9. Blake

BLAKE

I head to the back room where the meetings take place, leaving Marie upstairs. I can't wait to get in that ass tonight. I'll get her off first. At least once. I smile and lick my lower lip. I can still taste her on my tongue. Fucking delicious. She'll be fine while I talk to Pinch. She's safe here. And she fits right in.

Damn, I wish I'd just asked her if she wanted me to walk her home, so we could've started this off without any lying. But then again, I never would've let them think she was my girl. No way in hell I'd ever have brought her in here. My smile vanishes. She's only safe while I'm safe. Shit, things are a little more fucked than I'd like them to be at this point. But I'll be damned if I'm not keeping her. I want her more than anything. Every protective instinct in me is on high alert. I don't know what it is about her, but my body is begging me to claim her. And I'm hard-pressed not to listen.

I barge into the meeting room without knocking. No need to, since I knew they'd be in here waiting for me. And now that I'm back here, I'm all pissed off again. That fucker messed with my hellcat. I meet Maddox with a hard glare.

"Calm down, Blake." He stares me down as I lean against the desk. "You can't go shooting her ex-boyfriend. He's a cop."

"I'm not going to shoot him." Not to kill, anyway. Pinch closes the door so it's just the three of us.

"Blake," he starts as though he's warning me, asking me to back off, but he won't make me. Maddox will let me have this if I want it. And God, do I want it. No one's going to hurt my hellcat and get away with it.

"You telling me you're not just as pissed as I am that her ex got away with … " I can't finish. Fuck! I don't even know what the hell he did exactly, but I'm going to find out. I'm going to find out tonight. After I get her under me.

"Already a step ahead of you," Pinch chimes in and holds up her ID. He goes over to the computer and starts plugging in her info.

"You swiped her ID?" Pinch never fails to surprise me. A pickpocket and hacker, he's a thief in every sense of the word.

He turns in his chair and looks back at me like he doesn't see a problem with it. "Well, yeah. It's not like you'd know her last name." No I don't, but he didn't know that. I glare at him and he shakes his head. "Okay then, what's her last name?" Fucking asshole.

I let out a small growl and say, "Just do what you have to do."

"So, how are you planning to handle this?" Maddox's starting in on me again.

"You remember that prick who hit your sister?" I stare straight back at him, meeting his hard glower. "You didn't have a problem knocking his teeth in."

"He wasn't a cop."

"Since when does that matter?" I shouldn't be talking back, but I'm furious. I'm so fucking pissed that someone put their hands on Marie. And even angrier that no one helped her. No one was there for her. But I'm here now.

An uncomfortable moment passes before he lets out a loud exhale. "You want help?" he asks like I'm a huge pain in his ass. I pat him on the back in thanks, but shake my head.

"Naw, just get me his address."

"Got it. You're gonna want to give his name to Linc though, so he can ask his contacts at the PD for his schedule." I nod my head calmly, but my gut churns at his words. When I first found out they were paying people off at the PD, I freaked the fuck out. Roger told me he knew all of Linc's contacts and I was safe. I can't fucking take doing this anymore. I could be their contact. But it's too late for that now. I fucking wish it wasn't. They're the only family I have. Pinch prints something off and then hands me a piece of paper with the prick's information.

"Don't worry," I say and look at Maddox, "I'll be discreet." I turn to leave them while folding the paper, but Maddox's hand comes down hard on my shoulder. I look back, waiting for him to say something, but he just stares at me.

"Yeah?" The question leaves my mouth after a moment of silence.

He's holding something back, so I turn to fully face him. "What's on your mind, brother?" Something's wrong and I don't fucking like it. I glance at Pinch. He's grinning like he always does. My gaze falls back on Maddox. His jaw's tense; he's working too hard not to say whatever's on his mind. "Just let it out."

He hesitates before asking, "Were you two really just playing around?"

My blood runs cold at the question. I square my shoulders as I feel something shift between us. I stare back at him and keep eye contact while I shake my head. "No." I can't fucking lie to him. I'm exhausted from the lies. I just want to get everything off my chest. All of it.

"You lied to me." It's a statement, not a question.

I nod my head once and reply in a clipped tone, "Yup." The room's silent for what feels like forever. Both of us just glaring at each other with clenched fists, waiting for the other to make their move. "You want to ask me anything else, Maddox?" I may as well give it to him. I'm tired of waiting for it all to come crashing down. I can hear my blood rushing into my ears and my heart's pounding in my chest. Just ask me. Minutes tick by and he finally gives it to me.

"You a cop, Blake?"

I don't even hesitate while I look him right in the eyes and reply, "Yeah, I am." As the words leave my mouth, the printer goes off next to me, making both of us jump.

"Here you go." Pinch turns in the chair and hands me a piece of paper before glancing down to my hands and saying, "You ripped that one to shreds, so I figured you'd want a new one." He gives me a huge grin and shrugs as he casually adds, "We already knew."

What the fuck? I feel like he punched me in the gut. I turn to Maddox, seeing nothing but red and ask, "You knew?"

"Yeah." He doesn't change his emotionless expression in the least. "Since day one." Motherfucker! I clench my fists, ready to punch this fucker right in his smug face.

"All those times I tried to fucking tell you, and you cut me off." To say I'm pissed off would be a massive understatement. I've shared everything with him, everything I went through overseas, and then the shit I came home to. I wanted to tell him every fucking day since we put his old man in the ground, but he kept shutting me down. That motherfucker.

"You have some fucking nerve to be pissed at me!" He puts his face less than an inch away from mine, invading my space and egging me on. "You're the fucking cop!"

Pinch gets between us and shoves Maddox hard in his chest. He may be gangly, but he's fucking lethal. Maddox's hard body slams into the back wall. "Shut your fucking mouth, Maddox. They'll hear you." I'm suddenly acutely aware of the fact that we're in the clubhouse and I've just admitted to being a cop.

My thoughts fly to Marie. My stomach drops and I start cracking each knuckle on my fists. "Marie's got nothing to do with any of this shit." I have to clear her. "Fuck, I just met her tonight. I fucking swear it."

"We know," Pinch pipes up. Relief floods through me.

"Who else knows?"

Pinch answers with his typical ease and his grin returns as he sits back down. "Just the two of us and Pres. And Jace."

I snort. "Of course Jace knows. He's always following me around like a lost puppy and spouting off shit about the shipments."

"You tell your boss about the shipments?" Maddox's eyeing me like an asshole.

"The Pres is my boss." The words come out hard, daring him to contradict me. I haven't had a real conversation with Roger in months. Not only that, but there's nothing to say about the shipments. They control the port, but I've never seen anything shady come through. Shit ton of pot, but that's not worth mentioning.

"Stop fucking with him." Pinch looks at me after telling Maddox off. "We know you don't say shit about the shipments. Roger's the one who sent you to us." This just keeps getting better and better. He smiles like a lunatic then says, "And he's the PD contact."

My whole body feels like it's shaking with rage. "You know how hard it was for me to go through with everything last week?" I glare at Maddox. "Why'd you fucking cut me off? You had to know this is what I was getting at." I felt like a fraud. And like a pussy for not telling them. The guys are my family. I'd done everything I could to prove it to them, but with that shit weighing on me, it just didn't feel right getting patched. Maddox stares at me for the longest fucking time. So long, I don't think he's going to answer me.

"I don't like the fact that you're a cop." He shrugs, and for the first time since I admitted the truth, he relaxes a bit. "It was easier to just pretend you weren't."

"Now what?" I have to ask. "You guys going to kill me?"

"What the fuck, Blake?" Pinch looks at me like I kicked his puppy. Even Maddox takes a step back and side-eyes me like I'm the crazy one.

"Well, what the hell am I supposed to think?" My anger has taken over. I'm running on pure adrenaline and anxiety.

"Think of it like a job interview, only we didn't want you to realize you were applying."

"It took you two fucking years to figure out that you wanted me for the job?" The question rips up my throat with outrage.

"Well technically we wanted to patch you last year, but Pres liked fucking with you or something and you didn't seem like you were in a rush."

"Why didn't he tell me before last week?" It fucking hurts. I can't help it. I wanted to be patched, but not as a fucking undercover cop. My rage fades as I realize what a blow it was for them to know and not tell me.

Pinch shrugs. "Maybe he wanted to see if you'd tell him."

"Shit." If that's the case, then I failed him. I'm not as close to Linc as I am with Maddox. In fact, I've kept a lot of shit that the two of us have gotten into from Linc. Now it's just guilt eating at me. I've got to talk to Linc, ASAP.

"What about the chick?" Pinch's question makes my fists clench and my blood run cold.

"What about her?" I can't help the growl that escapes.

"Well, you making her your old lady?" His question lifts a fucking ton of weight off my shoulders. I almost smile. Almost.

"If I'd known her more than a few hours, I'd be able to answer that. For now, just keep your hands off."

Pinch lets out his signature, high-pitched laugh looking crazy as fuck and Maddox shakes his head, making the ghost of a smile on my face vanish. His lips are pressed in a hard line. He hasn't looked at me like that since I first came to the club. I feel like I failed him.

"We good?" I ask him in all seriousness. I don't know what I'd do if I lost him. The thought makes my chest feel hollow.

"Yeah." His hard eyes soften and he grabs me in a bear hug. I pat him hard on the back. Thank fuck.

"I'm fucking sorry."

"Me too, brother." He grabs the piece of paper in my hands. "You sure you don't want help fucking this guy up?" A grin spreads across my face.

"I guess I could use some help."

"Go take your hellcat home and let me know where to meet you."

I shake out my shoulders and nod at the guys, leaving the back room feeling like I can breathe easy. The weight that's been holding me down for years has finally been lifted. I still need to talk to Linc though. Guilt starts to creep up again, but I push it aside. I'll take care of Marie first.

I search the bar for her, but she's not there. I grab my barstool and wait for her to come back from the bathroom, figuring that must be where she went. After a few minutes pass, I start to get up thinking she must be upstairs still, but Tammy sidles up next to me, halting my movement.

"Whatcha doing tonight, Blake?" Her flirtatious tone is unwelcome. She knows damn well I'm here with Marie. I noticeably lean away from her; if my hellcat comes back down and sees me with Tammy, I don't know what she'll think. Hopefully the way I'm sitting will make it obvious that I'm not interested. To both of them.

"I came here with my girl."

Tammy's a pretty little thing, but she just wants to be on the arm of any of the members. I don't have any problems letting her down easy.

"I know, but she just left."

I stare at her and my brow furrows in confusion and disbelief. "What?" I look around the main room, searching for her gorgeous ass.

"Yeah, she asked to use my phone and took off." She says the words easily and leans closer to me, putting her hand on my thigh. I push her off the second her hand hits me. She protests, looking wounded by my rejection, but I don't give a fuck.

She fucking left me? I try to swallow down the lump forming in my throat. I really thought we had something. My fist slams on the bar. I fucking know we had something special between us. It's my own damn fault. I pushed her too hard, too fast. It's the way I've always been. Fuck! I finally got everything straightened out with the MC and the same fucking night, she leaves me. I've got to get her back. I'm not going to let her go without fighting for her.

I ignore Tammy and whatever words are falling out of her mouth, and walk with long, powerful strides to the back room. Pinch and Maddox are still there, relaxed around the computer and looking at some video online. When they see my face, both of them look back with concern and Maddox shoots up from his spot ready to take out whoever I need him to.

"She took off."

The confidence leaves Maddox's face. He's never kept a girl, so he wouldn't know what the hell to do. Neither have I.

"What'd you do to scare her off?"

I shake my head. I know I was pushing her limits, but I thought she could take it. I thought she fucking loved it. I feel like a piece of shit.

I'm pissed that she left. I'm pissed she didn't tell me she wasn't happy. I'm pissed that I pushed her too hard. To be honest, I'm just pissed the fuck off. "I just need her address." I stare pointedly at Pinch. "Where's that ID?"

"What'd you do to our kitten, Blake?" Maddox interjects.

"She's not our kitten. She's mine." Maddox huffs at my words; his nostrils flare and his fists clench. I can see the wheels turning in his head as the silence settles in between us.

"Maybe if she was ours, she wouldn't have left you," he points out easily and I fucking lose it. The last thread holding me together snaps. I've been on edge all night and this just breaks something in me.

Adrenaline pumps through my body, burning up my skin. I hear the loud, pulsing thud of my blood in my ears. A snarl rips through me as I slam both of my fists into Maddox's shoulders, landing hard and knocking into him with all my weight. He stumbles, smashing his shoulder and head against the brick wall. Before he gains his balance, I land a blow into his gut that nearly has him doubling over. But Maddox's a huge fucker who's taken enough punches to know how to handle them. He mutters under his breath, "Stupid fuck!" while ramming his shoulder into my gut. My legs lose their balance as my boot backs into the fucking rug, tripping me.

I fall hard on my ass and elbows with Maddox's large frame crushing down on mine. I quickly wrap a leg around his calf and push my weight to the opposite shoulder, forcing him down on his back with me landing hard on his chest. My fist slams into the floor as I try to gain my balance and focus. It hurts like a bitch as I get up clenching my fists and the movement splits my knuckles. My left hand grabs the collar of his shirt as I raise my bloodied right fist. But before I'm able to gain my balance and take a swing at him, he plants a punch on my left cheek. Fuck! I stagger back, both fists immediately going to my face to block any more punches. I land on my ass, but move to my feet the second I see Maddox breathing heavy and struggling to get up.

"What the fuck are you two going at it for?" Linc's words barely register as my fist connects with Maddox's hard jaw. My knuckles scream at the contact and pain shoots up my arm before running back down to my aching fist. Fuck, that hurt. Maddox's got a hand cradling that side of his face and he's rubbing his jaw. At least it fucking hurt him too.

"Maddox wants to fuck my girl. He doesn't fucking understand that she's mine."

"Fuck you. You may have seen her first, but that doesn't make her yours."

"Shut the fuck up. Both of you. You two want to tear each other apart, fine by me. Fight it out in the ring tomorrow." A moment passes of silence. All I can hear is the blood still roaring in my ears and our heavy breathing. I glare at Maddox before facing Linc.

The second I see him, all I can think about is how he brought me on, even knowing I was undercover. How he patched me, knowing I was a cop. He has no idea I know. It feels like everything is crumbling around me. Fuck. My girl left me, the only girl I ever fucking wanted. My best friend wants to sleep with her. And the only people I ever considered family have known for years that I've been lying to them. Something hard drops in the pit of my stomach as my heart lurches in my chest.

I open my mouth, but the words don't come out. I slam my mouth shut and clench my fists, wanting to beat the shit out of Maddox all over again. Anything to get rid of this pain pushing down on me. I don't know how to tell Linc. How the hell do I tell him? My blood runs cold and all I can hear is a pounding in my ears.

I hear Maddox spit in the trashcan before he says, "Blake's got some prick's info for Roger, Pres." I glance over at him and he gives me a tight smile. I give the same tense smile back and relax my fists. Even after knocking him around, he's still helping me out.

It takes a minute for Linc to register what Maddox just told him. I see the moment it finally clicks, because his face lights up and a smile takes over his face; a rough chuckle barrels through his chest. "Well, it's about damn time." His left hand comes down on my shoulder and squeezes before he grabs me in a bear hug. What the fuck? "Who told you?"

Pinch pipes up before I can respond and says, "Maddox was fucking around with him, Pres. So I told him."

Linc's smile slips. "What do you mean?" Before anyone can answer he adds, "Who told you we knew you were a cop?" I feel my forehead pinch in confusion. Why the fuck does it matter? I'm not going to question Linc though. You don't question Pres.

"I did." Pinch looks curious too. His normal smile has faded and his eyes are darting between the three of us. I've rarely seen him anything other than happy as a pig in shit, so seeing him eyeing the fuck out of everyone is making my own nerves race through me.

"Damn it, Pinch!" Pinch cringes at Linc's outburst. "You cost me twenty grand." Linc starts shaking his head before smacking Maddox on the back of his. We all flinch at the sound, because it sure as hell wasn't a love tap, and Maddox takes a step closer to me. As if I can protect him from Pres if it comes to that.

"What the hell's wrong with you, Maddox?" Linc's hard eyes bore into Maddox's as he asks, "He's the closest thing you've got to family, and you didn't tell him?"

It's easy to see Maddox's confusion on his face. He parts his lips to respond, but nothing comes out. His eyes shift hesitantly to me and then back to Linc's before he points out, "Pres, you told me not to."

"I told you not to do a lot of shit, but that didn't stop you two, did it?" I press my lips into a hard, tight line waiting for Maddox to respond. How does he know about that? And what exactly does he know? I'm not admitting shit.

He clenches his fists and opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. His eyes find mine and I shake my head slowly, silently telling him that I didn't tell Linc anything.

Linc rubs his hands down his face and mutters, "Dammit Maddox, you owe me twenty grand." He shakes his head one last time and looks at the two of us like we've disappointed him.

"You two get your shit settled. But if you wanna fight it out, you do it in the ring. I have to call Roger." Link slams the door shut on his way out, cursing us under his breath.

The three of us stare at the closed door.

"That's why he didn't tell me?" I look between the two of them slowly. "Because of a bet?"

"Who the fuck would bet twenty grand on that?" Pinch's brows are knitted and he runs his hand through his hair in confusion while sitting back in his seat. Silence settles over the room.

"You know I meant what I said earlier." Maddox's voice breaks the quiet.

"Which part of what you said?" For the life of me, I don't know what he's getting at. But if it's about Marie, we're gonna have problems.

"Maybe between the two of us, we can keep her." Motherfucker just won't let it go.

"Don't make me kill you, Maddox."

He holds up both hands in surrender, but refuses to shut the fuck up. "Just listen to me." I shake my head and curl my lip as rage pumps through me. "I know she's not just a piece of ass." His words make me pause, but only for a second.

"You think she's going to listen to you when you show up at her place?" My eyes dart to the floor for a split second in doubt before meeting his.

"You think she'd listen to you? But not me?" I sneer and resist the urge to spit.

"Calm the fuck down, Blake."

"Fuck you! You're trying to take her from me!"

"I'm not taking anything from you. I want to share her." My hands tighten into fists, making my split knuckles scream in agony. I tilt my head and crack my neck. My body's on edge and I want nothing more than to take out all this pent-up energy on Maddox's face.

"I wouldn't know what the fuck to do with a girl like Marie. But I want her. I can't help it."

"Maddox, I'm warning you." My low voice is steady, the threat dripping with menace. Marie's not some fling. I want more from her. More with her.

"I can help you. We can be everything she wants." My nostrils flare in anger, but deep down that fucking hurt.

"You think she won't want me? Is that it? I'm not good enough for her?" His words gut me, taking advantage of my insecurities.

"I didn't fucking say that." Maddox's face flashes with remorse before taking on a hard edge. "That's not what I meant, and you know it."

"What the fuck did you mean?"

"I want her. I want her." He pauses, his eyes searching mine, pleading with me to understand him. "Not just as a piece of ass, but to keep. I know you want her too. Between the two of us, she'll stay." I turn my back to him to face the door, letting his words settle. Maddox continues talking to my back. "I know she will. You'll fuck up and I'll fuck up, but one of us will always be there to keep her."

"I want her, Maddox." I finally turn back to him. "I don't know if I can keep her, but I want to."

"I know you do; I do too."

I nod my head at him. "I fucked up. I know I did." I breathe out deep and say, "I don't know if I wanna share her." I shake my head and admit, "I don't want to scare her off."

"Let me go with you." He takes a step forward. "I think she wants it."

I quirk a brow at him. "Why do you think that?"

He shrugs his shoulders. "It won't hurt to see, right? If I'm wrong, I'll back off."

I consider what he's saying. Obviously I'm doing a shit job of keeping her if I can't even hold onto her for one night. We've shared women before and they fucking loved it. This will be different obviously, since we don't want to let her go. "You really think we can keep her?"

He grins back at me as he says, "Hell yeah! I know we can make our kitten happy." He rubs his jaw and says, "You got me pretty good."

An asymmetric smile pulls on my lips as I point out, "You fucking had it coming."

He belts out a deep laugh.

"I swear to God if this scares her off, I'm taking you in the ring tomorrow."

"It's not gonna fucking happen. Marie's gonna be rubbing our shoulders while we fuck up the Rogue MC."

"Bunch of pussies." I shake out my shoulders and suck the blood off one of my knuckles. "I probably shouldn't have hit you."

He shrugs again and then gives me a devilish grin. "Probably not. Your face looks like shit."