11. Peyton

PEYTON

B rodie held the passenger door open for her, and she breathed in his scent. He didn't wear much cologne, if that's what it was. He smelled good, like the salty air and the pines that grew in this area.

"I wish we didn't have to leave yet," Brodie murmured, leaning closer to her.

If she turned her head, she'd be close enough to kiss him. Instead, she bent down and got into the car.

Peyton looked out at the sea, thinking about how different she felt with Brodie than she had with either Lang or Kade. It had taken months before she went out with either of them. With Lang, she thought he flirted with everyone—she didn't believe he was interested in her.

Kade was her friend a long time before he became her lover, and it was longer still before she introduced him to her boys. If he hadn't sent her the email, asking her out, she never would've realized he wanted more than a friendship.

With Brodie, his interest was apparent. There was no pretense. When she and Alex had talked about Brodie being a player, she mentally compared him to her ex-husband. If she hadn't held out on Lang so long, she doubted he would've asked her to marry him. When he did and she hesitated, he'd pressured her. Even then, she felt as though she was Lang's conquest more than a woman he was in love with.

The other day, Brodie had mentioned something about how she would've gotten to know his family better after she and Kade were married. They weren't together long enough for either of them to consider marriage.

With Lang and Kade, she'd been cautious. In hindsight, she must've sensed one or both of them would break her heart. With Lang it was intentional, with Kade it wasn't.

She often wondered, if she had to do it over again, would she let herself fall in love with him?

"You're quiet, Ms. Wolf. Which reminds me, do you go by Wolf or Becker?"

"I go by Wolf-Becker officially, although I only keep Lang's name for the boys' sake, since they're Beckers."

She studied him for a while, wondering how he felt about kids. "I thought about asking him to give up his parental rights, since he hasn't seen the boys in years and has no desire to. If he did, I could legally change their last name to Wolf, but now that Jamison is ten, I think it's too late."

He didn't respond, but his jaw was tight and his hands gripped the steering wheel harder than necessary.

"Brodie?"

"I've never met Lang, and I don't want to. I don't understand how a man can leave his kids."

"He told me he realized he'd never wanted children. He was a big kid himself, and I should've recognized it before I married him. I see that now, and I blame myself as much as I blame him."

"That's not right, Peyton. He made the choice to become a father—you have no blame in this."

"I'm sorry, Brodie. It's a tough subject. It was for Kade, too."

"Was he going to adopt them?"

"Kade? No. We never discussed it." Peyton looked out at the sea. "We weren't as close as you think we were. I loved him and considered a future with him, but I had doubts. Mainly about what he did."

"Did he tell you he planned to retire?"

"Not specifically. I knew he would eventually, given his age."

Brodie rolled his shoulders. "I don't know what I should or shouldn't say."

"What do you mean?" Peyton asked.

"About Kade, what he was thinking."

"What was he thinking, Brodie?"

"I knew what his plans were, so did the rest of our family. Before he left, he told us it would be his last mission. That he was retiring."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely. He asked our mother to start planning the ceremony."

Peyton closed her eyes and leaned against the headrest.

Brodie pulled the car over and took her hand in his. "Peyton, I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I'm…I don't know what to say other than I realize how hard this is, for both of us. I think it would be best if we didn't?—"

He took his hand off the steering wheel, leaned over, and gripped her nape. "Don't say it, Peyton. Don't say it would be best if we didn't see each other. Please."

Without waiting for her to answer, Brodie covered her lips with his and tangled his fingers in her hair.

At first, she resisted, but then relaxed into their kiss.

Her hand came up and rested on his chest, and her lips opened to his. When his tongue explored her mouth, battling with hers, her breath quickened. He pressed harder, then slowed and softened, nipping at her lower lip and kissing across the side of her face and down her neck. When he reached a sensitive spot, her hand grasped the front of his shirt.

"Brodie," she groaned. "Stop."

He did and looked into her eyes. "Stop? Am I wrong about this?"

"The question should be, is this wrong?"

"No, Peyton, it isn't. I don't understand your relationship with my brother, and honestly, I don't want to. I'm angry because I can't understand why he didn't tell you the things he told us." Brodie took a deep breath. "Peyton, please look at me."

She opened her eyes and gazed into his.

"What I feel for you has nothing to do with Kade. Am I wrong? Tell me. Can you say you aren't feeling the same way I am?"

"No," she whispered. "I can't, but, Brodie…"

"But what, Peyton?"

"We need to slow down. My boys…"

"I get it, but that doesn't mean I can stop thinking about you. I can't sleep. I walk around outside in the middle of the night, asking the sky what the hell I should do. I've never felt this way, and I don't know how to handle it."

Peyton pulled her phone out of her pocket to check the time. "I'm sorry, Brodie, but we have to go. I have to pick up the boys."

After Peyton brought them home and helped with their homework, she called Alex.

"Hey, girlfriend. What's up?"

"Are you busy?"

Alex gasped. "Peyton, what's wrong? You sound like you're crying."

"Where are you?"

"Home."

"Can you come over?"

"I'll be there in ten. Is there anything you want me to bring?"

"No." Peyton hiccuped through her tears.

"Shit. What happened?"

"Brodie."

"That sonuvabitch . I'll be right there."

"What did he do?" Alex asked when Peyton answered the door.

"It's more about Kade than Brodie. I don't know where to start." Peyton took a tissue out of the box she had tucked up against her and blew her nose.

Alex swept past her into the kitchen and opened the bottle of wine she'd brought in with her, pulled two glasses out of the cupboard, and filled them halfway. She sat next to Peyton on the sofa and handed her a drink.

"You said this is more about Kade than Brodie."

Peyton took a deep breath and wiped her remaining tears away. "There's so much he didn't tell me. I feel like I never really knew him. And Brodie? He's pissed, and we kissed, and I don't know what to do."

"Let's break this down into sections, okay, sweetie?" Alex suggested.

"Okay."

"First, you say you feel as though you didn't know Kade at all. Why?"

"Brodie said there were things Kade told them that he never told me," Peyton admitted.

"Like what?"

"That he was retiring."

"He didn't mention it?" Alex asked.

"I had no idea."

"Okay, let's set that aside for a minute. What else? You kissed?"

Peyton sighed. "He kissed me, but I didn't resist."

"Okay. What else?"

Her eyes opened wide. "Isn't that enough?"

"I'm trying to figure out why you're reacting the way you are. What happened after you left Stave?"

"We went to the lighthouse, and I drove his car."

"What else?"

Was there an edge to Alex's voice or was Peyton imagining it? "He asked me about Lang, then said Kade planned to retire. That his last mission was supposed to be…his…last…mission."

Alex cocked her head. "What does Lang have to do with this, sweetheart?"

"He asked if Kade was going to adopt the boys."

"Then what happened?"

"I told him we weren't as serious as he thought, and he seemed angry."

"At who? You?"

Peyton shook her head. "No. At Kade. By that time, we'd returned to Stave and I had to pick up Jamison and Finn."

"How did you end things?"

"He's going to call me later, after the boys are in bed."

Alex tapped her fingers on the edge of the sofa. "Can I tell you something?"

"Of course."

"But you have to promise me something."

"What?"

"You won't get mad at me."

"I won't."

Alex stood and paced in front of the sofa.

"What?" Peyton prodded.

"I'm trying to decide whether to tell you or not."

"Hang on. I need more wine and to use the bathroom."

"Of course. Take your time."

When she returned to the living room, Alex lowered her cell from her ear.

"All right. Go ahead."

"If you'd told me you and Kade planned to marry, I would've done everything in my power to talk you out of it."

"Why?" Peyton was stunned.

"Because he wasn't the man you thought he was."