39. Simon

Isit alone in some random coffee shop right in the middle of downtown. It's a trendy place and the baristas all have tattoos, thick glasses, beards for the guys and nose rings for the girls. They're all trying to be different, but somehow manage to look exactly the same. Outside on the street, men and women in business outfits hurry to work, angling toward the high-rise office buildings, living their small lives in their tiny worlds, and it feels like my own life has expanded to consume them all.

At least the coffee's good. I take a long sip and let out a satisfied sigh. It's a little after ten in the morning and I'm running on fumes at the moment. I probably shouldn't have woken up early to fuck Emily into a stupor one more time before heading out, but I couldn't help myself.

It's like the worse our circumstances get, the more I want to get her naked.

The shop door opens and a woman enters. She's wearing a chic outfit with thick, dark sunglasses and her hair wrapped in a scarf like a movie starlet from the fifties. I motion for her to come over and she hesitates, looks around, and finally sits down across from me.

"You don't have to act like the Gestapo is following you, Mother," I say with a smile that I hope puts her at ease.

"Good point. Someone much worse is probably watching me right now." She smiles back and takes off the sunglasses. My mother looks exhausted and I absolutely hate it. Freddie Bianco is the most loving, gentle soul in the entire world, and right now she looks like she's going through hell.

"How are things back home?" I sip my coffee, trying to remain casual, but we both know how bad our situation is right now. If she was followed and my father's goons catch us together, I'm going to have to fight my way out of here, and Mom's going to be in deep shit with her husband. I didn't want to risk it, but she insisted on meeting in person, and I can't say no to my mother.

"Your father has the entire oasis on lockdown. Laura is understandably livid, Elena has been trying to talk sense into your father all morning, and Davide is currently holed up in his house with his wife and ten of his best soldiers armed to the teeth." She makes a face and laughs lightly. "I'm not sure who would win in a straight-up fight. Your father with the entire Famiglia, or your brother and a lot of ammunition."

I smile at her joke even though it's extremely bleak. "It won't come to that."

"I'm afraid it's going to. I've been trying to get your father to see reason, but ever since he got shot, it's like he's a different person. The old Alessandro is still in there, but he's in pain all the time, and he's compensating by acting twice as tough and being ten times more reckless than normal. Like if he just pretends like he's a big strong mafia king then everyone will believe it and all his problems will disappear."

I reach out and take my mother's hand. Her fingers are trembling and there are tears in her eyes. "I want to help him," I say earnestly. "But at this point, I don't know how."

"I'm afraid that option is long gone." She squeezes my grip and leans in closer. "Honestly, Simon, why didn't you accept his offer?"

I stiffen and take my hand away. She looks distraught, but I take a moment to gather myself before replying, because I don't want to say something nasty right now, not when my mother is on my side. "I love her," I say simply. I think it's the first time I've admitted it out loud, but the feelings have been growing inside me for a while now, and they've finally coalesced into one shining emotion.

Mom nods and chews on a fingernail. "That's good, sweetie. That's really good. I was worried you did it because you wanted to spite your father, but if you really love Emily?—"

"I do, Mom. I love her. I wouldn't marry that Santoro girl even if I didn't, but lucky for me." I finish my coffee and turn the cup in slow circles. "I need to get to him."

She stiffens. I hate asking this of her, but it's the only way. My father might be a hollow shell of the man he once was, but he still loves my mother more than life itself, and I don't think any number of gunshot wounds could ever change that one simple fact. They've been crazy about each other for a very long time, and I believe she's the only person he'll listen to.

"You're not going to kill him," she says. It's not a question and not really a demand. Just a statement like she wants to believe the best from her oldest son.

"I'm not going to kill him," I confirm. And I mean it. "Assuming I don't have to."

She closes her eyes and nods her head. "What do you need from me?"

I tell her my plan. It's surprisingly simple and came to me last night. I'm not sure it's going to work, but at this point it feels like I have only one option.

"I can't promise anything, but I'll try." She gathers up her sunglasses and puts them back on. "I should get going before your father gets worried."

"I'll keep Davide from killing anyone in the meantime. And, Mom, it'll be okay, I promise."

She nods, looking older than I've ever seen, and bends down to kiss my cheek. Then she's gone again, pushing out into the day.

I don't know how it's going to be okay.

There is too much pressure pushing against either side of me. Santoro is still out there harassing our soldiers and lieutenants while my father is patiently waiting at the oasis like a spider in his web. Either one of them will gladly gut me and feast on my entrails if they catch me, which means I have to be twice as fast and twice as smart if I'm going to win this.

I leave the coffee shop. It's a nice morning. I take a stroll through the downtown streets, humming quietly to myself, softly so that none of the nice-looking professionals think I'm an insane person, until I spot a man standing in the doorway of a sports equipment store located next to a dry cleaners. I walk over to him and lean against the front window.

"How are the digs?" Emilio asks. He's Davide's most trusted soldier and close friend. If there's anyone in the Famiglia I can trust right now, it's him.

"They're not bad. Tell my brother I'm fine, but I'm going to lie low for a while."

"That's for the best." He sighs and stretches. "Things are tense back home. I'm kind of surprised nobody's gotten killed yet."

"Davide can't turn this conflict into a shooting war. We're going to figure it out before the Famiglia starts tearing itself to pieces."

Emilio snorts and waves me off. "Nah, I mean, your sister Laura. She's fucking pissed."

I smile to myself. Laura would be mad. She's a homebody and barely ever leaves the oasis, but if there's anything she hates, it's being told what she can and cannot do.

"I need a favor from you. There's a restaurant in South Commons, it's this little Italian joint Santoro owns. I want you and your boys to torch it."

Emilio's eyebrows raise. "Don't you have your own guys for that?"

"They're going to be busy killing other people. Tell your boss it's coming straight from me, alright? He'll be fine with it."

Emilio cracks his knuckles and steps onto the sidewalk. "If there's one thing Davide loves in this world, it's killing Santoro's people. And his wife. But mostly killing." He shrugs and gives me a wave. "I'll tell him we spoke."

I watch Emilio walk off. For a while, I remain where I am, keeping an eye on the cars parked nearby, looking for movement, and anyone that walks past or drives too slow. I'm trying to catch a tail, but there's nothing suspicious.

I hate this spy shit.

But the lines are drawn. I'm on the outside, and if I want to break through and make Dad see reason, I need to play the fucking game whether I want to or not.