Epilogue

EPILOGUE

Eighteen Years Later

* * *

“Will you marry me now?”

“Sure, why not?” My last baby had just gone off to college; the oldest just finished his master’s, the second oldest her bachelor’s, and the third was in her last year of college. My life, these last eighteen years, has been one of bliss. I was now fifty-one years old, with the best years of my life behind me, so why not?

I still have life left in me yet sure, but I think it’s time I settled down and made an honest man out of him. For the past eighteen years, we’ve been practically joined at the hip anyway. We did everything together, both with ourselves and with our kids.

He was a better boyfriend than he ever was a husband, and that is why each time he proposed over the years, I turned him down. It got to be a game with us, where he would ask, knowing that I would say no. As we got older, he griped and grumbled more, but I was staunch in my refusal and had no problem reminding him that I’d given him a chance once, and he’d blown it to shit.

My favorite analogy to use was the time he fell while rock climbing and refused to ever do it again for fear of it happening once more. He seemed to get it then and wasn’t as pushy, though he still asked when the mood struck, which always seemed to be on our first wedding anniversary.

My only interest, I told him, was making sure my kids had a full life, that I did what was best for them, and that didn’t include upending their lives again the next time he got the itch to fuck some strange because he’d lost control of his dick. He hates being reminded of his affair, but that’s his problem. I’m not hurting my babies to please him.

They flourished just from having both their parents in their lives, happy and healthy, which is all I ever wanted. Justin hadn’t strayed in all this time, and for the better part of that eighteen years, he’d gone above and beyond to prove himself and make amends, even long after I had forgiven him. Maybe the fact that I never told him I forgave him had something to do with that.

It had gotten so that some days I forgot that we were no longer married; things between us were so easy, better even than the first ten years together because he knew he had to do the work or he could take his ass back where he came from, which is something I reminded him of in the beginning.

I never realized how much power that piece of paper really has over people. He was the same man with the same career and responsibilities, but as a boyfriend, he stepped up way more than he had when he was my husband.

Suddenly, he could find his ass home at a decent hour after work. He had time to spend with the kids now when he couldn’t be bothered before. Sometimes all I could do was shake my damn head and wonder at the ignorance of the world and the people in it. But as long as my babies were happy, I was too.

I got free dick, more even than when we were married, I got to keep my babysitter because he had no say in that and more free time for myself since I never went back to work. I spent my days as the kids grew up taking care of me and doing the things I liked, which made for a happier, healthier me.

I wasn’t mean to Justin any longer, not after the first couple of years, but neither did I let myself forge and give into going back to the way things were. We were equal partners when it came to raising our kids, but I was my own person with my own wants and likes, and if something didn’t agree with him, that was too bad. I got my way most of the time, though I tried to be fair and not go too far; after all, he was still human.

All of our kids had done well in school, and like I said, Jamie had just gone off to college, so we were now looking at empty nesting. In the last few months, we’d talked, and Justin wanted to retire early so we could spend more time traveling the world now that the kids were grown and out of the house, and I thought that was a fine idea.

He’d used travel as an excuse for us to get married just in case something went wrong like we hadn’t been traveling at least twice a year for the past eighteen years without it. Now, today, he was bringing it up again, and since my last child support check had been cashed, why the hell not?

I hadn’t touched my personal account in years because Justin took care of all the household expenses, and if I even hinted at something, he had it delivered before I could make up my mind if I really wanted it or not. My cars, he bought; my jewelry, he bought; my luxury vacations, he paid for and everything else in between.

Of course, our children’s five-two-nines were set up by him, and their grandparents gave them all hefty sums when they graduated, and I know their future weddings and house down payments were taken care of. My money has been well invested over the years, and I have enough to take me through two lifetimes. In short, I have been sitting pretty. If he lost his mind and walked off today, I would still be set for life without the worry of financial strain.

That’s not all I was interested in, of course, but I learned after the failure of our marriage that you can’t live off of love and that shit doesn’t pay the bills. He loved me once and still cheated, and I am not one to forget shit.

“You can go down and file for the license on Monday.” I’ve never seen a happier man in my life. He paid and paid well for his betrayal, never once taking a step wrong. He let me know each time someone hit on him, which I pretended not to care about, but he, on the other hand, was very offended that anyone would hit on him because he was taken.

I reminded him time and again that he wasn’t wearing a wedding ring, so how were they to know? So he found his old one somewhere and started wearing it again, then had a conniption when I refused to wear mine.

He suggested all kinds of ways for me to let people know I was taken. A promise ring, just an engagement ring, anything. I refused them all, but I do wear the Cartier love bracelet he got me and never took it off. Let that be enough for him.

When he pushed as to why I refused to wear an engagement or wedding ring, I reminded him that he wore his wedding ring while he was fucking that dirty bitch, that it didn’t stop him, so why would it stop me or anyone else for that matter since it meant so little and that usually got him to crawl out my ass for a while.

He reached over to the bedside table and pulled out the jewelry box he’d hidden there. Inside was the biggest rock I’d ever seen on a ring. It had to be six carats easy and the most brilliant clear-cut diamond in a teardrop shape. Flawless!

I let him slip it on my finger and felt his dick jump against my back. Nasty, he’s still got it. We spent the weekend in bed and didn’t have to be quiet because there were no nosy ass teenagers sniffing around out there. That last kid put me through it, I’ll tell ya.

From beginning to end, he is his father’s child, a pain in the ass if there ever was one. From the womb, he was giving me hell. But he’s the sweetest little boy who loves his mama. He never had to suffer the trauma of a broken family, so he’s a bit spoilt. His brother and sisters protect him like he’s made of glass, and Justin does everything he can to make it up to him for the guilt he feels about his birth.

He learned about the divorce sometime in his teens and was very upset with her dad until I sat him down and asked him to forgive him. The others had already done that, but they’d dealt with it as young kids while he was much older and had a better understanding.

My sweet boy threatened his dad that day that if he ever did that again, he’d never even look at him again in this lifetime. As stubborn as he is, I’m inclined to believe he meant it, but we will never know because his dad is attached to my ass.

* * *

JUSTIN

I wokeearly that Monday morning as if the place was going to open earlier or something, which I knew it wasn’t, but I was so excited that she’d finally said yes that I could hardly sleep the night before. I watched her sleep for a while, just taking in her beauty and the fact that she was mine.

I looked at the clock and tried not to wake her as I climbed out of bed and, not for the first time, thanked my lucky stars that hers was the bed I was in. I break out in a cold sweat sometimes when I remember how close I had come to losing everything we’d shared in the last eighteen years or so since she let me come back home.

I can’t imagine not seeing my kids grow up, not spending every precious moment with Callie that I have. It’s like a nightmare, which I’ve had more than my fair share over the years, where I wake up in a panic until I see her face on the pillow next to mine.

In the shower, I grinned like a fool at my luck. It had only taken me damn near twenty years, but I finally had my woman back. Not that she wasn’t right there by my side this whole time, but for me, that piece of paper, as she likes to call it, means a lot.

There are days like today when I wonder what the hell was going on with me during that time; the time of the great disaster is what I call it in my mind. I’m not gonna lie; the sex was great the first couple of times with Daisy, but once the guilt started to set in, it was no longer fun.

I tried ending things more than once in the beginning, but I was always afraid that things would get out somehow, that I’d be caught and lose my wife and kids. It might sound silly now that I look back on it, but that fear, more than anything, is what kept me going back to her. The fear that if I called things off, she’s retaliate and tell my wife.

I thought I needed something; what that something was, I’m not sure, but it definitely wasn’t what I got in the affair. I’ve read other people’s accounts of their divorce and can’t find myself in any of them.

Callie wasn’t a bad wife or mother; she did her best in everything, but I was too selfish back then to realize. The long and short of it, is I needed to grow the hell up. But I didn’t know that then. Didn’t realize that I was putting everything on her because I was the breadwinner. I thought that was all that was required of me, so I neglected my wife and kids because society had pretty much taught me that that was the way to go.

I won’t say I justified the affair, but I sure talked myself into believing that it was fair and that I deserved some happiness of my own when all my wife seemed to care about were the kids. I was such an ass that I didn’t realize that she had grown up, grown into being a mother, something she had to learn on the fly because no one can teach you that; all the while, I was stuck in my college days mindset.

I wanted us to do the same things we always did together, but whereas she had already realized that we weren’t the same people, I didn’t get the memo. It’s hard looking back at that time and seeing myself and the person I had become.

Once Callie served me with the divorce papers and everything was out in the open, it was like someone stripped the skin off my bones. Not only that, but a light switch went off in my head, and I realized what I stood to lose, something I was always aware of but wished would never happen.

I think what scared me most was her attitude; it was as if she didn’t care like she was done with me when I was finally coming to see what she and the kids meant to me. It was then I realized that I didn’t want another woman, I wanted my wife, but so much about our lives had changed that I hadn’t been ready for.

I thought it would be easy; Mom had made it look so easy. But even she explained that, of course, to a child, it looked easy because I didn’t have any of the responsibility that she, as a parent, had. She seemed to sympathize more with my wife because she herself had had to fight for her place in her marriage once I came along.

There were changes to be made, and she and Dad were better at making those changes than I was. I could blame it on generational differences, but the truth is I was a shit husband and an absentee father.

I didn’t see the strain my demands made on my wife or how tired she was. I thought only I had the right to be tired since I was the one going out to work all day to give her the life she deserved.

It was only after the divorce that my eyes were opened, but by then, it was too late. I never knew how much trouble it was to take care of three kids on my own until I had to, and I was amazed at all she had done. Our kids were well-behaved and smart even at that age, and I had her to thank for that.

When I saw how much work it was, I felt even worse. I would’ve done anything to make it up to her, but she wouldn’t let me. She shut me out completely and just went on with her life. I was mad at her in the beginning, but as time went on, I saw why she did it. I would’ve done it, too, had I been in her shoes.

I was never in love with anyone else; that much was clear by the way I missed Callie when I moved out on my own and had to return to an empty apartment each day while my wife and kids were in the family home without me and just hearing Daisy’s voice was enough to upset me to no end.

I realized that I didn’t really like her, and some days, I couldn’t even remember how the affair started. That’s not to say I blame her entirely for the whole thing, I played my part in it as well, but I could see looking back where I went wrong.

I should’ve been talking to my wife instead of her about my problems and should’ve set boundaries with her from the beginning so that things did not go too far, but by the time I realized my mistake, it was too late. Callie handed me divorce papers and never looked back. I didn’t even know she knew; I was always so careful.

I was angry, hurt, and ashamed all at once, and the thought of never having my family whole again haunted me for the longest time. I kept Daisy around at that point because otherwise, I would’ve destroyed my family for no reason whatsoever, but I couldn’t stand her at that point.

Then I got the bright idea to make Callie jealous, but she just never seemed to care. Then she started seeing that Tim person, and I knew I had to win her back. It still burns my ass that she’d been with someone else after me, and it’s even worse because he moved away soon after Jamie was born, and I never got to meet him.

For the past eighteen years, every man I see is Tim. I’ve begged her to put me out of my misery, but she wouldn’t relent. It doesn’t help that her description of him leaves me feeling lacking, and I was never so happy as I was the day I got the DNA results for our boy.

I’ve still not been able to rest all these years from the fear of him coming back on the scene and disrupting our lives, but now she’s agreed to marry me, and I won’t be having that fear any longer.

* * *

I wasone of the first in line to get the marriage license that morning, which was perfect because I needed to get to the office. I had a meeting that I couldn’t miss, but even when Callie told me I should put this off for another day, I refused; I wanted it done and out of the way. The sooner I get the license, the sooner we can get married again.

“Mr. Campbell, I’m sorry, there seems to be some sort of mix-up.”

“What do you mean?”

“You say you want to get a marriage license for you and one Callie Stevens. Is this a vow renewal?”

“No!”

“But I don’t understand; you’re not divorced, so why would you have to get married again if it’s not a renewal?” I laughed at the young lady behind the desk, thinking that she must be new on the job.

“Check again; we’ve been divorced for twenty years.”

“No, you haven’t. Your wife never signed the divorce papers. Take a look.”

My heart was racing as I took the printed-out paper from her hand. My mind was awhirl with the thought of the hoops I was going to have to jump through to fix whatever screw-up this was.

I looked down at my own signature, and then my eyes fell on the place where hers was supposed to be. There, in perfect English script, was the word penance. “No one ever noticed this in all this time?”

“Don’t say anything, but who has time to check every signature that comes through here when there are literally hundreds a day?”

I didn’t know if to laugh or cry. We’ve been married this whole time. How the hell is that even possible? Instead of going to the office, I called and canceled my meeting and headed back home to her.

She was sitting next to the pool, dipping her toes in the water, looking like she didn’t have a care in the world. “Hello, wife.”

“Hello, husband.” She didn’t even have the decency to look contrite.

* * *

THE BITCH

* * *

I’m notsure what his daughter was doing there for the reading, but whatever. I ignored her as we both entered the room with the attorney. I took out my phone to record because I wanted to remember this day always, the day my life was going to change for the better.

Now, I wouldn’t have to wait for the old man to give me money or anything else that I wanted because I would be the one in control. Finally, after a whole damn lifetime, I was about to come into my own.

I’d already made up my mind to sell off the business to the highest bidder and put the house on the market. I had my sights set on Europe; maybe I would even find myself another rich husband there, someone worthy of me and my new millions.

I listened to the old man drone on and on, not paying much attention until I heard the daughter’s name called. What was he leaving her? Her mother’s old things? I’d already packed those up for her to pick up from my house.

“To my daughter Katherine, I leave my business and all my assets, including my shares in….” There was a buzzing in my ear.

“Read that again, what did you say?”

“To my darling wife, I leave five dollars. That should be enough to take the bus back to where you came from. Here, he left this for you.”

“What is that?”

It looked like a USB flash drive that I took with a shaking hand. “Is that all? What else is there? What about the house? His savings?” I looked over at the fat bitch who was smirking at me.

“It’s all on there. Why don’t you plug it into your computer and have a look?”

“You know what is on here?” I had a bad feeling in the pit of my gut and it got even worse when she stood and shook the lawyer’s hand with promises to get together with him sometime later in the week before leaving.

My dead husband’s face came on the screen, and it was obvious that the video was from years ago when he was much healthier. “Hello Daisy, I guess I’m dead and gone, and the will has been read. Now let me explain why I left you nothing. First, I’m not so green that I don’t know the only reason a thirty-year-old woman would want to be with a seventy-year-old man is because of his wealth. At least give me points for knowing that much. But did you have to fuck all of my friends?”

“I would’ve given you more had you not been so horrible to my daughter. The cheating, I would’ve understood, seeing as how I got a kick out of it. Oh, you didn’t know that my friends bragged about sharing you. I bet you also didn’t know that it was with my full consent.”

“Yes, even their wives were in on it. We all used to get a kick out of you putting on airs with them when they all had seen you being used by any and everything with a dick.” I looked around at the lawyer who was sitting behind his desk, pretending not to notice my degradation.

“Do you remember all those Friday night game nights I used to have? Those nights were spent watching your latest debauchery. I know you were only too happy to get out of the house for a girl’s night when in reality, you were fucking the gardener or the driver; you thought you had it made, didn’t you?”

“Anyway, as you can see, I wasn’t the blind fool you thought I was. I left you five dollars so that you cannot contest the will and if you should so choose, my lawyer has copies of the videos that would show any judge why you are not to get one penny of my money.”

“This can’t be; this can’t be happening.” I cleaned his shit for the last two years. Spent years being slobbered over and sucking his geriatric dick, all in the hopes of making it rich. What the hell is happening?

“By the time you have finished this, your bags should be packed with just enough clothes that would fit in an overnight bag, as well as your important documents. The locks would have been changed, and Katherine would take possession of her house starting immediately. Goodbye, and thanks for the last eighteen years. It was a wild ride.”

My body felt numb, hot, and heavy, and I wasn’t sure if it was the hot flashes that I’d started getting recently or the shock from this situation. My phone dinged with an alert, and I was so confused I looked. It was an announcement. Justin and Callie were getting married.