Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Gregor

Iwoke later in the morning to discover the streets clogged with snow and the city practically shut down. The storm had grown more powerful as we had napped, and now there was at least two feet on the ground. As I toweled off and dressed after my shower, I looked out the window and saw deep ruts in the snow on the street. The plows hadn’t come around yet.

We were stuck. We couldn’t get out, and no one could get in at us either. Of course, that also meant my trip out to the Ivanovs’ place would have to wait. But that business was best done at night anyway. Right now, all I wanted was to stay in with Alissa and our little girl anyway.

Contentmentwas a strange variety of happiness, one I had never felt before. Maybe a little bit after sex or a good meal, but right now, I felt far more than that. Having them here, staying with them, made me feel like all was right with the world.

I checked on Alissa and Michelle before going out to have more coffee and check my phone. Both of them were so asleep that I probably would have had to shake them awake. I didn’t. They both needed lots of rest after all that they had been through.

I could really get used to this,I thought as I sipped my coffee.

But despite that, I was worried. I knew the longer I tried to make something permanent with Alissa, the more likely she was to learn about my occupation.

And once that happened, I had no idea if she would stay. I prayed she would since I knew I was already attached. It was too late to pull away, even if I could have mustered the will to. It had gone too far. Now, the parting would wound us all.

But this was worth the risk. They were worth it. And if I could stare down a gun barrel on a regular basis, I could deal with the prospect of that pain, and tell the whole truth.

Later. Right now, I just wanted to savor what I had before it might be gone.

I was halfway through my coffee when I heard tiny footsteps hesitating into the room. I looked over my shoulder and saw Michelle, mostly dressed but awkwardly carrying her purple sneakers, making her way toward me. She yawned widely as she approached.

“Need some help with your shoes, kiddo?” I asked, setting my coffee aside and crouching in front of her.

She nodded at me solemnly, and I helped her into her shoes. I tied each one slowly, showing her each step. “It takes time and practice, especially making the bow. Do you understand?” She nodded, and I straightened and helped her back up. “Good. We’ll practice more later, I promise. Are you hungry?”

She nodded.

“Want more pancakes?”

Her face brightened and she nodded harder, smiling a little.

By the time I had the pancake batter together, Michelle was at the table nursing a glass of apple juice, and I heard my shower running. By the time I was halfway through piling up pancakes on the serving plate, a dressed, primped, but sleepy-looking Alissa shuffled out to join us. Her yawn was as wide as our daughter’s.

“Good morning,” she murmured, giving each of us a kiss on the cheek before sitting beside her daughter. She peered at the big, thin pancakes curiously. “Crepes?”

“Russian pancakes. They get rolled around fillings too, though. How did you sleep?” I flipped another pancake, revealing its pale golden-brown underside.

“Good.” She hesitated a moment, but then smiled. “We should talk later.”

“Later” was code for “when we’re not in front of Michelle.” I nodded. “Of course.”

I knew instantly what it was about. But I kept my cool through making and eating breakfast, keeping my smile on for Michelle, knowing the last thing she needed was to have her traumas discussed in front of her.

Once she was enthralled by cartoons and a fresh tub of Legos, Alissa and I retreated to my study. It was just a converted second guest room, nothing cool like Vasily’s, but it had a nice leather couch. “What is it?” I asked her gently.

“Last night…” she started, and I blinked, caught by surprise. “I hope I didn’t shock you.”

I let out a soft laugh and reached out to cup her elfin little chin gently. “No. Relieved, really. It saved me from making the first move now that I’ve kept my promise to bring Michelle back to you.”

She looked relieved, but it only lasted a few moments. “But…” Her gaze slid away from mine awkwardly, then shyly drifted back. “You said you weren’t looking for anything long term.”

I heard the vulnerability in her tone and paused to choose my words carefully, knowing they would weigh heavily on her. “If you’re right about Michelle, we’re tied together anyway. I’m new at committing. New at sticking around. And there are things you don’t know about me that you probably should.” Not that I was looking forward to that discussion. “But I would like to try.”

I saw the happiness in her eyes at that, and prayed the truth wouldn’t end up snuffing it out.

She hugged me, and I held her, thinking about sneaking off to the master bedroom again, but knowing, especially after the broken glass incident, that I had to keep an ear out for Michelle.

“Is it going to be okay doing remote work from here?” she asked once I let her go.

“Of course. I’ll help you get set up. And if you need me to pick anything up from your home, let me know. I’ll need your key, though.” I didn’t, but I did need her permission.

“I’ll come up with a list.” She smiled at me, but then it faded. “I also have to make appointments for a doctor and therapist to look over Michelle. She doesn’t have any scars or anything but this not talking…”

I sighed and nodded. “I understand. Let me accompany you to the appointments for your safety. I will stay outside if you want.”

She licked her lips. “You have a right to be there if you want to.”

Her quiet sincerity poked me right in the heart. Now that I had said I wanted to try with her, she was all in. Please stay that way, I caught myself thinking, but simply smiled and nodded. “Just let me know when.”

***

It took until nightfall before we were dug out again. The plows were grinding their way through the streets while we ate a hearty beef stew, and kept it up well after we put Michelle to bed.

We had spent the day together, and I had loved it. It had been cozy, something about the closeness reminded me of happier childhood days. We had talked for hours about everything from favorite movies to her work as a CPA to her need to at least know the remaining Ivanovs had been brought to justice.

I had promised to let Alissa know as soon as I found out, but I felt strange about it. If we stayed together, I couldn’t keep lying to her. I would never be able to tell her much about the organization, but she deserved to know as much as I could afford. She would find out something was up eventually. Women always did, and I was no idiot. Better for her to hear it early on, from me.

Now, though, she had drifted off in front of the movie we’d been watching, and I got up to go back to my study, phone in hand. The cat trailed in after me and I shut the door.

Two messages from Sergei. I called him back. “Sorry, didn’t have privacy before. What is it?”

“Need to talk to you. Face to face.” He sounded tired and uncomfortable. “And I need to warn you.” His voice was a little slurry. He had been drinking, and not a little. It shocked me, Sergei was normally sharp as a tack even after we’d had shots together.

“Warn me about what?”

“Vasily’s having me look into you. What you’re doing. The mother and child you’re sheltering. I don’t think he knows that’s your ex-lover and probably your kid. But he’s pissed you’ve been keeping things from him. If I were you…” he took a swallow of something, “…I would head this off. Go to him first, and quickly, and tell him everything.”

“You’re a good friend, Sergei. I know I owe him an explanation. I was focusing on keeping them safe and paying the Ivanovs a visit.”

“Table that second one for now,” Sergei suggested so firmly that he sounded sober for a moment. “Trust me, you need to see him first.”

I took a steadying breath, slow and deep. “Understood.”

“He needs to know that’s your daughter. Otherwise, he won’t understand as much. He’s been acting so strange the last few years,” he muttered, almost under his breath. “Now, most of what he does is cover his own ass and watch his own men.”

“Do you have any idea what’s going on with him?”

“I know his family stopped talking to him a couple of years back, but that’s all.”

I let out a low whistle. “All of them? He never said a thing.”

“Pride,” he said. Vasily had a lot of it. “No idea why his sons walked out of his life, but ever since then he’s been acting like he expects a betrayal from any side.”

“Huh. Well, he won’t get a betrayal from me. He’d have to do the betraying first before I even considered it.”

“Same here. But I admit, he’s not doing himself any favors by scrutinizing all of us while letting fringe players like the Ivanovs go unmonitored.” He coughed. “Probably shouldn’t have said that.”

“I heard nothing.” I sighed, not wanting to leave Alissa and Michelle but knowing I had to. “Where should we meet?”

“I—damn, that’s Vasily on the other line. Hold on.”

I held on, frowning. What was Vasily up to? Why had his sons abandoned him? And why was he calling Sergei on what was clearly a night off?

Things were changing within the organization, and with Vasily, and aside from Sergei and I, nobody seemed to have noticed. It was subtle, this shift, and the truth behind it was hidden from me. It bothered the shit out of me. And bothered me more,

When Sergei came back on the line, he sounded like he had sobered a little, and I wondered what Vasily had told him. “I’m sorry. I have to get some coffee into me and get over to the mansion. He won’t wait.” He sounded tense. Where had coolly cheerful, detached Sergei gone?

“I understand. Afterward?”

“I don’t know how long he’ll want me for.” A pause. “Gregor…call him tonight.”

“I will,” I promised, and he hung up before I could say anything further.

I gave it twenty minutes. When I called Vasily, I got his voicemail. I left a message. “It’s Gregor. I have more information on the Ivanov matter and need to speak to you in person. Just let me know when.”

I hung up, hoping that would be enough. I knew better than to ignore Sergei’s warnings, especially when Vasily had suddenly started changing from the man I had known and served for so long.