16. Dalton

CHAPTER 16

She's coming back.

That's what I keep telling myself. We had three days of sneaking kisses and holding hands when no one was around, and at night, she joined me in my bedroom. We made love, we talked, we got to know each other's dreams, and then we made love again. It was perfect. Every time I held her, I knew that I didn't want to let her go. I wasn't sure how to approach her about it, but then I figured I had more time when Hank said it would be a few more days for her car to be fixed, so I lent her my truck. At least then, I knew she had to come back.

She's been gone, and even though we haven't talked, I have followed her on the app. She's been posting videos of her time away, and at first, I was just thankful to be able to see her. But then as life intervened, I started to really think about things, and I started to doubt what I have to offer her.

Her videos all show her having fun, living it up, reminding me that she's twenty-five and free. She can travel any time she wants to, and if I need or want to go on a trip, I need months to plan it. It seems the more I doubted myself, the more my life tried to show me that I was right. We can't be together.

"I miss Gia," Ethan says.

I nod. "Yeah, me too."

Evan lies back and closes his eyes. "Me three."

Ethan leans up on his elbows. "Can you call her, Daddy?"

I put my hand to his warm head. Both boys have been sick since Gia left. But at least his fever seems to be breaking. "She's working, son."

Evan rolls on his bed toward us. "Yeah, but if she knew we were sick and that we needed her, she would come, Dad. You know she would."

I sigh. I know he's right. I'm not sure how to explain the connection between Gia and the twins, but it's obvious that they are synced with one another. "I know she'd come, but this is her job, boys. I'm not going to ask her to come when she needs to be working. Look, she'll be home in a few days, and you'll have Sunday night with her."

I wait for them to argue, but instead, Ethan leans over and throws up into the trash can by his bed. The stomach bug has hit both boys pretty hard, and I hate seeing them as sick as they are. I'm making sure they get fluids, and they have been able to eat some toast, but that's it.

I'm holding on to Ethan's head, murmuring words of encouragement when Evan leans over the bed, misses his trash can, and throws up all over me and the floor. Both boys start to cry, and I do my best to soothe them. When they are done, I know I need to get everyone cleaned up. I put them both in the shower, then strip down the beds, mop the floors, and then put clean sheets and blankets on the bed. I find the boys sitting on my bed, wrapped in towels. "You all right, boys?"

They both nod but don't say anything.

"Dad, where's Mom's picture?"

I clear my throat. I knew I should have explained this to them, but I thought I had more time. "Well, I hung it in the hallway. Is that okay?"

"Yeah," Ethan says, and Evan nods.

I stand next to the bed and try not to think of the last few nights and having Gia with me. I need to focus on my kids. "I loved your mother, and I miss her every day."

They both nod.

"And she will always be your mother. If I met someone else, that woman would not take away from the fact that you had a mother that loved you… you know that, right?"

They just nod, and I'm beginning to wonder if I'm saying this the right way. I sure haven't had any practice with it, and I'm so worried about saying the wrong thing. What if I do this and Ethan regresses? I can't let him go back to not talking.

Just when I'm about to take it all back and bring the framed photo back from the hallway, Ethan says, "Dad, if you start seeing someone, will it be Gia?"

Evan bounces on the bed. "Yeah, Dad. She already loves us… she would be great."

My phone rings, and I look at it and sigh when I see Miller's name. He knows the boys are sick, and I know he's only going to call if it's something important. I answer, and Miller starts talking. "Sorry to bother you, just thought I should catch you up. The tractor stopped working. It's done. I'm going to sell it for parts and order the new one, but it's going to be awhile."

Before I can make a suggestion, he says, "I talked to Rhett and Elliott, and they're both going to let us use theirs until your new one comes in in two weeks."

When he stops, I can tell there's more. I shove my hands through my hair. "And?"

"Well, another bull is down. I've quarantined him, and the vet is coming."

"Is it the same—"

"Yep, the same thing King had, from what I can guess. I'll test the rest of them and let you know."

I nod, speechless.

There's yelling on the other end of the line, and I count to ten to try and not freak out. This is ranching. Everything can be going great and then fall apart in a minute. "Okay, well, I'm sorry I can't help more."

"It's fine. I got this."

I hang up with Miller, and the boys are now lying in the bed in their towels. "You okay, Dad?" Evan asks.

I nod. "How about we watch television in here for a while?"

They both agree and lie back to see the television. I turn it to the station they like to watch.

I try to focus on the television, but instead all I can think about is Gia and her videos. She's so happy and carefree. She deserves more than what I can give her. I'm surrounded by a dirty house, vomit, broken-down tractors, sick bulls, and the list just goes on and on. Nope, the right thing to do is let her go. Even if it's going to kill me to do it.