and figure out why I'd balked so damn dramatically. I'd be embarrassed if I gave a shit about what anyone but Matt thought.

"Okay." He continued to card his fingers through my hair, gently massaging my scalp as he did so. I sighed into the touch, absorbing the contact and using it to help centre me.

He gave me time, which I'd known he would. It was that ease—the understanding, acceptance, and respect we showed each other—that helped me draw in a breath.

"You know why I chose a solitary life." I glanced up and he nodded. It wasn't like it was a big secret. I'd loved and lost and been left behind. It wasn't even like it was at an early age. But somewhere along the way of growing and living, being let down by the cyber team in the worst possible way, it became easier to not give a shit.

Matt knew all this. His eyes sparkled with empathy as he remained silent, gently trailing his fingers over the back of my neck.

"You're giving me so much to lose." I dropped my gaze, frustrated with the emotion in my voice.

Not forcing me to speak, Matt waited me out until I was able to look up and meet his eyes.

"I love you."

At my confession, his lips parted, his breath hitching, his chest expanding.

"If I was kicked out of the team, I'd be pissed. If you told me you wanted to split, I'd be crushed. But add in a baby, me becoming a granddad, and have it taken away… a family…." I trailed off and shook my head, a tear spilling free and landing in my beard. "I'm not sure I could survive a loss like that."

I wasn't sure what I expected, but a blinding grin wasn't it.

Matt cupped my face with both hands, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. "I love you so fucking much."

A burst of surprised laughter escaped me. Fuck, I loved it when he swore.

"That you're shit scared of loving my daughter, our grandkid, our family—that's one of the reasons I love you so damn much."

"I didn't say I was shit scared," I grumbled, grasping the words like a lifeline to dry up my tears.

"Uh-huh." When he kissed me, I tasted salt. "But you did say you loved me."

My shoulders sagged even as my chest expanded with the love bottled inside it. "I did. I do."

"And you want to be a family."

A statement that had me slowly nodding. But…. "Just to be clear, that means Vally and Tess and the kid, right? Not us looking at adding our own extra kids?"

He laughed loud and hard, almost bending double. No doubt at the horror I couldn't keep from my face or my voice.

"You finished?" I asked gruffly, only smirking a little when I took control and manoeuvred him to straddle me.

Wrapped around me, he wiped the tears from his face like the arsehole he was. "Just us, and any other kids they may want. Plus, you know who…."

I sighed and pressed my head to his chest with a groan. "Do you really expect me to start thinking about your pain-in-the-arse team as family? It seems unnecessarily cruel."

He chuckled and kissed the back of my head. "Yes, and at some point, maybe you'll start feeling the same about Eclipse?"

My snort was loud. "It's like you hardly know me at all." I looked up, appreciating how right he felt in my arms.

"I think I know you well enough to tell Valeria to organise the ‘Best Granddad' tees that I'm confident she already has planned."

Knowing Valeria, she absolutely would, just to screw with us.

"And I absolutely know you well enough that you might scoff at the idea of wearing a T-shirt like that, but you'd do so in a heartbeat, especially if it'll make me smile."

I shook my head slowly before leaning up and tugging his lip between my teeth, earning me a hiss before I let go, saying, "You really are the worst ever."

"Or the best." His smile was wide. "Depends how you look at it."

That sounded like a challenge.

With a lift and a flip, I got him flat on his back on my bed. He landed with a grunt and a chuckle.

"How about I look at it from up here as I take you apart and help you forget your name?"

At Matt's breath hitch, a fresh wave of warmth pressed down on me.

"You have guests upstairs."

" We have guests upstairs, since you invited them," I said, not giving a damn about anyone other than Matt and seeing him naked.

"Still, they're upstairs."

A slow, salacious smile fluttered across my lips. "Let's see how long it takes for them to fuck off when they start hearing you scream my name."

Skin flushed, Matt stared up at me, not doing a single thing to argue.

Bliss, just out of reach, kept him still. But he knew I'd take care of him. I always would.

And right now, I'd do that by making good on my promise to tug as many screams from him as possible. His orgasm was mine, and as I kissed his stomach, making my way to his waistband, I breathed him in, barely believing how my life had changed.

A new country, job, friends, a family, and a love that would grow stronger every day… I unbuckled Matt's belt, relishing the burst of pheromones.

This man right here, he was it for me. And I'd do anything to make sure we got through this complicated thing called life together.

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