50. Emily

Dad puts a plate in front of me: scrambled eggs with cheese and bacon. It's simple and it's the smell and taste of my entire freaking childhood. I was a picky eater when I was a kid, and this was basically all he could ever get me to actually finish, and so my single father chose the path of least resistance for once in his life and let me have it for basically every meal.

"You look good, kiddo," he says and sits across from me. He leans back in his chair and takes a long drink from his coffee.

"Yeah? I feel pretty good, if I'm honest."

He grunts and nods, squinting slightly as he smiles. "You're happy."

He's right; I'm happy. The past few weeks have been the happiest of my life, which is strange since they've been stressful and difficult for Simon and his family.

But I've finally found my place. After all the struggle with Dad, after going through hell with him and working myself to the bone, after losing my ability to trust because of what those scammers did to my father, I finally feel like I'm coming into myself again. I believe in Simon, but more than that, I feel like this family is my family too, and that's an incredible thing.

Dad and I chat about everything that's been going on but I mostly focus on him. I don't say it, but he looks good too. He's lighter, happier, less like there's something dragging him down and grinding him into the floor. I know Simon's money helps for obvious reasons, but I think it's also knowing that the scammers don't have a hold on him anymore and he can finally move on. I've thought about telling him about Simon's war against the call centers, but decide against it. I don't want that on my father's conscience.

I also don't tell him about the fight against Santoro or the pitched battle at the oasis, although he heard about it on the news. He accepted the "gas leak" explanation and we left it at that, but I have a feeling he suspects much more than he's letting on and chose not to press the issue.

Either way, he's good, and I'm good, and it's the most relaxing visit I've had with him in a long while.

"I'm proud of you, kiddo," he says a couple of hours later. Simon's driver and a whole squad of guards are waiting to escort me back to the oasis and have been keeping an eye on the house the whole time I was there. It's frustrating, being unable to move around without supervision, but I understand why it's necessary.

"Why's that? Because I got married and settled down? Believe it or not, that's not exactly unique."

He grunts and shakes his head. "Nah, sweetie, I mean all that other stuff. All the jobs you worked. How hard things were. Despite all that, you were still able to put yourself out there and take a risk on someone. Honestly, I was in a real low place for a while and I never thought I'd ever get out of it, but I'm using you as an example. I can start living again while I'm still here."

I bite back tears and give him a big hug. He deserves so much more, and I quietly vow to give him everything he could possibly want in his retirement. "I love you, Dad."

"Love you too."

* * *

It's quiet back home.I creep around the house, feeling lonely. Simon spends more and more time in the Don's office these days and I don't have the heart to hang around there much. That entire place is designed and organized around Freddie and Alessandro's life together, and it feels strange and wrong, changing anything. Freddie keeps saying I should start making it more my own, but I just can't.

Instead, I hang around Simon's place. Or I guess it's my place too. It avoided the worst of the attack and there hasn't been too much to clean up and repair, so I've been doing most of it myself. I finish painting over a bullet hole I patched over and start cleaning up the brushes, thinking about what life would be like if I had never met Simon.

What Dad said before I left keeps running through my head. He's right: I gave life a chance. That wasn't how I saw it at the time—when Simon caught me trying to steal from his restaurant, I figured I didn't have much of a choice but to go along with his deal—but now looking back, I could've run away screaming. Any rational person would have.

Instead, I was drawn to him. I took a risk thinking that there wasn't much I could lose, and it worked out like crazy, but I had to choose to give it a try instead of just drifting along like I had been.

The front door opens just as I'm finished and starting on dinner. Simon sweeps into the room and pulls me into his arms, kissing my neck. "I've been thinking about you all day," he whispers.

I turn around and bury my mouth on his. "Good, but before you start distracting me, I'm making you something to eat."

He groans. "Baby, you shouldn't have. It's like ten at night." He kisses me again, this time gentle. "I've been working late too much."

"It's okay. I understand. You have a lot going on."

"Still, you and I are so fucking new, and all my time's getting wasted in that damn office." He grazes my neck with his lips. "I should be spending it here instead."

"Simon," I warn, putting my hands on his muscular chest. "Dinner."

"Let it fucking burn." He kisses me, and I have just enough strength of will to turn off the burner.

Upstairs, we fall into bed together, and spend a sweaty hour making up for lost time. He's right, this is so new, and every time I touch him, it's like we're starting from the beginning. I lose myself in the way he pets me, the way he teases me, the way he fucks me and makes me come, and the way he holds me when we're both spent.

He runs his fingers through my hair as I lean my face on his chest, feeling sleepy and satisfied. "I'll clean up downstairs," he murmurs. "Don't worry about that."

"Leave it. I'll deal with it tomorrow morning. I just want you here for right now."

He grunts and hugs me tighter. "I know things have been hard, but they'll settle down. I promise, topolina, I'll take care of you. I'll give you everything."

I smile a little because it's such an over-the-top promise, but I believe him. I absolutely believe him, and I trust him, and that's the biggest step I've taken in a very long time. I should be out over thin air, taking a leap of faith, but instead he's holding me in his arms and I feel steadier than I ever have before.

"You know what's strange? I'm afraid of what's coming, but I feel like I can handle it."

"You don't need to be afraid." He squeezes me tighter.

"No, it's a good thing. When I was working two jobs to keep my dad afloat, I was terrified all the time and I just kept feeling like I was going to fall behind. But with you it's like, I might be scared, but I know it'll be okay, because we're together. I know that's sappy."

He inhales my hair and lets out a long sigh. "I feel the same way, baby," he says and rolls onto his side, turning me into the little spoon. "You're all the reason I need to keep fighting."