24. WREN

24

WREN

"Are you alright? Your eyes are leaking," Lenny says. She's cuddled up with me on the couch. We've been here most of the afternoon researching ideas for her outdoor play area and drawing out plans. Now we're watching one of her favorite princess movies.

"I'm fine, Lennon. I'm happy for her," I say, referring to the princess who's flying around the sky on a magic carpet. That seems to satisfy her enough to focus on the television again.

I've watched this movie more times than I can count when I was a kid. It's always been one of my favorites. I don't ever remember crying when the prince pulls up on a flying carpet offering to show her a world of shimmering stars and wondrous places.

Being here in my own new world. Having a man open my eyes to new things.

I don't know how I'm going to leave. I…

Sucking in a ragged breath, I let another tear fall.

I know I have to go. I have things I need to deal with. A pending engagement. An engagement I don't want, but I don't know how to get out of it without knowing the ramifications of saying no.

If Fred Abbott is capable of blackmailing his own son, what could he do to my dad?

Is my happiness too big a sacrifice? Can I give up Wyatt for my family? The thought is crushing. It steals my breath and cools my blood. It didn't matter before.

Before Wyatt.

Is that how I will think about my life now? The person I was before him and who I am after him? While at my core, I am still the same person. There are parts of me that are permanently altered because of this man.

We are leaving for Newhouse tomorrow and the thought makes me sad. I'm going to miss everything about this place. I'm going to miss fighting with the chickens every morning and getting head butted by goats.

I'm going to miss late afternoon walks where the sun warms your skin and cool nights sitting around the fire with everyone.

I'm going to miss waking up to Wyatt. I'm going to miss his fingers making circles on my back or on my thigh. I'm going to miss him snuggling behind me early in the morning before he leaves for a long day out on the farm.

I'm even going to miss the dirt and all the bugs.

Jack and Faith casually offered me a job the other night after dinner. I don't need the money. Working has never been about the money to me. It's about being useful and creating something valuable. I could do that here .

I could stay. I know my mom and dad would understand. They've always encouraged me to follow my heart.

If Wyatt wanted me to and if I can solve my fiancé dilemma.

Maybe Daniel would understand. If he knew there was someone else, because there is.

I snatch my phone off the coffee table and send him a text.

ME

I know I said we could go through with the engagement but things have changed. I'm sorry.

My phone dings almost immediately.

DANIEL

I don't think you understand what my father is capable of. We have to see it through.

ME

I'm sorry he is keeping your money hostage but I can't help you with that anymore. You will have to figure something else out.

DANIEL

He knows about Wyatt and his family's situation. He's been tracking you.

ME

Why would he do that? They have nothing to do with you and me.

DANIEL

They will if there isn't a you and me. He's been talking to people and asking questions. I have no doubt he will try and use your attachment to Wyatt to get what he wants.

ME

Why is being connected to my family so important to him?

DANIEL

I don't think you understand how prominent your family is.

He's right. I don't. I know my mom came from money and my dad has paved his own way. Even though my mom is the reason this marriage was even a thought, she didn't raise me with the same beliefs and principles she grew up on.

ME

He has to take my no as an answer.

DANIEL

He may take it but there will be consequences.

The screen door bangs closed before I have time to really process his text.

The Rivers boys push and shove their way inside. Colt and Mason nod hello and head straight to the kitchen for sustenance.

Ford and Wyatt crave sustenance too. In the form of hugs and kisses from their girls. Ford sits on the ottoman and pulls Lenny into his arms. Wyatt is dirty and sweaty but I lean into his embrace.

"I've missed you Lenny bug. We could have used your help out there," Ford tells his daughter.

"Next time, Daddy. We had a lot of work to do before Wren leaves tomorrow," Lenny says.

"Have you been good for Wren?"

"What do you think? I even gave her extra cuddles when she started to cry. Just like you do when I'm sad."

"You were crying?" Wyatt asks. His eyes are etched with concern.

"It was a sad part in the movie. That's all," I try to reassure him.

"It wasn't really. It was the fun part when they fly around the sky." Her words are directed at her dad. Wyatt's eyes are drilling into the side of my face but I can't find the strength to look at him.

"Lenny, everyone has different experiences. It's okay that Wren got sad and it's okay that it made you happy," Ford explains.

"Are you sad?" Lenny asks.

"No," I whisper. I rub my wrist with my thumb.

"You're really going to lie to Lenny," Wyatt says into my ear. I glance at him. Tears sit in my eyes ready to fall. He sees it too. "Come with me." He stands up abruptly.

I give Lennon a quick hug and meet Ford's eyes over her head. He offers a weak smile. I don't know if he feels bad for Lennon tattling on me or if he knows Wyatt is about to interrogate me.

Taking Wyatt's hand, I let him lead me upstairs to our room.

"Strip," he says after locking the door.

"You can't boss me around like this," I say .

He doesn't even acknowledge me. Instead he goes into the bathroom and starts the shower. By the time I get in there he's already taken off his shirt and is working on his jeans and underwear.

"Birdie. I'm not asking again."

"You didn't ask me the first time," I snap. Then I rip my shirt off over my head. I step out of my shorts and underwear, and join him in the shower.

He's standing under the stream of water with his back to me. I kiss his left shoulder blade and then his right one.

Resting my head against his back, I wrap my arms around him. The pads of my fingers dig into the hard muscle of his abdomen. He sighs and the storm inside him begins to calm.

He turns to face me and maneuvers us where I'm standing under the spray. He cradles my face in his hands. His touch is tender. I want him to be demanding. That I can handle. I can fight that. Wyatt being sweet like this makes me puddy in his hands.

"I don't know why you were crying. I'm guessing it's another one of those nothings you are being surreptitious about."

"Good one," I say softly. It's been harder to play our little game out here since we're so busy, but he's managed to get a few words in here and there.

"If you need to cry, you can cry in here and no one has to know."

Wyatt kisses me with so much love I feel it in my toes. The kiss opens the floodgates. Tears stream down my face, mixing with the water from the shower .

I can't identify the feelings behind the tears. It feels like years of frustration from holding it together. For pretending to be strong when I should have let myself fall apart.

It's also sadness and grief. I feel the loss of a life I could have had with Wyatt and it's gut wrenching. In a few months there is going to be a giant hole in my heart and I don't know how to get myself out of this mess.

Wyatt is silent as he washes my hair and my body. He makes quick work of cleaning up himself while I stand numb and afraid of our future.

He wraps me up in a towel and carries me to bed. "Feel better?" he asks, tucking us in.

"A little. Thank you."

He pulls me closer into his chest and our legs tangle together.

With a sigh I say, "I don't know how I'm going to say goodbye." To you . I think to myself because I'm afraid to admit it out loud.

"Me too, baby," Wyatt says, squeezing me tighter. His words make me think he knows I'm talking about him and maybe he doesn't want to say goodbye to me either.

"And you said everything in that old barn was junk," Jack gloats as we eat our ice cream sundaes on the screen porch at the back of the house.

One of the items buried in the barn was an antique ice cream maker. The kind you have to hand crank. He's spent the last couple of days cleaning it and giving it new life.

That's a personality trait he has passed on to all of his children. Each one of them sees the beauty in something when everyone else is blind to it.

"Yeah, yeah, you found maybe five things we can use," Colt says.

"That barn stored the farm's history." Jack turns to me. "My family founded the town of Rivers Bend. My great-great-granddad came here and fell in love with the place. He said the land sang to his soul. He walked this land and knew it was where his family was meant to be."

I look out to the wildflower fields and up to the hills where Wyatt plans to build a house one day. I feel the land too and the stirring in my soul. The urgency to plant roots so deep into the ground I can't be moved. I want to leave my imprint here because after a few short days it's left one on me. It only seems fair that I get to do the same.

"Are you trying to tell me those hills are alive with the sound of music?" Colt jokes, making everyone except Lennon laugh. The reference to The Sound of Music going over her head.

"Joke all you want kid. You know it's true. Once you're here it's hard to leave. "

I squeeze Wyatt's thigh just under where my knee is resting. We're sitting on the little loveseat together. He's been keeping his hands busy running his fingers from the hem of my shorts to the top of my knee since he devoured his ice cream in three bites.

"It is true," Wyatt says. He takes hold of my hand. "Dad. Mama. I've decided I'm not going to enter the draft. I don't want to play baseball after I graduate. I want to come back home and work. I know we need the money."

"Money don't matter," his dad says, interrupting him. "Are you sure you don't want to play? Growing up that's all you wanted."

"I'm sure. Dreams change. This is what I want to be doing. It's been hard enough being away at college the past few years."

"Those years served a purpose," Faith says, looking directly at me.

"They did," Wyatt agrees. His grip on my hand tightens.

"This will make you happy?" Faith asks.

"It's a start." Wyatt's eyes burn into mine leaving so many words unsaid.

"There'll be time for that too," Faith says like the true matriarch of this family. Knowing and seeing everything we can't. She knew there was something between Wyatt and me the first time she saw us pull up in his truck.

"I'm glad you're going to be staying Wyatt. It isn't the same here without you." Willow leans over from where she's sitting and gives him a side hug.

As soon as we get back to Newhouse, I have to come up with a plan to get the upper hand with Fred Abbott. He may think he holds the match but I'm holding the fuse. I'm not going to let him get close enough to blow up my world and everyone I care about.