17. Peyton

PEYTON

T en minutes earlier, Peyton had been starving. Now, the thought of eating made her nauseous. Instead of going home, she drove to Stave. They'd be opening in an hour, and there was no telling what kind of shape Alex left the place in last night.

Her friend's car was in the parking lot when she pulled in, but that didn't mean much. After the night she'd had, who knew what might have gone on between her and Maddox.

"Well, good morning, sunshine." Alex beamed when Peyton came in.

"Hey."

"Wait, you're not smiling like the sun. What's wrong?"

"They took Mrs. Butler to the hospital by helicopter this morning. Her heart?—"

Alex's hand went to her mouth, and she ran to the office before Peyton finished her sentence.

She returned a minute later, holding her cell. "It went to voicemail," she explained.

"Maddox?"

"Yeah."

"My dad—" Alex's eyes filled with tears.

Peyton hugged her. "I know, sweetie."

Alfonso Avila had died of a massive heart attack far too young. Peyton got it. Brodie's mom being taken by helicopter hit too close to home. Alex's dad had been too, but he was dead before it touched down.

Alex hit the buttons on her phone again, waited, and then hung up.

"You can go if you want," Peyton offered.

"No. I don't want to intrude."

"Alex, that's the last thing they'd think. You've known the Butlers your whole life."

"I'll wait." Her friend went to the front of the tasting room and opened the garage door. "The weather is so beautiful. We should take advantage of it."

Peyton noticed the way Alex's hands shook when she hit the opener. Her skin had gone pale, and her eyes were filled with tears.

"If you're okay to drive. Please go."

"I don't know."

"I'll be fine here. They need you. Maddox needs you."

"Call Addy?"

"Yep, I'll see if she can come in early. If not, I'll try Sam."

"You're sure?"

"I'm sure."

Peyton was as worried as Alex, but it wouldn't be appropriate for her to go to the hospital. Maddox knew about her and Brodie, but what about the rest of their family? What would they think of her being there?

Since there was nothing for her to do to get Stave ready to open—it appeared Alex had been there a while—Peyton went into the kitchen and brewed a fresh pot of coffee.

She was worried about Mrs. Butler, but knew Alex would call and give her an update as soon as she knew anything.

With a fully loaded cup of caffeine, Peyton walked out front and sat at one of the tables on the patio. The sun, beating down from the east, felt warm on her face, and she closed her eyes.

When she opened them, a man entered the store across the street. She held her breath. From the back, he looked as much like Kade as Brodie had. God, had that only been a few days ago?

She put her feet on the chair across from her, set her coffee on the table, and shut her eyes.

"Peyton, wake up." The gravelly voice she knew so well startled her.

She opened her eyes and blinked, trying to focus. Kade was sitting at the table, in the chair opposite hers.

"Kade?" She gasped. "What?—"

He held up his hand, and she stopped talking.

"She's going to be okay."

"Your mom?"

"It was a mild one, more of a warning. They'll keep her for a couple of days, for observation, and then let her go home."

"But—"

"Everything will be okay, Peyton. She'll be okay, and so will you."

"Peyton?" When she opened her eyes again, Addy was shaking her shoulder.

"Where did he go?" She sat up and looked around the patio.

"Who?"

"Kade! He was just here. Where did he go?"

"Peyton…you were dreaming…"

"No, Addy. He was here. He told me his mom was going to be okay."

"That's why I came looking for you." Addy handed Peyton her cell that she'd left on the desk in her office. "Alex is trying to get in touch with you."

Peyton searched up and down the street. No one was out yet this morning. She looked across and saw a closed sign in the window of the store she'd, only moments ago, thought she saw Kade walk into.

"I'm sorry, Peyton." Addy stood next to her.

"He was here. I swear it." Out of the corner of her eye, Peyton saw Addy shake her head as she left.

Instead of calling Alex, Peyton went to her favorites screen and punched the icon for Kade.

The phone rang and rang, but he didn't pick up, and it didn't go to voicemail. That was odd. As soon as she set the phone down on the table, it rang. When she grabbed it, she saw it was Alex.

"Hi."

"Hey, Peyton. I'm not at the hospital yet, but Maddox called. Their mom is going to be okay. It was a mild heart attack."

"I know. They're going to keep her at the hospital for observation."

"That's right. How did you know? Did you call the hospital?"

"Kade told me. He was just here, but I closed my eyes and he was gone. I need to find him."

"Wait, wait, wait, honey. What's going on?"

Peyton disconnected the call and shoved the phone into her pocket. He couldn't have gotten far. Why did he leave? Where did he go?

She walked from the west village to the east, then searched both sides of the street again, wishing she'd driven instead. A few minutes later, Alex pulled up.

"Get in," she shouted. When Peyton didn't stop, Alex got out of the car, walked toward her, and put her arm around Peyton's shoulders, then guided her into the car. Then she started the engine.

"Where are we going?" Peyton asked.

"Home."

"Home? I don't want to go home. I need to find?—"

Alex pulled the car off the side of the road, took Peyton's hands in hers, and looked into her eyes. "Kade is dead, Peyton. He wasn't here. He didn't tell you about his mother."

"But—"

"No, Peyton. Kade is dead ."

She rolled over and sat up. It was dark in her bedroom. Peyton remembered Alex had driven her home and guided her inside, then brought her in here and sat on the bed. She hadn't left even when Peyton rolled to her side and faced away from her.

"She's sleeping now," she heard Alex say from the other room. "I don't know. I have no idea what brought it on. She was fine when I saw her earlier. Better than I was, actually." Alex paused. "I'm going to stay with her." Another pause. "That would be great. I appreciate it so much." Pause. "No, I think it would be best if I was with her."

Alex peeked around the corner. "You're awake."

"Who were you talking to?"

"Your dad. He's going to help out at Stave today. I'm sure Addy and Sam would be fine, but if it gets busy, it'll be better if he's there."

"This is crazy." Peyton started to get up, but Alex shook her head.

"You and I are going to stay here, Peyton. You need rest, and maybe I do too."

"Alex, I?—"

"Peyton!" she shouted. "Don't say it again. Kade was not here. You can't find him, because he wasn't here. Stop this."

What was wrong with her? She knew Kade was dead, but it had seemed so real. It wasn't the first time she'd thought she saw him, but this was different. He'd talked to her, and he'd told her his mother was going to be okay.

"How would I know about their mom if Kade didn't tell me?"

"I don't know, honey. Premonition?"

"But it seemed so real. He seemed so real."

"I don't know, Peyton. All I know for sure is that he's dead and you didn't see him this morning."

Peyton rolled over and closed her eyes. A few minutes later, Alex got up and left the bedroom. Peyton turned over and looked up at the ceiling. She wasn't crazy. She knew it was nuts to think she saw Kade, to think he'd talked to her. But it had seemed so real that she couldn't shake it.

Maybe Alex was right. She and Brodie had hardly slept at all last night. Between the stress of something happening to his mom and him having to leave, and the weirdness of it all, her mind had played tricks on her like it had so many times before.

Peyton could hear Alex on the phone again, but not what she was saying. She reached over and looked at her cell. It was the middle of the afternoon. Had she really slept that long? She sat up, felt dizzy, and grasped the edge of the bed, waiting for the room to stop spinning. She was about to get up when she heard Alex's footsteps coming down the hallway.

"I don't think it's a good idea, but I'll see. Hold on," she heard her friend say before she came around the corner.

"It's Brodie," she mouthed.

She shook her head, eased by her, and went into the bathroom.

"She's still sleeping. I'll tell her you called when she wakes up."

When Peyton came out, she walked in the direction of the kitchen.

"How are you feeling?" her friend asked.

"Fine."

"You slept a long time."

"I was tired."

"Peyton?"

"Don't say it, Alex. I feel stupid, okay? Really stupid."

"Don't be so hard on yourself."

"How's Mrs. Butler?"

"She's fine. They're keeping her for a couple of days, but otherwise, they aren't concerned."

Peyton wouldn't say it out loud, one because she knew it sounded like she'd lost her mind, and two, Alex would get angry with her. But she couldn't shake the feeling that everything her friend said, she already knew. At least most of it. The last thing she remembered Kade saying was, "She'll be okay, and so will you." What did he mean when he said she'd be okay too?

"Brodie wants to come by."

Peyton knew he would, given the way he'd left this morning. "Does he know?"

"No. I told you the only other person who knows is Addy."

"My parents."

"They aren't going to tell Brodie or anyone else, sweetie."

"Maddox?"

"Give me a break. What did I just say? I said no one else. And jeez, do you really think I'd tell Maddox?"

Peyton shrugged.

"Brodie wants to see you. Unless you tell him, he's not going to understand."

"I'll call him,"

"Good."

"You can leave now. I'm okay. My momentary lapse into madness is over."

"If you're sure."

"I'm fine, Alex. I'm not coming in tonight, but I'm fine."

"If you said you were going to, I wouldn't let you."

"My car…"

"I'll have your dad or Addy follow me over before it gets busy with the Saturday night crowd."

"Thanks, Alex. I want you to know I appreciate everything you did for me today—even though I was a colossal bitch about it."

"Yeah, if I suddenly went bonkers and started seeing the ghost of my father, you'd do the same for me."

Peyton laughed out loud. "Yeah, I would."

She waited until Alex drove off before picking up her cell to call Brodie. He answered before she even heard it ring.

"Hi. I've been worried about you."

"I'm really tired. How's your mom?"

"She'll be fine. It was only?—"

"Alex told me." Peyton didn't want to hear the same words Kade had spoken to her earlier from Brodie.

"Alex said you slept most of the morning. Are you feeling okay?"

"Not really."

"What's going on with you, Peyton? You're not smiling."

That made her smile. It was one of his superpowers. And maybe Kade's superpower was returning from the dead.

"Can I come over?"

"That isn't a good idea."

"Why not?"

"I need some space. Last night was…"

"Mind-blowing. Otherworldly. That's what you said earlier."

"It was a mistake, Brodie. I was in love with your brother, and that isn't something I can shut off. I'm sorry, but we can't continue seeing each other."

"Don't go there, Peyton. Don't let his memory come between us. Kade is gone, and I'm here, and this thing we have is something special. I feel it everywhere—my head, my heart, and the rest of my body."

"It's wrong, and I can't do it. Bye, Brodie."

Peyton disconnected the call and returned to the bedroom, deciding she should wash the sheets. It was another warm day, so even though it was five in the afternoon, she could still open some windows and air her room out.

Once the bedding was in the washer, she cleaned the bathroom and the kitchen. As long as she was stuck here, she might as well make good use of the time.

She heard the garage door open and went out to thank her father and Alex for bringing her car.

"How's my girl?" her dad asked, wrapping her in a big hug.

"Nuts, but okay."

"I can't tell you I've ever had anything like that happen to me, but I understand, sweetheart. You'll mourn Kade's loss for the rest of your life, in some way. The pain is less now than it was a year ago, and five years from now, it'll lessen more. There may even come a day, and I hope it's soon, when you'll find love again. You deserve it, sweetheart."

"Thanks."

Peyton pulled away. He meant the best with his words, but they cut into her, nonetheless. She couldn't think about finding love again. She wasn't ready, and maybe she never would be.

"How's business?" she asked Alex.

"Swamped. Sorry, but we're needed at Stave."

"I can come in?—"

Both Alex and her father said "no," at the same time.

"Okay, okay." She held up her hands. "I'll be in tomorrow, though."

"I wouldn't expect anything else. See you then." Alex waved and climbed into the passenger seat of Peyton's father's truck.

"See you, Dad. Give my boys a big hug from me when you get home later, and tell them I'll see them tomorrow."

"Love you, Peyton."

"I love you too, Dad."

Peyton went inside to finish cleaning. Maybe she'd do the boys' bedrooms too while she was at it.

An hour later, she heard a knock at the door. There was only one person it could be, and she didn't want him here.

She heard the knock again, only louder. Since most of the windows in her house were open, she couldn't hide. Besides, anyone standing at the front door could hear music playing.

"Peyton, open the door," Brodie called out.

She wiped her hands on her jeans and took her time walking to the foyer. She didn't want to see him, and didn't appreciate his lack of respect for her request. When she swung the door open, intending to tell him exactly what was on her mind, the haunted look in his eyes stopped her cold.

"Brodie, what's wrong? Did something happen with your mom?"

"We need to talk." He pushed past her and stood in her living room with his arms folded.

"I already told you?—"

"There's something I need to tell you, Peyton. It's important, and I'm asking you to please listen."

She didn't appreciate the tone of his voice any more than his lack of respect for her wishes. It was only his appearance that kept her still. He looked like hell and still hadn't told her what was wrong.

"Something happened."

Peyton gasped. "With your mom?"

"No. Yes. With my mom, but not in the way you're thinking."

"What, Brodie?"

"She told us she talked to Kade."

Peyton reached for the closest chair. She was lightheaded and knew the color had drained from her face. "What did she say?"

"He told her it wasn't her time and that we needed her. Especially me. That I needed her to help me with what I'm going through."

Peyton sat in the chair she'd been holding onto.

"She said something else, Peyton."

She didn't want to know. Whatever it was, was too much. She closed her eyes, hoping he wouldn't go on.

"He told her the family had to accept that you needed me," he said.

"No, Brodie."

"How would she know, Peyton?" he pressed.

"Maybe your brothers told her."

"They were as shocked as I was," Brodie insisted.

Peyton shook her head. "Then, it was a premonition."

"My ma was rattled, Peyton. And that wasn't all. She said he talked to you, too."

Peyton wanted to put her hands over her ears.

"So he didn't? You didn't dream about him talking to you?"

She took a deep breath, trying to decide whether to lie to Brodie or tell him the truth.

"You did. I can see it on your face."

"Another superpower, Brodie?"

"Don't give me that, Peyton. Tell me."

"No." It was none of his business. And whether she'd dreamed about Kade or not, he hadn't said a word about Brodie.

He stepped forward and knelt in front of her, reaching up to touch her cheek.

"Don't," she said, leaning away.

"Peyton—"

She pushed past him and stood behind the kitchen island. "When we spoke earlier, I told you I don't want to see you again. I'm sorry if I made you believe there was something more between us. There isn't. The sex was great; I'll concede that, but that's all it was. Sex. I'm confident it wasn't your first one-night stand, nor will it be the last."

"That isn't necessary."

"It is, Brodie. You're not listening to me. I don't want you, not in my bed, not in my house, not in my life. Please leave."

He grabbed his neck the same way Kade always had. She'd seen him do it so many times before. It meant something was troubling him, and was typically followed by action. With Brodie, it was no different. He strode over to her, as though he was on the attack.

She went around to the other side of the kitchen island. "I said no, Brodie, and I meant it. Do not touch me."

Those four words did it. Brodie's eyes darted back and forth and he stepped away. "Peyton, please?—"

" No! How many times do I have to say it?" She went to the front door and held it open.

Brodie approached. "This isn't over, Peyton. I'll give you some space, time even, but it isn't over."

"You're wrong. No matter how much time passes or space you give me, I'm not going to change my mind. Bye, Brodie."

Once he was out the door, she closed it behind him, locked it, and rested against it. She needed to get the hell out of this house, but everywhere she thought to go would be a place she'd been with him. If she drove north, she'd pass Piedras Blancas. If she went south, she wouldn't be able to think of anything other than the day she'd spent with him. Same thing if she went east, but her boys were east. That's what she needed, time with her boys.

There was a bag in her closet, packed and ready for when she decided to stay at her parents' guesthouse. She did it often enough. So, she grabbed it, went out the door to the garage, and got in her car.

When she passed the turnoff she and Brodie had taken the night before, she accelerated. When she reached the turnoff for Adelaida Trail, she contemplated going a different way around so she didn't have to pass the gates of Butler Ranch, but that was silly. She could drive by. It wouldn't affect her.