11. Carly

It had been a much longer day than I'd expected when I first got Ella ready to go to the park this morning. Now, after a day of fun and scares and ghosts of the past, we'd gotten a rare fast food dinner that I let Ella eat in the car, and we were finally home. My little girl was clearly exhausted, fighting sleep like kids often did, and I wasn't far from dozing off myself, either. The shock of seeing your baby's father for the first time since she was conceived could really take it out of a person.

I called out to my mom when we came into the house, Ella trying hard to stay awake even as she nodded off against my shoulder. She'd been clinging to me all day, and though she was too big to carry for long, I cherished every opportunity to snuggle her close to me, knowing those days were numbered.

"In the bedroom," Mom's voice found me. I groaned as I put Ella on the floor, careful not to put too much pressure on her ankle as I steadied her on her feet.

"Oof, you're getting too big for that," I told Ella, and she beamed at the idea of her getting older even though it hurt my heart a little. "Go brush your teeth, baby," I told my sweet girl then. "I'll come get you ready for bed in just a minute, okay? I'm gonna talk to Grammy."

Ella carefully plodded off toward the bathroom, and I slunk into Mom's bedroom and shut the door behind me.

She was organizing her clothes into piles, folding the ones she'd be keeping in the move with her signature care and flair. I felt a little stab of sadness, seeing her clearly getting ready to move out, but I shoved it away. There was something bigger on my mind, and I needed to talk to my mom.

"What's up, buttercup?" Mom asked cheerily, but her face sank when she saw my expression. "Is everything okay?"

I quickly filled her in on the scare with Ella's ankle today, making sure she knew everything was fine before she could start to panic. The Sanders women all came by that anxious trait honestly. Then, taking advantage of our first real, Ella-free moment alone together since she'd come home from vacation with a whole husband, I pivoted toward the real topic I wanted to discuss.

"I… I have to tell you something," I started carefully.

"Anything, hon," Mom said, following our usual script. Here goes nothing, I thought with a heavy dose of dread. Rip off the Band-Aid.

"I met Bennett today," I told her first, and as her face lit up with excitement, I dropped the bomb. "Well, I met him again. He's Ella's father, Mom."

Jodie Sanders was rarely speechless, but this revelation had her jaw dropping, her mouth hanging open in a way that could catch flies. I grimaced at her. "Yeah, that's about how I felt."

"Does he know?" Mom asked, and when I grimaced even harder, her eyes widened. "Oh, Carly."

"I think the thought crossed his mind when he recognized me and asked how old she is," I admitted. "But I got out of there as fast as I could after that." I shook my head, feeling a wave of guilt wash over me. "I… I couldn"t bring myself to tell him. Even if Ella and Nate weren't there at the time. Am I a coward?"

"Honey, no," Mom said emphatically, dropping the clothes she'd been folding and coming over to grip my hands in hers. I could feel myself working toward crying, but I resisted the threatening tears with everything in me. "It wasn't the right time. But you do know you have to tell him eventually, right?"

"I"m just… I"m afraid, Mom. What if he wants custody? What if I have to share her? Ella is mine."

Sometimes, she felt like the only thing that was truly mine in this world. Especially lately, as I'd been coping with the huge addition of a stepfather and three stepbrothers in my life. It was too much change, even for someone more amenable to change as a concept than I was.

Mom's expression filled with sympathy. "I understand, sweetheart. But eventually, you"re going to have to talk to Bennett about this. Especially if you think he already suspects. Do you want him to confront you about it first?"

I shook my head, knowing that she was right. But before I could say anything else, I had an important thought. "You can't tell him either. Or Dwight, even."

"Carly, he's my husband," she said in a whiny tone, as if that made this issue any more her story to tell. I narrowed my eyes at her, knowing it might be useless to even ask, since my mom was not one for keeping secrets. But with enough pushing, she sighed in resignation. "Fine! Fine, I understand. I won't say anything to Dwight. But if he asks me, I'm not sure I can lie to him."

"I wouldn't expect you to," I sighed. "Somehow, I doubt he's going to ask you whether his son is your granddaughter's biological father."

"He's very smart," Mom defended him, and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. It would be cute how utterly smitten she was if it weren't so annoying. With a kiss on her cheek and one frustrated huff of breath I couldn't hold back, I thanked Mom for her support before I left her to continue packing her things away for the big move.

With our conversation done, I made my way to Ella"s room to tuck her in for the night. I helped her get dressed in her kitten-print pajamas, watching with a rush of pure love as she sleepily rubbed her eyes and crawled under the covers. I made sure to click on her ladybug night light before I sat at the edge of Ella's bed, leaning in to kiss her forehead. She smiled at me gently.

"I had such a fun day, Mama," her sleepy voice managed to get out even as she stifled a yawn. "Nate is so fun. And I like Doctor Ben more than other doctors."

"You know, Ella," I whispered, brushing a stray hair away from her forehead. "I really like Nate and Bennett too. They"re pretty great, aren"t they?"

Ella nodded sleepily, a small smile playing at her lips. "Yeah, they"re nice. I think Nate and you should get married."

I let out a surprised laugh. "Oh?"

"Yeah. He's handsome, and he likes you, right?" Another yawn cut off her thought. "He could be my dad, if he wanted."

I wasn't sure how to handle that beyond laughing in disbelief. Had she picked up on the flirtation Nate and I had shared at the park, the almost-kiss moment? Surely not. My kid was a genius, but she couldn't be in two places at once, and that had happened—er, not happened—while she was falling off the jungle gym.

"Wouldn"t that be something?" I murmured.

"Doctor Ben could be my dad, too," Ella's dream-drifting voice said, and my heart skipped a beat. "Or maybe Logan?"

"Whoa, baby girl. Three dads seems like a lot." I laughed.

"People can have two dads," she countered, suddenly a little more awake. "Why not three? I think it would be fun. They all seem like dads."

I chuckled softly, feeling a sense of warmth and contentment wash over me as I tucked her in and turned off the big light. "Go to sleep, baby girl."

"Goodnight, Mama. I love you." Her voice melted my heart.

"I love you more," I said in response. As I left her room and closed the door behind me, the thought of Ella suddenly having a dad at all, much less more than one, lingered in my mind, sparking a maelstrom of conflicting emotions that I wasn"t quite ready to confront.