Chapter 9

CHAPTER NINE

STEVE

S hit. Well, that could have gone better. I wasn't doing a good job proving my worth here if, on my first morning, Billie and Joey found me still asleep. I didn't want them to think we were lazy.

I shook Reykr awake and nearly got a face full of his fist as he woke up swinging. Reykr did not like waking up early.

"We need to go. Billie and Joey just stopped by on the way to the bar, and work starts this morning." I pulled my tunic on over my head.

"Already? The sun is barely up." He grimaced, stretching his arms over his head.

"Do you want to make a bad impression in Fyrifírar?"

"No, but I also don't want to be awake right now," he complained.

"Are you sure about staying here for the season?" I asked. "I won't be hurt if you decide to head back. We just agreed to a solid few months of hard labor."

"You know I don't like being stuck up at Snaerfírar. When I became a guard member, I thought I would see more action than the wayward bjorn that wandered into our territory. Plus, I'm not leaving you here alone."

"You know, at some point, you will have to give up trying to protect me."

Reykr had been my rock for the last ten árs, but I didn't want him to stay just because of me. I felt at ease in Fyrifírar and didn't need his protection.

"Já, I know," He said. "But it isn't now. Not while we're in an unfamiliar tribe and you are surrounded by the unknown." His tone was clipped.

With that, the conversation was done. I wasn't mad about Reykr staying, but I wanted him to stay because he wanted to, not because of any sense of obligation to me.

I attempted to change the conversation. "They told us to stop by the kitchens and get something to eat before heading to the bar. We can grab Berit and Tyr on the way."

It wasn't long before we stood in front of the dilapidated bar. The inside might be sparkling clean thanks to Billie's efforts, but a lot more work needed to be done on the exterior and the interior before the bar could be up and running. From the looks of it, the roof needed to be repaired—if not replaced. Several window panes were missing, and most of the furniture wasn't salvageable.

I wandered through the property, looking for Billie and Joey. The roof made the most sense to start with. Any repair that would make a mess would need to be cleaned before we worked on the inside. I didn't have a ton of woodworking experience. All of us were taught the basics as orklings, but only the carpenters knew the finer details.

I walked back out of the bar to find my tribemates had been joined by Billie, Joey, and an older orc I hadn't met yet. They were deep in conversation. Billie's eyes lit up when she saw me.

"Morning! Glad to see you put some clothes on," she teased.

I blushed. There was something about the way Billie spoke to me that made me feel warm and weird all at once. I tried to brush it off.

"Will you introduce me to…" I trailed off, gesturing vaguely at the orc that had joined us.

"I'm Osif, the head carpenter of Fyrifírar. I am helping Billie here with the bar. Now that we have more hands this should go much more quickly." He rubbed his hands together eagerly. "So how much do you know about repairing a roof?"

"Uhh.. Not much," I said honestly.

"That's okay," Billie said. "I don't know anything about roofs and Osif promised me we would be able to manage it."

I honestly wasn't super pleased with how close Billie seemed to be with Osif, but I reminded myself that he was at least thirty àrs her senior and likely had a mate.

"Well, it looks as if I am going to take the lead, and that is no problem," Osif said. "We need new materials for the roof and new panes for the windows. We are also going to need new furniture, but that is something I would rather take on by myself. So why don't the Snaerfírar come with me to get lumber while the women clear out the attic space?"

"Um, I can lift lumber!" Joey interjected. "I'll head with you to get lumber. Steve and Billie can start on the attic."

"Já, I can work on the attic with Billie, if you'd rather go get lumber," I said, trying to be as accommodating as possible. Maybe Joey just had a passion for lifting heavy objects

A look I didn't quite understand passed between Billie and Joey, but neither said a word. Joey headed off with the rest of my tribesmates and Osif, leaving me alone with Billie. I studied her uncertainly. Was she annoyed at being left alone with me? Her cheeks were tinged pink.

"I guess we should head up to the attic?" She glanced at me.

"Alright, we can grab the cleaning supplies on the way up."

We entered the bar and climbed up the stairs. They groaned and creaked underneath our weight. "These will need to be replaced, too," I commented.

"Yeah, or reinforced. Along with the railing. There is a lot of work to be done." She sighed.

"Hey, that's one of the reasons we agreed to stay. We want to help," I reassured her.

"I know. I want to ensure you know what you're getting yourself into," she said, looking around at all the repairs that needed to be done. The whole building looked as if it was sagging under the weight of dirt and grime.

"Já. None of us are master carpenters, but we've all come together to build new homes at Snaerfírar. We will be able to get it up and running. I can't wait to see you behind the bar pouring drinks."

Finally, we arrived in the attic. This wasn't a storage attic, as I expected, but the home of the previous bar owners. There was a large bed in the corner, a small kitchen, a dining table and chairs, and a door to what I assumed was a washroom. Even the fireplace was continued up into this space.

"Oh, this isn't an attic," I said in awe. "This is actually super cozy. And well-outfitted, despite the age."

"Yeah, I noticed when I first inspected it. It doesn't look like it has been touched since they passed. All of this furniture will likely have to go. That bed doesn't look salvageable. Not that I am particularly interested in sleeping in a dead person's bed." Billie made a face.

"How do you think we will fit everything down the stairs? They are pretty narrow," I said, walking around and looking at the furniture. "The chairs would likely fit, but the dining table and the bed would have to be taken apart."

Billie looked around at the furniture, hands on her hips, lips pursed.

"Well, we only really need to take the salvageable stuff down the stairs, so it doesn't get more damaged. What if we got rid of the rest of the stuff a much quicker way?" She gave me a mischievous look.

"Okay, and what would be a much quicker way?" I asked, wondering where this was leading.

"What if we just threw it out the window?" She gestured to the large window at the front of the attic.

"You can't be serious." I moved in front of one of the chairs as though it were at risk of imminent defenestration. "Th-that just isn't done."

Billie was unlike anyone I'd ever met. She was seriously suggesting throwing old furniture out a window. Who would think of that? I couldn't tell if I was terrified of her or enraptured by her.

"Why not? It's not like it will matter if it gets broken. This old stuff will probably end up being used for firewood."

"And what do you think Osif would say to this plan?"

"I happen to think he would say it was brilliant," she said, puffing out her chest and smiling.

"Well then, you're the boss." I bowed.

"Oooh, does that mean I can boss you around?" She teased, tossing her curly hair to one side.

"I am at your service." I smiled suggestively and then blushed at my forwardness. What has come over me?

"Oh, don't tell me that. I might abuse my powers."

"Why don't we start by emptying this attic? Then you can think of other ways to use me," I said.

"Oh, I can think of many ways to use you," she replied tartly.

I could feel the heat radiating off my face. I needed to change the subject, having realized how forward I was being. "Should I run downstairs to get an axe to chop up some of the larger items?"

She laughed at my clear discomfort. "That sounds like an excellent place to start."

When I returned with two axes, I was greeted by a vision of Billie levering all of her petite body against the window sill in a doomed but desperate effort to pry it open.

I placed the axes against the wall and rushed to help her. The window was probably stiff from having been shut for árs. Billie was pulling at it with all her might, but it refused to budge.

"Why don't you let me try?" I asked, startling her.

She let out a breath of exhaustion. "Yeah, I've given it all I've got, and it won't move."

I stepped forward and examined the window. It looked designed to open upwards, with a large lip along the bottom and a small latch. The window was still locked.

"Did you consider unlatching it before trying to yank it open?" I pointed at the latch.

Billie put her face in her hands, mumbling something.

"What was that? I couldn't quite hear you," I teased.

"No, I didn't see the damn latch," she muttered.

"Would you like to be the one to unlatch it, or shall I?"

"Oh, just get on with it and open the stupid window," she said, rolling her eyes.

I was discovering I liked embarrassed Billie. Embarrassed Billie was adorable—flustered and pink-cheeked. Was I… flirting? We took turns embarrassing each other. I put the thought out of my mind as I easily flipped the latch and opened the window. It was large enough to fit most of the furniture, but the dining table and the bed would have to be cut up.

"Alright, boss, what is salvageable, and what is being tossed out the window?" I asked. I was hesitant about the plan, but Billie was in charge.

Billie looked around at the furniture carefully, running her fingers across the dining table.

"You know what," she said suddenly, "I want it all gone. I want to start from scratch. I've never gotten to pick out my own furniture—it has always been hand-me-downs. With all the help I am being offered and the tribe's clear investment in reopening the bar, I think I should get new stuff, right? This stuff looks like it is at least fifty years old," she said, wincing. "Not like I'm ungrateful, but?—"

"I don't see why not." I kicked a chair leg, and it bowed. "We have Osif willing to teach us and plenty of eager novice woodworkers. A new set it is!"

With that, I swiftly picked up a dining room chair and easily chucked it out the window. Then we heard it crash to the ground outside the bar.

"Steve!" Billie gasped.

"What? You said all new things?"

"Yes! But you can't just throw a chair out a window without checking if—you know—there is someone on the ground below? What if you just knocked out Joey or Reykr?"

I blanched. Reykr would be fine if someone hit him with a chair, but Joey was tiny, even smaller than Billie. I rushed to the window and peered out. No one outside and nothing on the front lawn other than a very broken chair.

"We're safe," I said, breathing a sigh of relief.

"Okay, next time you throw something, at least check first?" She laughed.

"Yes, boss."

Billie grinned at me as she picked up another chair, looked out the window, then dropped it with a resounding crash.

"I think this is going to be kind of fun," she said, picking up another chair.

We spent the rest of the morning clearing out the attic, starting with the pieces that easily fit through the window. We chatted as we emptied the space. Billie was easy to talk to and was as curious about my life as I was about hers.

Hearing about her family made me feel more at ease speaking about my own truthfully.

"I was the youngest of three," Billie said. "But none of us were close. Our childhood wasn't the best. My parents were very religious and didn't really care about us as long as we did what we were told. I wasn't allowed to date. I wore a purity ring, and my virginity was my entire value. Whatever my dad said was law, whether or not he understood the consequences of it. The three of us scattered as soon as we hit eighteen," she explained.

There was a flatness to her voice, as if she was trying to hide a pain that wasn't fully healed. "Where did your sisters go?" I asked.

"They both fled as soon as they could. They distanced themselves from the family as much as possible. Because I was the youngest, it was harder for me to just run when I definitely should have," her breathing hitched.

"Eventually, even though I couldn't imagine leaving my parents, I had to. I needed a life of my own. I found a job and a roommate and moved out. I stayed local, but I was no longer under the thumb of my parents. I was free to figure out my future. I ended up working at a restaurant and was happy there, but I didn't have any long-term goals. That's what I am doing now that I am here. Making long-term goals. Billie, the bar owner." She grinned at me.

I reflected on her upbringing. Orkin were communal by nature. We ate together, often lived with our parents until we took mates, and rarely left our tribe of origin. All of this had always felt irksome, but I brushed it off. Now, it made me wonder if the human part of me wanted to make my own way—forge my own path. Whatever guilt Billie had felt about leaving her parents behind, she had clearly moved past it.

"How did your parents react to all of you leaving?" I asked.

"They were surprised, honestly. I think they thought that because they didn't hit us and they fed us, they were exemplary parents. But the reality is a lot more goes into parenting. They never really saw any of us. I think people of their generation had kids because that was the norm, not realizing how badly you can fuck up a kid. Now it is becoming more common to choose not to have kids."

"Are you angry at your parents?" I asked.

"No. Just sad. Sad for them because they don't understand why we don't have a relationship. Sad for me because if I ever do decide to have children, I don't have a model of what a parent should look like. I'll probably do the opposite of whatever my parents did. I wouldn't want my kids to meet my parents. I wouldn't want to expose them to their archaic way of thinking. Honestly, having parents that follow a religion that is thousands of years out of date sucks balls," she said, looking downcast.

"Hey, I don't think you need to have had great parents to be a great parent. Just recognizing what your parents lacked in raising you sets you up to be a much better mother someday," I responded, trying to comfort her. "I think of some of the things my parents did and how I would do them differently. I wouldn't have stayed holed up in the mountains, even if we did have an orkling. I would travel, show them different places on Niflheim, and go on adventures together. I know that is what Mom wanted deep down, but she was too scared to expose me to the unknown. And I don't think Dad ever wanted to leave."

"You'd want to take an orkling on adventures?" Billie asked, grinning.

"Yeah, maybe?" I shrugged, but was smiling. "I'd want them to see the ocean and meet the other tribes. Maybe we could explore the forest. Snaerfírar has hunter cabins that are nestled around the Fjall Mountains. We could explore and stay in the cabins." I thought wistfully about what it might be like to have a mate and an orkling that I got to raise with the freedoms I never had. I had never considered orklings before. It seemed out of the realm of possibility before Billie. But here she was, encouraging me to create a future I wanted.

"You have put a lot of thought into the life you want," she said, looking at me with what seemed to be admiration. What could I have said to make her admire me?

"Well, I had a lot of time stuck up in the mountains thinking," I said ruefully.

"Do you see yourself doing this traveling and adventuring with a certain someone?" she probed.

I felt myself blush. "There was no one in my tribe that I wanted as a mate. After a while, I stopped considering any of them. I knew if I was going to take a mate, I would have to find someone outside of Snaerfírar."

"So, is that what this mission is? A hunt for a mate?" she asked outright.

"It's been so long since I considered anyone. It hadn't really crossed my mind." I'd come to Fyrifírar looking for connection—and understanding. Not a mate.

"So focused on figuring out your future that you didn't picture a partner?"

I could tell she'd traveled this same path. "I guess, yeah."

"Well, maybe it is time to consider if you want one. Especially if you see orklings in your future."

"Do you want one?" I asked. "I mean, do you want a partner?"

Immediately, I wanted to hide under a large piece of furniture. How could I even ask that? But Billie didn't seem to mind.

She sighed, "That's… complicated. I always thought I did, but my relationships with men have been one dumpster fire after another."

"Dumpster fire?" I asked.

"Mmm… Shit show? Disaster. One disaster after another."

Well, now I had learned two more human terms: shit show and dumpster fire. I filed them away for later use.

"Why were these relationships dumpster fires ?" I asked, making her laugh.

"Well, I have a bad habit of jumping into things physically and then getting my heart all caught up in what the guy only saw me as a hook-up."

"Hook-up?" I asked.

"You know, casual sex, no strings attached."

I nodded like I understood, though I definitely didn't. I couldn't imagine being casually intimate with someone. Maybe it was my lack of experience, but the idea of sharing a bed with someone and then treating them like it wasn't a big deal made me feel ill. Billie must have seen the look on my face.

"Not something you'd be interested in?" She leaned forward.

She already knew that I lacked experience, so there wasn't much harm in sharing more. Plus, Billie didn't seem like she would judge anyone.

"Maybe it is because I haven't been in a romantic relationship, but I can't imagine doing intimate things with them and then pretending as if it hadn't happened. What is the point?"

"You don't ever want to have sex just to have sex?" she asked.

I just sat there blinking. I had no idea what the right answer to that was or if there was a right answer.

"Uhhh…"

"Okay, so maybe you and I are more alike than I thought." She chewed her lip thoughtfully. "We are just coming at it from opposite ends of the spectrum. Whenever I sleep with a guy, I find myself wanting more. I don't want to hook up with him and then continue about my life as if it didn't happen. I want to see if there is the possibility of a relationship, of a future. What it sounds like is that is what you want as well; you don't have the same kind of baggage I bring to the table."

Billie was using the term baggage in a way I was unfamiliar with, but I didn't see any of her past experiences as an issue—if anything, they'd helped her grow. "You say it like it's a negative thing," I ventured. "I think you've spent a lot of time figuring out what you want. In doing that, you've decided what you definitely don't want. That seems like time well spent."

"It does seem like time well spent. And it has given me plenty of opportunities to learn what I like and hone my skills," she said, licking her lips.

It took me a second to follow her meaning, "Billie! You can't say things like that to an inexperienced orc like me!" I put my hands in my face in mock embarrassment, trying to hide my laughter.

"Maybe that's my goal," she laughed, grabbing a small end table and chucking it out the window.