9. Noah

Itake in the confusion—the anguish—on Brighton's face, but under the circumstances, there's no time for words other than, "Brighton. Move." She gulps in air, and slides off my body, and the second her feet hit the floor, I jump from the bed, and put her behind me. "Where the hell…" I scan the bed, my heart racing.

"Noah, what…what is going on?" Her shaky voice rushes over my skin as one quivering hand touches my arms almost tentatively as she tries to see around me.

Christ, this is not how I wanted things to go down after the most amazing sex I've had since…ever. All I wanted was to linger in bed with her, touch her body, press soft kisses to her flesh, but some hairy asshole had different plans for us.

"Brighton. I'm sorry. I don't mean to frighten you. I just needed you out of the bed."

"Was it awful or something?"

The shakiness of her voice rakes over me and my stomach clenches. Why do my words always come out wrong around her? I turn quickly, and the tears filling her eyes hit like a punch to the throat. Jesus, I didn't mean to upset her like this.

I put my hands on her arms. "No, Jesus no. That was incredible…it's just…" I move her a little further back and then pull her in beside me, keeping my arm around her body as I show her the mussed bed. "Look."

She stares for a second, and a sound I have no control over crawls out of my throat as a hard shiver goes through me. With her nose scrunched her gaze goes from the bed, to me, back to the bed. "What am I looking at?"

"Oh Jesus," I practically yell when I no longer see the big hairy asshole.

"Noah, what is it?"

"It just went under the pillow." I start pacing and shaking my hands. "Fuck." How can I ever sleep in that bed again?

"What went under the pillow?"

"The spider. You didn't see it?" I point. "It went under my pillow."

Her eyes go wide as she stares at me, like I might have just escaped an asylum, and then when understanding hits, she puts her hand over her mouth, but she can't hide her smile, not when it's lighting up her big blue eyes like laser beams. What the fuck?

"Noah," she mumbles her hand still covering her mouth. "Ohmigod, Noah."

"What?"

She puts one hand on my arm, in a consoling manner. "You're…you're afraid of spiders?"

I stride around, my skin itching as I look for something to crush it. "It's not funny."

"I know."

I shake my head at her, and she drops her hand, but she drags her bottom lip between her teeth to stifle her laugh. "First you laugh when I break my toe, and now you're laughing because I don't particularly like spiders." I scan the floor for a weapon. "No one likes spiders. They're real assholes and they're lightning fast."

"Assholes?"

"What is wrong with you?" She steps up to the bed and I reach for her. "Brighton, no."

"First you didn't break your toe, and I'm not laughing at you." I'm pretty sure she just said ‘much' under her breath.

"You don't know if my toe is broken," I shoot back. What the hell is she doing. "Stay away from the bed."

Ignoring me, she lifts the pillow. The spider takes two steps toward me, and stops dead—except it's not dead. Nope, not dead at all. The bastard is alive and well and staring me down like were at center ice and this is a fucking face off. Goddammit. If only I had my hockey stick. Then I'd show the motherfucker who is boss. Maybe.

"Don't move," Brighton orders.

Like a ventriloquist, I don't move my lips when I answer. "I'm not fucking moving."

Everything in the way she looks at me suggests I'm the dummy, not the puppet master. Her body shakes from laughter as she hurries to the ensuite bathroom and comes back with a tissue.

She holds her hand up, palm out, like she might be talking to one of the children she used to babysit. "Just stay where you are. I'll take care of it."

"What are you doing?" I ask.

"I'm going to pick it up and put it outside."

I give a slow shake of my head. I don't want any sudden movements sending that asshole my way. "Don't go near it."

"Noah, I got this."

"Kill it."

"I don't need to kill it, and for the record, not everyone hates spiders. We're surrounded by foliage here at the resort and these guys help with the insects. They're our friends, Noah."

"They're no friend of mine."

I stand back as she throws the tissue over the gigantic spider, gathers it up in her hands and walks to the window. "Can you open this for me?"

"No."

She bites her lip. "I'll stand over here with this asshole." Okay, now she's just blatantly making fun of me. I stare at her as she backs up, putting herself in the corner and giving me a wide berth.

"Fine."

I cautiously walk to the window and crank it open, never taking my eyes off the tissue in her hand. As soon as she starts toward me, I go back to the bed and give it a once over, checking for more spiders.

"There you go, cutie," she murmurs, talking to it in a cooing voice, and now I'm suddenly jealous of a damn hairy asshole.

I shake my head. "Cutie? Seriously? Why don't you run off and have little hairy baby assholes together?" Yeah, okay, I know. I'm the only asshole in the room now.

"Ohmigod, Noah." I turn back as she closes the window. "What would you have done if I wasn't here?" She's still biting her damn bottom lip, and while that is sexy, it's because she's trying hard not to laugh at me.

I throw my arms out, mimicking a big explosion. "Grab Camryn and burn the place down." This time she can no longer hold it in. She bends over as a huge laugh erupts from her throat and I fold my arms and glare at her. "I'm so happy I'm here for your amusement."

She steps up to the bed, pulls the sheets back and gives it a check. "All clear."

"It's not that I'm afraid," I begin, back peddling as I try to recoup some self-respect. It's true. My voice did get a little high. "It's…they can bite."

She blinks rapidly and nods. "Oh, yes, and the bites are quite painful."

I eye her as we both stand in my room completely naked, like we do that around each other all the time. We don't, of course, and it's odd, but we're both completely comfortable, and I like it far too much. "Are you still making fun of me?"

"No," she practically shrieks. "I agree. A bite can be painful. I take it you've been bitten."

I fold my arms again and her gaze moves down my body. "Well, no. I just…"

"I don't like chickpeas."

I stare at her. Uh, what do spiders and chickpeas have in common? "You don't like chickpeas? Like the legume you use to make hummus?"

She scrunches her face in distaste. "Yeah, I don't like hummus, either."

I cock my head. Where the hell is she going with this? "You're telling me this why?"

"You just shared something very personal, and I want to share something too, so you're not embarrassed."

"I'm not embarrassed." I'm not. Not even a little. Okay, maybe a little. Or a lot.

Did you have to shriek in hysterics, dude?

"People dislike all kinds of different things. Now you know something about me, too."

"I'm not…I wasn't." I try again to tell her I wasn't embarrassed but give up and say, "I'll try to avoid bringing chickpeas into the house."

She turns her back to me, and picks up her clothes. Her body starts shaking again and under her breath she says, "I don't like them, but I don't scream like I'm in a face-off with Godzilla when I see one." A beat of silence and then, "Oh wait, that's it. Your nickname." She turns back quickly, amusement dancing in her eyes. "Jones-zilla. Or J-spider. Oh, I know. Itsy bitsy."

I cock my head, and take in her amusement—at my expense—but I don't care, she's fucking cute when she's playful. "Itsy bitsy?"

Her gaze drops to my softening dick. "If the name fits." She shrugs and I take a step toward her.

"Oh, you're just asking for it, aren't you?"

She laughs and jumps on the bed. "I'm probably safe up here."

"Like fuck you are."

Her eyes go wide and she makes a circle with her lips as she teases, "Ooh, is the big bad hockey player going to jump on the bed and risk another face off…with a spider?"

My cock springs to life as she jumps up and down on the bed, her beautiful breasts beckoning my mouth as they bounce. She gasps as her gaze strays to my arousal.

"Ooh, now I can call you J-bone."

I step up onto the bed, and drag her into my arms. I hold her too me, slide my hand down her back and give the sweet curve of her ass a little slap. Her eyes go wide, but it's not because she doesn't like it. Nope, I see heat and need there, and it makes my cock throb even more.

"Daddy."

The sound of Camryn's voice in the other room stops me cold and both Brighton and I go very still. "Shit."

"I'm sorry. I was too loud." She drops to a sitting position. "I didn't even think."

"Not your fault." I jump from the bed and tug on my shorts and T-shirt, my erection fading quickly. "She's in a new place. She probably woke up and got frightened. I'll go check on her."

"Okay, I should go back to my room, anyway."

I hesitate. Dammit, I really don't want her to go. "We haven't gone over the nanny rules yet," I mention to her. "Do you want to grab a drink in the den, and we'll do that after I get Bean settled?" I steal a glance at the alarm clock on the nightstand. "It's still pretty early."

This time she hesitates and I can't tell if she wants to stay or go. "Yeah, that sounds good. I'll meet you in the den?"

Happy that she's staying, I head to the door. I turn back around as she slides off the bed and starts dressing. "Brighton."

"Yeah."

"Raincheck?"

"For what?"

"To put you in your place for calling me itsy bitsy."

She chuckles and her cheeks turn all kinds of pink. "Why would I ever agree to that?"

"Because you're going to enjoy it."

She bites her lip and I open the door, cutting across the hall to my daughter's room. "Hey," I whisper as I enter, the moon and stars over her bed providing sufficient light for me to see her. "You okay, Bean?"

"I heard a noise."

I listen for a second and off in the distance waves lap at the shore below. "Come here." She crawls out of her bed, and I walk to her window and open it. "Is this what you heard?"

She nods. "That's just the ocean falling asleep. If you listen to it, it will help you sleep too." I briefly close my eyes. "I love the sound." I notice Charlie in her hands. "I bet Charlie wanted back in this room because he loves the sound of the ocean too."

She grins. "I think he does."

"Come on, let's get you back to bed." I note the book on her nightstand, and it fills my heart with love. "In the morning, we can have pancakes."

"Ms. Brighton said she'd make them for me."

"Are you saying you don't like my pancakes?" I tease.

"Daddy, yours have lumps."

"And what did I tell you about those lumps?"

"You said they were wish lumps." She puckers her little brow. "You said, every time I found one, I had to make a wish and I could wish on anything I wanted."

"That's right. Have you been making wishes?"

"Yes, I've been wishing for no more lumps and I'm still getting lumps." She thumps her palm against her forehead and groans.

I laugh at that, and she snuggles in with Charlie, squeezing him tight. "Do you like your new room?"

"It's peachy." I grin as she mimics her grandmother. "I like that Ms. Brighton is going to be my nanny."

I bend and give her a kiss on the forehead. "I'm so glad."

She wiggles as I tuck the blankets around her. "I know," she bursts out excitedly. "Maybe I'll wish on my lumps that she'll be my new mommy."

I gulp, my heart aching for the hole this little girl has smack dab in the middle of hers. She's far too young to feel the pain of so much loss. "It's good to have wishes, but remember not all wishes come true."

"I know," she bursts out. "But I'm going to wish for that, Daddy."

I try to breathe through a measure of panic. "Ms. Brighton is only watching you for the next NHL season, Bean. Then we'll go from there. She's probably going to want to go back to doing other things."

"Okay, Daddy," she groans, and grins, like she has a secret I don't know about.

Boards creak at the end of the hall, and I turn toward the sound. Shit, how much did Brighton hear? Every instinct I possess tells me to run, to get out of here before my daughter is in too deep, but it might already be too late for that. I leave in a couple of weeks and no way will I be able to find good care for Camryn now.

"Night, Bean."

I tuck her in again, and leave her room, closing her door and glancing down the hall to see if Brighton is listening. When my gaze comes up empty, I head to the living room, and go down another hall that leads to my den and kitchen. The sound of glasses hitting a bar top reach my ears and I follow the sound to find Brighton behind the big oaken bar in my den.

"You left the desk?" I question, as I walk up to the monstrous cherrywood desk overlooking the ocean.

"It's big and heavy and it's been in the family for generations. I thought you might like it. If you don't, no worries, I can have it removed tomorrow."

I pull open one of the drawers. "It's beautiful. It's yours, though. I can't keep it."

"I don't have any room for it, and it's masculine. I think it suits you. You'll have to get a new chair. My father's was pretty worn from spending so much time in it."

"Workaholic, huh?"

She snorts out a laugh. "Something like that?" She walks toward me and hands me a glass full of amber liquid.

"Like father, like daughter."

Another snort of laughter. "Yeah, and look where that got me." She holds her glass out for a salute.

I clink glasses with her. "I'm really sorry you nearly lost this place."

"Nearly?" She looks at me like I might have cracked my head on the ice too many times. "I did lose the place, Noah."

"Right," I agree. "But you're still here and you can stay here and you can always be a part of this place. I know how much it means to you. Plus, you have some time off and I don't think you've had time off in a very long time. That's not so bad, is it?"

She shakes her head. "No, I didn't mean to sound like it was. I'm grateful." She walks to the floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, now empty, and runs her fingers along the edges. "I don't remember a time I've never worked. I don't even know what a vacation is. It's so weird, to have all this free time. I don't know what to do with myself. What to do for fun?"

I lean against the desk. "We had fun earlier, didn't we?"

Her cheeks turn pink again. "Yeah."

"Does that mean you don't hate it? Your new position?"

"I don't."

That gives me a measure of relief. When it comes right down to it, I'm not the guy to be making decisions for her. I have no place or right to do that. What she does, and who she does it with, is all her business. But having seen the stress on her face, knowing the bind she was in, I reacted. And again, while I have no right to make decisions that affect her life, I just wanted to give the girl a fucking break, time to figure out who she was and what she wanted.

"Where do you see yourself in a year? Five years?"

With the glass tipped to her lips she turns back to me, her face flushed, sexy. God, I want her again. "This sounds like a job interview. Didn't you already hire me?"

I laugh and push off the desk. "Right, okay, so about these rules."

"I'm a full-time, private nanny for Camryn. Cooking, cleaning, seeing her back and forth to school when it starts in a couple weeks, etc."

"Yes, everything a full-time care giver would do. You can also drop her at the childcare center here as well, if you have things to do. I just don't want her there full time. Also, one of the women at the park near our old home, wants to arrange a play date. Camryn has a good friend from the playground. It'd be good for you to get to know her mother. I take Camryn to the park every Sunday, and I can introduce you to her."

She arches a brow, a sly grin on her face. "Are we talking about the woman who had you sandwiched on the left or the right?"

I grin back. "You saw that?"

"It was hard to miss, Noah." She pokes my chest. "I have a feeling the playdate this woman wants is with you." She rolls her eyes. "Could they have been any more blatant?"

"Jeez, kind of sounds like you were jealous."

"No, I wasn't. I'm not."

"I didn't know you were watching me."

"I…" She shakes her head, flustered. "You're hard to miss."

"For what it's worth, I saw you too. You're hard to miss, Sunshine."

She takes a big drink from her glass. Liquid courage, maybe? I'm not sure, but it's easy to tell she has something else on her mind.

"Sex," she begins finally addressing the elephant in the room, or at least its long trunk as it dangles between my legs. "It didn't change anything, right?" I eye her not sure what she's getting at. "I mean, I'm still the nanny, things are still the same? I mean sex is just for sex, right?"

Is she worried that I'm going to want more?

"Right," I agree, keeping my voice even, professional. I wave a finger back and forth between the two of us. "We can do more of this." I'm not sure if I'm asking a question or letting her know I'm game.

"Do you want more of this?" she asks and I give her a look, suggesting she might have come from Jupiter and crash landed on earth, banging her head on impact, if she has to ask that question.

I'm about to nod, but instead wink at her. "On second thought…"

She puckers her lips, her eyes narrowed in suspicion. "What?"

I lean in toward her chin. "There's a wiry hair we'll need to discuss first, Deloris."

She whacks me, and laughs and I love the sound of it. "I do not have a chin hair." Her eyes go wide. "Wait, do I?"

"No, I just like teasing you."

"I never knew you were so funny, Noah."

"That's because you never knew me at all."

She nods, going a bit serious. "Do you?" she asks again, maybe needing to hear the word yes on my lips, probably because she's remembering our past, but that's crazy. Who wouldn't want to have sex with her. Maybe everything that has happened in the last few months has seriously damaged her self-esteem and maybe even her self worth. I know all about that.

"For the record yes, I want to have sex again. Do you want to have sex with me again?" The sex was spectacular, but I can't assume she'll want more, despite what was said in the heat of the moment.

Her lashes lower as she leans toward me. "I was thinking about positions."

I touch her hair, lightly run it through my fingers, as my dick thickens even more. "Oh yeah, the one where I pinned you to the bed, hands above your head while I put my cock in you. Or the one where I buried my face between your legs." She gasps, but the heat in her eyes is a good indication she likes dirty talk, and I really fucking like bringing heat to her eyes.

"I guess…I mean. I understand my position with Camryn. I want to know where I stand with you."

"Stand." I take her glass from her and set it on an empty shelf. I put my arm around her body and back her up until she's pressed against the bookshelves. "If you want to stand, we can stand. If you want me to bend you over this bookcase, I can bend you over this bookcase." I love the heat coloring her cheeks pink as I play with her. "Any position you want to try, I'm game."

Her breathing changes, becomes labored. "No one can know," she says quickly and adamantly, like she'd given that a considerable amount of thought. "I mean, you get it, right?"

Oh yeah, I get it. She doesn't want anyone getting the wrong idea about her and Crater Skater—a guy women want for a good time and nothing more.

For a bucking good time…

Of course, I didn't think things would be any different with Brighton now that we've matured into adults. Only a fool would think that and she's likely still in love with her ex. Fine then, if sex is all she wants from me, then so be it. In fact, that's all I want from her too. Yeah, I'm not about to think this is something it's not. Hell, I haven't been anyone's fool in a long-ass time, or at least five minutes.