22. Brighton

It's been one full week since Noah walked away from me. One full week of me moping and crying and trying to wrap my brain around everything, including the loss of a mother I never knew, a mother who's love I desperately wanted. That was hard as hell on top of everything else. Sure, she left, but she was still my mother, and I wish I could say it never hurt, but it did. I have no idea why she left me an inheritance. Was it to make up for her wrongdoings or was there a part of her that still loved me? I can't help but hope it's the latter, but I guess I'll never know.

The second Noah walked away, Allan tried to get into my good graces, but good God, I was having none of that. Did he really think I would want him back? Cripes, the only reason he was sniffing around was because he got wind of the money, and while I'd learned what he was about when he left me, that doesn't mean this didn't hurt.

I walk around what used to be my wing of the house, lost and bereft. Noah and Camryn haven't been back and at first, I was sure he'd changed school districts. Until I hid outside the school one day to see Camryn's grandfather pick her up. Of course, that can't continue to happen. He can't be her full-time caregiver when Noah is away. Not with his wife's declining health.

I miss Camryn…I miss Noah.

Not only do I not have them, I have no one. All Noah's friends are his. Although I bonded quite well with a few of the women, I'm disappointed that I never heard from them. Then again, none of them knew the engagement was real, so how would they know there was a breakup that left me heartbroken? Melanie has been trying to get in touch with me, I've just not been in the mood to talk to anyone.

"Ugh," I groan out loud and catch a glimpse of myself as I walk by the living room mirror. My hair is a tumbled mess. Why bother brushing it? My face is pale and stark against the dark circles under my eyes. Sleep is a thing of the past, and I'm losing weight again. Food has no appeal. I've been slowly packing my things, and I'm surprised Noah hasn't had movers in already. Maybe he's waiting for me to be gone before he ever sets foot in the place again, but it kills me to break my promise to him—that I'd always be in Camryn's life.

Do I really think all of this was revenge?

God, I don't. I truly don't. Julie and Gemma got in my head, and in a moment of weakness, all my demons came back to haunt me. Then the news about my mother, Allan and Noah squaring off against one another, and I didn't know which way was up or down. I took the ring off because I was confused and insecure. Little did I know that Julie, Gemma and Allan would be feeding Noah lies…lies that could be easily believable under the circumstances.

It hurt me when Noah said we didn't know each other. It's not true. The man knows me better than I know myself, and vice versa. Dammit, we belong together.

What are you going to do about that, Brighton?

"Ugh," I moan again. What can I do about it. He walked out of my life. He believes I no longer needed him now that I landed a huge inheritance. It's crazy. When my mother left, it was the downfall of Dad and the decline of my early life. Then I'd found love, a small family to call my own. Until the inheritance landed in my lap. It was like the cherry on top of a tainted past—the collapse of my future. The nail in the coffin.

"Geez Mom, what did I ever do to you?"

My mind goes back to something Camryn once told me. "Sometimes when people love you, they still leave."

Did my mom still love me? Did she leave for reasons that had nothing to do with me? I always thought it was my fault. That I wasn't enough for her, and maybe that's why I tried so hard to be a good daughter, seeking Dad's approval. I didn't want him blaming me for Mom's abandonment.

What I didn't tell her is that people leave because they don't love you. Did Noah leave because he didn't love me? There's a part of my heart that doesn't believe that. Noah left because he thought I'd betrayed our trust. Is it possible my father betrayed my mother's trust? Not that I'll ever know, and I certainly have no way of finding out now.

While my parents' history is buried and behind us, mine and Noah's…well, it isn't in the past, and a few questions remain unanswered. Noah left, but does he still love me? Have my views on love and leaving been skewered? Do we still have a future?

Go find out, Brighton.

I go perfectly still and stop pacing as that idea pops into my brain. I stand in front of the mirror, staring at myself. Noah might not want to see me or talk to me, but I can't let that stand in my way. What can stand in my way is the fact that I don't know where he is. I guess the first logical place to check is his parents' house.

I'm about to move, force myself to go to my car even though I'm terrified he won't believe a word I have to say, when the doorbell rings. I gasp and take in my pale pallor. I can't answer the door looking like death, even if it is Noah. But if it is Noah, I need to see him right now.

I run to my door, fling it open and dart down the steps. I pull open the big front door, and air leaves my lungs when I see it's Melanie. "Oh."

"Nice to see you too," she responds.

"No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that."

"Since you've been ignoring me, I thought I'd just show up." She takes one look at me. "Even though you look like death, I'm not the grim reaper, so go get changed and comb your hair. You need to get out of the house. You're starting to mold."

She's probably not wrong. "It's not a good time."

She folds her arms. "It's non-negotiable."

"I was actually on my way out."

"Looking like that? I doubt it." I'm about to protest and she speaks. "Come with me. It won't take long, then I'll take you to wherever it is you need to go. You don't even look like you're in any shape to drive."

"I haven't been sleeping."

"I know," she murmurs, her voice full of sympathy. "You can nap in the car."

"Where are we going?"

"Out of the city."

I nod, thinking that might be a good idea. It will give me time to figure out what it is I want to say to Noah. I run upstairs, wash my face, comb my hair and pull on yoga pants, T-shirt and a sweater, noting that the weather is cooling. Ten minutes later, I'm sitting in the passenger seat of Melanie's car. She glances at me.

"Want to talk about it?"

"You mean the news isn't all over the resort?"

"No, it is," she answers honestly. "That doesn't mean you don't need to talk, though."

"Is it okay if I just rest my eyes?"

"Of course."

I close my eyes and feel the car sway. It lulls me to sleep and when I wake up, we're outside of the city. "Sorry about that."

"No need to be sorry. I'm glad you rested. I want your brain fresh for where we're going."

I have no idea where we're going or why my brain needs to be fresh, and I think I'm too distraught to ask. I simply stare at the trees and farms as we pass them, and recognize where we are. After a long moment, I begin, "I made a mistake. I said some things, and thought some things I shouldn't have said or thought, and when I opened my mouth, finally finding my voice, it was too late to fix anything." I catch her grin. Why the hell is she grinning. "Mel?"

"We all make mistakes, Brighton. The first step is owning up to them. Only then can we understand why we made them and find a way to correct them. It's then that you can take steps to move forward."

"You're going to be a great therapist someday."

"You mean I'm not already?"

"You are, but I'm not one of your clients."

"No," she says gently. "I'm your friend and friends help friends."

My stomach clenches. She was Noah's friend too. They really hit it off. "Have you been talking to Noah?" When she doesn't answer right away, I sit up a little straighter. "Mel?" I glance around and that's when I know exactly where we are. "Why are we here?" She pulls into the old farmhouse we spotted when we went to pick out Mabel. The For Sale sign is no longer on the lawn. My heart thuds. "Mel?"

"Yes, I've been talking to Noah," she answers gently. "He's here."

"Why is he here? Wait, is this where he moved? Does he know I'm here?"

She doesn't answer those questions, instead she gestures with a nod. "Go around back."

I jump from the passenger seat, my legs rubbery as I hurry toward the back of the house, not at all sure what I'm going to find. Noah, however, must be here, otherwise why would Mel bring me to the country? Will he greet me with open arms or animosity?

I guess I'm about to find out.

I round the corner and tears flood my eyes when I find the man I love pushing the young girl who stole a piece of my heart on an old swing set. They're laughing, like neither of them had their hearts torn from their chest. I should go. I turn, but Melanie is right behind me, preventing me from fleeing.

"Talk to him," she urges.

I swallow against the pain in my throat and turn, searching for the courage. "Noah," I finally say, my voice shaking as badly as my body. He turns his head just as Camryn stretches out her legs and swings back his way. Before I can warn him, Camryn's feet connect with…

I wince.

"Oh shit, that can't be good," Melanie snorts as Noah drops to the ground and begins writhing in pain. We hurry toward them, and Melanie slows Camryn's swing down as she joyfully squeals and calls out my name when she sees me.

"You're here, you're here. You're finally here, Ms. Brighton. Daddy said I had to be patient."

I only half register what she's saying as I bend to check on Noah. He mumbles curses under his breath as he cups his balls, and while it's not at all funny, I start to laugh, the tension from the last week needing an outlet.

"It's not funny," he groans.

"I know," I respond and pinch myself to keep it together.

"Daddy, are you okay?" Camryn asks as Melanie gets her off the swing.

"Peachy, Bean," he groans.

"Come on." Melanie holds a hand out to Camryn. "Why don't we go get your dad an ice pack." After they disappear into the house, Noah manages to push to his feet.

"Are you okay?" I ask, still wondering what the heck is going on.

Tenderness steals over him, and the warmth on his face curls around my shattered heart. "I am now." He lightly touches my face. "Now that you're here."

"Noah." My heart pounds in my ears. "What is all this?" I glance around the expanse of yard and spot sheep in the distance. Everything about the place reminds me of my happy days with my grandparents.

"I'm sorry," he begins, and a hiccupping sob catches in my throat as I miss those days. "I'm sorry for what I said, or for ever believing anything anyone ever said about you."

He's apologizing. God, I'm the one who should be begging for forgiveness. "Noah, I can understand?—"

"No, Sunshine." He stops me and puts his hands on my shoulders. "There's no excuse for my behavior and isn't it just like you, trying to make this apology easier on me. Don't. I don't deserve easy. I'm not even sure I deserve you…"

"You don't think you deserve me?" I stand a little taller as my heart flutters with hope. "Are you saying you still want me?"

He lets out a snort. "More than life, Sunshine. Actually, you are my life. You've given me and my life. We're nothing without you."

"Noah," I begin, tears falling hard. "Those things I accused you of. You're not that guy. I know that." I sniff and wipe my nose with the back of my hand, unlady like, I know. "It was my insecurities. I…I…"

"You expect the worst from people, and I'm sorry I gave you a reason to think the worst of me by believing the worst of you." He swallows, and the pain in his face cuts through me. "All along, I said we've moved past high school, yet I acted like an immature teen right back in the school hallway when Allan spewed lies and called me a loser. I shouldn't have punched him."

"No, you should have."

His head rears back. "What? You don't believe that. You dropped to the ground to help him."

"Is that what you think?" He angles his head confused. "I dropped to the ground to make sure you actually hit him hard enough to break his damn nose. He was lying and trespassing, and I have no idea how he got back into the house when I'd changed the locks. He had that coming."

He stares at me in complete confusion for a moment, and then a laugh bubbles out of his throat. "You're kidding me?"

"I would never kid about that." I grunt out a humorless laugh. "Is that awful of me? Maybe deep down I really am that cruel girl from high school."

"You're anything but cruel, Sunshine. You're kind and considerate, and loving and giving. You care more about others than you do yourself. I lied when I said we didn't know each other. I know you, and what I know, I like."

I glance down, ashamed. "But I never spoke up…"

He puts his thumb under my chin and raises my eyes to his. The warmth I find there pushes back the cold ache inside me. "You never spoke up in high school because you never knew your place in this world, never knew where you fit in. Believe it or not, I always knew you were a better person than those you hung out with. I never would have bought the resort to help you if I didn't believe that."

My chest constricts. "That's why you bought it." I'm not asking a question, but he answers anyway.

"Of course."

"I'm sorry I ever believed otherwise."

He brushes his thumb across my cheek. "I can see why you did. But the truth is, Brighton, you were a mess when I ran into you on the street, and I'm not talking about the ice cream. You looked like you were two seconds from breaking down and losing your shit, and while it was never my place to make decisions for you, I wanted to give you a fucking break. Because I don't think anyone else in your life has ever put your needs first."

I cry harder and he pulls me to him. With my face pressed against his chest, I mumble, "It was the break I never knew I needed. For the first time in my life, I had time to think about who I was, and what I wanted. I was so lost, Noah. My whole life I'd been vying for my father's attention. Needing to be important and maybe even fill the void of my mother."

"That was never your job." The warmth and understanding in his voice brings on more tears. No one has ever known me or understood me like this man.

"I know that now. But I lost years working day and night, trying to get his approval, but he was too lost in his own grief to even know I existed."

"He knew you existed. He loved you. Your mother loved you too."

"You don't know that."

"Oh, but I do." I inch back and find warm, compassionate eyes looking at me.

"Noah?"

"A while ago, I found something when I was in your father's office. It was tucked away, in the deep recesses of his desk and I was waiting for the right time to give it to you."

I swallow. "I thought that desk had been cleared out."

"Something was left behind and when I was in Canada last weekend, I found…" He pauses and takes my hand. "Come on, let me just show you." He starts toward the back of the house and I stand on the stoop and the back door creaks as he opens it and pulls something off the shelf. He hands it to me and I begin to bawl like a baby when I see it's a framed picture of my mother and me, shortly before she left. She's looking at me with love and hope, like I'm the light of her life—like I'm her sunshine. The frame says Mother and Daughter, the words connected with a heart.

"Noah." I ugly cry into his shirt.

"That's love on her face, Brighton. She loved you. Her leaving sucked and hurt, and was the worst thing to ever happen to a young girl, but she didn't leave because she didn't love you."

I cling to hope and say, "Maybe…maybe she left because she did love me."

"Yeah, maybe."

"I bought this place for us Brighton. The farm was your happy place when you were young. I want you happy again."

"I am happy, Noah."

"We can come here in the summers and on the weekends. It's a great place for Mabel to run don't you think?" My heart nearly overflows with love. "We'll keep our place at the resort. You'll want to be close to your work."

"My work?"

"You need to get back to work at some point. I had no plans to keep you from the manager's position forever."

"You're offering me the manager's position?"

"The resort is both of ours, you can have whatever position you want. Manager. Events coordinator. Front desk."

As he starts naming off other positions, I back up an inch. So much has happened since Noah bought the resort, and my priorities have since changed. I shake my head no.

"Brighton?"

"There's only one position I want and it seems like you're not offering it to me." He stares at me for a moment, and then a small smile touches his lips. He reaches into his back pocket, pulls out a velvet box and drops to one knee.

"Brighton, I made a mistake when I left last weekend. I'm never leaving you again. I love you. My daughter loves you. I'm not fully alive when I'm not with you. I want you to be my wife." He opens the box and holds the ring out. "Will you make me the happiest man in the world?"

I stare at the ring, and that's when I remember the look on his face when he asked me to be his girlfriend and I told him we were already engaged. In response, he told me to keep it a secret.

"The answer is no."

Hurt moves into his eyes, and air leaves his lungs like he's been kicked in the gonads one too many times today.

"I'm sorry for everything, Sunshine. I love?—"

"Last time you didn't even want to tell your friends. Are you even sure this is what you want?"

Without any kind of hesitation, he says, "Sunshine, it's everything I want. I didn't want to tell anyone because I didn't want that to be our engagement story. A rooftop proposal that wasn't really a proposal at all." He waves his hand around the lush backyard. "You deserved better. You deserve romance, a setting that included sheep in the background, and a ring that fits. I didn't want anyone to know until I had a chance to properly ask you and have this resized." He shows me the smaller ring.

I can barely see it through tears. "You had it resized?"

"Yes, and if you say yes, I want to scream it from the rooftops so everyone knows."

"Yes."

He slides the ring on and it fits perfectly. As I admire it, tears fall hard and he screams. "She said yes, and I'm going to marry the most amazing woman in the world."

The back door creaks open and I lift my head to see Camryn, with a grinning Melanie standing behind her.

"Daddy?" Camryn asks as he continues to crouch on one knee before me.

"Yeah, Bean?"

"Is everything okay?"

"Everything is perfect."

She blinks, her eyes filled with hope. "Does that mean I can call Ms. Brighton Mommy now?"

He nods. "It does."

She laughs and catapults herself at me, and I squat to pick her up. Noah stands, wraps his arms around both of us and swings us in a circle. I'm doing my best not to ugly cry my eyes out again as happiness fills my heart and when we finally stop spinning and he sets us down, Camryn puts one hand on her hip.

"Mommy," she yells, and my heart swells with all the love I have for my new family.

"Yeah, Jellybean."

"Tomorrow, can I have a lump in my pancakes?"

I exchange a curious look with my fiancé. "Why?"

"There's something I need to wish for."

Noah groans and I suspect he knows what she's about to say. I don't, so I ask, "What is it you want to wish for?"

"A brother or a sister."

I laugh, and so does Noah. I take her hand. "How about we go pick up Mabel and see how that goes first?"

"Yay," she screeches, because she's smart enough to know that answer means yes, she can have lumps in her pancakes tomorrow and I'm ready to expand this family and fill this beautiful farmhouse.

I meet Noah's smiling gaze. "Wife, mother, daughter-in-law, dog and sheep mom. Those are all the positions I'll ever need."

His grin is playful and mischievous when he whispers, "Well, there might be one I'd like to try later." He winks. "You might not need it, but I bet you'll like it."