Chapter Six

My speed demon partner got us to the unknown trouble in record time. A block away, I killed the sirens. Julie lowered her window and slowed to a stop in front of a neighbor's house. No gunshots, or screaming, or people running for their lives. "Charlie-23 show us out at 8840 Vogel Lane. Do we have any additional information on the situation?"

"No, the 9-1-1 call taker was unable to confirm what the problem was. The woman just kept screaming, ‘We must save Paulie,'" the dispatcher replied.

"Copy."

Julie carefully surveyed the area. "It's probably a family fight."

"Or a drowning."

Julie shuddered. "God, let's hope they know CPR."

I examined the house with its knee-high weeds, half-dead trees and weathered wood in serious need of a paint job.

The front door to the house was flung open and a middle-aged woman in a yellow bikini stormed out. "It's about fucking time you got here."

Crap. It was going to be one of "those" calls. "Does anyone have a weapon?"

The woman looked at me like I was stupid. "Weapon? No. I need you to save Paulie."

"And who is Paulie?" Julie asked.

"My parakeet."

My eyebrows shot up. "Parakeet?"

"Are you deaf as well as stupid?"

In her best soothing tone, Julie inquired, "What kind of trouble is Paulie in?"

"He's in the tree."

Sometimes I really couldn't help myself. "Birds have a tendency to do that, ma'am."

The woman screeched, "I want you to get him down."

"I'm sorry ma'am, but we don't get birds out of trees," Julie stated firmly.

"But… what about my husband? He's up there, too," the woman cried.

Why hadn't she started with that? "Show us where your husband is."

"Follow me." The woman stomped off.

"Just when I thought I had heard it all," Julie muttered as we followed the woman through a messy house.

Their pool was on the green side and a lone pink floatie bobbed in the water.

The woman stopped and pointed at a huge eucalyptus tree. "He's up there."

Julie and I looked up.

Perched a good thirty feet up the tree was a hairy, old guy wearing a Speedo. He could be Sam Foster's twin. "What's your last name?"

"None of your business. Get Paulie down."

"Is Paulie your husband's name too?" Call me curious.

"Are you always a smart-ass?"

Taking a deep breath, I tried again. "No, we need his name so we can give him instructions."

"It's Chuck," she snarled.

Julie asked, "Why did Chuck climb the tree?"

"To get Paulie, you moron." Her voice dripped with contempt.

A loud cracking snap had us staring up at Chuck.

"Don't you dare drop Paulie," the woman screeched.

"I won't Helen. I won't." Chuck's voice shook with fear.

I eyed Helen in disbelief. Apparently, she didn't give a rat's ass about her husband.

Julie scowled. "The parakeet can fly. Your husband can't."

"Then climb up there and get him down," Helen snapped.

"No, we are not doing that. We don't have a ladder or safety harnesses."

The woman gestured at a small step ladder. "Yes, you do."

"We need rope and a safety harness to get Chuck down safely," I replied.

Julie keyed her radio mic, "Radio, we need the fire department at our location to get a man out of a tree."

"We don't need the fucking fire department. Just do your job," Helen hollered.

Too bad my mean-mother voice didn't work on women. "We need a safety harness to keep him from falling and breaking his neck."

"You're both fucking morons. I want to talk to your supervisor. Now!"

I keyed my mic, "Charlie-23 we need George-20 at our location."

"Copy, Charlie-23," the dispatcher responded.

Sergeant Bergman's baritone voice had a note of irritation in it as he replied, "George-20 show me en route."

Snap!

Crack!

The branch Chuck was standing on fell and hit the green pool with a big splash.

Julie and I backed up a couple of steps. A Burmese python was wrapped around the branch.

"Holy shit!" Julie muttered.

"No, kidding."

"Don't drop Paulie," Helen shouted as her husband clung to the tree.

A male voice shouted, "Hello. Peoria Fire Department."

"Back here," I yelled.

Chuck screamed, "Help me! Help me!"

Four firefighters in full gear trotted out of the house and stared up at Chuck.

"What is he doing in the tree?" The fire captain asked.

Fighting back a grin, I answered, "Saving Paulie."

"Paulie?" the fire captain repeated in confusion.

Julie nodded. "Yep, their pet parakeet."

"Go get the climbing gear, Doug," the fire captain ordered.

Doug hurried off.

Chuck slid a foot down the tree. "Help! I'm falling."

"If Paulie gets hurt, I'm suing your asses," Helen spat.

Sergeant Bergman snapped. "No, you will not."

Sometimes Sarge's sneaky Ninja moves were awesome.

Helen's eyes bugged. "What are you doing here?"

Julie shot me a "what the hell" look.

I shrugged.

"You asked for a supervisor," Sergeant Bergman snarled.

Yikes, some bad blood there. From the expression on his face, the fire captain thought so too.

Helen scowled. "You're in charge of those two idiots?"

"You will treat my deputies with respect. Do you understand me, Helen?"

Her hands fisted; Helen glared at Sergeant Bergman. "They refused to climb the tree to rescue Paulie."

"Which is protocol. The fire department has the proper climbing gear to handle that type of rescue. With his heart problems, Chuck should have never climbed that tree in the first place."

"I want them out of my house. Now!"

Sergeant Bergman turned to us. "I have this. Go back in service."

"Yes, sir." Julie turned to leave and yelped when the Burmese python rode the pink floatie to the edge of the slimy pool.

My hand dropped to the butt of my gun. If that sucker made any move toward us, it was one dead snake.

"It's harmless," Sergeant Bergman assured me.

I shot him a disbelieving look. "Un-huh."

"Get out of my house," Helen shrieked.

"Yes, ma'am." We left.

"Well, that was weird," Julie said.

"Yep, and how does the Sarge know them? Are they family or do they go to his church, or…?"

Julie shook her head. "Dunno. I think we need to do a deep dive on the Sarge."

"But on the downlow. He can't find out."

"Yeah, boy, if he found out…" Julie shuddered. "God help us."

Across the street a garage door opened.

Kaboom!

The force of the explosion blew me off my feet and I was vaguely aware of a huge fireball rising high into the air. Debris pelted my body, and everything faded to black.