7. Peyton

PEYTON

P eyton felt heat spread from her neck up to her cheeks. Even her forehead felt as though it was on fire. Brodie hadn't meant it the way she heard it, of course, but damn, she couldn't get the image of him driving her all day and night.

"Did I say something wrong?" he asked.

"Not at all. It's too warm in here. You ready to go?" That was a lie. The heat she felt had nothing to do with the temperature in the restaurant. In fact, earlier she'd felt chilly.

"Sure, yeah. I'll take care of the check, and we can be on our way."

"That would be a good idea, wouldn't it?" She laughed. God, she'd completely forgotten about paying. Where was her mind? Easy answer—her mind was on Brodie Butler, and as hard as she tried, she couldn't think about anything other than how good it felt to be with him.

"Where to, pretty lady?" Brodie asked when they left Big Sky.

"We could walk around town since we aren't in a hurry to get anywhere." She missed being downtown, and all the cute shops she used to visit when she was in college.

Thursdays were the best. That's when the streets turned into a giant farmers' market. It wasn't limited to farm stands. There were also booths offering ethnic foods, others sold clothing, and musicians busked on every corner. She couldn't remember the last time she came down for it. The boys would love it.

"You're quiet, but it looks like whatever you're thinking about is something that makes you happy."

"You know what? You're right. I was thinking I should bring the boys down on Thursday, for the farmers' market. Have you been? It feels more like a street festival."

"I haven't been in years, but I'd love to join you if you wouldn't mind me tagging along."

Oh. Her boys. And Brodie. That wouldn't work. Finn had already asked about him spending time with them.

"Hey, you know? Now that I think about it, I wouldn't be able to join you this Thursday. Maybe another time though."

"I'm sorry, Brodie. The boys?—"

He held up his hand, so she stopped talking. She felt horrible, though. He'd been nothing but nice to her. He'd immediately picked up on her discomfort and let her off the hook.

"I know we finished eating a few minutes ago, but damn, something smells good."

"That's Mama's Meatballs. You can smell their garlic knots from miles around, or at least it seems that way." Once again, being here today reminded Peyton how much she missed it. San Luis Obispo was only a half hour from her place in Cambria. She had no good reason for never coming down here, other than she didn't think about it.

"So…maybe…you and I could…" he began.

"What?"

"Sorry, I'm screwing this up."

Peyton didn't need to ask what he meant. She was enjoying her time with him so much that she didn't want it to end. And when it did, she'd want to know when she could see him again. Wanting it was totally unfair of her, though, given she'd just cited her boys when he suggested visiting the farmers' market with them.

"Brodie?"

"I'd really like to have dinner there sometime."

"You should. It's amazing and reasonably priced too."

"Peyton…I…uh. This is so awkward."

She sighed. "I know."

They were quiet on the walk to the car. When they got close, Peyton wondered if he'd still care to go for a drive or if he'd want to return to Cambria.

"Ever been on See Canyon Road?" she asked, not wanting to give him the chance to bring their day to an end.

"Not in years. You sure you want to take this baby on a dirt road?"

"Why have an all-wheel-drive car if you never take advantage of it?"

When he studied her, she wondered if she was imagining that the heat in his eyes matched her own.

"Beautiful and badass," he said almost too quietly for her to hear before adding, "Which way should we go?"

"It's only worth it if you drive south to north. Otherwise, the views are all behind you."

"You wanna take the wheel?"

"You've got this." She smiled.

Brodie drove through town, to the highway.

"Can we go one more exit?" Peyton asked when they reached San Luis Bay Drive, the turnoff for See Canyon Road. "It's been so long since I've been to Avila Beach, and it'll only take us a couple of miles out of the way."

"I can't remember the last time I was there. I used to stand on the pier while my dad tossed crab nets in the water, imagining I'd live in the Point San Luis Lighthouse one day."

"Really? Wow! Were the nets for Dungeness?"

"They were, and the seafood feasts we'd have at my grandparents' beach house were epic."

They drove through the lush oak valley where most of the spas featuring natural mineral hot springs had been built. When they arrived on Front Street, he parked her car near the pier.

"Every time I visit, it seems like there's another fancy hotel or restaurant hogging more of the bay's already small shoreline."

She felt the same way. In fact, she expected the pier was already overtaken by tourist traps like so many along the Central Coast had been. "Did you spend much time here, growing up?"

Brodie smiled. "We were in Oceano most of the summer. Gramps called their place the Slough House because it sat beside one. When we visited Scotland when I was a boy, I realized the house was almost an exact replica of any you'd find in the fishing villages on the Isle of Barro."

"What happened to it?"

"Years ago, someone who bought it and the one next door demolished both and built one massive house in place of the two."

"Such a shame."

"Have you heard these stories before? I don't wanna bore you."

She shook her head. "I haven't, but I want to."

"We'd arrive from the hot valley on Friday night, and the next morning, two of us boys would go to Pismo Beach with my grandfather. We'd dig for those huge Pismo clams you can't find anymore. The other two boys would come here with our dad. He'd toss the nets, and then we'd drive north to a place so secret, I've never been able to find my way there again." Brodie glanced over at her.

"Go on. This is fascinating." She smiled and he shook his head.

"You're so damn pretty. I'm having trouble remembering the rest."

She rolled her eyes. " Right . Get on with it, Brodie."

"When we were little, Dad would take a crowbar down to the rocks and pry off abalone. Can't find that anymore either."

"Mmm, I miss abalone." Peyton closed her eyes and put her hand on her stomach. "Sometimes they have it at the Sea Chest."

"One of my favorite restaurants."

"Mine, too. Sorry to interrupt you, Brodie. This is a great story. Keep going."

"After the abalone harvest, we'd return to the pier and raise the crab nets. If we were lucky, they'd be filled with Dungeness."

She chuckled. "You're making me hungry again but keep talking."

"We'd haul our take to the house where Gramps, Dad, and all us boys prepared dinner."

"What did your mom and sisters do?"

"Relaxed, which they never got to do at home. Especially my ma. My grandmother loved to talk to her about Scotland. Ma's from a village close to where Grandma Analise was born. The two would talk ‘home' all weekend long, and then the next time we visited, reminisce about the same stuff all over again. Which is why I asked if you'd heard these stories before. I got so I would tune them out."

"I haven't, and I'm loving them."

"There was a huge tree stump in the yard, where Gramps would take a rubber mallet to the abalone. While he did that, we'd clean the clams and separate them. Some were used for chowder, and the others, we would fry.

"While this was going on, there'd be a big pot of water heating on the grill Gramps built in the yard. It was made of stone, and a giant grate sat on top of it. Have you ever had fresh-caught lobster cooked outside over an oak-wood fire? The best lobster I've had in my life."

She shook her head. "No, but I love oak-grilled artichokes."

"Right? Me too."

"I love seafood, no matter how it's prepared."

"I remember hanging out with my friends after being with my grandparents for the weekend, and telling them about our feasts. So many of them turned up their noses. I didn't get it. Who doesn't like clams, crab, and abalone?"

"I could eat fish and other seafood every day of the week. We already know I eat crab cakes for breakfast."

"How about your boys? Do they like it?" he asked.

"Worst mistake I ever made was introducing my two eating machines to sushi. They can go through a hundred bucks of raw fish faster than my car goes from zero to sixty."

"I'm the same way. My ma isn't a big fan, but my brothers, sisters, dad, and I can power through a hundred bucks worth each. It's different now than it was when you could spend a morning going out and finding it for free."

"Don't I know it."

"It was a great childhood. I'm surprised Kade never told you about it."

The whole time Brodie talked, she also wondered why he hadn't. "Kade wasn't big on reminiscing. Maybe he got as tired of hearing the stories as you did."

"I guess I should be grateful. If he had told you, you might've stopped me on my stroll down memory lane."

"Somehow, I doubt Kade would've been as animated as you've been. It was fun hearing about it."

"Ready to roll?" he asked, looking at his watch.

Given it was shortly after two and it would take them at least an hour to get over the pass and through See Canyon, they should be on their way. "Sure. Know where you're going?"

Brodie smiled. "Like the back of my hand."

"Did you know Alex's family was one of the first to settle here?"

He shook his head. "I've always wondered if their name was a coincidence."

"They take native Californian to a whole other level."

When they reached the See Canyon turn-off, Peyton hit the audio button on the sound system.

"Who's this?" Brodie asked.

"A guy who lives not too far from here, in Ojai. I've been a fan for years. The first time I went on this drive was the first time I heard his music. It's been the soundtrack since. I thought I'd put an Amos Lee CD in, but I ended up liking this better."

"Does he still perform?"

"Yeah, usually down in Ventura, though."

"Not that far. Maybe we could drive down and see him sometime."

Peyton's chest tightened.

"Sorry, forget I said that."

"It's okay, Brodie. It feels…"

"Awkward. So anyway, what's his name?"

"This guy? Syd."

"He's good."

"The music fits, doesn't it?"

"Yep. It's perfect. When I get home, I'll see if I can download some of his stuff."

The beginning of the thirteen-mile drive was deceiving, with the thick canopy of oak trees lining the paved road scattered with apple orchards and vineyards. Five miles in, the trees opened up and the winding, paved road turned to dirt.

"I can't believe how few people know about this drive," Peyton commented when the only car they'd seen since they began the drive passed, going in the opposite direction.

"You'd think, by now, it would be on every map handed out to tourists."

She rolled down her window and breathed in. "Can't see it yet, but there's no mistaking how close to the ocean we are."

The road meandered through the rolling, golden hills of the coastal mountains, still miraculously untamed by developers. The blue sky was free of clouds, so the vistas from the summit extended from the miles and miles of unspoiled oceanfront to the west all the way beyond the hills of Paso Robles to the east. When they were at the very top of the narrow strip of road, Brodie pulled off.

"Everything okay?" Peyton asked.

"There's something I need to talk to you about."

Like before, her chest tightened. "Did you bring me all the way out here so I didn't have a choice?"

"This drive was your idea, pretty lady." He smiled.

"Right. It was. The words ‘something I have to talk to you about' fill me with dread, though." What would Brodie say? Whatever it was, she knew instinctively she didn't want to hear.

"The box."

"Right, the box." The one she didn't want, filled with things that would bring her pain she didn't want to feel anymore. "Brodie, I?—"

"This is the last time I'm going to bring it up. If you don't want it, I'll take it home and stash it away. If there ever comes a time you change your mind, all you have to do is ask me for it."

Rather than answer, Peyton opened the door and got out. She stood with her hands in her pockets, looking at the view of Morro Rock.

Kade would've done the same thing Brodie was doing. He'd always been so easy on her, but he'd known what he was doing. The easier he was on her, the more she wanted to prove she could handle whatever he was shielding her from.

Brodie got out of the car and stood next to her.

"You remind me so much of him."

"Thank you. That's high praise. Lots of guys want to be like their older brother, but for me, that means something."

"I dream about him all the time, that it was a mistake. I dream I'm somewhere in town and I see him. That's why I was so freaked out at Louie's yesterday morning. I saw you walk in, and from the back, you look like him."

"I'm sorry, Peyton."

She didn't want to cry, but she couldn't stop herself. "In a way, being with you is like being with him. But it's different, too." She returned to the car and opened the passenger door. "Do you mind if we keep going?"

"Of course not." Brodie got in and started the engine. "I'm struggling, Peyton. As much as I don't want to admit it, I find myself wishing you never knew my brother, that you're a woman I met on my own, who I'm attracted to. I want to go to the farmers' market with you and your boys, and take you to Mama's Meatballs for dinner, and go see the guy whose music we're listening to."

Peyton rubbed her chest. He was honest with her. Could she show him the same courtesy?