Chapter 6

JACK

I keep finding my gaze straying to the door, hoping that Rhea isn't going to avoid the meeting this week because of what happened when she tried to turn me into stone. I don't think we left things awkwardly, but maybe she'll feel differently. Or worse, she'll have reflected on it and decided that it was weird.

The door swings open and she steps inside, smiling at me as soon as she finds me.

I push the seat next to me out, realising as I do that I never even considered that she wouldn't want to sit with me. I've met a few people through the grief support group, but none of them have made an impression like Rhea has.

She hurries over and drops her bag onto the floor before taking a seat.

"I'm glad to see you haven't had a delayed reaction to gorgon magic." She touches her glasses, as if to check they're still in place.

"Is that even possible?" I ask.

"No idea. I'm guessing not, but it's still something I worried about all weekend."

"You could have messaged."

She frowns. "I really should have done, I'm not sure why I didn't. I guess I didn't want to bother you."

"You can message me any time."

She looks at me and our gazes lock, leaving me staring into her dark brown eyes. They glitter through her glasses, seeming even more beautiful than the other day, if that's at all possible.

She clears her throat and looks away. "I did have a question for you."

"What is it?"

"Are you free on Thursday night?"

"I think so, why?" I ask.

"Well, it's my birthday and my flatmates are having a party. It's a long story, but I helped one of them with a surprise birthday party about a month ago and she's determined to return the favour for me now it's my turn. But then I realised she wouldn't actually know to invite you, or how to invite you even if she did, so now I'm rambling and asking."

I resist the urge to laugh. She's cute when she rambles. "A birthday party sounds great."

A wide smile spreads over her face and she reaches up to tuck one of her loose braids behind her ear. I don't know where her snakes are, but they're being very quiet.

"Is it not weird?" she asks quietly. "To have a birthday party?"

"A lot of people have them," I point out.

"A lot of people don't have dead grandparents."

"Actually..."

"Yes, yes, I know I'm wrong about that. But you know what I'm getting at." She takes a breath. "It feels strange to be doing something like having a party when Granny is dead. Like it's wrong for me to have one too many vodkas and go out dancing."

"Maybe if it was the day of her funeral," I say. "Then again, if she liked that kind of thing, maybe she'd have been honoured."

A sad laugh escaped from Rhea. "She was the life and soul of the party. She went on a trip with my parents one time and drank so much that she jumped up onto my dad's shoulders and made him give her a piggyback. When he accidentally dropped her, she laughed and started doing snow angels. I wish I'd been there to see it, but I was too young."

"She sounds wonderful."

"She was," Rhea agrees. "I miss her. It's like an ache."

"It is."

"It's the same for your mum?"

I nod. "I'll see something I think she'll have loved, or hear a joke she'd have found funny, and it feels as if someone punched me in the gut. It's worse when I think about the things she won't get to see." Tears sting at the corner of my eyes, but I don't do anything to chase them away. Maybe it's just because this is where we met, but I don't mind the idea of Rhea seeing me being so vulnerable. "She won't be there on graduation day."

"I'm sorry." She reaches out and puts her hand on top of mine, the touch more comforting than I expect it to be.

"Thanks." I let out a long sigh. "I'm sure there are other parts of my life I'll want to tell her about and can't too."

She nods and bites her bottom lip. "I'm already feeling like that."

"Because they'll always be gone," I say. "And there will always be things that they'll miss out on."

"It's weird because I always knew I'd lose her at some point, but I guess I just hadn't expected it to be so soon. She was in the picture of health, and wasn't even sixty-five yet." She glances down at her hands.

One of her snakes slithers out of the bun on top of her head, answering my unspoken question of where they're hiding. He curves himself around her neck, almost as if he's giving her a hug. It's really sweet. I've never thought of gorgon snakes as having much agency before, but he clearly cares for Rhea.

I reach out and put a hand on her upper back, rubbing slightly in what I hope is a comforting move and not me overstepping. I don't want to make her uncomfortable.

"It gets easier," I promise, though I'm not completely sure if that's true. There are still days where all I want to do is cry. Normally after I've talked to my dad.

She nods and wipes some tears away. "I guess I know that deep down, but I'm not sure it helps much now."

"Yeah, I know what you mean."

She sighs and leans back in her chair. "This is nothing like I expected it to be."

"It isn't," I agree. "I thought it would be much more consuming."

"Pull the duvet cover over my head kind of intense," she responds.

"Maybe it is for some people. We don't have the monopoly on how to grieve," I point out.

"Even if we're both here?"

"Especially because we're both here." I look around the room. "Everyone here has been to the session more than once, but I've seen a few people turn up and clearly decide that it isn't for them. But the people who do want to pull the duvet over their heads and pretend it isn't happening just aren't here, so we're not seeing them. It doesn't make their grief any less real, it's just different."

"In which case, I guess I surprised myself with how I'm reacting."

I nod. I guess that makes sense, though I don't think I've heard her say anything that suggests she'd have reacted in a different way. On the other hand, what do I know? I'm a nineteen-year-old gargoyle studying law, not some trained psychologist or mind reader.

"Maybe let's change the subject," she says. "Can I just announce we're doing that?"

"You just did," I point out. "Okay, let's see...what are the rules for birthday presents?"

"Oh, no. No presents," she insists. "But you have to bring your own booze."

"I can do that."

"Let's guess, Jack Daniels?"

I laugh. "Absolutely not, my budget doesn't stretch to brand names. And even if it did, I'd be much more basic than that. I tried a Jack and Coke once and nearly spat it out, not my thing."

"Ah, that's a shame. So what's more basic than a Jack and coke?"

"Don't laugh..."

"No promises."

"I like flavoured vodka. Blueberry is my favourite."

"I don't think I've ever had it," she admits.

"Aha, then I think a birthday present is in order, even if it's just a shot of vodka."

She wrinkles her nose. "Weirdly, that sounds kind of good."

I share a smile with her, realising that I'm actually really excited about going to her birthday party. I don't think I thought twice about how well we've gotten to know each other over the past few weeks, but I think I'm starting to realise it would feel wrong for me to miss it now she's invited me.

And that I'm looking forward to seeing her celebrate something.