Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

Henry

THE FIRST THING I do when I wake up is check whether Alex is still here.

He is.

My alarm hasn't gone off yet. The room is dark, the sun not yet poking at the blinds. Café life starts early, but I woke easily today, feeling more rested than I have in months.

I roll onto my side, allowing myself a moment to gaze down at the man in my bed, the dark hair on his head and chest, the content breaths whispering past his parted lips, the scratchy shadow clinging to his jaw. It's ridiculous for someone to be this damn handsome all the time.

Despite my whole body screaming for me to stay under the sheets sharing body heat with Alex, I drag myself off the bed. I turn off my alarm and start searching around for clothing. We never bothered putting any back on last night, sleeping naked with our limbs draped over each other.

I shiver remembering it. We cleaned up, but I didn't shower, and the idea that some lingering kiss of his smell will loiter under my clothes while I'm at work today sends a thrill racing up and down my spine.

I sneak to the bathroom to brush my teeth and freshen up a little, but when I re-enter my bedroom, Alex isn't in the bed.

My blood goes cold. My heart thuds against my chest for a panicked beat. Then strong hands grab me and push me against the nearest wall. I have time for one startled breath before Alex's mouth is against mine. His hands remain on my shoulders, squeezing hard. Mine go to his chest as the world threatens to tilt out from under my feet.

When Alex backs off, I'm breathless and half-hard, which is really, really obvious since I never managed to put any clothes on. I look down, embarrassed … only to find Alex in just as precarious a state.

Alex sets a finger under my chin and tilts my head up so I have to gaze into his dark eyes.

"I woke up and you weren't there," he says.

He sounds … hurt. Almost scared. I struggle to reconcile his tone with the three days of total silence he put me through.

"I have to get ready for work," I say.

"It's early."

"Café opens early."

"Oh."

He doesn't sound like he cares much about the café, especially when he lowers his head and starts kissing at my neck. I cling to his shoulders, eyes threatening to shut as Alex sucks on fragile skin. His warpath leads him all the way up to my earlobe, which he tugs between his teeth. A ripple of shivers assails my body. Alex must be able to feel my panting with his mouth against my throat.

He pulls away with a wet pop, and some sober part of my brain worries he left a mark. The rest of me hopes he did, wants him to leave that physical claim on my body where anyone can see it.

Alex cups my face in one hand, thumb stroking along my jaw. "You really have to go to work?"

God, how I want to say no. He's naked. He's hard. He's touching me. I don't know when the spell will wear off and he'll stop wanting to do these things with me, and a piece of me is tempted to take advantage of it for as long as I possibly can.

If I had a roommate, I'd call out and spend the whole day with Alex. But Chloe offered me overtime if I'd take a Saturday morning one of the high school kids bailed on. I was thrilled for the possibility of more cash at the time; now I'm regretting it.

"I really have to," I make myself say.

A moment of genuine frustration pinches Alex's face. "I'll be fast," he says.

Then he does something I never would have expected.

He slides down to his knees.

I blink down at him too stunned to react otherwise. Dark lashes frame his eyes as he peers up at me. He runs his hands up my thighs, then sneaks one to my cock, stroking until I'm as hard as he is. I'm grateful for the wall at my back. It's all that seems to be keeping me upright when Alex angles me at his mouth.

"Wait, are you sure?" I say. "I mean, I assume you've never…"

Alex pauses, and the sight of him holding my cock, aiming it at himself, waiting on his knees to take it, is beyond any fantasy I've ever dreamed up.

"I want to try," he says. "I'll be fast so you don't miss work."

"O-oh," I say. "Oh. Okay."

I really should have something better to say. I'm the experienced one, and he's clearly looking for reassurance. But I'm too stunned to move, let alone speak.

Alex takes my befuddled state as agreement, and I'm damn glad he does. I moan the second he slides me into his hot mouth, lips closing around me. He doesn't go deep, but it doesn't matter. The fact that he's doing this at all is enough to set my head spinning like a top. He bobs experimentally, pulling me out, sliding me back in, his lips tentative around me. He takes a little more every time, going slowly, and it's frankly torture, but of the sweetest sort. I don't dare push him to go faster, not when his earnest exploration feels so damn good.

He pulls off for a moment. "Is it okay?"

"Are you serious?" I blurt before I can stop myself.

He chuckles, but an edge of nerves trembles through the sound. "I'll take that as an answer."

"Jesus, Alex, you're going to kill me this way. Please, please keep going."

He scoffs at himself once more, but then he does, thankfully, get me back in that wonderful mouth of his. He's less shy this time, squeezing his lips in hard, being more daring as he bobs down me, and for a straight guy, he's learning remarkably quickly. I guess I shouldn't call him that anymore. The man has eaten my ass, come in my hand and, now, sucked my dick. It would be pretty ludicrous to keep calling him straight while he's on his knees stuffing his mouth with me, but I don't know what Alex would call himself at this point.

It's a concern for another time, a time when he's not sliding up and down my cock in a way that's driving me utterly crazy.

He starts to use his tongue, which I definitely didn't expect. He flicks it out, teasing my head, even taking me entirely out of his mouth for a moment to lick at me. I tilt my head back and moan as he swirls his tongue around me.

"Damn," Alex breathes.

I look down at him in disbelief. "I should be the one breathlessly cursing."

"Sorry, you just look so good like that. I keep wanting to watch you."

That is ridiculous. Completely ridiculous. Who is this man? How can he say things like that while doing things like this?

I'm saved from having to respond by Alex throwing himself back onto my aching cock. My head thunks against the wall. He can look all he wants. I don't care. I can't stand here stoically while he's going so deep on me. All that timid trepidation is gone. Alex is learning as quickly as I am that he's very, very good at this, that he has no reason to doubt his prowess in this arena.

I make sure to be effusive in my praise, my voice heating up the bedroom before the sun has gotten a chance to rise. It seems like every time I cry out, Alex goes harder and takes me deeper. He's sucking me as voraciously as any man I've ever met. My cock certainly doesn't know the difference between him and someone supposedly more experienced. He even hollows out his cheeks, and I have no idea where he could have picked that up. Maybe it's a lucky guess. It's lucky for me, certainly.

This entire time, Alex keeps one hand on my cock. Maybe to steady me. Maybe to give himself some end point. He removes that hand now, and holy shit, the man actually manages to go even deeper on me. I worry he's going to choke himself, but the additional fullness doesn't perturb or slow him at all.

I thread a hand into his short, tidy hair, shamelessly messing it up. I don't move his head, but I do tug, testing how he'll react. Alex groans around me, and I feel the sound all the way up to my throat.

"Shit, you're good at this," I pant. "You're really good at this."

He hums or moans, some kind of sound that seems way too pleased for a guy doing this for the first time. I guess I'm not helping matters with how obviously he's destroying me. My thighs tremble, my legs threatening to give out as tension builds inside me. I'm like a train without brakes, screaming down the tracks at ever more reckless speeds. All I can do about it is cling to Alex's hair and hope I don't shatter.

"Alex," I whine, "Alex, I think I'm close. You should back off or I…"

My warning dies on a moan. Alex keeps going. I give his hair a harder tug.

"Alex, I can't hold back much longer. Seriously."

There's no way a guy who told me he was straight a week ago is ready to swallow what's coming his way, but Alex isn't backing off for some reason. I fight desperately for control, but with every bob of Alex's head, it slips away from me a little more.

"Alex," I groan one final time.

But his mouth is too good, and try as I might to hold back, I can only fight the sensation boiling inside me for so long.

I break at last, flying off the tracks with wild abandon. I can't stop myself from exploding into Alex's mouth, wave after wave pouring out of me as he holds me deep. His throat works around me, taking all of me, every single bit. It's incredible, dizzying, disorienting. I sink against the wall, and before I know it, I'm sinking even lower, sliding all the way down to the floor while Alex wipes at his mouth.

For a moment, we sit there panting at each other. My astonishment is mirrored on Alex's face, but his comes edged with amusement.

"Did I do it right?" he says.

I gape at him. Then his smile twists, and I swat at his arm.

"I can't believe you've never done that," I say.

"I tried to do it the way you did it for me."

"Well, you're certainly a quick learner. I really might miss work after that. I'm supposed to go be normal now?"

Alex grins at himself. "I'll help you get ready to make up for distracting you."

He helps me up, only using one hand, and I realize then he's holding his own mess in the other. Well… That's interesting. I guess he really was into it.

I run through the fastest shower of my life while Alex dresses in the bedroom. I don't trust myself to smell normal after round two. Once I'm clean, Alex walks me to my door, and we start heading toward the café. But when we reach the place where we have to veer off in different directions, I stop him with a hand to his arm.

"Will I get to see you again?" I say. "While you're here, at least."

Alex's face hardens. "Yes. Definitely."

He answers me like it's a challenge and not an invitation. Because for him it is, I realize. For him this isn't a bi awakening and perhaps a bit of fun. If last night revealed anything to me, it's that his parents would go ballistic over this.

I kiss him goodbye and head toward the café, but my steps aren't as light as they should be. What if I'm nothing more than his (very late) teenage rebellion? What if for Alex this is a way to defy his parents, but not anything real?

It's extremely real for me, and I don't know what I'll do if he doesn't feel the same.