39. Clarissa

Is thereanything more delicious than waking up from late-night shenanigans with soreness and remembering exactly what you did to get into the state? As I shift in the bed, I stretch my back and twist to feel my hips sore as well. The room is quiet, and I roll over to see the bed empty.

Sitting atop Tyson’s pillow is a note. I smile because this is his thing. I found a note in my luggage and on the dresser. I’ve found notes on the nightstand and the balcony. Sometimes it’s a full poem, and sometimes it’s one word. He even managed to get one under our cloches from dinner last night. After we worked up an appetite, we finally pulled our food into the room, and in the midst of eating cold fries, I found the note tucked in the corner of the tray.

I keep asking where he hides them, but he shrugs and continues with whatever he’s doing.

I pull the paper from the pillow and read.

Good morning, baby,

I hated to leave you, but I knew you’d be hungry. I went to my favorite spot that has fresh croissants and the best pastries. Sadly, it’s not as close to our hotel, so while I’m gone, I want you to relax. If you’re waking up within twenty minutes of me leaving, your bath should still be hot. The time is 6:50.

-Your peace

I turn to the clock on the nightstand, and the time reads 7:05. I gasp, hop out of bed, and run to the bathroom. Sure enough, the bath is full and filled with lavender and jasmine petals. I melt at this scene because who thinks of this? Tyson is probably the most romantic, sweetest, thoughtful person I’ve ever met. I dip my hand in the water, and it’s still hot. I place the note on the counter before I ease into the bath. Immediately, my muscles relax, and I sigh. I swish the water in circles with my hands and lean back.

I keep going back to his words of us taking this time to feel and just be together, so I sigh again because that is exactly what I plan on doing. I wash my body and relish in the warmth of the fragrant water. I stay in the tub until my fingers resemble my wash days, where my fingers are wrinkled and my nails are softer after being immersed in the routine of detangling, deep conditioner, and shampoo, in that order.

I dry off my body and use my body butter to moisturize. This hotel has those thick plush robes, and I grab the one hanging close to the door and slip it on. Back in the main area of the suite, it’s quiet, and I walk to the balcony to soak up the city life. It’s the atmosphere that really makes me feel like I’m somewhere else, the slightly dreary weather and constant traffic below my feet. Tucking my legs under my butt, I just watch. I spot a young mother and her two kids cross the street. They all have matching rain boots, and although it’s not raining, they jump as they walk to catch splashes from puddles formed overnight.

As I’m staring at the cars slowing down to turn the corner of the mildly busy street, I feel it. If I’m honest with myself, I could always feel it, like an electrical charge when he’s in my vicinity. I smile before warm lips linger along my neck and kiss my shoulder.

“Hey, did you get to the bath in time?” That thick tone oozes and slithers down my spine. I think it’s the combination of living in London for so long but also being raised in North Carolina. The mix shouldn’t work, yet I melt at his words. I’ll probably never get over his accent.

“Hmmm,” I hum, and he comes to the side, looking down at me with a smile and his hands full.

“I got coffee and croissants,” he says, lifting his hands.

“Thank you.” I grab the bag that was sitting between the coffee cups, and he sits the drinks on the small table. He pulls off his shirt and tosses it aside before he motions for me to stand. I get up, and he takes my seat. I dart my eyes to the second empty chair next to mine and then back to him before he motions for me to walk forward.

“This is your seat too. Come here.”

I’m grateful at this moment that Tyson is all in because if he were on bullshit behavior, I’m not sure I could handle it.

“Really?”

“Come on. You keep stalling, and that perfect croissant is going to go stale.”

The sly smile and quirk of his brows give his intention away, but I’m not fighting this, so I go to him. I make myself comfortable on his lap, and he squeezes me to his chest.

“See, perfect,” he whispers along my neck, and I sink deeper into him.

I take out the croissant, and we share one. It’s light and fluffy, yet buttery. I pull apart the treat, feeding him and myself as we sit silently on the balcony and watch people gather along the wet roads.

After we finish eating, I hand him his coffee, and I take mine. Every few minutes, he releases a deeper breath, and I mirror it. It’s the breath of contentment, almost muted joy as we settle in place. The slight chill does nothing to cool the warmth coming from my back as he holds my waist with one hand and drinks coffee with the other. This is already gearing up to be the best vacation of my life.

It’s day four, and I’ve never been so happy. Our days are spent lounging around the suite with a clothing-optional approach. I’m not sure I’ve ever been naked so much. We wake up late and sleep even later. I’ve seen a few more sights, but we designate an outing of no more than two spots per day. If we feel like going out, we do. If not, we stay in all day. We have been back to Mrs. Sue’s Chinese Cuisine, and I never get tired of eating that. He never complains when I suggest it again for the fourth time in as many days.

It’s so easy. My mind whirls at the thought that I took this adventure to shake things up in my life. With Tyree, things felt stagnant, which I confounded to comfortable. I think I mischaracterized my feelings. It’s not that I wanted things to be hard in my discomfort.

Mostly, I think I wanted to feel. I want to feel like my soul is on fire when he walks into a room. I want to feel like I’d die without him. I don’t know. I wanted to feel like I do right now as Tyson stalks across the suite, ass naked, with a wicked grin as he crawls across the bed.

“You have a good nap?” he asks, getting in behind me and pulling me to his chest.

“Hmm, this is the best vacation I’ve ever had.”

He laughs before he dips to kiss my shoulder. “I’m glad.”

I’m not sure what time it is, but we had our breakfast, then I was his breakfast, and sometime later, I fell asleep.

“This feels like déjà vu,” I say, thinking out loud.

“What about it?”

I release a breath and look back to those dark eyes. Like always, my belly drops, and butterflies take over.

I turn back and close my eyes before he’s nudging me to finish.

“Okay, so I might have had a dream about you a long time ago.”

“Ahh, shit! You dreaming about me? What happened?”

I groan and push into him, but that only makes him clutch me tighter and whisper in my ear, “Alright now, I’m trying to let you rest.”

A chill goes down my spine, and I melt.

He laughs in that smoky, thick tone. He must have felt my shiver from his words.

“Anyway… I had a dream—about you. There was a moment like this.” I say, remembering it. Old dreams are interesting because I can’t quite grasp the details, but I remember the feeling. I remember being cocooned in his warmth and so relaxed in his arms.

“I’m intrigued.”

“Okay, so don’t be weird about it, but it happened before I met you.”

His hand that was caressing my hip stops and pauses. “Continue.”

I laugh and release a breath before I go on. I tell him about showing up for the wedding and walking down the aisle to him instead of Tyree. I tell him how I freaked out and about how we went on our honeymoon anyway. It feels weird to retell since Rissa is the only one who knows about it. I tell him how I freaked out when I met him for the first time and how I’m not sure if, subconsciously, his face made its way to my dream or if it was something else.

“Honestly, Issa. Do you know the winning lottery numbers? ‘Cause it sounds like my baby got powers,” he says, laughing, and I join in.

“You called me Issa in the dream, too.”

“See, I think that meant something. Seriously, Issa, I’ve never felt so sure about anything in my life. I fucking love you so much it hurts,” he says in a way that leaves no argument. His feelings are palpable and raw.

“I know you still might be working through the way we started and what that means for the people in our lives, but Issa. It doesn’t change how I feel, and I hope my being honest doesn’t scare you.”

I turn in his arms so we’re facing each other and smile. I pull his face to mine and lose myself. I lose myself in his fingers gliding down my hip and the softness of his lips. I could do this forever.