Chapter Twenty-Nine Austin

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Austin

I kick Claire’s foot under the table, then trap it with both of mine. She looks up from her art project. We’re working at the dining room table because Wyatt wanted to hang with us. Then he ditched us for video games after about twenty minutes.

We’ve managed to hang out every night since we got back from the cabin, and I can’t get enough.

“Are you done?” she asks me.

I’ve barely done a thing. I’m too distracted by her. Claire gives me a knowing look and then returns her attention to her painting. We’ve finished all our pieces and are working on flyers for the show. Well, she is. I’m working on memorizing her face.

“Austin.” My mom comes into the kitchen with her phone in hand. She looks up from the screen. “What kind of cake do you want for your birthday?”

“Oh, uh…I don’t care. Chocolate on chocolate, I guess.”

Mom wrinkles up her nose playfully. She prefers vanilla. “Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

She holds her disgusted face for a beat longer before smiling. When I glance back across the table, Claire’s eyes are wide and locked on me.

“When is your birthday?” she asks.

“Friday,” I say.

“How have you not mentioned this?”

I shrug it off. “I don’t know.”

Except I do know. I haven’t mentioned it to anyone after I found out that Dad wasn’t going to be able to make it back for the day. Usually, Mom makes our favorite meal, and we have cake and ice cream and then play board games. Then we’d do stuff with friends another day if we want. It’s yet another tradition that won’t happen this year. I swallow down the disappointment. I’m turning seventeen, not seven, so I know it’s dumb to want my dad here. It’s just that I thought it was one thing for sure he wouldn’t miss.

“We should get everyone together and do something,” Claire says.

“We have a game the next day.”

“Not a party, just a little get-together with your closest friends. It’s your first birthday in Frost Lake. It should be celebrated.”

“Is that in the Frost Lake community handbook?” I tease.

“If it isn’t, it should be.” She continues smiling at me. “Seriously. It’d be fun.”

I glance at Mom. “Is it all right if some of my friends come over Friday night?”

Her smile tells me instantly that she’s more than happy about the idea. “I don’t see why not. And it’ll give me a good excuse to order chocolate and vanilla. I’m sure some of your friends have better taste than you do.” Mom goes into full party-planning mode. “How many people?” she asks.

“Maybe some of the guys on the team and a few others. Fifteen?” I look to Claire.

With her thumb raised, she raises it, indicating I should go higher.

“Thirty?” I ask.

She grins sheepishly.

Leaning over, I quickly swipe my lips over hers.

“Thirty what?” Torrance asks as she walks into the kitchen.

“People,” I say, pulling away from Claire. “For my birthday.”

Torrance glares at Mom and then me. “You’re throwing him a birthday party with all his friends, and you won’t even let me go visit one of mine?” If looks could kill, my sister would have murdered me a hundred times over the past two months.

“Torrance…” Mom starts.

“No. Forget it. I don’t want to hear it.” She turns on her heel and runs for the stairs. As usual, a moment later, her door slams and music starts.

Mom sighs. “I should probably go talk to her.”

“And I need to get home,” Claire says.

After she packs up, we walk outside.

“You still seemed bummed.” She bumps her shoulder against mine. “What’s up?”

“It’s nothing.”

“It’s obviously something. Do you not want to celebrate your birthday? I’m sorry if I overstepped. I love birthdays. Lacey always goes over the top and makes the whole day special.”

I notice she doesn’t mention her parents, and that makes me upset for her and then disappointed all over again that my dad isn’t coming home.

She sits on the bottom step of the porch like she’s prepared to wait until I’m ready to talk about it.

So I sit next to her and exhale a long breath before I say, “I’m just bummed that my dad isn’t coming. He’s missed all my games and now my birthday. And the worst part is, I can’t even be mad, because it’s my fault.”

“Who says you can’t be mad?” Claire asks, brows pinching together as she angles her body toward mine. Our knees lock, and I absently drop one palm to her calf.

“If we’d stayed in Arizona, he wouldn’t have to miss everything. And he’s not just missing my stuff. He’s only seen a couple of Wyatt’s games, he and Mom used to have date nights every Friday, and Dad and Torrance made pancakes on Sunday mornings and then watched cartoons. He’s missing all of it because of me.”

“You have a right to your feelings, and pretending like it’s fine won’t help anyway.”

“Neither will complaining about it.”

Her smile softens. “You have the best family, Austin, but even the best families aren’t perfect. Your family picked up and moved across the country because they love you and they believe in you. And in doing that, things got more complicated. You can be frustrated or mad or sad or whatever. Just know that it will work out. This is just a rough patch. You all will find new traditions and ways to show up for each other, because that’s who you are. You’re so lucky. Your family loves you unconditionally. Not everyone has what you have.”

Her words cut through me. By not everyone, I think she means her. Guilt slowly seeps in. Here I am complaining, and she has had it far worse. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I know it’s dumb.”

“No, don’t be sorry. It sucks that your dad won’t be here and that he’s missed all your games. But it’s not because he doesn’t want to be.”

I wrap my arms around her middle and rest my head on her shoulder. “Thank you.”

“For what? I’m just stating all the obvious things.”

My phone buzzes in the front pocket of my hoodie. I pull it out and read the text from Rowan. “I see the news has somehow already gotten out.”

She laughs. “I put Lacey in charge.”

“Dear god, help us.” Or my mom anyway. Did I tell her thirty people? Not with Lacey planning it. I chuckle as I put my phone away and then keep on hugging Claire.

Somehow, she’s become my lifeline. I don’t know what I’d do without her anymore. And that is a terrifying and exhilarating thought.