19. Peyton

PEYTON

" M om!" Finn raced over and jumped into her arms, wrapping his legs around her waist and linking his feet behind her. "You're here! Grandpa's at Stave, working 'cause you're sick. Are you feeling better?"

"I am feeling better, now that I'm here." She tousled his hair. "I missed you, kiddo."

"Missed you too, Mom." He let go, and his feet hit the ground. "You stayin' for dinner? It's almost ready."

"Sure am." Peyton could smell the aroma of her mom's Santa Maria-style tri-tip.

"Hi, darling girl. Are you feeling better?"

She stepped into her mother's arms and rested her head on her mom's shoulder. Peyton got her height from both her parents, along with their long, thin, Germanic facial features. Her high cheekbones and long wavy hair, she got from her mom alone.

Her name was August, for the month of her birth, and Peyton couldn't imagine a more fitting name for her. Jamison was named after her dad, and while Lang chose Finn's name, Peyton loved it too.

"I'm okay. Weird dreams."

Her mom wrapped Peyton's arm in hers, and went in the opposite direction of the house. "Tell me what's going on, Peyton. I know it's more than a weird dream."

"I've been spending time with Brodie Butler."

"I see."

"What does that mean?"

Her mom smiled. "Nothing."

"It's so weird."

"What makes you say that?"

"Come on, Mom. You have to admit it is."

Her mother kept walking without speaking until they came to the prettiest spot on the ranch. The view of the valley always took Peyton's breath away.

"I'm going to tell you something you may not like."

"Okay…"

"I wasn't crazy about Kade Butler."

This was news. Her mother had never said a negative word about him or Lang. Even when he left her and the boys, she didn't defend him, but she didn't disparage him, either.

"This isn't like you, Mom."

"I know it isn't. I've always believed you were capable of making your own decisions, for your own reasons. I can't pretend to know how you feel inside."

"Why didn't you like Kade?"

"It should be obvious, Peyton."

"Well, it isn't," she snapped, tired of her mom's cat-and-mouse game.

"We rarely saw you when you were with him, sweetheart. That's a red flag. There were others. I don't know if he was always honest with you."

"Alex said the same thing the other day. Only, she said he wasn't the man I thought he was."

"Did she elaborate?"

"Yes." She wasn't ready to tell her mom what Alex had said about Kade. It really didn't make him seem any different in Peyton's eyes. It hadn't changed the way she saw him. Maybe because she'd sensed it about him.

"Peyton?"

"She told me he was going to work for the CIA. She said he kept it from me because he was afraid I wouldn't like it."

"Do you agree?"

"I don't think he intentionally kept it from me, but she's right to say we never talked about it."

"He discussed it with your dad."

"What? Seriously? Why didn't Dad say anything?" Peyton asked her mom.

"Kade asked him not to."

"Then, Dad isn't any better than Kade was."

"Peyton!" her mother gasped.

"I'm tired of men keeping me in the dark about things that affect my life. Lying, sneaking around, cheating—I'm sick of it."

Her mom shook her head. "Your father didn't do any of those things."

"He didn't tell me Kade spoke to him about things I was unaware of. That's lying."

"No, it's waiting. Kade asked him to wait."

"For what?" Peyton asked.

"He was going to ask you to marry him."

Peyton sat down on the ground and put her elbows on her raised knees. "It would've been important for me to know that before I gave him my answer."

"Your father would've told you, but then Kade died, and there was no reason to."

"We never discussed marriage, Mom. Never. Brodie said something about how things might have been different after we were married. That I'd get to know the rest of his family better. I told him that Kade and I weren't as close as he thought we were."

"Maybe you didn't think so, but Kade did."

There were so many things she didn't know about him, not only about his new job. The more she heard, the more it sounded as though Kade took things for granted or believed he knew how she felt without discussing it with her.

"I wouldn't have married him. I had doubts, even about the relationship continuing. He swept me up. I loved him, but the little voice inside me that I refused to listen to before I married Lang, wasn't keeping quiet," Peyton admitted.

"I'm happy to hear you're paying more attention to your intuition."

"I had a dream about Kade this morning. I was at Stave, sitting in the sun, and dozed off. I dreamed he was sitting at the table, across from me. He told me his mom would be okay."

"Alex told us it left you quite shaken," said her mother.

"Worse. I went looking for him."

"Oh, sweetheart." Her mom knelt down and put her arm around Peyton's shoulders.

"I'm mortified about it now. Addy's probably going to quit, given she works for a madwoman."

"Don't be ridiculous. Addy is fine. She's worried about you like many of us are."

"Worried about my madness."

"No, Peyton. Don't make more of this than it was."

"You sound like Alex."

"I've always loved that girl." She smiled. "Peyton, talk to me about Brodie."

And say what? They had crazy sex last night? That she spent a day with him and he swept her off her feet in the same way Kade had?

"I don't know what he wants from me."

"Maybe to get to know you."

"Why? Aren't there other single women in the valley the Butler boys can chase after? Or maybe they've already gone through all of them."

"Peyton!"

"What? Have you seen them? They're Adonises. Every one of them. Kade was. Maddox looks like him, except taller. Naughton is…what did Alex say? All broody Scottish guy, but no less godlike. And then there's Brodie, with his gorgeous blue eyes and his eight-pack abs, and, and that…" Incredible ass, and his powerful legs, and his mouth. His mouth was magical.

Her mom fanned her face. "Your father always made me feel the same way you do with Brodie."

"He doesn't affect me."

"Now, who's the liar?" her mother asked.

Peyton folded her arms. "That isn't very nice."

"Neither is lying."

Peyton's cell rang. "This is probably Brodie."

She took her phone out of her pocket and looked at the screen. It was Jamison.

"Hey, Jamie. What's up?"

"Where are you and Grandma? We're starving."

"Sorry, honey. We went for a walk. We'll be up to the house in a minute." Then she turned to her mom and said, "Boys are starving."

"We'll finish this conversation later."

"No, Mom, we won't. There's nothing more to say on the Butler subject."

After dinner, Peyton took the path to the guesthouse. The boys wanted to sleep in the main house again tonight, and she didn't mind. At least she was with them for dinner, a rare occurrence on a Saturday night. She'd be with them again tomorrow, if her dad agreed to cover for her.

The little house had been her home right after Kade died. Her pillow could tell stories about how she'd cried into it night after night. She found comfort being so close to her mom and dad, particularly since her mom often came down to check on her.

She was their only child. After she was born, they'd tried to have more children, but her mom miscarried enough times that her dad said he couldn't stand to watch her go through it again. They talked about adoption, but the process was long and complex, and soon, they gave up on that too.

Peyton often wished for a brother or sister, but once she became friends with Alex, she realized how overwhelming a big family could be. Her friend had six brothers, and she was right in the middle of the pack. She'd beg to spend the night at Peyton's house so she could get away from the chaos.

Her phone vibrated with a text alert. She guessed it was Brodie, and she was right. It would be so easy to give in and answer him, but she couldn't. It was better to cut ties now, before either of them got in any deeper. She didn't care what Kade's ghost had told his mother.