15. Leo

15

LEO

B oyfriend.

I'd called Jacob my boyfriend.

The embarrassment had made its way down to my bones, as I sat in on the editing session the photographers were having from the shoot earlier. I'd also changed into just a regular t-shirt after my shower time with Jacob, not caring that I obviously had a hickey on either side of my neck, and especially not caring that Keith had been staring daggers at me the whole time because of it.

It felt like I was in some sort of strange, liminal space.

I so clearly belonged to Jacob, but he hadn't claimed anything about me outside of the lodge. And the whole boyfriend slipup had only made things more confusing, since he hadn't reacted to it, at all. I'd been expecting him to back off or back away, but he'd moved on from it like it was nothing to him.

Maybe because it wasn't anything to him.

"What do you think about this one, boss?" Tommy asked from where he sat beside me. He was holding his laptop a few inches away from my face. "I think it came out okay. And we already ran it through some post-edits, too, so?—"

"Looks good to me," I replied, with an enthusiastic thumbs up. The photo did look good, but I mostly wanted to make sure I came off as present and listening, instead of my mind being a million miles away.

"What about this one?" Tommy smirked before he clicked over to the next photo. I looked down to now see a photo of a shirtless Jacob from the shoot, his gaze flirty as he stared down the camera.

"I was thinking you might want to keep this one all for yourself? The rest of the Jacob ones, too."

"Why would I want to keep the Jacob photos for myself, Tommy?"

"Oh." Tommy's smirk quickly faded. "Never mind."

"What's going on, Tommy?"

"Nothing. It's just—" Tommy shook his head. "I overheard some of the guys earlier, talking about you and Jacob. It seemed like you two were a thing?"

My eyes went wide. "What do you mean? The guys were talking earlier?"

"Yeah, it's just?—"

"Does everyone know about me and Jacob?"

"What's the big deal?" Tommy shrugged. "It's not like anyone thinks less of you or anything. Honestly, it sounds like everyone's rooting for you two to get together. Or at least, for you to not end up back with Keith."

"So, what? People are taking bets now?" I scoffed in disbelief. "And this whole time, I thought we were being so careful…"

Tommy locked eyes with my hickeys, which I hastily covered with my palms.

"I mean, we were a lot more careful in the past." I grimaced. "It's, um, it's complicated."

"It doesn't have to be. Do you two like each other?"

"Sure, but this whole thing was just supposed to be a fling, I think." I let out a deep sigh. "You've seen Jacob, right? There's no way I make sense for him out of the context of being snowed in. And it's not just the physical differences, either. There's no way Jacob wants to be part of the PR world. He has his own shit to deal with."

"Have you asked him about what he wants?"

"Why? So, he can let me down easy?" My stomach flipped and flopped. "No, thanks. I'm fine with none of this being serious. Besides, it's better that way. I can keep my head in the game."

I nodded toward Tommy's laptop. "Speaking of, we should probably look through more of the photos from this week, see which ones are going to make it to the press?—"

"Can I talk to you in private? Please?" Keith was suddenly standing in front of us. "It's an emergency."

"Really? It can't wait until we're done going through the photos?" I frowned. "It shouldn't take too much longer?—"

"Leo. Please," Keith pleaded, his expression serious. "I just need to talk to you."

"Just give us a minute." I motioned toward Tommy before I stood up from my seat. I headed for the hall, assuming Keith would be following behind me. Once I reached the end of the hall, I turned back toward him, my arms already defensively folded against my chest.

"What do you want, Keith?" I tried and failed to hide my annoyance.

"I'm sorry."

"What?"

"I'm sorry that I've been such an asshole about everything." He looked up toward the ceiling. "I'm sorry for everything that happened between us, in our relationship. I'm sorry about the shit I said to you while we've been here, what I've said to Jacob. He's not a bad guy. He didn't deserve any of that."

"Keith, what are you?—"

"But I can't do this anymore. I can't just sit here and watch you walk around with fucking hickeys on your neck like you're in high school. Especially when I'm not the one giving them to you."

"Keith, I don't?—"

"Just let me finish, tater tot. Okay?" Keith offered me a small smile. "I've been thinking about this a lot lately, all right? Even before I signed up for this photoshoot. Pretty much as soon as you broke up with me."

Keith leaned against a nearby wall, seeming more nervous than usual. "You remember that place we saw? The one in Paris? When we were on vacation?"

"The one with the windows that opened out onto a view of the Eiffel Tower?"

"The one you said you couldn't live without."

"I was probably a little day drunk when I said that," I admitted. "Anyway, why are you bringing it up? Don't tell me it's on the market because you know I could never afford it. That place must start at well over a million dollars?—"

"I bought it for you."

"Very funny, Keith."

"I just got confirmation that the sale went through a few minutes ago." He held up his phone. "My realtor is sending over the papers now."

"You bought me a condo in Paris?" I blinked a few times, confused by the situation. "Why would you do that for me, Keith?"

"Because you said you wanted it."

"I don't—what?" I narrowed my eyes over at him. "What exactly are you playing at right now, Keith? Is this part of your apology, too?"

"Do you remember our trip to Grand Cayman? That tennis bracelet you saw in the window?"

"Keith—"

"You were day drunk, then, too." He smirked as he cut me off. "But God. You were so fucking gorgeous. I remember how you pressed your face up against the glass, trying to tell if they were real diamonds or not. They were. I went back later and found out for you."

"And then, you cheated on me so badly that it fucked up my self-esteem and sense of worth?—"

"Here." Keith pulled the tennis bracelet out of his pocket, each diamond on it sparkling and beautiful underneath the hall light. "I packed it with me. I wanted to give it to you the first day we got here, but even then, I saw how you were looking at Jacob. And how he was looking at you. And I thought I should just let it play out until you came back to your senses?—"

"You can't just buy me, Keith."

"What?"

"The way you're treating me right now…" My eyes were welling with hot, angry tears. "This is what you really think of me? Really? That I'm going to be impressed by you showering me with all these gifts and money. Like that's the only thing I care about?"

"That's not what this is, Leo," Keith pressed. "Fuck. I'm fucking everything up. I'm just trying to be romantic. I'm trying to… just be thoughtful, okay? I wanted you to know that I was always listening to you. Always. Even when you were only half paying attention to yourself, Leo."

Keith took a step toward me, gently grabbing my arm and pulling out my wrist. Before I had a chance to react, he'd slipped the bracelet onto my wrist.

"I love you, Leo." Keith smiled again. "I want to be with you. I want to treat you right this time?—"

"It's too late."

"What?"

"It's too late for this, Keith." I tried to push him away from me, but he wouldn't move. "It's over, okay? What we had between us."

"Why does it have to be over?"

"Because you were fucking other guys, Keith!" I said, a little louder than I'd intended. "Because I know I'm worth more than to be the guy you cheat on. I'm sure you can find someone else who'd love to fill that role for you but it's not going to be me?—"

"He's never had a serious relationship in his fucking life!" Keith shot back. "I paid someone to do some digging on Jacob, and they couldn't find much about him because all he does is run his company and nothing fucking else. Did you know that?"

"He told me that he usually just hooks up with people?—"

"And you expect him to be better for you than me?" Keith scoffed. "Fuck, Leo. Has he even said anything about committing to you? Or is he just fucking you to pass the time before he goes back to his sad, little life?"

"We haven't had a chance to have that conversation," I murmured.

"Stop. Stop doing this. Stop wasting time," Keith pleaded again. "Just try again with me?—"

"No."

"Leo—"

"No!" I finally managed to push Keith away from me. "And that's my final answer, so you don't need to ask me about it again."

"I'll show you," Keith said, his gaze stuck on mine. "I'll show you how little he cares about you, tater tot. Maybe that'll get you to appreciate what you have waiting right in front of you. Your snowed-in boy toy doesn't really give a fuck about you."

It was the last thing Keith said before he headed back toward the lobby where the photographers and the rest of the guys were still assembled. I watched him go, my mind racing with thoughts of Jacob, a crack in my heart forming right down the middle.

Because even though I would never go back to Keith, maybe he'd had a point about Jacob.

Has he even said anything about committing to you?

My angry tears slowly but surely turned into the typical sad ones, as they silently rolled down my cheeks.

As I cried over a man who had never even said if he wanted to keep me.

"We heard about the condo in Paris," Diego said, while offering me a hot chocolate. "Is it true? Or is that Keith just starting rumors again?"

It was pitch black outside now, with the photography team working well into the night on the edits from the rest of the week. The guys had been hanging around, too, all except for Keith, who'd been missing ever since our last conversation.

"You're not really going back to that jackass, are you?" Andrew added to the conversation, standing in front of me. "I can see the appeal of spending your vacation days in Paris, but with Keith? Why?"

"He's an asshole, mate." Chris shook his head, walking up to the couch I was sitting on. "There's no two ways about it. He sucks as a boyfriend, nothing more to it."

"I don't want to be with Keith."

"So, you want to be with Jacob?" Chris seemed excited about the possibility. "Not going to lie, I've been rooting for that one."

"I don't think it matters what I want," I said, mostly to myself. "I think there's a pretty good chance that I spend the next year alone. And the one after that. And the one after that…"

"At least you'll have this photoshoot to your name, then. That should be enough to keep you warm during those cold, lonely nights?" Diego shrugged. "You'll be able to check social media and see everyone praising you for your editorial direction and vision."

"Which Jacob helped with," I murmured. "So, I'll have to still be thinking about him, even when I'm drowning in the loneliness of those cold nights."

"What is going on with this pity party spiral?" Andrew quirked an eyebrow. "Sorry, Leo, but you don't seem like a quitter to me. Is there some reason you and Jacob can't make it work? Like distance or something?"

"I don't think he wants to make it work."

"Have you talked to Jacob about it?"

"Talked to Jacob about what?" Jacob asked as he walked up to the conversation. He was wearing a lot of snow gear, absolutely covered in thick fabric and coats. Bradley was standing right beside him, his usual stoic expression on his face, his eyes behind a pair of thick goggles.

"Nothing! Everyone! Disperse!" Diego's eyes darted back and forth before he broke into a full run away from the couch. Andrew and Chris followed suit, looking so suspicious it was hard for me to hold back a laugh.

"Weird." It was all Bradley had to say about the situation before he pulled out his phone and began to scroll through its screen.

"Where'd you disappear to?" I asked Jacob, standing up from my place on the couch. "I know you said something about checking on the roads, but I guess I figured it'd be something you could do on your phone?"

"No phone necessary." Jacob grinned. "Bradley and I went out to check the road conditions for ourselves."

"And? What's the verdict?"

"The path to the main road is clear. Bradley and I had a hand in helping with that. Looks like some locals have cleared off a few other roads, too," he started. "I have a feeling everything's going to be good to go by tomorrow, which means, you and your crew can still be out of here by the end of the week."

You and your crew can still be out of here.

You're mine, for as long as you're here, Leo.

I tried my best to ignore the way Jacob's words were stinging my skin. "Sounds good. Can't wait."

"And? How'd your photoshoot pics turn out?" Jacob asked. "Was it everything you wanted it to be?"

"Yep. Everything I wanted it to be." I faked a smile, feeling like I was about to crumble to the ground.

Jacob didn't want me. Jacob didn't want me. Jacob didn't want me?—

"That means all that's left to do is your interview, right? I think you mentioned having one toward the end of the week," Jacob went on. "Kind of a wrap up thing so they can get your thoughts about the photoshoot and everything that went into it?"

"Yeah, Tommy's going to help me with it."

"Don't sound so excited," Jacob joked, before he gave me a concerned look. "Hey. You doing okay, bab?—"

He quickly stopped himself before he went on. "Are you okay, Leo?"

I opened my mouth to respond, but before I had the chance, someone I didn't recognize came into the lobby. They were dressed like Jacob and Bradley, except they had longer hair, strands of it going well past their shoulders.

"Uh, who are you—" I started.

"Anderson. Brent, Anderson." The stranger smiled and held out his hand. "Nice to meet you. I own the lodge."

"Oh." I shook his hand, still a little confused. "Nice to meet you, too. You were able to get past all the roads? Even with the remaining snow?"

"The advantages of having a big rig." He beamed. "And I'm happy to see that all of you made it up here and made it through. I was worried that I'd finally get over here and everyone would've resorted to cannibalism or worse."

What's worse than cannibalism?

I desperately wanted to ask the question but chose to stay focused on more pertinent things instead. "What brings you out tonight, Mr. Anderson?"

"I just wanted to let you know that it looks like you might be here a little bit longer." He held his head down slightly as he delivered the bad news. "The roads are getting better, but as far as I know, the guys at the airstrip haven't come back to work yet. Which means, if you need to fly out of here, that just won't be possible."

"Wait. What?" I shook my head in disbelief. "How much longer do you think it'll be before the airstrip is operational again?"

"A few days is the best-case scenario. Another full week is worst case scenario."

"Shit!" The word slipped out of my mouth before I had a chance to stop it. "Fuck!"

"Are you sure?" Jacob pressed. "I just assumed with the roads getting better?—"

"The airstrip guys aren't as optimistic as the rest of us," Brent interrupted, shaking his head now. "They're pretty hard to convince, which, I guess is usually a good thing. But in situations like this, it can be frustrating. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, guys."

"I need to go—I have to go sit down—I have to—" I was already walking away from the conversation as I struggled to breathe. "Just give me one second?—"

"Leo?" Jacob called my name, following behind me. "Leo!"

My whole world was spinning.

I was pinching the bridge of my nose as I sat on the edge of my bed, trying and failing to calm down, trying and failing to convince myself that everything was somehow going to be okay.

I wasn't going to get that promotion in Roanoke.

Hell, I maybe wouldn't even have a place in PR if things went as bad as they could possibly go. All of the athletes and crew had been approved for a week off, so that time away from everything was always part of the plan. But if I kept them past their contract for a week? Especially the athletes?

There was going to be hell to pay. Someone, somewhere, was going to practically demand a human sacrifice, and they'd be all too eager to offer to burn me on the goddamn pyre. Of course, I knew that it wasn't my fault. It wasn't like I could control the fucking weather.

But I also knew that no one was going to care. All they'd see is some wannabe attempting to be the next big thing in PR and falling flat on his face. I could already hear the calls coming in from various agents and managers, threatening my life for fucking up their client's schedules, for taking money out of their pockets, and in turn fucking up their cut of the money, too.

"Baby?" Jacob's voice was low as he sank into place beside me on the bed. He reached his hand toward mine, gently sliding his fingers across mine. "What's going on?"

"Everything's going to shit."

"Everything? Absolutely everything?" There was a slight smile in Jacob's tone. "Are you certain?"

"They're going to kill me, Jacob." I looked over at him, feeling utterly helpless and hopeless. "I was the one who pitched this whole thing. It's my fault they're all snowed in, and it's my fault that their schedules are going to be fucked going forward."

"Leo—"

"Do you know how far in advance these guys make plans?" I felt myself trembling, emotion threatening to take me over. "Fuck. Even Tommy has a huge shoot with Nike coming up the day after he's done here. That's been on the books for ten months."

"Leo…" Jacob rubbed a small circle with his thumb across the back of my palm. "I'm going to need you to try and breathe for me, okay? Just take a deep breath?—"

"And what about you?"

"What about me?"

You don't want me.

You're going to leave me.

You're going to break my heart.

"Don't you need to get back to Wild Woods?" I moved my hand away from Jacob's and back into my lap. "I know you have Parker and Damon, but they probably want their fearless leader back."

"You don't need to worry about me, baby." Jacob reached for my hand again, but his fingers stopped halfway over. I looked and noticed the tennis bracelet Keith had given me was sitting between us on the bed, apparently having slipped out of my pocket.

"What's that?" Jacob asked, without looking up at me.

"It's nothing."

"It doesn't look like nothing." Jacob hummed. "It looks like it's a platinum diamond bracelet, Leo."

"I didn't mean nothing ." I rolled my eyes, fully frustrated. "I meant it doesn't mean anything to me."

"Where'd it come from?"

"Keith gave it to me."

"What?"

"He bought it for me. It's something I saw when we were in Grand Cayman." I tried to shrug off the conversation. "But that's not what matters right now?—"

"That sounds really thoughtful."

"Are we seriously talking about Keith right now? He doesn't matter, Jacob!" I didn't mean to raise my voice, but I felt like I was at my limit. "He also bought me a condo in Paris that I'm never going to go to because I don't care about him like that anymore! I don't want anything to do with him."

"He bought you a fucking condo in Paris?" Jacob seemed pissed, his demeanor shifting from comforting to adversarial. "What the fuck is wrong with him?"

"He also did some research on you."

"What?" Jacob went completely still. "What kind of research?"

"He was trying to find some dirt on you," I replied. "Anything to try and put a wedge between us. But he couldn't find anything. Except for stuff you already told me, like the way you are with relationships."

"The way I am with relationships?"

"Non-committal. Keeping things casual and then moving on."

"It's just easier." Jacob looked away from me for a moment. "Makes it so things are less messy. Makes everything so much less complicated."

"Is that what we are? Complicated?" I asked, my voice shaking. "Too complicated for anything that isn't just fooling around where no one can see?"

"Leo, that's not?—"

"I don't want to talk about this right now." I held up a hand, practically begging him to let me change the conversation. "I need to figure out what we're going to do about getting planes out of here."

"Leo—"

"Please. Just. Let me figure this out." I shifted away from him on the bed. "If I can't figure this out, everything's completely fucked."

Jacob nodded in understanding before he moved away from the bed now, too. A few seconds later, and he was closing my bedroom door behind him, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

Leaving me to figure out how to fix all the things it felt like I'd just broken.