Epilogue

Beck-Six Months Later

“ H old, I need your help,” I whisper, trying to make sure Roman doesn’t hear me.

“Oh, so I’m not CT today,” he snarks.

I chuckle. I genuinely can’t help it. He still hasn’t figured it out, and it fills me with immense joy. “No. You’re just Hold today. But I really need your help. We need to come full circle.”

Holden sets his phone down on his bed and turns to me. “What do you need?”

“I need to ask Roman to marry me.”

He gasps, sitting up quickly, and presses a hand to his heart. “Oh my God! Really?” he practically yells.

He’s going to have Roman in here in seconds if he doesn’t calm down. “Shhh. Jesus. Be quiet. Yes, really.”

“Oh my God. Oh my God. This is the best. What do I need to do?” Holden asks in only a slightly quieter voice.

“Well, I need you to be quiet, for one.” He mimes zipping his lips as I eye him warily, knowing damn well he’s not going to be quiet. “And for two. I need you to give this to Roman.”

When I started thinking about how I wanted to propose to Roman, I knew it needed to be special. And he’s been picking on me forever about not writing him back all those months ago. So it seemed fitting, plus I get to include Holden like Roman did. He was an integral part of Operation Win Beck Hart Back, and now he gets to be an integral part of Propose to Roman Miller. Full circle. I glance down at the note in my hand, reading over it again.

It really is crazy that we never got to pass notes back and forth in class. I would have fallen in love with you so much sooner if we had. XOXO Beck.

I fold it in half and hand it over to Holden. “I’ll have another one for you to give him tomorrow.”

Holden beams, nodding so fast his dark waves bounce around on his head.

Roman has been gushing like a teenager over the note I wrote him. It’s so damn adorable. Honestly, some days, I’m not sure how my heart can even hold the amount of love I have for him. I’ve caught him reading it multiple times, a shy smile on his face. He always gets embarrassed when I catch him. Part of me feels bad that I didn’t do this sooner. But I know that it’ll be so worth it when I give him the final note.

I finish writing XOXO Beck on the one I’m about to take to Holden and smile.

I had the same reaction going to the bakery. I’d walk in the door and you’d hit me with those gorgeous eyes, that shy smile, and that little blush, and I’d almost trip over my own feet. I wouldn’t trade those days for anything. XOXO Beck.

I know the second that Holden gives Roman the note because he rushes into the room, holding it in his hand, a blinding smile on his face. God, he always takes my breath away. “Come here, beautiful,” I say, and he all but runs across the room to me. That’s a sight I’ll never get tired of.

“This is so special to me,” he whispers the second he’s in my arms.

“Well, you’re so special to me,” I whisper back. I want to rush it. I want to ask him now. Right now, with him soft and sweet in my arms, that shy smile on his lips. But it’s not time. I have a whole plan.

Dammit, Beck. Stick to the plan .

So before my mouth can betray me and do something stupid, I pull him in closer, slotting our lips together, and kiss him until we’re both breathless.

I love that the little rabbit has such a high place of esteem in our bedroom. Sometimes, I’d about swear the longing was going to kill me. Holding that rabbit was the only thing that got me through until I got you back. I’ve said it a hundred times, but I love you. Thank you for coming back to me. XOXO Beck.

When Roman finishes reading the note Holden handed him at the breakfast table, he looks up at me with tears swimming in his eyes. “I love you.”

I smile. “I love you too, beautiful.” He no longer feels the need to apologize to me all the time, and I love that. I love that we are both secure in ourselves and each other. I can’t imagine my life any other way.

He’s so perfect for me. So perfect in general. I can’t wait to make him my husband. I shove a bite of eggs into my mouth, trying hard to resist the urge to drop to my knees right here in front of him. The ring is burning a hole in my pocket.

Two days, Beck. Just two more days.

When Roman wrote me the final note, I was heartbroken. Well, not at the time because I didn’t know it was the last one. But I had been heartbroken when Holden walked past me without a second glance after that day at the bakery. I was beside myself, and half-tempted to corner Holden and ask him what I did wrong. I didn’t, obviously, but I wanted to. Then Roman showed up with flowers and my favorite beef jerky, and just like that, things felt right again.

Now I’m sitting down, my hands shaking as I prepare myself to respond to his final note. The one after this is all me. I have no prompt to follow, no words to respond to—just me, and one important question.

I glance up one more time at the corkboard with all his notes pinned to it, with mine tucked below the corresponding ones.

I read every single word you wrote, over and over again. I couldn’t stop. I’m sorry I let you believe I wasn’t. I’m so glad you didn’t stop fighting for me. I’ll never give up on you either. You’re everything to me. XOXO Beck.

My hands tremble as I set down the pen and fold the note to take it to Holden. He’s just as excited as I am. Honestly, sometimes I think he might be more excited.

I knock on his bedroom door and open it a bit. “Hey, Hold?”

“Come in.”

The second I hold the piece of paper up, a huge smile lights up his face. “My last one, yeah? Then tomorrow is all on you.”

I blow out a shaky breath. “Don’t remind me. I’m kind of freaking out.”

He pats the edge of his bed, so I sit down, knowing I’m about to become the recipient of a “Holden Talk.” For someone who’s younger than both Roman and I, it’s impressive how wise he is for his years.

He takes my hand in his. “I’ve never met anybody more suited for each other than the two of you. This is the sweetest way ever to propose. He’s going to love it.”

“What if he doesn’t say yes?” I ask, abject horror at the prospect clawing its way up my throat.

Holden levels me with a glare so deadly it almost stops my heart. “Not a fucking chance. I’m not even going to dignify that stupid-ass question with a response.”

I start to apologize, but then he opens his mouth again. “Actually, never mind. Yes, I am. Have you forgotten that the two of you have literally loved each other for over ten years? That’s love song shit right there, Beck. I don’t wanna hear any doubt.”

I nod. “You’re right.”

He drops his gaze, his fingers playing absently with his bedding. “Plus, if you two don’t make it, what fucking chance do I have?” I think he means for the comment to be flippant, but it comes out so fucking sad that it makes my heart clench. It’s very rare that I see this side of Holden, and it never gets easier when I do. He looks so achingly young when he lets his guard down, and it never fails to break my heart.

I gently lift his chin. “You’ll find someone perfect for you, if that’s what you want.”

He shrugs, the sadness clearing from his eyes between one blink and the next. He bats my hand away. “Okay, so give me the note.”

I sigh, knowing the conversation is done, and hand it over to him.

It’s go time, and I am this close to freaking the fuck out. I have confidence that he’s going to say yes. Mostly. But God, this is nerve-wracking. I pace back and forth in our bedroom, waiting for him to get in here. I heard him come in the front door a few minutes ago, so I know he’s here. He’s been working so hard getting the center up and running, and I’m so fucking proud of him, but if he doesn’t get in here right now, I may lose my mind. Or throw up. Or both.

I reach into my pocket, my fingers absently playing with the ring. Oh God, he needs to hurry. I’m about to go from almost freaking out to actually freaking the fuck out.

Just as I’m about to rush out to find him, the door creaks open, and he steps into the room. My pacing stops as soon as I lock eyes with him. His gorgeous, warm eyes always stop me in my tracks. He smiles and steps closer. I grab him the moment he’s within reach, tugging him into my arms. I focus on taking deep breaths, letting the feel of his body calm the ragged edges of my nerves. “Are you okay, baby?” he asks, his fingertips dragging up and down my back.

“Yeah, I’m alright,” I whisper, but even I can hear the tremor in my voice.

He hums, his fingers continuing their soothing pattern. “Are you sure? You’re trembling.”

I swallow hard and pull back to meet his gaze. “Can we sit?”

He nods, taking my hand and leading me to the bed. He seems so confident and calm. Really wishing I could steal some of that.

I sit down beside him, practically vibrating with tension, and pull out the piece of paper in my pocket. His eyes light up as he holds out his hand. He chuckles lightly. “No Hold today?”

Good lord, I am so nervous. “No. No Holden this time.” I hand him the note, our fingers brushing in the exchange, and I feel a full-body shiver at the simple touch. I hold my breath as he opens the note—my final note. It’s simple. Just a few words, but they hold the power to change my entire life.

Will you marry me? XOXO Beck.

His gasp fills the room as the paper flutters from his hands, landing softly on the floor. His wide eyes meet mine, and I drop to my knees, pulling out the ring I’ve had burning a hole in my pocket.

I hold it up to him and force myself to take a big breath. “Roman Miller. I have loved you since I was eighteen. You were my first crush, my first kiss, my first everything. I want you to be my last. Our path hasn’t always been easy—” My voice cracks as a sob threatens to break free. I have to take a couple of deep breaths to get control of myself before I can continue. When I’m finally able to speak again, my voice is choked and hoarse. “I thought I’d have to live the rest of my life with a hole in my chest. I had no idea that the day I stitched up your hand would be the day you’d start to stitch my heart back together.”

Tears choke me, and I can’t go on. Roman is staring down at me, tears streaming down his face too, but he’s smiling—my favorite smile. “I’m sorry,” I say, laughing a bit at my dramatics. “I’ll get through this in just a second.” I sniffle loudly. It causes Roman to laugh, and his laugh triggers my own.

Once we’ve calmed down, I clear my throat and take another deep breath. “I love you more than anything in this world. Will you please marry me?”

“Yes. Oh, fuck yes. I will so marry you,” he whispers, his dazzling smile lighting up the room. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

“Give me your hand.” He holds his hand out dutifully, and I slide the ring onto his finger. The sight makes my heart do something complicated, my breath leaving me in a quick rush. “Holy shit, we may have to get Holden in here,” I gasp.

Roman’s eyes widen in alarm. “What? Why?”

I place a hand over my chest, trying to get my racing heart to calm the fuck down. “Because I really think my heart’s about to explode. Oh my God. Holy shit. You really said yes.”

He glances down at the ring with a dreamy smile. “Of course I said yes.” His eyes find mine, and they’re filled with wonder, which does nothing to calm my heart down. “So… no actual medical emergency, then?” he teases.

I need him in my arms now. Like right now. Actually, like five minutes ago, but now will work too. I stand and tackle him to the bed, covering his body with mine. I’m shaking so hard that I can’t even support my weight, so I let myself collapse onto him. Our lips meet, and he slides a hand into my hair, the cool ring pressing into the skin of my neck. I groan at the sensation.

Fuck, this man is mine. I get him forever.

We kiss for what feels like hours, until the tears are long gone and all that remains is our laughter and the promise of forever.

The End