Chapter 10

Dinner is a true test of my restraint. I didn't see her after lunch, but what the hell am I supposed to do now? Mila is wearing a gorgeous red glittery dress. It sparkles in the light, highlighting her curves and shapeliness, awakening the animal in me each time I glance at her. She sneaks me secret looks, too, her cheeks blushing a subtle and cock-stiffening shade of red. I try to distract myself by speaking about my video game, but everything in me roars to reach under the table, touch her thickness, claim her, own her.

When Dimitri says he's going into the city after dinner, my instincts turn dark and brutal. "Are you going to take security?"

"I'm not sure." He gives me a look I can read easily. He's uncertain who he can trust.

"Change of plan, then. I'm coming with you."

"Are you sure?"

I almost laugh. That's the most insane question he could ask me. I need to protect my brother, but then a thought hits me. If Dimitri's right and there are Sokolovs who might be on the Petrov payroll, what if they try to hurt Mila? If they did anything to her when I was somewhere else, not able to protect her, I'd never forgive myself.

I think about the attackers being successful next time. "If those fuckers hit you again, I don't want you to be alone."

Dimitri stands. "Lia, can I walk you home?"

"Home," she repeats, her voice numb. She seems like a nice enough girl. Maybe a little standoffish, but Mila's been distant the whole dinner, too. I can't blame either of them. She stands up. "Sure." They both leave the room.

"I guess I can go too, then?" Mila says.

"You don't have to ask for permission."

Her chair makes a screek noise as she pushes away. "I'll keep working."

I can't stop myself from watching her go. My gaze fixates on how her hips sway from side to side in that dress, glittering and sparkling. Once she's gone, I turn to find Ania grinning at me.

"You love her, don't you?"

"Don't be silly," I tell my sister. "We just met."

"But you obviously?—"

"Cut the crap, Ania."

My voice comes out low and cruel. It sounds like the man I was when I resented Ania because I still thought I could care about my father and saw my sister as a stain on his marriage.

"I'm sorry," I say.

Ania waves a hand, looking down at the table, clearly hurt but hiding it. "It's not a big deal."

"Yes, it is," I tell her. "I shouldn't speak to you like that. You don't deserve it."

"It's my fault. Now's not the time for jokes or being lighthearted or whatever."

I move around the table, touching my sister's arm. "Really. I'm sorry." I'm unsure where this emotion comes from, but my voice gets husky. "… for everything."

Ania squeezes my hand. "Thanks. Now go save our big brother, okay?"

Taking out my cell, I text Dimitri, telling him I'm ready, but it's not true. Even when I get changed and head outside, I can't stop thinking about the fact it'll mean leaving Mila here. I'm caught between my brother and his wife-to-be. It feels surreal.

Outside, I lean against the sedan, trying not to run my hand through my hair more than once every few seconds. Dimitri finally emerges from the other house, stomping across the lawn. "Our father kept records of all the guards and their families," he says when he reaches me.

"Yeah, and?"

"In case they ever turned against us. If that was why some of them stayed in line, could it work with us?" He seems almost manic as he speaks, his eyes glazed as though he's seeing all the possible futures and ways this could go wrong. "They believed he would kill their wives and kids if they betrayed the Sokolovs, but would we do that, Mikhail?"

He knows it's a ridiculous question. "I'd never hurt a woman or a child."

"Me neither." He sighs, clapping me on the arm. "Which is why you need to stay here."

We have a brief argument, but the truth is, I want to stay. I halfheartedly tell him that none of our guards are on the lists Mila and I have compiled, but I don't argue hard. Maybe I should. Perhaps I'll regret this. What would I regret more, though, losing Mila or my brother?

"Dammit, Dimitri." I pull Dimitri into a fierce hug. I can't even think about that question or let myself imagine what it would be like to lose my big brother. "Just be careful, all right?"

He ends the hug. "I will. Keep the women safe. Keep our sister safe."

"I'll always do that," I tell him.

"Had a change of heart?"

I grit my teeth, thinking about our talk in the kitchen and the vulnerability in my sister's eyes. Dimitri leaves, and I take a moment to stand at the front door, looking over the grounds and the desert beyond it. Guards patrol, all of them long-serving men. If our father and Nikolai planted somebody on this property, they planned it long in advance.

Going back into the house, I find Mila sitting at her computer terminal, her headphones in, typing quickly. I walk over to her, about to put my hand on her shoulder, but then I see she's stuck a note to the top of her computer terminal.

Do Not Disturb. Music blares from her headphones, her fingers moving with rapid speed.

Pride floods into me as I watch her, but it's tinged with something else. Do Not Disturb, but she's already disturbed everything about me, down to my sense of self. Not too long ago, I was content to program, travel, read, exist, and not think about the future. I never thought about a family, kids, weddings, or anything else regular men obsess over.

Walking across the room—after all, this is why our setups are on opposite sides—I sit down and get to work, too.