Chapter 20

Tonight isthe tree decorating event for work and I feel like shit. I fell for someone I knew I shouldn't have, who broke my heart and now I feel like a complete idiot. My fucking flaw wins again, giving men a chance when I should just keep that door closed.

I'm also dreading tonight because nobody else from Howards is interested in decorating the tree, leaving me to do it alone. But I committed the company to this and no matter how I feel, the family we adopted won't have Christmas without us, so it's time to pull myself up by the bootstraps and head out.

You know who always wore boots? Steel.

No! I need to stop going there. I ended things. Time to move on.

Blowing out a breath, I grab the gifts I wrapped earlier and make the first trip to my car to load them up. We don"t need them until Sunday, but I want them ready because I"ve planned a weekend of wallowing in self-pity with Draco, who has just returned home.

During the trips back and forth from the car, I"m overcome by a sudden chill, causing the hair on the back of my neck to stand on end. I toss the last of the packages in the car and spin around, looking for the cause.

No one.

"Steel! If you're watching me, go home. We're through," I call out into the winter air. He could be out there, or maybe it's my mind playing tricks on me. Either way, I'm going to stand my ground.

I hurry back into the house to grab the tote of lights and decorations for the tree. As I"m running out the door, I hook it with my foot to close it behind me. Setting the tote down, I lock it quickly and head to the car.

After placing the tote on the passenger seat, I lock the doors and look around. I can't shake that unsettling feeling, but I still don't see anyone.

Stop being crazy, Iggie. No one is watching you.

Shaking my head, I turn the key in the ignition and my car starts. I give it a minute to warm up a little, blowing into my hands. My fingers are like ice. I need to get going if I don"t want to be late. Switching the gear into drive, I pull out of my driveway, heading toward the community center.

Trying to calm my nerves, I hit play on my Pentatonix Christmas Album and let the festive music fill the car. The familiar tune of "Little Drummer Boy" fills the air, and I can"t resist turning up the volume and belting out the lyrics.

When I pull into the community center"s parking lot, it"s packed with cars. After driving around for a moment, I find a parking spot near the front. I grab the tote from beside me and get out, walking toward the door. The jingle of ornaments ringing out with every step.

There's a table with two elderly ladies seated, busily taking notes on their clipboards right inside. "Name?" the one on the right asks as I walk up, her glasses perched low on her nose.

"Ignatius Harper for Howards," I tell her with a smile.

"Sign here just saying you showed up and decorated the tree. This is your packet with the address for delivery on Sunday and the family's info if you haven't done the shopping yet. Your tree is number seventeen. Take this door here and keep going until you're in the gym. You'll be in the first row of trees. Should have a notecard pinned to it with the number."

Juggling the tote on my hip, I extend my hand to take the packet from her. "Thank you."

The moment I lean down to sign the paper, the tote slips. A surge of panic hits and my heart about jumps out of my chest. I have decorations inside of it that can break. But it never hits the floor, snatched in mid-air by a pair of hands with perfectly manicured, black-painted nails.

I quickly finish signing my name, then turn my attention to a pair of familiar, dark brown eyes. "What are you doing here?" I ask, my skin tingling as I look around for him, but he's nowhere to be seen.

"Prez asked us to come and help since he couldn't make it. He didn't want you to do it alone, so here we are." Kiki shrugs with a huge smile on her face.

"We?" My brows shoot up. I wasn't expecting anyone to show up. I look up and Pistol is behind her, arms crossed and eyes hard as he scans the room. I somehow missed him standing there.

"Hi, I'm Marni. We met on the phone the other day with Mister Cranky Pants. I'm staying at the clubhouse for a bit. Freaking excited to help other people at this time of year." A young blonde with the lightest blue eyes holds a hand out. I didn't see her behind Pistol, she's so small.

"Nice to meet you, Marni. I'm Iggie. Thanks for coming to help. We're tree seventeen." I grab the tote from Kiki and head in the direction the lady said.

I don't even know how to process what is happening. Steel respected my wishes and didn't show up tonight. However, he knew I would be here alone, so he asked some of his friends to help. I know they're not friends in his eyes. Pistol's a brother, Kiki is a whore, and I don't know what Marni is, but in my eyes, they're his friends.

Although we're over, my heart still swoons at the thought he put into tonight. This is the Steel I fell for, not the one I saw in those Orders of Protection.

No! You're not doing this. It's done.

We get to the tree and I set the tote down. "I'm going to let you three handle the decoratin' and I'll keep an eye out. No leavin' unless I know, Little Girl." Pistol narrows his eyes at Marni.

Keeping an eye out for what or who?

"Sir. Yes. Sir." She salutes and I chuckle.

"Let's get the lights on. While we do that, you can tell me how you ended up in Steel's truck that day and why you're staying at the clubhouse. You can't be more than what, sixteen?"

"Seventeen. Eighteen in under two weeks." She takes the strand of lights and begins to wrap it around the tree. "I was waitressing and my boss was trying to hurt your man and his men. I helped them out and in return, he helped me out of my abusive foster home. But my boss has to know I left with them, so they're being careful in case he's looking for me."

I look at Kiki, who is opening the star for the top of the tree, and she shrugs.

"So, I'm gonna stay at the clubhouse ‘til my birthday and then I'm a legal adult so I can do what I want. Steel said he'd help me with whatever I decide." She smiles as she finishes that strand and connects another one.

"But do you have to—" She doesn't let me finish.

"Oh no. No offense to my girl, Kiki, ‘cause I love her and she's been good to me, but I couldn't do what she does. Not after what I've been through."

"Thanks, babe. I kinda like you too, Little Gremlin." Kiki laughs.

The night continues, with us chatting endlessly about music, shopping, and books. I like Marni. She's a sweet girl, and I'm glad Steel got her out of her situation. I also find myself feeling grateful that she helped him not get hurt by someone else.

Did I really give Steel a fair shot?

I shouldn"t care what happens to him, yet a sense of concern tugs at my heart. He hurt me by lying. Not saying anything is lying by omission and no one will change my mind.

We put the last of the multicolored balls on the tree along with the few boxes of Disney character ornaments I could find, and now it's time for the star. The girls aren't tall enough and before I can volunteer, Marni is bounding over to Pistol.

"Pistol, can you put the star on for us? Please?" She pouts her bottom lip and his eyes widen as she stares at him.

"Oh, for fuck's sake," he murmurs, taking the star from her and putting it on the tree with ease.

When he lifts his arm, both girls snicker as they catch a glimpse of his chiseled abs and the ink on his skin. I can"t help but shake my head and roll my eyes at their slyness.

"Is that it?" He looks at me when he"s done

"Yeah. Thank you so much for helping me. It means a lot."

"Don't thank us. Thank Steel. He asked us to come, so you didn't have to do it alone and because he's a good guy, we came," Pistol drawls.

"Pistol, I'm sor?—"

"Nope, I don't want to hear you're sorry. I've known that man my whole life and while he's done some fucked up shit and made mistakes when he was younger, he was different with you. You have to figure it out on your own, Iggie. Now come on, girls, we need to get back. Marni's been out long enough."

Marni rolls her eyes and steps over to me, wrapping her arms around my waist in a tight hug. "Thanks for letting me help, Iggie. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Marni. Hey, if you're looking for work after you're eighteen, I could get you a job as a cashier at Howards."

"Thank you!" she exclaims and skips toward Pistol, who looks annoyed with her antics.

"He's right, you know?" Kiki says as she knocks her shoulder against mine. "Prez is a good guy and you can't base your decisions on things he did in the past. I don't know the details and I don't need to. But if I meet someone and fall in love, I hope they don't cast me aside when they find out what I did with the club. You can't make unbiased decisions if you don't hear his side of things."

"Thanks, Kiki," I whisper.

"Anytime, babe." She hugs me and hurries to catch up to Pistol and Marni.

I grab my tote, head out to my car and get in, hurrying to turn it on so I can crank the heat. When I back out of my parking spot and pull onto the road, I don't play music like I normally do. Instead, I find myself replaying Kiki"s words over and over again.

Was it fair to judge Steel based solely on the papers, without taking the time to hear his side? I didn't give him a chance to explain or make excuses. Panic washed over me as I took in the papers and pictures, leading me to quickly call off everything.

Did I make a mistake?